Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

Status
Not open for further replies.
I think the biggest accomplishment is ending your own life ...only because majority of people fear death ...I think I have hit the end of my roads and crossing over to see what's on the other side is what In stored for me ...people really do not care what is going on with you no matter how much you Express it ...I believe in recarnation that our souls get recycle back to earth until we are put in the right time and place for change ..and I do not believe it is my time to be walking on this earth ...because nobody gets it or understands we are on a never ending loop until things fall in place...I am starting to think death is infinite and not love ....why else would they install fear towards it ...I am in a really sour place in life right now and I will get the same old things will get better commit from people in my life and maybe / maybe not the samething from people here as well ...what if we are valuing life more the death... maybe the death could really be the answers we need to figure out how to make things right ...I believe you have visions from your past life but padidise that is promise is having majority of it erased so you can have a clean slate...sorry for venting this craziness as most will call it but I really feel like I do not have much time left on this century of earth ...
 
I think the biggest accomplishment is ending your own life ...only because majority of people fear death ...I think I have hit the end of my roads and crossing over to see what's on the other side is what In stored for me ...people really do not care what is going on with you no matter how much you Express it ...I believe in recarnation that our souls get recycle back to earth until we are put in the right time and place for change ..and I do not believe it is my time to be walking on this earth ...because nobody gets it or understands we are on a never ending loop until things fall in place...I am starting to think death is infinite and not love ....why else would they install fear towards it ...I am in a really sour place in life right now and I will get the same old things will get better commit from people in my life and maybe / maybe not the samething from people here as well ...what if we are valuing life more the death... maybe the death could really be the answers we need to figure out how to make things right ...I believe you have visions from your past life but padidise that is promise is having majority of it erased so you can have a clean slate...sorry for venting this craziness as most will call it but I really feel like I do not have much time left on this century of earth ...

Don't kill yourself. Your journey isn't over.
 
Day 96 today guys. Hanging in there. Feeling better. Still taking St johns wort(Just ran out today, getting more), vitamin E (is a must), omega 3-6-9s (somtimes), multivitamin (sometimes but been taking more lately) and boron (everyday). I am so happy to say that my sexual side effects are completely gone, honestly, they've been gone for like 2 weeks but it's gotten slightly better recently so I'll call it now. But I can get erect from being flaccid with no issue, i feel pleasure, my cum is white and milky, not watery and clear. I think this is due to the vitamin E i've been taking everyday you can google it's sexual side effects. My pdoc pissed me the fuck off the other day, refused to test my testosterone because he "couldnt do anything" regardless of what the results were, anyway, i'm getting my prolactin tested again soon. Remember my prolacin has so far gone from 84 to 74 to 60.4 and im getting a fourth test done soon. Heal quickly and remember take vitamin e, it doesn't help with anhedonia or akathisia or emotional numbing, or the cognitive blunting but it helps with the sexual part.
 
I think the biggest accomplishment is ending your own life ...only because majority of people fear death ...I think I have hit the end of my roads and crossing over to see what's on the other side is what In stored for me ...people really do not care what is going on with you no matter how much you Express it ...I believe in recarnation that our souls get recycle back to earth until we are put in the right time and place for change ..and I do not believe it is my time to be walking on this earth ...because nobody gets it or understands we are on a never ending loop until things fall in place...I am starting to think death is infinite and not love ....why else would they install fear towards it ...I am in a really sour place in life right now and I will get the same old things will get better commit from people in my life and maybe / maybe not the samething from people here as well ...what if we are valuing life more the death... maybe the death could really be the answers we need to figure out how to make things right ...I believe you have visions from your past life but padidise that is promise is having majority of it erased so you can have a clean slate...sorry for venting this craziness as most will call it but I really feel like I do not have much time left on this century of earth ...

I've felt similarly, but then I realised that my life is going to be fucking short as anyway- relatively speaking, all lives are. You may as well stick it out- you never know what is around the corner.

The fear of death is uniquely human really. All animals avoid things which could kill them, bu they don't actively know they will die. We poor humans know it and have to try and live a lfe dealing with it. I don't know how its done, but there are some wise people out there that have been where you are and came up with a way out. A way to live with and value the fear even.

