• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Could you date a non drug-user?

Coolio said:
Gavin, we're talking about dating here, not being around someone... I can be around just about anyone, I'm very tolerant, but to date someone who didn't wish to participate in what I consider to be a fundamental part of being human wouldn't work for me.
Click to expand...

Fair enough. I see your viewpoint.
 
drugs are not that important, unless you make them so.

i partake in a little somethin every six or so months and don't mind if my wife doesn't want to join me.

i'm with sickpuppy re: sobriety. it rocks
 
i hope i didn't answer this already but i am too lazy to look through pages of posts.

first off, i just have to say that love can be worse than drugs, at least for some people. i have seen people become completely irrational because of it. i know through my first couple of loves that i did more stupid shit because of love than i have ever done as a result of loss of judgment from drugs (except for ambien.) perhaps that is a bit beside the point (since drug use can be indicative of issues other than loss of judgment, eg escapism.)

i could be with a person who was currently not using drugs but who had used them in the past or would experiment with them in the future but not someone flat out opposed. one reason for that, i think, is that i can really only click with people who are open to new experiences (and ideas.) sure, drug use isn't the sole predictor of how open one is to new experiences, but it is hard for me to believe that someone who is truly open to new experiences has never/would never try drugs, if only a couple times.

a couple people on here have said something like 'people who don't do drugs aren't missing out on introspection, life experiences, etc,' but, for me, it is much more about having whatever personality factors predispose peoplet experimenting rather than the impact that experimentation has on the person.

also, i would find it very difficult be with someone who didn't believe in legalization simply because i'm extremely libertarian, but it wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker.

dating an addict is a different story. i did date one on and off for a long time, and it was like pouring gas on the fire, but many beautiful things came out of it nonetheless. it was actually a situation in which i think he was more addicted to being in love than to drugs, interestingly. in my experience, once a person is very far into addiction, the addiction usurps a person's ability to make choices that don't hurt the people they love (different point for everyone, of course), which is what makes being with an addict so fucking hard. however, i would probably do it again.
 
well in my case they definitely are since i don't really date at all, but i still manage to fall in love

however, don't people date in the hopes of falling in love?
 
I know im the odd one out here, especially on bluelight but i have a certain respect for people who havent chosen to experiment with drugs.
Have been around it, had the option, dont judge other peoples decisions, taken an interest but their choice is to not do it.
I for one think its harder to not go down that path in todays society.
I also find people who have made that choice have good reasons for doing so.

I dont regret my drug taking or am going to stop anytime soon but if i meet someone, whom i click with and he doesnt do drugs, im going to give it a shot.

If your a good person, your a good person. Experimenting with drugs doesnt have much to do with that.

i know im prolly gunna get flamed for that opionion too hehe
 
^ Makes a lot of sense. One of my best friends growing up and still today has never done anything but drink.. same with the girl I'm with now. Both are great people. =)
 
dan420 said:
I think what's ignorant are all you punks saying you couldn't even date someone who wasn't a drug user-- that's pathetic.
Click to expand...

Perhaps some of us fear rejection if they were to find out and perhaps we fear our influence may lead them down the wrong path. Is it that pathetic to protect ourselves from being hurt or hurting another?

trancegirle said:
I know im the odd one out here, especially on bluelight but i have a certain respect for people who havent chosen to experiment with drugs.
Click to expand...

I say god bless every single one of them for being able to deal with the pressure of todays world and society without chemicals.
 
Hmm...Im pretty sure Id ONLY wanna date a non drug user....
Well...probably not someone who is an anti-drug activist or anything, just someone who doesnt really do anything.
Id prefer someone who wouldnt be against (Im talking once every few years or less) the very occasional shroom trip or doing some e if the rare opportunity fell into our hands, but if they didnt want to that would be okay too.
I dont do drugs, but wouldnt be against something fun on a special occasion.

That said, Id still prefer someone who was kinda uptight about it to someone who had addict potential. I cant stand addicts, in ANY form, especially potheads and I wont even be around anyone who does anything harder than pot. Ive been through way to much hell in my life with addiction and drugs to have it around me now.
 
doofqueen said:
^^ so what are you doing on BL then?

and are you saying that people who use drugs don't focus on feeling good from the relationship they are in but the drugs they are taking?
Click to expand...

I like bluelight because there are some cool and interesting people on here - whether they take drugs or not really isn't relevant to me. I don't expect to meet any of you in real life - but if I did, I would judge you ONLY on the strength and content of your character - not purely because you use drugs or not.

(about the second point) Not on it's own - there's more to it.

I respect other's freedom to take drugs as adults. Don't get me wrong.

It's just that I've reached a point of contentment in my life, where I don't feel the need to take drugs for any reason.

I consider the 'best case' sceneario is where a person has no motive to take drugs, as they already get their fill of pleasing feelings from other means - like sport, freindship, relationships, working toward their dreams etc etc.

The more they focus on these things, IMO, the better off they are.

