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Could you date a non drug-user?

I’m dating a non-drug user and she was also anti drug when we met but now she has a different perspective (well a little) She understands my lifestyle and accepts it but hates when I smoke weed. She has asked me to not smoke weed around her and I said that was a reasonable request (not like she’s asked me to give it up completely) she just hates the smell and says I’m ‘different’ on it (well duh, I’m stoned) but it’s caused some problems… although I’m not an every day weed smoker …. Actually it has increased since I got a weed smoking flattie and her boyfriend…

Hrmmm sorry rambling… stoned
 
In answer to the original question...yes.

But I suppose that's because I'm not a drug user in any real sense of the word. I don't smoke (tobacco or weed) and I only ever drink rarely, and only at social occasions.

Which gives rise to the question...could I date a drug user? I don't know. I suppose if it were healthy use, and the purpose of the drug use was purely for a bit of fun every now and again, then I'm sure I could handle it. But I'm not too confident that I'd gel with someone who's always off their face on something...
 
I'm not sure. I've been going out with a girl for over a year now and at the start she was anti-drugs but after a few months of seeing me use and listening to me talk about them she gave them a try, starting with E. These days she's as much of a wreckhead as I am. Something that always makes me smile though is that the first night I met her (and went for a walk until 5am the next day) I had a 500ml can of GBL in my pocket :D
 
my current partner is a non-user as in never has used.

its brought some sanity back to my life...:\

those who say "it expands your mind", and all that shit are probably doing it to increase the size of their pea brain.
 
kittyinthedark said:
And phrozen, smoking pot daily != addict. There's a BIG difference between a habitual user and an addict. I went from smoking multiple times daily to not smoking AT ALL when I started college with no problem whatsoever. I wouldn't say I had an addiction, would you?
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sounds like someone in denial. at one moment saying "daily is an addict", then saying, "i smoked multiple times a day and stopped..." "you wouldnt say that that is an addiction, would you ?"

oh, most definitly not. darlin...;)
 
this is a bit weird i guess, especially since i haven't been a drug user (besides alcohol) for a quite a while now, but i think i'd rather date a drug user (not an addict though) or an ex drug user than i would a non drug user. people who are completely against drugs, and have never tried the stuff tend to not be on my wave length. as in, i consider a lot of my beliefs and social and political views to be left-of-centre, and therefore usually tend to find more common ground with drug users than non drug users.
 
I guess I could, but don't think I would again.

I have done and it was great but occasionally, when the two overlapped, like her calling round as a trip is winding down, the strangeness came between us.

Tried to explain, justify, to make her see

But no.

The bitch.
 
No.

Drugs are too big a part of my life to do in isolation. My bf and I used to smoke ice and take speed together frequently, it's something that we'd both look forward to and thoroughly enjoy. Now he's cut down his use drastically, and is trying to take the moral high ground with me, telling me that i have to stop using soon or i'll lose him. He wants to keep drugs for once in a blue moon occasions. I totally resent this - i don't like being pressured into changing for someone else. It's putting a massive strain on our relationship.

I recently started hanging out with a guy from work, we had the hots for each other for awhile and we mulled over the possiblility of dating. I introduced him to speed - previously he'd only smoked pot and chromed. We did it together a few times and then he didn't want to do it anymore. I'd go over to his apartment and sit there chasing the dragon, while he'd sit there and stare disaprovingly at me, making comments like "you know, you're above all of this". It gave me the shits, and I don't really enjoy using alone. Further, my drug use affects my sleeping, eating, behaviour etc and this is something that many non-drug users would find it hard to understand/deal with.
 
hell yes I could date a non-drug user...

as a matter of fact, if I was gonna be in a serious relationship it would HAVE to be with someone who didn't use drugs on a regular basis..

I don't wanna date a fuckin weed head, a meth junkie, or someone dealing with a Heroin addiction.. fuck that.. I want a female who respects herself and her body, takes good care of herself. If you are doing copius amounts of drugs (including alcohol) then you're not taking care of your body.. and there's a good chance your head is not on straight either.

now i'm not against drugs, I used to smoke weed every day for several years.. but when it comes to picking a lady I want someone who is classy, good head on her shoulders and takes good care of herself and is a dime.. damn fellas.. if you guys can't dig that then there's somethin wrong with you!!!
 
