Hello everyone, just wanted to share my story so far for some new ppl. I used to be pretty active in here with updates, but I’ve since stopped with updating consistently. I do think I posted an update last month sometime though.
So, I was put on invega after a pretty intense BP1 manic episode. Within the first month, I became a vegetable, an empty shell, I gained weight, & i found joy in absolutely nothing. I took 8 or so shots, & just kept hoping it would get better.
I thought about suicide every waking moment that whole time. I couldnt function sexually, emotionally, logically, all of the things that make one human. Everything was so dreadfully boring, I never thought I’d find another thing that would entertain me. I didn’t care about anything, myself, others, nothing at all.
After that 8th shot, I realized that this wasn’t a feeling that I could wait out, & that I needed to stop immediately. This forum gave me an outlet, & some hope for the future.
It was a very slow, gradual & long road, that im not 100% done crossing, but now, 15 months later, I’m mostly recovered. I got my humor back, my wit (though I think there’s still a tiny bit to recover there tbh), there’s no anhedonia or akathisia left, & I’m getting back to living life.
I’ve reconnected with old friends, made new ones, and even met this girl, who is wonderful, & we’ve been together since late July. We truly love eachother, & its nice to feel that again.
A few weeks ago, on my birthday, we were doing a little drinking, & started talking about some deep mental health stuff, & i cried, for the first time in a long time. Since then I’ve almost cried two times, so I think its safe to say I can feel the full range of emotions again.
Once again, I have hope for my future. Hang in there, guys.