I get a gut-feeling that's the best example I could set for my kids, if I'm ever fortunate enough to have some.
 
Last edited:
trancegirle said:
I know im the odd one out here, especially on bluelight but i have a certain respect for people who havent chosen to experiment with drugs.
Have been around it, had the option, dont judge other peoples decisions, taken an interest but their choice is to not do it.
I for one think its harder to not go down that path in todays society.
I also find people who have made that choice have good reasons for doing so.

I dont regret my drug taking or am going to stop anytime soon but if i meet someone, whom i click with and he doesnt do drugs, im going to give it a shot.

If your a good person, your a good person. Experimenting with drugs doesnt have much to do with that.

i know im prolly gunna get flamed for that opionion too hehe
Click to expand...

i don't think it would be right for anyone to flame you for that.

i also don't think the issue is being a "good" person or not. certainly most people want to be with someone they deem "good" (which is purely subjective anyway) but that's not a very specific or objective criterion.

i wonder how much correlation there is between age and whether or not one would date a non-drug user. i would posit that the older one is, the more likely they are to be willing to or even want to date a non-drug user. i'm twenty one, and i could see myself wanting to date a non-user down the road, perhaps.
 
^
so are you equating "good" and non-self-destructive (it seems like you're not, but the first sentence is confusing in that regard.)

"good" is frankly way too subjective to ever make generalizations about, in my opinion.
 
Well, I am currently dating someone who is straight-edge in order to cleanse his system because he has an illness. He used to be a wild and crazy raver, did everything and anything, but now he has to focus on being healthy. I think he will actually be a good influence on me as I think I have the tendency to be a lush so its nice to be around someone who doesn't imbibe at all. He doesn't even consume caffiene! (my one addiction)

He's still a really high energy dancer when we go out and about; and can be pretty loud and boisterous when he wants to be. This relationship is brand new and it seems to be going fairly well right now. I smoked a few bowls in front of him and he seems to be tolerant of that; which was one of my main concerns.

Its nice to be with someone who doesn't have the desire to screw his mind and body (previous folks I have dated; ie dropping lots and lots of acid nearly every weekend, drinking excessively, etc.)
 
Dyno_oz said:
I like bluelight because there are some cool and interesting people on here - whether they take drugs or not really isn't relevant to me. I would judge you ONLY on the strength and content of your character - not purely because you use drugs or not.

I consider the 'best case' sceneario is where a person has no motive to take drugs, as they already get their fill of pleasing feelings from other means - like sport, freindship, relationships, working toward their dreams etc etc.

The more they focus on these things, IMO, the better off they are.

I get a gut-feeling that's the best example I could set for my kids, if I'm ever fortunate enough to have some.
Click to expand...
^^I 100% agree:)
rashandreflex said:
i also don't think the issue is being a "good" person or not. certainly most people want to be with someone they deem "good" (which is purely subjective anyway) but that's not a very specific or objective criterion.

i wonder how much correlation there is between age and whether or not one would date a non-drug user. i would posit that the older one is, the more likely they are to be willing to or even want to date a non-drug user. i'm twenty one, and i could see myself wanting to date a non-user down the road, perhaps.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah true, good is far too broad a term. I didnt mean it to be taken literally as such:) I more meant im not going to base my opinion of someone by putting them into category of drug user or non-drug user.

I also agree with the older/more mature you get, your perspective changes. I can definently see my priority's changing.
The things that used to really matter to me when i was 17, now seem very insignificant.
Im only 20 but at the moment my main priority isnt exactly going out & getting fucked up (not that im generalizing again). Its just that other things are more important to me now. I enjoy drugs but i dont want them to be my lifestyle.

It means more to me to get to know someone without mentioning drugs rather that talking about drugs and having that be a common interests. It really bores me people that only talk about drugs.
 
I won't date anyone whose ever really been into drugs, as I prefer to ween them onto them myself ;)

Jokes aside, there's just something about someone who hasn't ever had the need to heavily abuse mind altering substances (alcohol included) that I find appealing and easier to understand. Not to mention that not much positive (from a partners perspective) can come with regular/heavy drug use.
 
It's like when I was younger, I knew a lot of wild people but nowadays, I feel it's wholesome to be mainly around others who are going to be a healthy influence on me. I also like the fact that my partner is tolerant and not preachy; he's a source of stability in my life. I'm glad he doesn't use drugs but I'm also glad that he isn't judgmental of those who do.
 
^ I only wish those types of people were more common than they're. The thing is about being with a non-user is what if example, you're on E and you just want to share it with them? If they aren't open to trying something like E then i'm not sure I would want to take it any further. It can really open up the relationship to a new level, imo! Aslong as it isn't abused, ofcourse....
 
it would be hard for me to date someone who is 'anti-drugs' for the reasons that tv commercials tell them, ie ignorant/uninformed. If they were non-users but respected my opinon then thats fine. i dont do drugs that much and i do so 'safely' as encouraged on this forum, if they were trying to change me or giving me shit about my use then i couldnt date someone like that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top