Sorry for the negative post I'm about to write. I feel like a vegetable but I can't kill myself. This is what I get for not trusting in myself more, getting scared and going to the hospital, which was weak. I was given two shots (one a booster) a whole ass month ago and it hasn't "worn off". I'm worried that I've been chemically lobotomized like Dr Peter Breggin talks about. I don't know what to do. I want to end it, I can't go on like this. I was a university student, struggled with reading and writing essays but at least I was *capable* of reading and somewhat functional socially. I am so upset and I want to be strong but this is my worst nightmare realized. I am having a hard time coming to terms with this, and I am lazy. This is what I get for making poor choices. Thanks for reading if you have. I want to recover but I am losing hope. I'm worried that recovery is not possible, or it's only partial, or it won't happen for me and we are deluding ourselves. Thanks again and sorry for being negative but I can barely talk about this with anyone because I feel like I can barely speak.