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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Don't judge me, my addiction IS an addiction.

Opiatehell85

Opiatehell85

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 11, 2016
Messages
223
Location
Uk
Hi, I've been a blue light lurker for a few years but never joined or posted, so here I go, please be patient.

im a 30 year parent of three, started taking cocodamol for hip dysplasia, loved how two would make me feel, one thing led to another and I got started on codeine phosphate as my tolerance went up. I've stabilised on a 20-30tablets a day (30mg) habit.

Ive seemed help from a nhs drug councilling unit who have said I could have subutex but I feel like that's 'swatting a fly with a cricket bat' so to speak, won't they be even harder to get off in the long run?

ive been researching Kratom but seems a bit hit and miss,

i cant do the withdrawal it's awful :( I seem to get it really bad, chest pains , eyes go funny, restless legs, bad stomach etc etc, and I'm scared of telling my gp in case he stops my supply.
i also buy online which costs me a fortune. I do have support at home but partner always in work, I work and juggle the children myself, and he just doesn't realise how hard it is. I'm in withdrawal today and he just said hopefully the next two days (payday) comes quick.

what I'm looking for on here is any advice on how to stop or how to ease the withdrawal, how long will it last ? I have also dabbled in morphine, 60-90 mg at a time but my supply of these has no stopped.

Thankyou!
 
If your forced to have nothing for 2 more days then you'll be through the worst of wds. Honestly you'd only have another day of wd left before u got better so if u can make it that far then u might as well go the extra day and just be done with it. I'm on heroin and that's usually how long it takes me so with codeine it might not be quite as long but idk for sure. U should start getting better on day 4 though and day 5 should be noticeably better. It's pretty much the same wd from both drugs so it's definitely gonna suck but you'll be through the worst of by the time payday comes. I notice I had better success quoting when I was forces to go about 3 days with nothing knowing that I only had another day or 2 left to go. You just gotta make up ur mind on payday not to get anything cause it'll set u right back to day 1 since there's no clean time in between. I hope u find the stregnth to quit or u resolve ur money problems quickly so u don't suffer needlessly if ur gonna go back to using. Kicking opiates is really psychological and if u really sike urself out that ur gonna kick then that makes it easier IMO. If u get to day 3-4 clean then honestly I'd just go another day or so and finally be done with it , it's just not worth it.
 
The withdrawal is easier to deal with than the pain unless you truly need the med for pain (in my opinion). Im day 9 of only taking 5mg of oxy per day. After day 4 or 5 of withdrawals, most of the symptoms subsided except for some of the restless leg. Its my back pain that has been the biggest beast. Im a working mom of twin toddlers, so I understand how difficult it is. Just remember, you're not alone and this is temporary. But what Cliffy said is right on. If you can make it 3 days without, your more than halfway through the horror... Just a little bit longer and you're in the clear. You might have some light symptoms after that, but a majority of it will be gone.
I know how long it take time to pass, I was just there... But you're a MOM of THREE beautiful children, you CAN do this!!!!!!
 
Opiatehell85 said:
Hi, I've been a blue light lurker for a few years but never joined or posted, so here I go, please be patient.

im a 30 year parent of three, started taking cocodamol for hip dysplasia, loved how two would make me feel, one thing led to another and I got started on codeine phosphate as my tolerance went up. I've stabilised on a 20-30tablets a day (30mg) habit.

Ive seemed help from a nhs drug councilling unit who have said I could have subutex but I feel like that's 'swatting a fly with a cricket bat' so to speak, won't they be even harder to get off in the long run?

ive been researching Kratom but seems a bit hit and miss,

i cant do the withdrawal it's awful :( I seem to get it really bad, chest pains , eyes go funny, restless legs, bad stomach etc etc, and I'm scared of telling my gp in case he stops my supply.
i also buy online which costs me a fortune. I do have support at home but partner always in work, I work and juggle the children myself, and he just doesn't realise how hard it is. I'm in withdrawal today and he just said hopefully the next two days (payday) comes quick.

what I'm looking for on here is any advice on how to stop or how to ease the withdrawal, how long will it last ? I have also dabbled in morphine, 60-90 mg at a time but my supply of these has no stopped.

