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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

onetwothreefour - I totally agree with everything you've said! It's not that I haven't *tried* a relationship with someone I don't find physically attractive, I have - it's just that I'm a tad superficial.

I don't hold this in higher regard than someone I click with though, I'd essentially like to have the best of both worlds!

Greedy bitch that I am!

:D
 
It is really hard to put how I feel into words.

Does not bode well for an aspiring writer/journalist...

I think that to really find that magical kind of connection with someone you have to have that ability to put yourself completely out there. Commit 100% to it. Charge in blindly at full speed with a kind of emotional reckless abandon.

This is my brick wall. I don't like the idea of opening myself up to such a degree. How can anyone be okay with such a situation that is inevitably casino-style rules?

House always wins.

Everything ends eventually. It is a guarantee. So deep down somewhere inside of me I think I know that relationship-wise the higher I allow myself to get carried up, the further I will inevitably fall.

The idea of being totally honest with someone. Exposing your soul. Showing them the real *you*, not just one of the many social masks that slip on so easily depending on company and circumstances...

Just imagine they see you. The real honest you..

...

...

and they don't like what they see?
 
^ precisely...

i think you managed to put it down really well :)

IMO

love...is like jumping off a cliff, but all you can do is believe that someone will catch you :\

absolutely terrifying.
 
For myself and I'm sure most others, initial attraction is what draws you to the person in the first place.

So, in some way it is per say, important. But also upon saying that, I have come across situations where I was not initially attracted to someone. After getting to know them for more than what the cover reads, it is almost like there entire appearence changed to me. And I found that person physically attractive aswell..

So go figure in my case...

damm you heart...
 
yeah in reference to 1234's post - i think it's not so much how important physical attraction is - i think that it's important to everybody, but more what determines who is phsyically attractive to you.

i know just from scoping guys out (;) OMG i'm like TOTALLY crushing on him :p) with friends that my tastes and their do not always coincide.

what's considered "physically attractive" in a broad/defined sense (ie i think what 1234 was talking about) is i guess what society deems as the "stereotypical" attractive looks - majoritively based on celebrity/fashion looks. But i don't think this is limited to what some people whinge about like baywatch babes and hulks of muscle pervading the media....i think in recent times, shows such as the OC (please don't stop reading - cast your prejudices aside) have paved the way for the anti-hero type of "hot" - the seth cohen, geeky type of hot.

in females, there's always going to be the blonde bombshells who are absolutely stunning, but what about other females who have attained goddess like status with their more unusual features. Women like Audrey Hepburn, creator of the gamin look, and many others....

anyway. the point of this highly rambling post is i guess that i think it's a no brainer that physical attraction has quite a lot to do with being with a person in pretty much all cases, after all, it is normally the first point of contact you have with a person (yes - ok - online - this is an exception, and still then a lot of the time it is :p)

It's more that what i consider phyisically attractive may be totally different to what the next person does, and i guess in this way, comes forth the theory "there's someone for everyone". now i don't know if i buy into that, being somewhat cynical and realising that though phsyical attraction is a necessity, it far from makes up the larger proportion of a successful r/ship.....but yeah.

omg...i really hope that made sense, i am extremely over-tired and don't feel i'm making sense.

in short. phsyical attraction - definitely a necessity, but will not hold the glue of a r/ship together if that's all there is to go on.

:)
 
i've never really found the super model attractive. way to many corners, not enough curves. what will attract me to someone is more about how they speak & come across as a person.however i must be able to find them physically attractive or we are just going to be friends.
 
Exactly MP. Most people who say they're not attracted to someone because of how they look 'but because of their super-cool personality' are only kidding themselves. An appreciation for someone's personality without physical attraction is friendship. But, as Miss P said, physical attraction doesn't mean they have to be hot by societal standards. If I'm attracted to someone's personality I usually find that they get better looking [in my eyes] while really good looking people with dull personalities suddenly become very, very plain.
 
Betrayal........its a beautiful thing isn't it? Doesn't it just make you feel so warm and fuzzy? Just like having your intestines removed with a rusty spoon.

So glad I put my heart on the line and opened myself up to someone. Its made me so happy.


Beech


i do assume people can sense the sarcasm in this post
 
Originally posted by Mary Poppins
yeah in reference to 1234's post - i think it's not so much how important physical attraction is - i think that it's important to everybody, but more what determines who is phsyically attractive to you.

...

what's considered "physically attractive" in a broad/defined sense (ie i think what 1234 was talking about) is i guess what society deems as the "stereotypical" attractive looks - majoritively based on celebrity/fashion looks. But i don't think this is limited to what some people whinge about like baywatch babes and hulks of muscle pervading the media....i think in recent times, shows such as the OC (please don't stop reading - cast your prejudices aside) have paved the way for the anti-hero type of "hot" - the seth cohen, geeky type of hot.


Originally posted by up all night
If I'm attracted to someone's personality I usually find that they get better looking [in my eyes] while really good looking people with dull personalities suddenly become very, very plain.


bingo.

to give just a couple of examples - i think most brunettes are much hotter than the stereotypical blondes, i prefer geeky-looking people over 'model' types, and a good bit of strange fashion can go a long way to making someone look a lot better than they might otherwise.

it's all a matter of perception.
 