Best of luck, friend <3
 
@WildSunShin3 I read on the other forum you are still forced to inject Risperdal Consta, I'm sorry, this nightmare will over I promise, don't kill yourself please...

I reached some bad withrawal, I'm a nervous wreck, my body is broken, I struggle to walk.
I am currently not on any injections ... I got myself out of the court system .
 
Alright so I?m about 20 days away from my 10 month mark... here?s where I?m at:

I can work out every day. That?s the only thing that keeps me sane, aside from the CBD that I take. I do anywhere from 5-10 miles a day high intensity interval training on the treadmill. I HAVE lost the 70 lbs I gained on this poison... After I?m done working out tho, I can tell my body is breaking down the invega basically bc in my eyes they look wide and zonked, and just plain scary. It?s sad bc they?ve been like this ever since invega and you?d hope by the 10 month mark that the zombified look would be gone for the most part, but nope....

So my daily vitamin regimen is Tumeric, NAC, Boron, coQ10, fish oil, magnesium, zinc, and some other shit... it helps...

I?m also on a 4 month cleanse with supergreens powder and stuff just so my body (kidneys, liver, intestines) are cleansed.. it?s great I even stopped taking my welbutrin bc of it. Never felt better.

My appetite around the 7th month got back to my baseline for the most part, the problem then was just making sure I didn?t eat bc invega blocks your satiety receptors. Around July 20th I got another rush of hunger so I?m desperately hoping that was my LAST half-life on this horrible stuff.

I can tell how active the invega is in my body by how big my pupils are. On the shot my pupils looked like I was an opiate addict: pin holes, I was so light sensitive it was basically like I needed sunglasses inside. My sun sensitivity has gotten better but it?s not like I used to be...

October 20th will be my 1 year anniversary since getting the shot. By then I think I?ll only have residual issues in my brain that will eventually be fixed with neuroplasticity. I hope that Ill have emotions by Christmas- now I only have the windows of emotions, cbd helped bring me back.

My anxiety has been bad, It happens EVERY time the invega rereleases In my body. It?s like I go to this ?it?s the end of the world? thought spiral and it?s bc my rationale and center in the brain where I have hope and shit gets blocked again. This happened around July 20th and it?s now finally getting better.

I get this uncontrollable hate and anger sometimes that makes me want to yell and almost kill the people that ended up making me get this shot. I?d never do that but I?m trying to describe the inner unrest I have with words bc the invega still blocks my natural reactions. I imagine it?s like having ur eyes open but being paralyzed and not able to tell anyone to stop operating on you...

I run my ass off and I lay out in the sun for hours on end (sunlight helps SOOO much) to get this crap out of my body. I?d say I?m about 3/5ths there, maybe 3/4 done but 3/5ths is my conservative estimate. I noticed benefits at month 5, then less hunger issues around month 7. By month 7 I felt just ?moderately impaired? even tho my eyes were soo zombified. They?ve gotten better since month 7, month 8 there was no noticeable change, by month 9 I felt I had my physical abilities back at least 85-90%. I do have weird heart palpitations that scare me lately so I added coq10 (which all antipsychotics naturally deplete our body?s of, along with magnesium) and I?ve been a lot better.

I know I?m doing better when I think ?oh smoking some weed right now would be nice? and stuff like that, it means my reward system and dopamine receptors are waking up remembering being flooded with dopamine In the past.

Since the past 9 months I barely leave the house, I?ve had horrible social anxiety and issues with eye contact and I want to let all of u know that that has actually gotten better. It?s crazy bc I never had these issues before, even tho they fit a mental illness profile so ironically the LESS Meds ur on, the better it is for you, socially and daily routine wise. I wear sunglasses if I go out so people don?t get put off by my odd-looking medicated eyes. When id talk to strangers their eyes would dart left to right looking at why my eyes looked off, I got a couple comments from family too. Now they say they?re much better but not like they were pre-invega. I think I will be mostly social-anxiety free by thanksgiving, the anxiety I?m trying to talk about is the invega anxiety where any situation u feel stunned and unable to communicate and adapt so u get nervous. That?s gotten 70% better. Alright that?s mostly it, OH I forgot my sleep in the past few days I?ve had less # of times I wake up. It used to be 4-5 but now it?s 2-3 which is the first time in 2 years that this has happened. Note: I was on the shot for a year.