Thankyou!
Click to expand...
Hes not going to kiss your ass because you were weak and decided you need to get high everysingle day instead of once in a while what do you expect!
 
Justtakethat, youre being an inconsiderate asshole.

Also, i would highly advise getting a half ounce of kratom online (not in a headshop), and using 1 to 2 grams twice a day for 3 days, and then dropping it to one dose a day for two days, and then dropping it completely. Kratom is very helpful for WD from a weak opiate like codeine
 
^cold hearted truth how do you blame someone for the mistakes you made? and of course he doesnt understand whats going on
but i do sympathize for you as a fellow BL
but in all honesty you need to check yourself into a detox clinic or rehab you are consuming a shit ton of medication each day ...how do you think its gonna end?
and using kratom is just adding fuel to a fire that's already huge
kratom has some nasty WD as well
if push comes to shove you can head to the ER and tell them you are exp WD good chance they'll give you something to hold you over
hope you get the help you need

 
HeadHigh said:
Justtakethat, youre being an inconsiderate asshole.

Also, i would highly advise getting a half ounce of kratom online (not in a headshop), and using 1 to 2 grams twice a day for 3 days, and then dropping it to one dose a day for two days, and then dropping it completely. Kratom is very helpful for WD from a weak opiate like codeine
Click to expand...
People like u just instantly think oh hes an asshole without actually reading and realizing what im saying, its like she was forced to take opiates she did it hersel, she shouldnt blame anyone else at all just herself
 
I get that she shouldnt blame anyone but herself, but do you really think that what you had to say was helpful input? It was not. Bluelight is about helping other people, and you have yet to add anything helpful to this discussion. I am not saying that you are an asshole all the time, but that comment was an asshole thing to say
 
She's not blaming her partner for her problems but saying that he could be a little more supportive, which is obvious. Yes, she did it to herself, but that doesn't mean everyone around her should just turn away and let her suffer. Actually you're a part of the problem. People need support in all kinds of situations, addiction being one of them.

On topic, I agree with Cliffy. Codeine withdrawal doesn't last long, usually 3-4 days for the worst part. What you're taking is pretty high (I understand 600-900 mg spread throughout the day), but it's still codeine which is fairly weak. Getting on buprenorphine is not a good idea because that would just prolong the torture, and is actually redundant in case of a weak opioid like codeine. Kratom is unnecessary as well if you just want to quit opioids altogether. If you have some kind of pain you're treating (seems like you do), then I think the wise thing would be to discuss the situation with your doctor. If you're unhappy about the dosages you're taking, taper to a lower level and try to stay there - it will be unpleasant for a few days, but it'll get better. If the problem is that you need THAT much codeine to keep the pain at bay, you may need to switch to other, stronger, opioid. In any case, if you have a real problem, discuss it with your doctor.

If you want to drop the habit completely, I advise doing it cold turkey, or doing a very quick taper with codeine. I've been taking 500-600 mg codeine daily for a few months and honestly, I've gone 2 or 3 days without taking any and it wasn't bad at all - just flu-like symptoms. It even started getting better after about 80 hours since last dose. It's not heroin after all. As Cliffy said, by the time you get a refill you will already be pretty much past the WD.
 
belligerent drunk said:
She's not blaming her partner for her problems but saying that he could be a little more supportive, which is obvious. Yes, she did it to herself, but that doesn't mean everyone around her should just turn away and let her suffer. Actually you're a part of the problem. People need support in all kinds of situations, addiction being one of them.

