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Chicago heroin thread v. blowin for blows

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You've talked about being an addict, a sex worker, had at least one psych admit for threatening suicide, are heavily tattooed and are violent. Then you snap over a question about something that YOU posted. That is the very definition of BPD.

It was a simple question that you could have ignored if you found it to be weird. Instead, you tell us that a wealthy Chicago socialite kills himself soon after giving you and others thousands of dollars. That is an interesting story.

At any rate, I really do hope that you feel better soon.
 
You've talked about being an addict, a sex worker, had at least one psych admit for threatening suicide, are heavily tattooed and are violent. Then you snap over a question about something that YOU posted. That is the very definition of BPD.

It was a simple question that you could have ignored if you found it to be weird. Instead, you tell us that a wealthy Chicago socialite kills himself soon after giving you and others thousands of dollars. That is an interesting story.

At any rate, I really do hope that you feel better soon.

dude... just drop it... your makin yourself look like an ass...

everyone (me) wanted to keep this as a boys club but urb worked her way into all our hearts despite that but def dont think anyone wants a nit picking asshole to join this small group... so shape up or ship out...

n urb... your not goin thru paws... yet... wait til your almost to that one month mark and i bet youll start gettin the sweats and all those good things... but just hang in there n show your ex a good time for all the exs out there who arent that lucky lol jp
 
^ smh...

dude ur missin the whole vibe of this thread... its not about friends but more about a place of support and a place where other people who are going through or have gone through the same things can relate to everyone, i personaly have one friend who i can openly talk to about the shit im dealing with... so all the regulars on here (i think everyone knows who you are) are a big help to me for getting things off my chest and just having some ppl i can relate too and bull shit with... so for real dont come in, not say shit about yourself or what your going through or whatever else and just be a dick... shit everyone in here are at different stages in their addiction and recovery and IMO it all meshes together very nicely...

so would you like to start fresh and try this again? or just keep bein douchey?

im assuming you enjoy opiates since you clicked on a heroin thread... would you like to be a "normal" member of this group and mabe introduce yourself, say a little about what your going through?
 
Yeah pill bill you are 100% correct at least by my experience. After the god awful sickness I had a month of feeling almost high. Full of life, pride, and a feeling of "I fucking did it!" Then the paws starts and I was crippled with depression for 6 months and even now 15 months later (only had 2 slip ups, 6 bags total) I still get those days where I just can't get out of bed. Those 6 months to a year is actually the hardest part in my opinion. So desprarte for relief from your own brain. But I have depression issues to begin with, and every one is different. Just stay tough urban, and if you slip up don't get down on yourself and just keep fighting. You are a bad bitch and you know it.
 
hey pill - i didn't bother to look it up or anything - although I find the entymology and origins of words to be fascinating - I assumed it was something along the lines of the town crier saying "hear me, hear me..." - that type of shit when there's an announcement to be made. Like for Sumdgey to hear what NNS is saying to him.

And yeah, imnohe also, PAWS comes on later and can be dehabilitating if not recognized and dealt with with, unfortunately. I see two shrinks, cause one is the sub prescribing Dr., and he's actually the one that said "I would have described you as suicidal about a month ago..." and I had to agree, but I was relieved that I wasn't the one telling him that I felt suicidal - because I'm very aware, as Soma's story illustrates quite well, that nothing good can come out of that experience with the mental health system in this country. With the City's deficit and no answer to the growing bills and pension issues, lots of first line, primary mental health care providers in this City and State (IL) have been shut down. My mother used to work for DCFS years ago, dog rest her soul - and even at that point when there "was" money to pay the bills, they were like 6-8 months behind. I work downtown in property management and have witnessed first hand how mental health and substance abuse issues have been kicked out onto the street, for the police to deal with. And that's an endless cycle that goes nowhere. Incarceration with violent criminal types would not be my first choice for treatment when I'm having a bad mental health day.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent, it's a subject that all of us should know or care something about. After all, we are the irredeemable junkies in the eyes of the courts and all the apparatus that surrounds them to make money off locking us up for as long as possible. We are the jackpot, customers for life, if they could have their way.

I'm pissed - my insurance is refusing to pay for subs, they got a better deal from zubsolve and they're gonna take that and make me switch and there's not a damn thing I can do, except pay out of pocket if I really want to. I shouldn't complain tho - I've got a FT time to support my family and FT benefits that provide for them and all the trimmings and trappings that go along with it. I'm a long way from being homeless, couch-surfing and sleeping on trains in NYC for a few months when I have no idea of what else to do.