Alright sorry for the rambling I have adhd. U guys are great, I?m not hopeless anymore but I am definitely still flat as fuck. If I could pay money to make the next 4 months go by quicker I would... oh and @Steph78 sorry I sent u a message and then didn?t reply to ur response, I was hopless then, ur response helped and when I typed my response and tried to send it the button I clicked erased it all so I just gave up lol.

Carry on everyone with the good fight, if u read all of this I?m laughing bc I?m sorry but this was mostly for catharisis but ask any questions u guys have! Idk what I wouldve done without this site!

P.s. by the 9th month mark, I?ve finally gotten back my desire to shop. To shop for new clothes, to buy dumb stuff on Etsy, I CANT wait till the new iPhone dropping this September. This means I?m looking forward to things, I haven?t had this feeling in 2 years, maybe more! Aside from exercise and maybe going to a movie theatre occasionally with my mom nothing makes me ?happy? so it?s coming back!
 
Last edited:
Thanks. I would still be nowhere if it wasn?t for the fact that I?ve exercised EVERY day since last October. I?d probably be back to normal if it was just one shot, thanks for the feedback. It means a lot bc NO ONE understands the struggle this is, except for the people on here. We?re lucky to be alive and especially lucky if we get past the suicidality due to the invega...
 
@familyguy56 if u can?t muster up the energy to work out, try taking L-tyrosine it helps motivate u especially in terms of exercise. And also if u don?t wanna get off ur ass, just sit in the sun, something about the invega makes us sun-avoidant but if u force urself to be out under the sun for just 30 min you?ll notice it breaks down the invega. 1 hour of sunlight is like a weeks worth of exercise in terms of invega elimination based on my personal experience
 
the new cloudfare system that is in place will time you out and erase anything you may have typed up before trying to send it.

i use a laptop and copy what i've written up before sending it (especially when responding to a PM as they will send blank ones sometimes. check your sent box after you send one to confirm if your message got through), there are other programs on phones and computers you can use as well.

here is a link that might help out too. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...le-typing-a-long-reply-can-I-get-my-post-back
 
Last edited:
@HateInvega: good breakthrough. "couldn't do anything"?? sounds like it's time to get a new doc man. (not telling you what to do)

@Hellohihey2: those eyes being constricted are typical for a lot of people. even while using uppers i couldn't get my eyes to dilate which was weirding people out who used with me. others in the past have gone through the same and said it all goes back to normal, most days my eyes are not as constricted. i use to wear sunglasses cause not only did the sun burn my skin but my eyes couldn't see with the blinding light. it's possible the anger is from having emotions again, also might be because you are having separation or comedown from invega. the anxiety is also caused by this. you are starting to re-balance or going back to a state of homeostasis. either way that is a very good sign in healing.

^ both of you have good info, advice and making good progress. keep us updated.

@LifeAfterInvega: thanks. Narshe81 posted a lot of places on the net and came back here for a lil while as Narshe81_return because he forgot his password. he said as much as you did on a few forums and i feel for the guy big time. still thankful he gave so many people a place to start healing from. (much love Narshe)

@Empty1128: that absurd feeling in the brain is why i quit taking the poison too. that and my memory was so horrible from top to bottom. try an aspirin for today to see if it helps with the tachycardia, nervous feeling being gone is awesome. keep up with the walks, being connected to life and other people by getting out is sometimes over rated and sometimes undervalued but a big help either way if and when you can get outside.

@WildSunShin3: let's keep doing the PM thing. we can work this through until it passes or figure out what else to do about it. those here definitely can relate and don't want any harm to come to you. i'm a lil wore out right now from typing this post (why? because i'm finally separating more from the poison, going through my own withdrawals from it. got anxiety, displacement and other signs that let me know they are real and not being affected by the poison anymore, trying to anyway.) but i'll shoot you one in a lil.

@nybryx: vent away brother. it's what this thread is here for. we feel you and don't judge you for it.

