Mental Health Coming off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v3

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Sorry for the negative post I'm about to write. I feel like a vegetable but I can't kill myself. This is what I get for not trusting in myself more, getting scared and going to the hospital, which was weak. I was given two shots (one a booster) a whole ass month ago and it hasn't "worn off". I'm worried that I've been chemically lobotomized like Dr Peter Breggin talks about. I don't know what to do. I want to end it, I can't go on like this. I was a university student, struggled with reading and writing essays but at least I was *capable* of reading and somewhat functional socially. I am so upset and I want to be strong but this is my worst nightmare realized. I am having a hard time coming to terms with this, and I am lazy. This is what I get for making poor choices. Thanks for reading if you have. I want to recover but I am losing hope. I'm worried that recovery is not possible, or it's only partial, or it won't happen for me and we are deluding ourselves. Thanks again and sorry for being negative but I can barely talk about this with anyone because I feel like I can barely speak.
 
Sorry for the negative post I'm about to write. I feel like a vegetable but I can't kill myself. This is what I get for not trusting in myself more, getting scared and going to the hospital, which was weak. I was given two shots (one a booster) a whole ass month ago and it hasn't "worn off". I'm worried that I've been chemically lobotomized like Dr Peter Breggin talks about. I don't know what to do. I want to end it, I can't go on like this. I was a university student, struggled with reading and writing essays but at least I was *capable* of reading and somewhat functional socially. I am so upset and I want to be strong but this is my worst nightmare realized. I am having a hard time coming to terms with this, and I am lazy. This is what I get for making poor choices. Thanks for reading if you have. I want to recover but I am losing hope. I'm worried that recovery is not possible, or it's only partial, or it won't happen for me and we are deluding ourselves. Thanks again and sorry for being negative but I can barely talk about this with anyone because I feel like I can barely speak.
This sounds exactly like how I felt in February.
Trust me, you will recover. It takes most people 6 months, it took me 4. But I’m definitely showing signs I’ve recovered as I am able to enjoy things again like I used to.. Thank god!! But hang in through the pain man it’s gonna suck d*ck yeah but with months and months to come you will get better. Don’t listen to people on here who say you never recover. That’s what made me lose my mind don’t let it lose yours. Invega feels like pure death I know how it is..
 
Thank you for responding, I want to believe in recovery. It sucks because I always valued my intelligence, and now it feels like it's gone and I am so embarrassed for people to see me like this or meet me now. But I guess that's what I get for caring what others think. Right now I don't think I'm gonna make it. Also I am female (I know I didn't really introduce myself, my bad, just feeling like I don't have the energy to type out stuff right now because it's all hitting me at once)
 
Thank you for responding, I want to believe in recovery. It sucks because I always valued my intelligence, and now it feels like it's gone and I am so embarrassed for people to see me like this or meet me now. But I guess that's what I get for caring what others think. Right now I don't think I'm gonna make it. Also I am female (I know I didn't really introduce myself, my bad, just feeling like I don't have the energy to type out stuff right now because it's all hitting me at once)
I was also very smart the system and forced drugging steaks your life it is a hidden industry in our evil world with one shot they can mess up your life. Maybe we will recover maybe we won't a guy on youtube I'm talking to its been a year with no improvements. I really think this CoulD be permanent time will tell I guess
 
Can someone give a realistic timeline on their full recovery? I'm not expecting any changes for at least one year.
 
Thank you for responding, I want to believe in recovery. It sucks because I always valued my intelligence, and now it feels like it's gone and I am so embarrassed for people to see me like this or meet me now. But I guess that's what I get for caring what others think. Right now I don't think I'm gonna make it. Also I am female (I know I didn't really introduce myself, my bad, just feeling like I don't have the energy to type out stuff right now because it's all hitting me at once)

It's not you, it's the drug


Can someone give a realistic timeline on their full recovery? I'm not expecting any changes for at least one year.

The most shitty effects like akathisia and anhedonia subside greatly within the first 3-4 months. The lingering effects like sexual side effects, metabolism, mental stunting etc will take longer than that. It's rare for people to not recover after a year.
 
How will one know when they are in fact healed tho?
Before the shot I was so good at most things now it's like I have
To focus really hard to think about anything
 
198 days off. No improvements. To anyone that recovered and felt their first improvements later than 6 months, I would love to hear from you. I am getting nervous as to whether or not I will recover. I would love to hear from someone that did not feel any improvements until month 8, and then recovered.
 
What kind of music were you making? What kind of music can be triggering? Just curious as I believe in this and believe certain artists actually strive to cause distress in their listeners. Definitely always be aware of the music you choose to listen to...

-GC
It was aggressive rap music, I noticed it was giving off bad vibes.
 
I'm still having a terrible time. Suffering from thoughtlessness has got me feeling pretty incapable of doing life. No thoughts means I cant make decisions and not being able to make decisions basically means I cant function. It also means I can't socialize, study or meaningfully pursue any hobbies.

This whole deal has got me feeling pretty isolated, so I was just wondering, is anybody else experiencing the same thing? Or has anybody experienced the same thing and recovered?
 
