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Cutting v. 2

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noreason41 said:
I'm surprised at myself, i just really want to - but i still havn't ...
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That really good noreason, it shows that you CAN do it, you CAN not cut yourself. If you got this far today, then just try a bit harder and make through the evening and go to bed, then wake up in the morning and there you have it, you will have gone a whole day without cutting!
Then do it again the next day, and the next. :)

revned04 said:
I haven't cut in yrs, like since a young teenager, but just started college and have started again. For me I just feel like its less destructive, and less a waste, of money than drug or alcohol addiction. I don't like doing it per se, but sometimes I just get so depressed, and even though I have friends, I either feel like they use me or try to ditch me constantly. And this one other girl that used to cut and was kind of helping me, told me I was a pussy and it just doesn't seem the same between us now, so I don't know what to do.:(
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Cutting is just as destructive as drugs or alcohol, (but you're right about the expensiveness part ;)) in fact, they're all the same kind of problems just manifested in different ways.

Have you got someone you can talk to about how you're feeling? Maybe a family member or a trusted friend? That sucks about the girl you were friends with, she should know better not to say things like that to you, especially since she used to cut herself!

But just take each day as it comes, and see if you can do something proactive to start to feel better. <3
 
I used to cut when I was 15-16.

I would do it whenever I had razor blades around so I got rid of all the razor knives and blades in my house.

It hurt too much to do it with a normal knife so I stopped doing it. Though I did try using different kinds of knives.

But yeah. I just stopped one day when I was 16 and have only one it like once or twice since.
 
That's really good that you were able to stop then Menthol <3

I think a lot of teenagers experiment with self-harm, the teenage years are pretty fucking tumultuous! And for some (most?) people it would be a total shock to the system, having all raging hormones and confusing thoughts and emotions running through them all of a sudden. Self harm is a coping mechanism, and to some it might be easier to cut/burn/pull hair out/etc, than to face trying to talk to someone about your problems.

My theory anyway... :)
 
Sorry back again. I really ned to cut but if the docs see it i'm more then fucked but then life isnt worth it with the amount of physical pain I'm in. I done th e rubber band flicking n stuff but i really need to cut I dunno wat the heck is wrong wit me. apart from some w/ds.
Any Ideas?
 
n3ophy7e said:
That's really good that you were able to stop then Menthol <3

I think a lot of teenagers experiment with self-harm, the teenage years are pretty fucking tumultuous! And for some (most?) people it would be a total shock to the system, having all raging hormones and confusing thoughts and emotions running through them all of a sudden. Self harm is a coping mechanism, and to some it might be easier to cut/burn/pull hair out/etc, than to face trying to talk to someone about your problems.

My theory anyway... :)
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I agree with you. The first time I cut was when I was 15. Actually right after my first rejection. Since then I've noticed that what triggers me is relationship oriented.
 
Def rejection makes me want to, but recently I've had to quit everything because of drug tests, and I feel like I have to be addicted to something, not because I want to but because thats just how my mind works. Since stopping I've really wanted to make at least one cut a night just to ease some of my stress, but I don't want to look like a cut that much, cause I know it would be noticeable.
 
revned, I can definitely relate to "needing to be addicted to something". I have an addictive personality so if it's not one thing, it's something else.
 
thanks n3ophy7e
i am doing pretty good. no shooting up or cutting but sometimes i do dream about it.
but i haven't cut in years or shot up either. maybe i got too old - LOL
i did read somewhere recently that women live longer because they bleed once a month and that we would all live longer if we were to bleed.....
but even after reading that i havent felt the need...
djh
 
Hmmm very interesting indeed ratgirl! You don't by any chance remember where you read that? I'd like to read it too...

That's so good that you're not injecting OR cutting anymore. That's why I love this thread, so many success stories :)
Also, I think a lot of people do grow out of it (the cutting, not so much the injecting) so you might be right :)
 
wow this is pretty radical, a thread where cutters talk about it like it's normal...3 years ago I probably would've ripped into you people(I don't believe in self-mutilation), but when I broke up with my fiancee this year I went through a terrible close-to-alcoholism phase, spending all my money on drink etc.
About 2 weeks after the breakup I cut myself for the first time - about 10 slashes on the inside of my left calf muscle, 7/8 on the outside, 4/5 across each bicep and about 6 on my chest..I did these pretty slowly one night, and what a pussy I was...half of them are REALLY faint now (7 months ago) and the rest are barely visible except for 2 deep ones on the inner calf...
I said I would never do this again after I crashed my car, freaked out all my mates etc., but the one thing I did notice about it was that making these slow cuts made my panic attacks I was having after the breakup go away, the adrenaline the pain produced taking the edge off...and I could actually feel real pain, not just panic or numbness...(I wasn't drunk this time)

WEEEEELL I did it again, probably about a month and a bit later(?) I came home real drunk, fucked up again about the breakup (I know alcohol is terrible for making stuff worse, but somehow I couldn't stop) but this time I got my craft knife and didnt try precise cuts - I just pulled quick and deep...5/6/7 across my left front shoulder, 4/5 across my right, 3/4 across my chest and one across my stomach...I really just whipped the blade across the flesh...
Now everyone here knows what happens when you combine alcohol with cutting/tattooing piercing - it bleeds a shitload more, and there I was crying with a blade in my hand, blood streaming down my arms and chest, and my brother comes in, hands me a towel and gives me a hug...
now after this I have serious scars, 3 in particular I know will never go...2 on my left shoulder opened up about 4 mm wide, but the one on my stomach oh lord - it opened up so deep that I thought I was going to have to go to hospital...the scar now is still (I didnt go to hospital I bandaged it up for the night and rubbed antiseptic lotion into the wound everyday etc) about 5mm wide and about 4 inches long...
These scars I wear remind me of how bad I got, and how much I needed help...And although I was in therapy already at the time, I kicked the booze, the coke, had already kicked the weed along time before as a test for myself, and started reading a book my mother gave me by the Dalai Lama...