On topic, I agree with Cliffy. Codeine withdrawal doesn't last long, usually 3-4 days for the worst part. What you're taking is pretty high (I understand 600-900 mg spread throughout the day), but it's still codeine which is fairly weak. Getting on buprenorphine is not a good idea because that would just prolong the torture, and is actually redundant in case of a weak opioid like codeine. Kratom is unnecessary as well if you just want to quit opioids altogether. If you have some kind of pain you're treating (seems like you do), then I think the wise thing would be to discuss the situation with your doctor. If you're unhappy about the dosages you're taking, taper to a lower level and try to stay there - it will be unpleasant for a few days, but it'll get better. If the problem is that you need THAT much codeine to keep the pain at bay, you may need to switch to other, stronger, opioid. In any case, if you have a real problem, discuss it with your doctor.

If you want to drop the habit completely, I advise doing it cold turkey, or doing a very quick taper with codeine. I've been taking 500-600 mg codeine daily for a few months and honestly, I've gone 2 or 3 days without taking any and it wasn't bad at all - just flu-like symptoms. It even started getting better after about 80 hours since last dose. It's not heroin after all. As Cliffy said, by the time you get a refill you will already be pretty much past the WD.
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I never said she doesnt deserve support so that cant make me part of the problem i thi k she should get support but not expect it and if its not there get pissed. Also OP cold turkey is the quickest and most efficent way
 
Sorry that sounded a bit abrupt which isnt like me.

I dont blame my partner for any of this its all my own fault. What I meant is he works alot so it's hard caring for three kids while being sick along with having to work myself. I dont sit on my ass all day trying to get high trust me. Tablets are being taken in twos every hour or so just so I feel ok. But added up during the whole day its an awful lot.

I do not sit an take 600mg in one go!
 
Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I did write a big essay but it's gone ooops.

Yeah so im on day two. Restless legs the worst and the shivers. Gabapentin helping slightly. Cant sleep tho :(
 
Hello day three (also payday ) slept about two hours last night, if I could get something to help with sleep I could do this, the days are long, but the nights even longer. Need to not give into temptation, thinking of emailing my source and telling them I'm addicted and not to give me anymore, online drug dealers in prescription drugs are just the worst ��
 
Has your condition improved somewhat by now? It seems you're about 80-90 hours into WD, so I think this is the end of the peak for you. You could use a benzo or two for sleep, or any GABAergic really, like valerian. If you decide to take benzos, don't take too much or too often - you don't want to kick one drug to get hooked on another one. Also exercise should help you feel better somewhat.
 
How you holding up OP? Haven't posted as everyone is already giving you great advice. But I've been reading and following, rooting for you. Just grit your teeth and pull yourself through the rest of the day. You will see improvement by tomorrow! I ALWAYS ALWAYS notice a significant change around day 3 and 4. A positive change. It will happen! This is coming from the guy who has had a couple 2-3 year long runs with the big H lol.
 
Send me a private message and I'll try to help you the best I can, or at least give you someone to talk to who has a LOT of experience with what you're going through. I'm married happily, but I've gone through things like you are going through and my wife didn't really understand the difficulty of it and it was frustrating, but we pulled through and love each other like we did when we first met.

Things WILL BE OKAY! I know you have a lot on your plate right now and life is hard...It won't always be as bad as it is right now.....Message me if you want someone to listen.

I'm new to Bluelight but I'm 30+ years old and have a nice amount of experience in life in general....I won't betray your trust or speak about private matters in the forum either.

Take Care :)
 
You and your partner both have a lot on your shoulders....He probably doesn't understand how hard it is because he may not take those types of medications etc and he may have a not very accurate view of the pain someone goes through during a withdrawal....caring for kids is hard enough on it's own...while in withdrawal you need your partner to support you....My wife held it against me when I was taking benzos and went into a withdrawal....she told me I deserved it and showed me no mercy because she was upset that I had neglected her while on drugs and not been a good husband......All sorts of things could be going through your partners head...It's a difficult situation for both people...I believe you do deserve a bit of sympathy......Withdrawal is the thing I fear most..I would rather have my legs and knees broken than go through a withdrawal of Methadone for 30 days+ .... It's tough..
 
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