That's probably one of the most ignorant things I've read on this forum and the reason why this topic exists in the first place. Just because a woman is a drug user it doesn't make her any less classy or intelligent than a lady who doesn't. While it might not necessarily be as good for your body as not taking anything, you'll find the same number of drug users will eat correctly, partake in regular exercise, etc in just the same way as non users. To label drug users as insane is a very stereotypical view and not something I'd expect from someone who has experience in the field. If you had mental issues that wasn't helped by the weed then thats something you need to deal with, but don't go thinking everyone is the same.

And theres a big difference between a casual drug user and a meth junkie.
 
you need to check yourself Gavin. nothin I said was ignorant, jus the truth. I think what's ignorant are all you punks saying you couldn't even date someone who wasn't a drug user-- that's pathetic. it's just sad. not even able to maintain a relationship with somebody jus because they decided to abstain from drugs/alcohol?? this whole post is a joke.


I also have no problem with dating people who use drugs-- most of the females I have dated have used drugs/alcho, and this one girl I have my eye on now up here at school also does (I even have 420 in my friggin' name, so what does that tell you?).. all I said was if I was gonna get into a serious relationship with a female (or if it's gonna be the women I wife up) I'd prefer her to NOT use drugs-- and all my reasons were valid.

and your point about "blah blah drug users eat correctly and exercise"-- yea no shit sherlock.. I'm aware there are some *casual* drug users who are health conscience.. all I stated was that if you are doing *copious* (if you don't know what that word means look it up) amounts of drugs, as in every single day, you aren't taking good care of yourself physically. nothing false about that statement.

also I never used the word 'insane' once in my post to describe drug users, so don't put fuckin words in my mouth, punk.. all I stated was there's a *higher chance* that they don't have their head on right if they are using alot of drugs. once again, NOTHING false about that statement.
 
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It's all 'what if's' really isn't it? That post basically said you didn't want a relationship with a drug user since they don't take care of themselves and their head most likely wouldn't be screwed on correctly, which I changed to insane (naughty me), at least that's what it said to me. If you meant differently then I apologise. You are of course entitled to date who you wish, it was just more the 'Drug user's are losers' attitude I got from your post which got to me a bit. In the same way, anyone in this topic is entitled to date who they wish and calling them pathetic is unnecessary.

Now, since I feel the need I'm going to backup my reasons as to why I wouldn't date a non user. Now, I've never actually dated a non user myself but I have many friends who have and it always leads to the same situation. Quite simply, a non drug using partner will more often than not hold it against you and regularly take digs at your drug use. Now, I don't know about yourself but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was constantly taking digs at me about something which I chose to partake in, even if they weren't directly asking me to stop. I'm not saying all relationships would necessarily be like this, but in my experience (and after all, personal experiences are what we base our entire viewpoints on) it would lead to confrontation and an unnecessary confrontation IMO. I can respect someones decision to not take drugs since it's their choice but I wouldn't want anyone, particularly my own partner looking down on my decisions either. I don't particularly agree with the whole 'a non drug user doesn't have the same experiences as a drug user mentality though, although I can understand why people would want to experience a number of drugs with their partner.

Theres nothing wrong with either viewpoint and both are valid, it's just a bit insulting when you basically say non drug users are more classy than drug users, which simply isn't true.

And drop the whole 'punk' thing please. We're all adults here and it's totally unnecessary.
 
dan420 said:
you need to check yourself Gavin. nothin I said was ignorant, jus the truth. I think what's ignorant are all you punks saying you couldn't even date someone who wasn't a drug user-- that's pathetic. it's just sad. not even able to maintain a relationship with somebody jus because they decided to abstain from drugs/alcohol?? this whole post is a joke.
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You do not understand do you? Non drug users look down on drug users most of the time, this is why i asked the question.

dan420 said:
I also have no problem with dating people who use drugs-- most of the females I have dated have used drugs/alcho, and this one girl I have my eye on now up here at school also does (I even have 420 in my friggin' name, so what does that tell you?).. all I said was if I was gonna get into a serious relationship with a female (or if it's gonna be the women I wife up) I'd prefer her to NOT use drugs-- and all my reasons were valid.
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That's fine. I would prefer to share my experiences with my partner, though. if you could live with someone judging you all the time for doing drugs, then fair enough, i couldn't though as our mindsets would be on completely different levels.

