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Cutting v. 2

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^^ Thank you darling <3
I'm on new meds now and I haven't felt the urge/need to cut myself since, so far so good :)
I'm starting to believe that, like so many others, I too can overcome this. :)
 
While I can agree that using ice cubes or rubber bands are better alternatives to cutting or burning, I think its just like replacing one evil for another. I've been reading a bit on cutting, most specficially about this program called S.A.F.E. that helps specifically cutters. They make a good point. They say that most of their patients cut in order to deal with intense emotions. We use it as a release. We use these actions. I know that is the way it is for me. So we get it into our heads that in order to release these emotions, we have to do something. Be it cut, or smack that rubber band around. Either way it is still an action. but in reality its ok to feel emotions. Emotions can be dealt with without having to take actions. You can stop yourself from taking that action if you sit and stop and think before you do anything. Once you realize that it is ok to be mad, or sad, or whatever you are feeling, you can take that step towards stopping the self punishment.

I know for me I would always cut right after a fight with my S.O. In the past we would get into these heated arguments, I would get all worked up, to the point were I felt like I would explode, so I would cut. I would feel better i guess, I wouldnt feel so agitated anymore, that would be replaced with guilt, or disappointment in myself, or self loathing for succumbing to that act. but the intense anger would be gone. Well I havent cut for months, but i also havent really been fighting with anyone either. So I guess I really didnt have much reason to cut. But last week I found myself in an argument again. It was just like the past repeating itself. We hung up. I was left feeling really angry and upset. I was lieing in bed and I got up to grab my knife, just like I used to, just like a habit. But I stopped. I just stopped and breathed. Counted to ten. Eventually my anger subsided. I didnt need to cut to deal with it, I didnt need to take any action to get it to go away. I simply let myself breathe and feel it. so instead of focusing on feeling guilty or disappointed in myself like I normally would after cutting, i got the chance to dissect why I was really mad. When did I do, what did he do, what should we do in the future... Instead of being disappointed, I feel like I've made progress.

I guess my point is that feelings are ok, and dont necessary need to warrent an action to deal with them. granted this recovery will be a long process. It's doable. It's just a matter of choice.

good luck to everyone.


Stay SAFE.
 
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^^ Wow hun, your post made SO much sense. Thank you so much for sharing that info. <3

I started cutting myself when I was a confused teenager, just starting to deal with emotions such as love and sadness, and learning to deal with my depression. I stopped cutting when my new boyfriend told me that he would cut HIMself if I ever cut myself again. Needless to say I merely transferred the cutting to other self-destructive acts such as alcoholism and drug use.

Fast forward about 7 years later to now, and I'm with my current boyfriend (who, by the way, is an amazing man and I love him very much, he is always there for me and helps me through all the horrible things I do to myself).
In the past 5 years I've gone through numerous periods of self-destructive behaviour such as eating disorders, various forms of self-harm, drug abuse, alcoholism, all culminating from my inability to accept and deal with strong emotions.

Now, I'm healing, and I need to learn to accept my emotions and deal with them in healthy, "normal" ways.
 
Just throw them out PT, just do it. You know you can. Throw them away so you have no option to cut yourself. You don't need to cut anyway, you're doing so well without it.
 
hmm why dont people just cut other people instead themselves, thats what i would do... my gf says she cuts to feel but i dont get how i can make her quit i've told her everything..
 
comptonking, it's really hard to quit cutting, your gf needs help if she can't quit on her own.
Cutting comes about by not being able to cope with your emotions inside. She needs help in being able to better deal with anger, sadness, frustration etc. Does she see a counsellor or psych or anyone like that? If not, she should. It's the only way I've been able to stop cutting.
 
i havnt posted in here before but i think i might...i havnt read many of the other posts but ill just give a little of my story, or a little of where ive been..

i can never remember the full reason or what i was thinking at the time of the incidents but i just remember that i felt so terrible and angry and upset and every other feeling im sure you all understand that i just had to attack myself, because nothing else was 'satisfying' if thats a word i may use to describe the letting out of tension...

