Conversations with My Guardian Angels

[Erikmen]

That's like saying the world is chaotic to ethically justify an act of "chaos": it's pretty flimsy.



Yeah, but the people on this board who are telling you that (your many posts / threads about being an angel and a re-incarnation of various significant historical figures are egotistical) are humans... So maybe what you're doing is "bad" ego-projection (whatever the hell that means)?

You post a lot of stuff about yourself... More than anyone else on P&S, it seems... I don't really see anyone else here making threads about themselves, let alone making multiple threads about themselves in which they describe themselves as - essentially - heroes and Gods.



Maybe you're not more special than the rest of us... you know?
Being enlightened, in part, is accepting that you are "one" with the world.
You seem to expend a fair bit of energy convincing yourself otherwise.



Agreed.

This

 

[Ninae]

I do feel "at one" with the world when I post things like that so I expect they will accept everything like I would from anyone else in that state. That's part of the problem. I wouldn't post somethng like that now as I'm not in an elevated mood where I just expect the best possible outcome.

 

[socko]

Yes, it applies to superior people.

I don't know if it's obvious to everyone, but superior people tend to be superior only in one thing. Take the Noble Prize winner Kary Mullis. He invented PCR which was a great contribution to humanity. After winning the noble prize, he became guilty of all the things you bolded in your post. He has a high IQ and knows chemistry fairly well, but doesn't have a klew about anything else in the world. His education and knowledge and wordview is too specialized and completely unbalanced. then he went on to claim that HIV does not cause AIDS. Gaysex is what really causes AIDS, he went on to claim. "Molecules (like HIV) are mostly hypothetical." He believes everybody should believe this and other crazy claims he makes because he has a high IQ and won a Noble Prize. He has the reputation of being a dick, and the scientific community hates him. There are many more examples.

 

[ForEverAfter]

^Totally agree.

I don't idolize people, regardless of their accomplishments as chemists or artists or whatever. It's ignorant to categorize the human race into people with value and people without value. Every person has a part to play, whether or not their part is as clear as others is the only consideration. (We can recognize certain concrete contributions from individuals, while others go unnoticed.)

Einstein is generally regarded to be a great man and one of the smartest individuals to ever live, yet his contributions to science have directly lead to the development of weaponry... If Jesus was a real man, his contributions to philosophy and spirituality have lead to terrible events... It's impossible to know what will happen in the long-run; how these events will actually play out...

Some people's functions are so obscure, I believe, that their "accomplishments" are basically butterfly effect events that we cannot and will not ever understand... I guess we believe that this person is great and that person isn't because we are limited in terms of what we can see...

In the end, we are all just grains of sand.

I do feel "at one" with the world when I post things like that so I expect they will accept everything like I would from anyone else in that state. That's part of the problem. I wouldn't post somethng like that now as I'm not in an elevated mood where I just expect the best possible outcome.

First of all, your oneness is selective. You feel more at one with angels, celebrities and historical figures... Really, you are just as connected to them as you are to a cockroach... But you disconnect yourself from the harsh realities of the world and the misdeeds of others, in order to connect yourself with the pious / the divine / the beautiful..

Secondly, you get upset when people don't totally accept what you're saying but you don't live up to your own supposed standards of open-mindedness. Only when it applies to you. I've seen it, time after time. You disagree with - and outright mock - other people's belief systems, then you turn around and act like it's some great injustice when the same thing happens to you.

Third: the elevated mood you're describing - where you expect the best possible outcome - sounds like an ego trip to me... Maybe you have yourself so convinced that you're an angel, that it is inconceivable - to you - that someone might react negatively to the (repeated) suggestion... But the truth is you're not an angel any more than anyone else is and the more you convince yourself otherwise, the more you distance yourself from humanity... which brings us, full circle, back to the oneness comment I made earlier..

 

[Ninae]

I don't know why there's such a need to argue this so much. I said it was never meant to be taken that seriously and more as a curiousity.

I can know some things that are true in my own mind but that doesn't mean anyone else will. Maybe you missed when I said I believe at least one in a hundred are from that background, which means a percentage of those reading this is likely to be, and that it also includes most of my close family so how special can I be?

But I really don't care if anyone believes it or not, it was just meant for those who would find it interesting, like I always have done. There's no need for you to read it.

 

[ForEverAfter]

Maybe you missed when I said I believe at least one in a hundred are from that background, which means a percentage of those reading this is likely to be, and that it also includes most of my close family so how special can I be?

If you made a thread about how you were in the top percentile of intelligence or physical attractiveness, I'd have the same reaction... You're still boasting by saying that you (and your family) are "better than" 99 / 100 people.

I don't know why there's such a need to argue this so much. I said it was never meant to be taken that seriously and more as a curiousity.