@Steph78: "die invega". wow, spoke to my soul with that one. very chill. ;)

to the room: the poison creates that suicidal feeling in us, everyone goes through it at some time, we don't actually want to die. when it does this to us it warps our thoughts and behavior into believing that is what we really want... it is not. it is frustrating, unfair and definitely not who we are. everyone else who came before you has gotten past this part, find what helps to get you through it and you will see it for yourselves. this too shall pass.

it also creates another problem in terms with mortality, a figurative one. a lil death or what i call change. it locks us into a bad mode and nothing seems to get better or change and our brain, body, emotions and spirit/soul are struggling to do so, screaming at us it wants something different. it is one of the hardest things to deal with while on the poison but like hope and the rest of ourselves the poison only temporarily removes us from; in time things will change again and things will get back to the way they were once before if not better. in the mean time keep coming here, distracting yourself and working to overcome this obstacle that has been put in front of you. healing comes first always.
 
@HateInvega: good breakthrough. "couldn't do anything"?? sounds like it's time to get a new doc man. (not telling you what to do)

@Hellohihey2: those eyes being constricted are typical for a lot of people. even while using uppers i couldn't get my eyes to dilate which was weirding people out who used with me. others in the past have gone through the same and said it all goes back to normal, most days my eyes are not as constricted. i use to wear sunglasses cause not only did the sun burn my skin but my eyes couldn't see with the blinding light. it's possible the anger is from having emotions again, also might be because you are having separation or comedown from invega. the anxiety is also caused by this. you are starting to re-balance or going back to a state of homeostasis. either way that is a very good sign in healing.

^ both of you have good info, advice and making good progress. keep us updated.

@LifeAfterInvega: thanks. Narshe81 posted a lot of places on the net and came back here for a lil while as Narshe81_return because he forgot his password. he said as much as you did on a few forums and i feel for the guy big time. still thankful he gave so many people a place to start healing from. (much love Narshe)

@Empty1128: that absurd feeling in the brain is why i quit taking the poison too. that and my memory was so horrible from top to bottom. try an aspirin for today to see if it helps with the tachycardia, nervous feeling being gone is awesome. keep up with the walks, being connected to life and other people by getting out is sometimes over rated and sometimes undervalued but a big help either way if and when you can get outside.

@WildSunShin3: let's keep doing the PM thing. we can work this through until it passes or figure out what else to do about it. those here definitely can relate and don't want any harm to come to you. i'm a lil wore out right now from typing this post (why? because i'm finally separating more from the poison, going through my own withdrawals from it. got anxiety, displacement and other signs that let me know they are real and not being affected by the poison anymore, trying to anyway.) but i'll shoot you one in a lil.

@nybryx: vent away brother. it's what this thread is here for. we feel you and don't judge you for it.

@Steph78: "die invega". wow, spoke to my soul with that one. very chill. ;)

to the room: the poison creates that suicidal feeling in us, everyone goes through it at some time, we don't actually want to die. when it does this to us it warps our thoughts and behavior into believing that is what we really want... it is not. it is frustrating, unfair and definitely not who we are. everyone else who came before you has gotten past this part, find what helps to get you through it and you will see it for yourselves. this too shall pass.

it also creates another problem in terms with mortality, a figurative one. a lil death or what i call change. it locks us into a bad mode and nothing seems to get better or change and our brain, body, emotions and spirit/soul are struggling to do so, screaming at us it wants something different. it is one of the hardest things to deal with while on the poison but like hope and the rest of ourselves the poison only temporarily removes us from; in time things will change again and things will get back to the way they were once before if not better. in the mean time keep coming here, distracting yourself and working to overcome this obstacle that has been put in front of you. healing comes first always.
Ok I PM you back just get back to me when you can
 
@familyguy56 here?s the thing, even if u are schizo as long as u stay away from psychoactive substances like weed and stuff, your chances of being actively psychotic, thus landing u in a hospital and back on the invega, are way less. You need to look into taking Niacin, l-theanine, sarcosine, noni powder- all of these are way more natural than invega and help with your condition. Taking them religiously will make ur symptoms more manageable, once they return when the shot wears off.
 
