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Depersonalization from MDMA?

ShaolinBomber said:
haha comparing america to other countries is like comparing apples and a fucking pickle. America is so fucked up. You dont even understand whats pushed day aftet day on the media to kids of all ages. My family is fucked up too. Some people's lives aren't as well off as you might have it. You deal the card you're dealt, and if you find help along the way, you take it.

I dont abuse my medication. I use it. It settles me down when normally my mind would race in social situations thinking about all the possible outcomes if i talked to this person or start get edgy when someone would ask me a question. I dont know where it comes from. I didn't always use to be like that. Dissassociation and HPPD are fucking hell. I've got all kinds of problems becauseof it. You truely cant understand what dissassociation feels like.

To put it as simply as possible. Dissassociation is a purgatory for your mind. You dont connect to past memories and everything that happens in the present, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, doesn't seem real. Familiar places become strange and bizzare. Everything is off with my visual disturbances, half the time, even on 1mg of klonopin a day, i feel like im in alice in wonderland.

ok im done.
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Dude I live in America. Trust me after growing up outside of the US in a very laid back environment and then moving to a pretty retarded/hick part of the US, I very much understand how fucked America can get. I fucked myself up on many occasions and I even self medicated myself with benzos. Yes my life is probably a lot better than most people, I don't deny it. But when it comes down to it, for the vast majority of people in the US, their life is way better than a good portion of the world that lives on less than a $ a day.

What would you do if there was no such things as klonopin? What you commit suicide? How would you go about your daily life if there was no klonopin? Don't you see the irony of this situation? Don't you think that after dealing with a 1000 edgy situations, the next one might be a just a little bit easier to deal with?

I am not judging you or anything, if you think it's the best solution, keep using your klonopin. I am just trying to suggest that perhaps benzos aren't the only way out.

Take care
 
ShaolinBomber said:
haha comparing america to other countries is like comparing apples and a fucking pickle. America is so fucked up. You dont even understand whats pushed day aftet day on the media to kids of all ages. My family is fucked up too. Some people's lives aren't as well off as you might have it. You deal the card you're dealt, and if you find help along the way, you take it.

I dont abuse my medication. I use it. It settles me down when normally my mind would race in social situations thinking about all the possible outcomes if i talked to this person or start get edgy when someone would ask me a question. I dont know where it comes from. I didn't always use to be like that. Dissassociation and HPPD are fucking hell. I've got all kinds of problems becauseof it. You truely cant understand what dissassociation feels like.

To put it as simply as possible. Dissassociation is a purgatory for your mind. You dont connect to past memories and everything that happens in the present, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, doesn't seem real. Familiar places become strange and bizzare. Everything is off with my visual disturbances, half the time, even on 1mg of klonopin a day, i feel like im in alice in wonderland.

ok im done.
Click to expand...

wow dude you need help! in a kind way!

at what time do you take the klonopin every day?

klonopin does not last an entire day, and when it wears off, you basically go into a type of psychosis.. It's half the time because you are taking it once a day and it's only lasting you 6-7 hours of relief, followed by your brain fighting back against the effect of the drug which makes you feel more "out of it".

You admit in your post to America being fucked up. You say you are aware of the media pushing information on people... You are obviously just one of the many who absolutely do not fit into American life and values on the inside, much of your life actually wasn't real. You just need to learn to cope with that.

or just get sucked back into it. Ignorance is bliss. Almost everything you could consider "American" in nature, be it a personality type or a food product is promoting a false ideal that is absolutely not natural.

You are being affected by these "symptoms" of what you say on a higher level of suffering to your SELF because your SELF is not projecting through your outward actions.

You need to reconstruct your SELF to be able to coexist with disgusting American life without being affected by the plethora of programming being presented to you. Your mind will do this naturally to some extent, but if you have not explored your whole consciousness and become who you truly are, it will be faulty and cause you to form a fractured ego, like one we were all raised to have, in this wonderful country.
 