Inserting your patented "this isn't meant to be taken seriously" disclaimer doesn't negate or invalidate forum reactions... It's just something that you say, after the fact, to discredit any resulting criticisms / unwanted responses...

By "need to argue", you're suggesting that there's something wrong with the reaction.
Like, you're doing something perfectly innocent and it (this) isn't fair.
Well, some of what you post downright annoys me.
Clearly it bothers other people on this forum, also.

You can either decide that we're all crazy or, perhaps, consider that there's something to be learnt here.

But I really don't care if anyone believes it or not, it was just meant for those who would find it interesting, like I always have done. There's no need for you to read it.

You make threads and then you bump them, endlessly, until you get a reaction.
Pretty much the only reactions that you're getting are negative.
So, maybe, you should rethink your strategy?
Unless - of course - you want negativity?

I don't have to read your stuff, no, but if everyone did what you did (make multiple personal threads at a time and shamelessly bump them until they get attention) P&S would be (even more) overloaded with self-obsession and ego ramblings...

You insist that you post this stuff for people who find it interesting, but - really - I think you're posting for yourself.

As somebody else said on this thread, people are genuinely concerned about you.
Maybe this is all a cry for help - I honestly suspect so - but, you refuse help.
Your threads rarely, if ever, develop into interesting discussions.
They end up, most of the time, like this.
And according to you it's our fault...
Even though you're making the threads?

You come across, to me, as quite lost/confused...
And I don't want to enable that any further (for your sake).

 

[turkalurk]

I don't feel terrorised by this place. I meant by life in general. I've almost died of stress too many times in the past few years, and to make it even worse everyone thinks it's a good idea to stress me as much as possible so I never get any peace. The hospital admissions have also been a real strain.

I'm not sure if people are aware I have regular manic episodes and when I do I just want to share everything with everyone and think they will find anything I have to say interesting. Even though they don't, but at least it tends to be entertaining, and that's the main thing of this board. I actually forget most of what I say as I also tend to write stuff like that when I have spiritual peak experiences and your brain doesn't store it too well. Anyway, most are more than used to me by now.

But I think everyone are taking this thread far too seriously. It's not like I was expecting people to believe in it just like that. I just thought it was intersting when I read it through again, that was a few years ago now.

oh shit, you are really bipolar. I am such a dick, sometimes, I'm sorry. I have ADD; very little filter.

 

[ForEverAfter]

Regardless of whether or not you are bipolar, you can't expect people to treat you differently.

everyone thinks it's a good idea to stress me as much as possible so I never get any peace

That is not fair. This is a public forum... If you can't handle the reactions that your threads create, maybe you should take a break from creating threads. It doesn't do you any good for the world to bend reality in order to cater for your sensitivities... and it's an unrealistic expectation.

 

[Ninae]

I don't know if everyone knows what manic really means. It means you can lose all self-control and don't relate to others on the level they relate to you as long as it's going on (this can actually be a lot of fun when you interact with other manics as it just seems normal).

Being on an ego-trip can be a part of it, but it can also be just a small part of it, and there can be a lot of other stuff going on. Like a strong sense of love and empathy, desire to share, and openness to spiritual energy and inspiration (which you also want to share). Although the sense of memory-loss can be a problem.

If I saw someone like that I wouldn't necessarily take the ego-part of it offensive, I might simply focus on the rest of it. But watching others attempts at ego-projection tend to amuse me, anyway, as it can be quite fun/entertaining and I just don't take it that seriously. To be honest, things would become very annoying if it bothered you that much, and there's always some ego-investment in everything we do anyway. So I just assumed more would see it the same way and think all this judgement is a bit unnecessary.

 

[socko]

...I meant by life in general. I've almost died of stress too many times in the past few years, and to make it even worse everyone thinks it's a good idea to stress me as much as possible so I never get any peace. The hospital admissions have also been a real strain.

I think I understand you. Extreme stress sucks. How do you personally cope with stress? Writing about it, describing your experiences on bluelight is one way, right? How about in real life? Do you have close friends or family you trust enough to talk to when things get bad? Or does the manic phase freak people out and drive them away?

 

[ForEverAfter]

You're not manic, presumably, when you're responding to people's comments.
There is still something to be learnt, here, if you allow yourself.

Don't allow diagnosis to utterly prevent growth; between manic episodes, you can learn: to argue otherwise is to use your condition as a get out of jail free card that allows you to behave in any way you see fit.

You never mentioned mania until this thread.
It does explain a bit...

Are you bipolar? (mania is a symptom of other conditions, also)
Are you medicated?

 

[turkalurk]

I think most people who talks to ninae about her angelic side is also a bit worried. its damaging for her to think that way. its wrong in so many ways that its fine if people doesn't accept her interpretation and fantasy about who and what she is.