I'm now totally different, I love myself, I'm still not fully over my ex (7.5months since the breakup) but she doesn't enter my mind even 90% as much as she used to, I'm sorting out my life, and I still don't believe in self-harm...
I look at my scars as a learning curve - everyday I look at them and laugh to myself, coz I did something I thought I would never do or understand, and know I will never do it again...
I now no longer care if people see these scars I wear them with pride coz they teach me about an old, a dormant part of myself, a part I'd tried to get rid of by pushing down into the murky swamps of my mind, and out of my life.

Now I'm back to thinking that cutting is wrong, but have felt humbled upon reading this thread... I do think there are much better ways however of dealing with stress, emotional pain, anger - you just need to find your way of doing it without doing harm to this temple of infinite possibilities - your physical body!
 
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Pillthrill said:
I did a drawing that was related to cutting last night in pencil. But I think I might get in trouble if I posted it on TDS.
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Plus I really want to see this, I have never done art when Ive been in my bad tiems coz art makes me happy and I do it when Im happy, but I did start to do some when in the lowest of low and found I was extremely inspired...having read this enlightening thread I'd loveto see this if you could PM me that would be cool. Nice to meet you, peace
 
jimmyblaze, thanks so much for sharing your experience. It's an inspiring story, and I'm glad you've come through it all for the best <3
 
Well, I don't think i've felt worse in the last few weeks at all - and that's saying something.

One of my best mates basically can't be mates with me anymore, and its not his fault nor mine....but its happened. It's not that he's going overseas or something, he's not.

So i was going to get pissed tonight, i was looking forward to it....and then i realized i had no beer and it was too late to get any - That really ticked me off.

So i got my last razor blade out (My friend took the pack i had when i passed out on Monday so that i wouldn't use them anymore - But i had one left stashed in my wallet) ... But it's blunt, i can't do it at all.

So now i'm in this completely restless position, i've got no alcohol, i don't have any razor blades, I've got insomnia so i won't be able to get to sleep without my meds, but i don't want to take them, I've got no other drugs on me, i don't know what to do and i'm feeling more depressed then i have at all in the last month.:(
 
pillthrill thanks for sending me that by PM - I like the simpllistic lines, it looks quite representative of the subject til you see the blood starting to poor down, then the whole image is changed to kinda ghoulish. It's surprisingly peaceful tho...I like the nails
 
noreason41 said:
So now i'm in this completely restless position, i've got no alcohol, i don't have any razor blades, I've got insomnia so i won't be able to get to sleep without my meds, but i don't want to take them, I've got no other drugs on me, i don't know what to do and i'm feeling more depressed then i have at all in the last month.:(
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When I can't sleep, I lie in bed and read a book, or lie on the lounge with my quilt and watch TV. It takes my mind off whatever I'm obsessing over in my head, and pretty soon I fall asleep without even knowing it.
Also, maybe invest in some chamomile tea so you can have some when you can't sleep. It really relaxes me, and sometimes even puts me to sleep.
 
noreason- when i'm in the position that you're at, i usually pop a couple benedryls (diphenhydramine) (sp?) and take resin hits from a bowl. hope this helps.

on another note, i acquired some sterile scalpels and i'm having a fucking field day with them. so much better than a razor blade. i'm really worried about going too deep or something though. anyone else ever use a medical scalpel?
 
marlborogirl47 said:
noreason- when i'm in the position that you're at, i usually pop a couple benedryls (diphenhydramine) (sp?) and take resin hits from a bowl. hope this helps.

on another note, i acquired some sterile scalpels and i'm having a fucking field day with them. so much better than a razor blade. i'm really worried about going too deep or something though. anyone else ever use a medical scalpel?
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I've never actually used one to cut myself, but i have used them to cut other things.

Be really careful, their sharpness is understated. The deepness of a cut increases exponentially based on how much pressure you put on, you might put a little bit of pressure to cut a medium sized cut, adding a tiny amount of pressure can cause the cut to go far deeper then intended.

Be careful.
 
marlborogirl47 said:
noreason- when i'm in the position that you're at, i usually pop a couple benedryls (diphenhydramine) (sp?) and take resin hits from a bowl. hope this helps.

on another note, i acquired some sterile scalpels and i'm having a fucking field day with them. so much better than a razor blade. i'm really worried about going too deep or something though. anyone else ever use a medical scalpel?
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I was a vet nurse and have watched/performed a shitload of surgery in my time. PLEASE PLEASE be careful with surgical scalpels!! They are much sharper than you could even imagine. If you must cut, please test the sharpness of the scalpel by just gliding it lightly across your skin, and guage the pressure you need from that. DON'T START CUTTING WITH THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF PRESSURE YOU WOULD USE WITH A RAZOR BLADE! Like noreason said, the deepness/width of the cut increases exponentially with the amount of pressure you apply to a surgical scalpel. Also, stay away from veins.

Please be careful <3
 
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