Peace and love to you all, brothers and sisters. I really wish life had a reset button at some points and i could go back and change the course of my personal history...
 
And why does this f-ing site always lick me out when I'm typing a semi-long reply, only to make me cut and paste and sign off and sign back on again?
WTF - is there some posting timer that runs out or some shit? I know it does it on the phone, but that's a different tool and this is my desktop.
First class, first world, white people problems...
 
Talk about White privilege! Sheesh! ... How do you even live with yourself!? Speaking of living living with oneself... I fucked up baad the last couple of days. Basically, did everything I that I was avoiding for the past couple of months. Did two jabs in a day and a half. Drinking and driving. Homelife, is a disaster. Gf, threw a dozen eggs at my car(yeah, it's used but I love it[and she knows it]).Started calling my friends from here.(embarrassing). Sorry. Eh, at least, there's a job, that I absolutely can't stand, that takes me away from my home life. I refuse to let this shit get on top of me. Let me post what I wrote, before I get the same issue like NSB. I HATE when that happens, man. ...feels like it took me two hours to type this. (Only took one).
Alright! It went through! HA! ...Now I forgot what I wanted to say.
Be good guys.
Thanks for help and support.
Some people off of this thread are some of the most real, genuine people. The kind, I haven't met in a rea long time.
Piiizzzaaa!! Lol. Yeah, I fucked up, man. I'm not gonna KEEP fucking up.
NSB- eh fuck it. You know how I feel about you, bro. Not gonna waste my energy. Lol.
Anyway be good guys.
Peace.
 
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my car(yeah, it's used but I love it[and she knows it])

damn itch... the nerve of some women... but wtf man? where you not around when she was throwin em? shit if a girl of mine was throwin eggs i wouldnt have let her get off more then one or two, hopefully they werent hard boiled tho lol

n def know what ya mean about tryin to type while your on one... shit aint easy, thats for sure... thats usually why i just take a break from posting when those sort of shanaganns are going on in my life and just sit back and creep on the post lol... sure weve all done that once or twice...
 
Im stoned as hell reading this thread.... I feek like Im watching a pillow fight. Cool;-)

Ps, I wish I had the balls to kick opioids for good. Fuck, it sucks.
 
Just curious on what are my fellow Chicago opiate addicts thoughts on hallucinogens? Personally, I love them. Nothing can beat a nice clean LSD trip. Almost like taking a spiritual shower in a way.
 
"Clean" LSD, is an oxymoron. I haven't been able to find clean acid since... Hmm, forever. Shit, I remember when you could get acid that you could eat and sleep on. Imagine waking up and still seeing trails and still being semi incoherent. Towards the end, the only thing I could find were speedy microdots that were mostly strychnine and some kind of amphetamine. That's why I gave up on acid and started looking for shrooms.
On shrooms you can still have a semi normal conversation, watch a movie, whatever.
 
Yeah, I feel ya itchy. Clean LSD is rare nowadays. For me, I've always been able to function better on shrooms than LSD. I love the hallucin-a-giggles that comes with shrooms. Laughing so hard your abs hurt the next morning. Yes, of course heroin has played a huge role in my life but there has always been something special about hallucinogens. Shoot there has been a few times a nice strong dose open my mind and my eyes about my heroin addiction and helped me straighten up for a while, but then that hippy daze I was left in fades out and its back on the D train lol.
 
@MBM: I'm afraid I just don't have the time nor the rigorous psychological fortitude and stamina, that one needs in order to be a successful psychonaut. My synaptic activity can be compared to an old abando, where half the lights are on but still, nobody's home.
 
Beautiful weather today to be out and.....

hey everybody, I decided to start posting here after reading other peoples posts for the longest time....mostly when I was dope sick or down and out about my own opiate addiction and what fantastic things it's done for my life....and while things don't always work out - today was a beautiful day in Chicago to be nodding out in the sun with great dope and an even better friend and having nowhere to go or be. peace and enjoy life.
 
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I remember a local heroin thread that started with a "T" that had a lot of 'hhelper's on it. I suspect there was more heat on tha site than pigs at a donut shop.
I just remembered about it now, when I saw that screen name.
It would be such an obvious set up thread. So ridiculous, that ppl used to post: "For fire call blah, blah, blah..." The people that responded to that, were dumber than the pigs posting that.
But it was gorgeous out today. It's 1:15 am now and it's still ok out.
I can't wait till its like this everyday!
Be good guys and girls(if any stuck around !)...
 
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