Its only the ego struggling to define itself, trying to reinforce itself. There no doubt that we, ourself, are only a idea. a mental formation. there's no me, no I. We don't own the self as there no such reality of a self: only consciousness. no one owning the thoughts we have, no one owning sense contact. yet we believe there is a owner and so we struggle to find a self and try to support it anyway we can. truth is, there no self, no owner, no entity and as long as we believe in the self, we create tremendous amount of stress.

take 7g of shrooms and come back with how angelic you are. we all also have serious demons inside and to think she is a angel is nothing else but a ego support. there no reality to it.


ego support imo

I don't know about your self, but my self exists within myself. My subjective reality is real, but what I perceive only resembles the actuality of an object based on the limited characteristics it can sense. Consciousness can only paint a portrait of reality. Doesn't mean that the experience isn't real, just means there is much more than meets the eye. Our reality is limited to what we can experience of it. To claim that nothing exists other than our experience of consciousness is incredulous.

 

[Erikmen]

I don't know about your self, but my self exists within myself. My subjective reality is real, but what I perceive only resembles the actuality of an object based on the limited characteristics it can sense. Consciousness can only paint a portrait of reality. Doesn't mean that the experience isn't real, just means there is much more than meets the eye. Our reality is limited to what we can experience of it. To claim that nothing exists other than our experience of consciousness is incredulous.

Exactly. I was trying to point that but, there's no point in talking to those who only listen to themselves.

 

[Erikmen]

I don't know if it's obvious to everyone, but superior people tend to be superior only in one thing. Take the Noble Prize winner Kary Mullis. He invented PCR which was a great contribution to humanity. After winning the noble prize, he became guilty of all the things you bolded in your post. He has a high IQ and knows chemistry fairly well, but doesn't have a klew about anything else in the world. His education and knowledge and wordview is too specialized and completely unbalanced. then he went on to claim that HIV does not cause AIDS. Gaysex is what really causes AIDS, he went on to claim. "Molecules (like HIV) are mostly hypothetical." He believes everybody should believe this and other crazy claims he makes because he has a high IQ and won a Noble Prize. He has the reputation of being a dick, and the scientific community hates him. There are many more examples.

I was being sarcastic as the only one who claims to be superior is Ninae and her spiritual guides..

 

[Ninae]

I post in a somehow manic state a fair bit of the time. That's why I mentioned it. I'm not extremely manic, in that I act like a crazy person, but it's enough to cause some issues.

I think I understand you. Extreme stress sucks. How do you personally cope with stress? Writing about it, describing your experiences on bluelight is one way, right? How about in real life? Do you have close friends or family you trust enough to talk to when things get bad? Or does the manic phase freak people out and drive them away?

I said I didn't mean this place stresses me. I mean stress from my family and everyone around me. I've had many overdoses the past few years so everyone feels the need to check up on me all the time, and some like my dad feels it's a good idea to give me as hard a time as possible and can really drive me crazy.

I just have such a low tolerance to stress these days I need to be by myself much of the time. I'm not highly pahologically manic, more like a low-level, but it does lead to episodes. Mostly by losing all common sense and under-estemating risks or just expecting the best possible outcome. I'm not well grounded.

 

[socko]

OK then, that's why you like bluelight, right? You can be yourself all you want and get rid of your stress without having to worry about anybody criticizing you.

 

[Ninae]

I think for most it's a good way to spend time when you're wasted/in withdrawal/sobering up as you can connect with people who relate. I guess that's what this community is really about.

 

[turkalurk]

I post in a somehow manic state a fair bit of the time. That's why I mentioned it. I'm not extremely manic, in that I act like a crazy person, but it's enough to cause some issues.



I said I didn't mean this place stresses me. I mean stress from my family and everyone around me. I've had many overdoses the past few years so everyone feels the need to check up on me all the time, and some like my dad feels it's a good idea to give me as hard a time as possible and can really drive me crazy.

I just have such a low tolerance to stress these days I need to be by myself much of the time. I'm not highly pahologically manic, more like a low-level, but it does lead to episodes. Mostly by losing all common sense and under-estemating risks or just expecting the best possible outcome. I'm not well grounded.

Hugs to you Nina! Sorry for any stress that I have caused you. You seem like a sweet person, so I could genuinely say that I get an "angelic vibe" from ya. ;D

 

[Ninae]

Hahah

 

[turkalurk]

Hahah

just to clarify, I am not being facetious. my sympathy and compliments are genuine. I understand your mentality and I think its cute. I would rather observe someone trying to be angelic because they identified with kindness and compassion, than to observe someone accepting their dickish nature, identifying with demons, and trying to create harm and chaos.