ColinGibs said:
wow dude you need help! in a kind way!

at what time do you take the klonopin every day?

klonopin does not last an entire day, and when it wears off, you basically go into a type of psychosis.. It's half the time because you are taking it once a day and it's only lasting you 6-7 hours of relief, followed by your brain fighting back against the effect of the drug which makes you feel more "out of it".

You admit in your post to America being fucked up. You say you are aware of the media pushing information on people... You are obviously just one of the many who absolutely do not fit into American life and values on the inside, much of your life actually wasn't real. You just need to learn to cope with that.

or just get sucked back into it. Ignorance is bliss. Almost everything you could consider "American" in nature, be it a personality type or a food product is promoting a false ideal that is absolutely not natural.

You are being affected by these "symptoms" of what you say on a higher level of suffering to your SELF because your SELF is not projecting through your outward actions.

You need to reconstruct your SELF to be able to coexist with disgusting American life without being affected by the plethora of programming being presented to you. Your mind will do this naturally to some extent, but if you have not explored your whole consciousness and become who you truly are, it will be faulty and cause you to form a fractured ego, like one we were all raised to have, in this wonderful country.
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i get what both lev and you colin are trying to help me. But seriously. Klonopin slows down excessive firing in my brain causes by neurobiological changes. Not all of it is physiological, but the shit i see ALL DAY EVERYDAY, is caused by phsiogolocial mechanisms induced by drugs in my brain. I cant turn off floaters, excessive glare, color intensification, trails, starbursts, static.

I cant do anything about that, and it causes me discomfort and anxiety just seeing it. Klonopin helps me. Klonopin might not help everyone, but i;ve been somewhat of an anxious person my whole life. Not to the point where i needed medication for it, but for some reason HPPD times this anxiety by 10 and its hard/next to impossible to control it. Believe me itried for 2 months after i knew that i had HPPD and dissociation to get over it psychologically without any meds. It didn't work for me.
 
ColinGibs said:
wow dude you need help! in a kind way!

at what time do you take the klonopin every day?

klonopin does not last an entire day, and when it wears off, you basically go into a type of psychosis.. It's half the time because you are taking it once a day and it's only lasting you 6-7 hours of relief, followed by your brain fighting back against the effect of the drug which makes you feel more "out of it".You admit in your post to America being fucked up. You say you are aware of the media pushing information on people... You are obviously just one of the many who absolutely do not fit into American life and values on the inside, much of your life actually wasn't real. You just need to learn to cope with that.

or just get sucked back into it. Ignorance is bliss. Almost everything you could consider "American" in nature, be it a personality type or a food product is promoting a false ideal that is absolutely not natural.

You are being affected by these "symptoms" of what you say on a higher level of suffering to your SELF because your SELF is not projecting through your outward actions.

You need to reconstruct your SELF to be able to coexist with disgusting American life without being affected by the plethora of programming being presented to you. Your mind will do this naturally to some extent, but if you have not explored your whole consciousness and become who you truly are, it will be faulty and cause you to form a fractured ego, like one we were all raised to have, in this wonderful country.
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oh by the way you're talking out of your ass. The half life of klonopin is 40 hours....or 35. It's somewhere around there.
 
ShaolinBomber said:
oh by the way you're talking out of your ass. The half life of klonopin is 40 hours....or 35. It's somewhere around there.
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Does knowing that make your DP better?

Try not taking your pill and see what happens. You probably can't do it for long. Especially taking it for depersonalization purposes. The psychological effects of clonazepam start to wear off around 6-8 hours. You your brain chemistry gets more and more scrambled from then on. The half life of the chemical does not matter. Benzodiazepines are psychologically AND physically addictive.

Benzos are never the answer for this in the long term. A week or two of taking them should determine whether or not you have sorted out your psychological issue and if not then you are just making yourself worse.. The reason you experience this is a problem with your SELF. Who you are. Something that you are consciously doing that has been so engrained into you even though it is negative that it appears almost like its not you. There is ALWAYS something else that should be looked at. Taking the benzo will NOT make it go away.
 
ColinGibs said:
Does knowing that make your DP better?