Bella... enough is enough. you need to seek some professional help now. you scaring off everyone here and they just got their flow back.

anyone can tell from reading the posts by familyguy56, deleted posts of beesinthecrap and beesinthetrap you're the same person. they are almost identical in wording, details and pace at which you post. the same behavior.

your going to lose it if you don't get your shit together. we all know it's hard but you can't keep doing this to us and yourself. it's just not right.

we can't make you leave and not trying to but we don't have to take this abuse either.

please do what is in the best interest of everyone including yourself by finding something that works to help stabilize you before you join in on the discussion.

we're all on edge and this is considered inflaming and trolling plus breaking the rules of this site. your interfering with everyone else's healing and not making this any easier for yourself.

please seek help and find what works best for you. we can't help you until you help yourself first.
 
Last edited:
think i've found a new one. does anyone else sweat when they eat?

doesn't matter if the weather is hot or cold, food is spicy or not and food is warm or cold. whenever i eat for the last few weeks i sweat, not profusely but more than a lil and it's kinda odd.

maybe happens to long time healers or just me cause i'm weird?
 
@invegauser it?s funny u said that bc the last week I started sweating (minimally but to the point I could feel it on my forehead) whenever I eat. I figured it had something to do with working out daily and it changing the potency of the invega in my bloodstream. Maybe it?s just another stage in the recovery? Also how long were u on the shot and how long has it been since ur last one?

Also does anyone or has anyone had white stuff in their snot whenever they blew their nose? I know it sounds weird but I always had it since the invega and only recently has it finally gone away, I think I remember sinus issues being on the long list of side effects...

And another complaint, Invega gives me horrible flash backs, almost like shameful experience and it gives me this horrible, shattered emotional self esteem for a couple of minutes. It happens every time I feel the invega rerelease, and when there?s less my mind is NEVER plagued with those horrible thoughts. Another complaint is my heart, it beats in a weird way lately, idk how to explain it, but last night I was falling asleep and I kept waking up almost as if my heart was skipping a beat and it was exactly at the same time I was just drifting off into deep sleep, so annoying and kinda scary.

Bottom line it?s sad that I was so bad during my recovery that I couldn?t even make a username and contribute on here until maybe 7 months. Now at almost 9 1/2 months since my last shot do I feel like I can be an active user...

Alright I?m going to workout and check back on here. Have a good day guys
 
@invegauser it?s funny u said that bc the last week I started sweating (minimally but to the point I could feel it on my forehead) whenever I eat. I figured it had something to do with working out daily and it changing the potency of the invega in my bloodstream. Maybe it?s just another stage in the recovery? Also how long were u on the shot and how long has it been since ur last one?



Also does anyone or has anyone had white stuff in their snot whenever they blew their nose? I know it sounds weird but I always had it since the invega and only recently has it finally gone away, I think I remember sinus issues being on the long list of side effects...

And another complaint, Invega gives me horrible flash backs, almost like shameful experience and it gives me this horrible, shattered emotional self esteem for a couple of minutes. It happens every time I feel the invega rerelease, and when there?s less my mind is NEVER plagued with those horrible thoughts. Another complaint is my heart, it beats in a weird way lately, idk how to explain it, but last night I was falling asleep and I kept waking up almost as if my heart was skipping a beat and it was exactly at the same time I was just drifting off into deep sleep, so annoying and kinda scary.

Bottom line it?s sad that I was so bad during my recovery that I couldn?t even make a username and contribute on here until maybe 7 months. Now at almost 9 1/2 months since my last shot do I feel like I can be an active user...

Alright I?m going to workout and check back on here. Have a good day guys


I'm at 9 months off the shot. I think I feel pretty much healed. Maybe there's some side effects still there but not bothering me. I'm still having weird issues with dreaming. It just isn't right. I can't get any satisfaction from eating. I don't get full. Pretty much have given up on eating and u can tell. I look horrible. My son said, I look like I'm dying. I just can't help it... I did get kinda high off weed there for a minute. A weird little high and felt the effects of something else I did but now like today, tried to smoke, did nothing, and I tried something else today, pretty strong stuff and nothing. Did nothing. Ruined my day. I'm so over invega. It's like, never ending. Grrr
 
@steph78 yea I know what u mean. I had the same issue with food and then I added CBD into my daily routine and it brought my appetite back and stuff. Life changing, seriously try it out, it can get expensive tho so do ur research
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top