dan420 said:
and your point about "blah blah drug users eat correctly and exercise"-- yea no shit sherlock.. I'm aware there are some *casual* drug users who are health conscience.. all I stated was that if you are doing *copious* (if you don't know what that word means look it up) amounts of drugs, as in every single day, you aren't taking good care of yourself physically. nothing false about that statement.

also I never used the word 'insane' once in my post to describe drug users, so don't put fuckin words in my mouth, punk.. all I stated was there's a *higher chance* that they don't have their head on right if they are using alot of drugs. once again, NOTHING false about that statement.
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Would you stop being so sensitive and get back on topic? Thanks.
 
dan420 said:
hell yes I could date a non-drug user...

as a matter of fact, if I was gonna be in a serious relationship it would HAVE to be with someone who didn't use drugs on a regular basis..

I don't wanna date a fuckin weed head, a meth junkie, or someone dealing with a Heroin addiction.. fuck that.. I want a female who respects herself and her body, takes good care of herself. If you are doing copius amounts of drugs (including alcohol) then you're not taking care of your body.. and there's a good chance your head is not on straight either.

now i'm not against drugs, I used to smoke weed every day for several years.. but when it comes to picking a lady I want someone who is classy, good head on her shoulders and takes good care of herself and is a dime.. damn fellas.. if you guys can't dig that then there's somethin wrong with you!!!
Click to expand...

Wait, you've just insulted every woman who uses drugs by saying women who use drugs are not classy? Haha, I think you've been smoking to much weed man.As for your last sentence, just because not everyone thinks like you does that mean there's something wrong with them? That's pretty fucking ignorant to me tbh.
 
Gavin83 said:
It's all 'what if's' really isn't it? That post basically said you didn't want a relationship with a drug user since they don't take care of themselves and their head most likely wouldn't be screwed on correctly, which I changed to insane (naughty me), at least that's what it said to me. If you meant differently then I apologise. You are of course entitled to date who you wish, it was just more the 'Drug user's are losers' attitude I got from your post which got to me a bit. In the same way, anyone in this topic is entitled to date who they wish and calling them pathetic is unnecessary.

Now, since I feel the need I'm going to backup my reasons as to why I wouldn't date a non user. Now, I've never actually dated a non user myself but I have many friends who have and it always leads to the same situation. Quite simply, a non drug using partner will more often than not hold it against you and regularly take digs at your drug use. Now, I don't know about yourself but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was constantly taking digs at me about something which I chose to partake in, even if they weren't directly asking me to stop. I'm not saying all relationships would necessarily be like this, but in my experience (and after all, personal experiences are what we base our entire viewpoints on) it would lead to confrontation and an unnecessary confrontation IMO. I can respect someones decision to not take drugs since it's their choice but I wouldn't want anyone, particularly my own partner looking down on my decisions either. I don't particularly agree with the whole 'a non drug user doesn't have the same experiences as a drug user mentality though, although I can understand why people would want to experience a number of drugs with their partner.

Theres nothing wrong with either viewpoint and both are valid, it's just a bit insulting when you basically say non drug users are more classy than drug users, which simply isn't true.

And drop the whole 'punk' thing please. We're all adults here and it's totally unnecessary.
Click to expand...

Great post. Just needed to quote it for that reason. :)
 
sure, i could date a non drug user. i know a few girls who dont do it themselves, but are totally open to the fact that its my choice. they know they cant stop me and just accept it, and encourage safe and responsible use. i can still share my drug bender stories with them and they will laugh and discuss but wouldnt use themselves, and this would work well i feel.

i could also date someone who was anti-drug, however it just wouldnt work. (ive tried it) - i get frustrated because i cant discuss my drug related experiences with them, and there is always also a feeling of dishonesty because i know that i am lying to them. (i deny use)

my dream girl, however, and i am yet to find anybody who even comes close to fitting the bill, would be a girl like me. one who uses drugs, both soft and hard drugs like codeine lsd and mdma, but knows what she is doing and makes sure she is the smartest user she can possibly be. (NOT just open to using drugs but actually knowing exactly what she is doing and making the most of it.) i suspect if i ever met a girl like this who liked me and didnt look something like shrek, i would be head over heels. this is probably also because i dont even have any close male friends who enjoy drugs as much as i do. most of them use occaisionally, but i have a true passion :P
 
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