Hello everyone, I healed after 6-7 months and I am now doing greater than I ever was in my life. I completely gave up on myself; and finally things are going amazingly. For one, my current girlfriend met me when I had first started taking the shots. She was literally the only reason I didn’t off myself, I had 6 high dose shots. I was experiencing extreme volatility under the diagnosis of bipolar disorder with psychotic features, even a schizophrenia diagnosis awhile ago due to drug induced psychosis. She helped me through everything basically, caring for me on a daily. Although the feeling that I had literally lost everything hung over me on a daily even shortly after finally healing. I felt like it was great that I finally recovered, although the toll it took on my future felt great. Fortunately this was just in the mind. I had gotten into 2 separate car accidents while under Invega and mind you, I’ve never been in any type of car accidents in my life before then. In fact while bipolar I was an amazing and focused driver. Both times I were at fault. I was able to purchase a brand new car at the age of 22, although it was quite expensive to pay for this monthly and soon I found myself under the weight of bills and I figured I was stuck in this position until my girlfriend graduated from Med school and we could be much better off. I am still 22 now and I was hired at a job that pays 17/hr which is great expect it was part time. I REMAINED faithful to my path and myself, constantly telling myself. I will succeed, I will make it. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. Just yesterday I received a promotion opportunity from my manager giving me full time which is a HUGE difference. Not only 40 hours but benefits, raises, PTO, etc. This changes everything for me. I can get my own place now whenever I want, I can pay all of my bills and save as much as I want. I finally have a path in life again! I recently started I stopped believing in God after being injected because those things no longer interested me. My girlfriend is Muslim and this month is Ramadan, she consistently tells me she prays for our successful life, healing for me, etc. And I swear to GOD all these things have happened. I even cried for the first time in almost a year last night, it was very sad because I lost my mother at a young age and this yielded bipolar of course, my father was deadbeat and I was essentially raised by someone who told me they didn’t want me. I felt alone in the world. However, I would not choose another life. This made me the person I am today. In better news, I’ve found that Fish oil greatly helps me. I experience no type of hallucinations or delusions whereas before it would be occasional. It is proven to help with scizoaffective and bipolar. I also believe that if one seeks a normal productive life. One must stop all substances. No weed, no psychedelics, etc. This has worked for me and I have found greater fulfillment. I can honestly say my life has finally gotten better again. If you have no faith in God like I did, at least have faith in yourself. If you don’t give up, things will change. Thank you for listening. Happy Ramadan everyone.
 
Does joy ever return? I'm hoping negative thoughts are just the drug talking.
I want to be a normal person again and am scared it well never return.
 
I went to the barbershop today and I looked myself in the mirror , I really dont look good, black circles around my eyyes , yellow skin, yellow teeth, fat as fuck . This is really poison ,I dont know what to hope , its been 9 months for me and I cant help myself but think Im screwed
 
I have about had enough. I have heard enough people say that this drug is permanent and it is really scaring me. Wasn't there a person on here that was complaining about the drug and how it ruined his life.sometimes I feel that this drug is actually permanent and am scared to death. I just read a story about how someone killed a 5 year old DUI driving. He will probably spend 5 years in jail comfortably and will not be on invega. he will get a better life than those of us cursed from invega sustenna poisoning. This is truly the awful life and we didn't even see it coming the drug stole my life maybe everyone on here is deluding themselves this drug is awful end of story. https:///2gDhT930youtu.be5ZE
This drug has completed destroyed my life and this guy says he is still not recovered I want to believe but something on the back of my mind says this is permanant.
 
Thanks for the video ammarishot! I enjoyed the opening clip especially :) when you say you were a vegetable after the higher dose shot, how long did it take you to heal? Did you struggle with speaking and focus ? Also you look pretty young so I'm worried you just have a more plastic brain than I :/

To Sbar25, I think it's possible that stressing yourself out may be harmful and blocking you from healing. Oxidative stress damages the brain, so maybe the best thing for you to do is to try to relax, so you can get better sleep, etc and better repair your brain. This is what I'm telling myself anyway
 
Thanks for the video ammarishot! I enjoyed the opening clip especially :) when you say you were a vegetable after the higher dose shot, how long did it take you to heal? Did you struggle with speaking and focus ? Also you look pretty young so I'm worried you just have a more plastic brain than I :/

To Sbar25, I think it's possible that stressing yourself out may be harmful and blocking you from healing. Oxidative stress damages the brain, so maybe the best thing for you to do is to try to relax, so you can get better sleep, etc and better repair your brain. This is what I'm telling myself anyway
It took about 6-7 months to heal from that one shot, and yes I did struggle with speaking and focus. Thanks for watching the video, I appreciate it! It's actually healthy people who recover faster, they don't necessarily have to be young. So keep a positive mindset, stay active, and hopefully you'll recover quickly :)
 
It took about 6-7 months to heal from that one shot, and yes I did struggle with speaking and focus. Thanks for watching the video, I appreciate it! It's actually healthy people who recover faster, they don't necessarily have to be young. So keep a positive mindset, stay active, and hopefully you'll recover quickly :)
Thanks! You and others here inspire me. I assume when you say "healthy people" you mean people who exercise and eat well? It's been a month since my 2 shots, and my head actually hurts when I try to read… it's difficult to know when to push myself mentally and when to slow down and relax, because I believe that recovery comes to people who put themselves out there and keep challenging themselves, but at the same time you don't want to over stress yourself… what do you think, and what has been your experience with pushing yourself to recover? I hope this question made sense.
 
Guys the truth is we are experiments for big pharma.
They screwed us. Are old life is gone.
They stole it. We are living in the matrix and if you speak out get shut down. I dont know anymore
Sbar25
 
Guys the truth is we are experiments for big pharma.
They screwed us. Are old life is gone.
They stole it. We are living in the matrix and if you speak out get shut down. I dont know anymore
Sbar25
Keep hope I know its a dark place but we have to keep pushing . One day we will be alive again
 
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