ive never actually 'cut' myself, i dont think i could ever bring myself to that but in a similar way the harming of myself where i scratched parts of my arm and top of my leg until it burnt and the top layer(s) of skin were gone (i hope my boyfriend doesnt read this because he is a BL-er as well eeek, although its never had anything to do with him when its happened and ive only ever come close once since ive been with him, though that wasnt his fault either, and hes seen the scars im pretty sure but they happened before i was with him ANYWAYS....)

it just became the scratching right down until the burning sensation settled in and i felt a little better, i did it in the shower mostly because i could feel the pain but coudlnt feel my finger nails on my skin.. arrgh i dont even know why im writing in here :S my mum saw one of the long aftermath scabs on the middle of my forearm one day when i went into the doctor for a CT scan for something else and i saw the nurse look at me funny when she inserted the cannula under my skin and hoped to god my mum wouldnt see it, but as we went out and we were waiting for something else she caught a glimpse of it and asked so many questions which resulted in her thinking i had some sort of psychosis and ordered me to a counsellor, which wasnt the worst of things, it helped but i just wanted her to forget she saw it and leave me alone (i know she was only looking out for me and everything also but hmm)

i know people know that they're not alone in this because there are so many people who post in this thread but i just felt the need to write here...gahh thats the end of my rant.
 
It's okay hun, sometimes you need to rant in order to feel better <3

And yep, what you were doing was definitely a form of self-harm, just like cutting is. I hope you never feel like you need to do it again. And if you DO feel the overwhelming anger/sadness/frustration/helplessness, TALK to someone about it, don't take it out on yourself. You're way too gorgeous to scar yourself hun <3

I hope you feel better after posting your story on here <3

And you know where to find me if you need to talk to someone! :)
 
thanks so much n3o :) i knowww...we've had good little chats when ive been feeling poo hehe

ive been feeling goood lately...its all that serotonin, more so lack of lately that does my head in, but im coping much better this week than i was the other week when i spoke to you...just trying to keep myself occupied because its when i sit at home alone with no one to talk to i start to become anxious and what not..

hope everyone is having a good day so far :)
 
comptonking said:
hmm why dont people just cut other people instead themselves, thats what i would do... my gf says she cuts to feel but i dont get how i can make her quit i've told her everything..
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because it comes from a pain that resides inside...Something that can't be cured by 'cutting someone else'...It could be a self stemming thing IE. as an autistic child banging there head on the wall to cope with overwhelming things...Then again it could be intense numbness that she's trying to deal with...I know for myself I SI for both of those reasons...Be kind to her and yourself...Take care...<3
 
How long had it been since you cut last Raz??
Remember to try to not beat yourself up about it, it only makes the whole thing worse <3
 
nah, its not 'who cares?' - we care even if 'he' doesnt.....and who gives a fuck if he does? its about u caring for urself hun
just pick up where u left off and look after urself <3
 
xxi135 said:
I relasped again. Big time. Prob need stitches. but who cares? he certainly doesnt.
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Oh honey *hugs*
I know exactly how you feel at the moment.
Just look after yourself okay?? If it needs stitches, go and get stitches.
Please take care <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
How long had it been since you cut last Raz??
Remember to try to not beat yourself up about it, it only makes the whole thing worse <3
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It's been a couple of years...I couldn't handle going to work today so I stayed home and next thing I knew I was cutting up my arms.. :(

I tried calling counsellor services and stuff all day, but couldn't get through to anyone so eventually I just went back to bed and slept, and now I feel miserable still but at least the edge is off it... :\
 
Raz said:
It's been a couple of years...I couldn't handle going to work today so I stayed home and next thing I knew I was cutting up my arms.. :(

I tried calling counsellor services and stuff all day, but couldn't get through to anyone so eventually I just went back to bed and slept, and now I feel miserable still but at least the edge is off it... :\
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Wow that's so bad that you couldn't get through to anyone. What are those services there for if you can't even get through when you need it the most??
Just because you have cut this time, doesn't mean you need to fall back in to the routine of doing it okay?? Try to distract yourself next time you feel the urge. You lasted years before, so you know you can refrain from doing it <3
 
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