Invegolas.. It's because you have no control over your mind. You're succumbing to your negative thoughts and not pausing before reacting from the thoughts. Emotions get the best of us, especially fear and anger. I have four charges for my psychotic break. I have court next month. This medicine is simply a wake up call. A warning not to buy into my fear and anger any more. The mind hallucinates our realities. Tame the mind and start using it as a tool instead of your master.
Look @Legolas I got to agree here that the trick is to not let your mind take over. I started getting high knowing I was at risk for psychosis but I was not in the same situation I was living in. I was put on this medication because I thought my gf at the time was trying to kill me for cheating on her. Now I stick to a straight and narrow path and do not let myself get into situation I where I have to lie because that is the tool of concious that you live with.
Be honest with yourself and see if you are ready to come off the poison. Keep a journal and keep your thoughts in check. When I was coming off in my earlier months I slept 10 hours. Now I am doing better sleeping on 6/7/8. I'm happy now. So what you should do is find a happy medium in your life where you can sustain a good mental state of well being and then keep learning how to maintain the healthy mindset.
So yeah I decided to come off of it because of how it made me and it ruined my life really it was going to kill me if I stayed on it longer I felt like I was drowning.
So yeah. I been off it 8 months and doing good. Working and living with my gf. I see a therapist every week too and that helps. I really cleaned up my life. I got more work to do from the fallout of 2018 where my life was nothing but I am slowly climbing out of that dark hole. Now I am happy to be alive. Plus I just got into Elder Scrolls Online.
Of course your doctor will not want you off of it they believe in this shit. They aren't on it. Also I told a urgent care doctor about how I finally got off invega and he goes "I hope you know what your doing" phff acting like I'm some nut job. I would be dead if I stayed on invega. Just thinking of how it altered my life makes me shudder and sick to my stomach. It's hard to come back here and talk about it. I don't want to remember that it happened to me but I'm accepting it.
I also had reportedly taken spiced weed and I had no knowledge of this.. K2 Spice got me pschotic paranoia psychosis. It was weed induced. But no. They treated me like I was a schizophrenic and didn't even give me a fair chance to normalize in the p.ward before they gave me that garbage.
Then I had this mother fucking Indian doctor that convinced my dad (who was my caretaker because I was too "dull" to keep up in conversation) that I had to stay on Invega so I received 8 shots or 9 in total counting the booster. I had to convince my dad to let me quit by studying on here and representing the Information to him and he finally came to consensus it was bad for me. I paced the floors day in and day out I prayed outloud I never prayed before. I was whacked out.
This to me is what I considered recovered. I have no issues that are currently stopping me from living a life.
Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe it's the self medicating I did that pushed my recovery. Maybe it was my detox drink.