Try not taking your pill and see what happens. You probably can't do it for long. Especially taking it for depersonalization purposes. The psychological effects of clonazepam start to wear off around 6-8 hours. You your brain chemistry gets more and more scrambled from then on. The half life of the chemical does not matter. Benzodiazepines are psychologically AND physically addictive.

Benzos are never the answer for this in the long term. A week or two of taking them should determine whether or not you have sorted out your psychological issue and if not then you are just making yourself worse.. The reason you experience this is a problem with your SELF. Who you are. Something that you are consciously doing that has been so engrained into you even though it is negative that it appears almost like its not you. There is ALWAYS something else that should be looked at. Taking the benzo will NOT make it go away.
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psychological? all benzodiazepine drugs work as PHYSIOLOGICAL compounds. If someone has anxiety problems, they're not psychological you fucking dumb ass. If it were psychological then a PHYSIOLOGICALLY operating drug wouldn't do anything. Every post you make you lower your stupidity level, or should i say raise. This is the last time im responding to any of your posts.
 
ShaolinBomber said:
psychological? all benzodiazepine drugs work as PHYSIOLOGICAL compounds. If someone has anxiety problems, they're not psychological you fucking dumb ass. If it were psychological then a PHYSIOLOGICALLY operating drug wouldn't do anything. Every post you make you lower your stupidity level, or should i say raise. This is the last time im responding to any of your posts.
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Dumb ass? Look at yourself defend your addiction? Your already in pseudopsychosis and you don't realize it. Clonazepam is psychologically addictive as well. Do some research. You are literally the most ignorant, practically retarded person I have ever conversed with.

Can you think for yourself at all? Can you look beyond what you think you know? Obviously not. Thass gunna holdya bak buddy
 
Depersonalization is badass shit you can get from use of mdma. Thanks to that i'm not able to do it ever basically. I've had for 6 months or so, and ofc it has decreased its power against me if compared at the beginning. For those people who have not experienced it, its very difficult to understand it, even my friends thought i am talking shit or smt. Well the only thing that helps, time heals. Also living healthily and working out has helped me a lot. I am just wondering will it ever wore off completely. Also there was few things which were interesting, after i got this depers. always when i had a heavy drinking night, i felt double the shit very anxiety like and overthinking and paranoid. Also stopped drinking coffee coz it raised my anxiety greatly.
 
ShaolinBomber said:
psychological? all benzodiazepine drugs work as PHYSIOLOGICAL compounds. If someone has anxiety problems, they're not psychological you fucking dumb ass. If it were psychological then a PHYSIOLOGICALLY operating drug wouldn't do anything. Every post you make you lower your stupidity level, or should i say raise. This is the last time im responding to any of your posts.
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Anxiety is a mental health issue not a physical health issue. Benzos work for anxiety by masking the symptoms - you feel better without actually getting better. If psychological issues weren't eased by physiologically-acting meds then there'd be a lot of very ill mental patients living a far shittier life than they do. As mentioned by others, you simply wouldn't be prescribed Klonopin or other benzos in virtually any county other than the US. Not saying that's right or wrong but it's a fact and people still cope cos benzos don't actually cure anything despite making you feel better :)

Incidentally, for the sake of completeness, I am prescribed diazepam for anxiety amongst other things but only at a low dose and it's not common practice in the UK. I'm not suggesting you should like it or lump it with anxiety but there are other answers that can be equally - if not more - effective :)

On the depersonalisation issue, I've never heard of it related to MDMA use but seems perfectly feasible to me so don't doubt it's possible. Sadly there is no quick fix for problems like these but medication can help. "Dealing with it" in other ways will help a lot too though.
 
rollinrollinrollin said:
The only deppresiion i've heard of is the day after you roll.
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If you start abusing it, everything else in life kind of gets the volume turned down and you don't really enjoy it.
It doesn't have to be so extreme like the comedown for it to be depression.
 
There is some really interesting discussion in here and I would encourage it to continue.

HOWEVER.

Please do not resort to petty name calling when replying.

Thanks all.
 
Even though I don't think I've experienced many of these depersonalization symptoms, I totally agree with almost everything that ColinGibs is saying. Interesting thread to say the least.
 
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