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Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 12

Guys I'm feeling so depressed. It's only been 15 days since my last shot but this feels like it's going to be my forever reality. Even my dreams are less vivid than before and I don't go into proper REM sleep. My body feels like damaged goods now.
 
The thing is I'm very awake and alert so it feels like this is my permanent state. If I had been bedridden it would have been better because there is more tangible healing to be done for the body. Now it feels like this is the new normal for me. I'm really scared guys. I don't know what to do....
 
KubiKook said:
I like your optimism, Fly... It's been 18 months though. How long did this level of misery last for you? I don't know, Bro, I got a tough road to ho. Still working my way off two poison 'sleep' pills.
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Mine lasted around 4-6 months - guess what they plan on injecting me again this week before my discharge i’m ready for a road of hell…
 
Brendan Clark said:
The thing is I'm very awake and alert so it feels like this is my permanent state. If I had been bedridden it would have been better because there is more tangible healing to be done for the body. Now it feels like this is the new normal for me. I'm really scared guys. I don't know what to do....
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itlll take 4-6 months everyone’s biology is different i’m scared too buddy i only get tired around night time in this ward and can sleep for a little, but im scared too that i can’t breathe but ive been through it before
 
When I look back at who I used to be I feel like such a diminished version of myself, like the person I would have hated becoming. This drug has turned me into my worst nightmare version of myself. Will I ever go back to my old self again?
 
I feel like a diminished version of myself just now due to invega as if the old, true version of myself is buried in the past. Will I ever go back to being the real me, or is he gone for good?
 
Brendan Clark said:
I have so many regrets. Regrets for not speaking out about this earlier and trying to get changed to another drug. I don't see the point to life....
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No amount of regret can change the past. We just need to accept the fact that life has become different for a while. That we have stepped out of the game, and now we need to focus on getting through this stage with honor and dignity. I also don’t see the point in continuing if this is forever, if I am doomed to decades of withering existence, but according to many people’s stories, recovery does come. Right now I’m struggling with suicidal thoughts, my brain is painting dark pictures of how I could do it. It hurts me even to think about the future. But the truth is that we all want to get there, we all want to be happy. Right now fate is dealing us the worst cards, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t trump cards at the bottom of the deck. Perhaps we are only at the very beginning of our long journey
 
InnerReturn said:
No amount of regret can change the past. We just need to accept the fact that life has become different for a while. That we have stepped out of the game, and now we need to focus on getting through this stage with honor and dignity. I also don’t see the point in continuing if this is forever, if I am doomed to decades of withering existence, but according to many people’s stories, recovery does come. Right now I’m struggling with suicidal thoughts, my brain is painting dark pictures of how I could do it. It hurts me even to think about the future. But the truth is that we all want to get there, we all want to be happy. Right now fate is dealing us the worst cards, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t trump cards at the bottom of the deck. Perhaps we are only at the very beginning of our long journey
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I think you've got a better chance of recovery than myself though, as you got 3 shots whereas I got 9, three times the amount. None of the things that used to bring me joy and happiness are appealing to me anymore, that was different in June. Now I spend my day just sitting not knowing what to do in life. Then I think of myself this time last year and get depressed knowing how much I've changed. I think my D2 receptors are blocked and would really like to get a D2 receptor occupancy and serotonin receptor occupancy scan at one of the universities that do it. I'll write to them to see if I can be a research participant cause they don't offer it to the public by appointments. Then they can monitor it over time. I think when and if invega gets banned they should offer this to all those who took it.
 
Damn y'all, these psych system monsters stole every bit of beauty from my life. I'm left entirely bereft, without the heart & soul that drove me, moved me, was at the very core of my being... : ( -
 
Brendan Clark said:
When I look back at who I used to be I feel like such a diminished version of myself, like the person I would have hated becoming. This drug has turned me into my worst nightmare version of myself. Will I ever go back to my old self again?
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I not only recovered but am doing alot better then pre injection so you can to. I would get switched to zyprexa it works geat for me without many side effects
 
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