Originally posted by beech
Betrayal........its a beautiful thing isn't it? Doesn't it just make you feel so warm and fuzzy? Just like having your intestines removed with a rusty spoon.

So glad I put my heart on the line and opened myself up to someone. Its made me so happy.


aw :\

revenge, i call for revenge!
 
Revenge isn't really my strong suit. Its been suggested that I just "get on with life" but I'll give ya the hot tip, it isn't going to happen for a while. One can't just get fucked over and then wake up the next day and say "mmm what a beautiful day, yes sir e bob things are just great". So I'm going to wallow for a while at the bottom of a bottle which is doing the trick pretty well at the moment. 1 bottle of glenfiddich down, 1 bottle of johnny black to go.
Its great to be back in the singles club.


Beech out
 
Mary Poppins said:
^ precisely...

i think you managed to put it down really well :)

IMO

love...is like jumping off a cliff, but all you can do is believe that someone will catch you :\

absolutely terrifying.
Click to expand...

haha i love that definition of love ;)

well...over the last week ive been sort of mucking round with an x-army boy/security guard from my work. its nothing serious..while i dont find him as attractive as what i normally go for hes sweet, a gentlemen and charming. the downside is...he doesnt drink, go out, do drugs. he stays at home and looks after his mum 8o

hes also 34. but that doesnt bother me.

but hes nice! carries my bags for me. drives my friends around, drives me home...is to shy to even hug me or hold my hand. which is really doing my head in 8o but i am keeping it off the work radar cause i will lose my job if they find out..for now hes fun to do sign language with over the bar. he piggy backs me through my boss's nightclubs, throws me over his shoulder and pretends to throw me out...lets me play fight the othe security guards and just laughs at them...

so alls good...but im not sure if its going to turn into anything serious...i think hes a lil to straight for me...

*sighs* hes fun.

in short. phsyical attraction - definitely a necessity, but will not hold the glue of a r/ship together if that's all there is to go on.
Click to expand...

exactly
 
beech said:
Betrayal........its a beautiful thing isn't it? Doesn't it just make you feel so warm and fuzzy? Just like having your intestines removed with a rusty spoon.

So glad I put my heart on the line and opened myself up to someone. Its made me so happy.


Beech


i do assume people can sense the sarcasm in this post
Click to expand...

sucks to hear my cheesy loving friend :(

it certainly isn't the kind of thing you can just "get on with your life from" no matter how many well trot out cliches your friends throw at you (and you know they just want to see you happy again but that doesn't help either :\).

time heals (most) wounds...which is possibly the least comforting cliche ever. but...IMO one of the truest.

i think the worst part of betrayal is the consequent paranoia/self esteem loss that results when you don't actually know when the betrayal began, how far it extended...et al....all the gory details that you do and don't want to know at the same time :(

welcome back :\
 
Welcome back Leprechaun :) Can't say if i'll be around here for too much longer, but i'm sure some of the old familar faces will make you feel right at home ;)
 
*starfalls69* said:
haha i love that definition of love ;)

well...over the last week ive been sort of mucking round with an x-army boy/security guard from my work. its nothing serious..while i dont find him as attractive as what i normally go for hes sweet, a gentlemen and charming. the downside is...he doesnt drink, go out, do drugs. he stays at home and looks after his mum 8o

hes also 34. but that doesnt bother me.

but hes nice! carries my bags for me. drives my friends around, drives me home...is to shy to even hug me or hold my hand. which is really doing my head in 8o but i am keeping it off the work radar cause i will lose my job if they find out..for now hes fun to do sign language with over the bar. he piggy backs me through my boss's nightclubs, throws me over his shoulder and pretends to throw me out...lets me play fight the othe security guards and just laughs at them...

so alls good...but im not sure if its going to turn into anything serious...i think hes a lil to straight for me...

*sighs* hes fun.



exactly
Click to expand...

dont take this the wrong way but why look at it sexualy??
look at it more as posability of a close friendship
some times they are more fullfiling than any physical relationship

it is partly because of one of those close bond friendships that i chose to leave every thing behind and move to melbounre
than and this city is so much better than sydney physicaly and mentaly for me. but if it hadnt been for the friendship of some one here i wouldnt have made the move so willingly, they are my confidarnt, best friend and the person there to kick me up the arse and help me pick up the pieces when the relationship im in ends badly (empthasis on teh kicking my arse for being stupid)
 
haha, I just read what you guys replied.

I'll keep it in mind, I'm only starting to come out of this "social shell" thing, probably from the earlier years of high school my self confidence was pretty bashed, sort of lasted for a few years (lol) but fuck I am over it, I'm not "ugly" now though (before I had pretty bad acne), so at least I have some self confidence =D, most girls call me "cute" more then anything, but they also have said that I'm better off a friend then anything else. So, I should try meet some new people I guess.

I know most of you don't bite at all, but you are all too different. No matter how much I try to do something, it always results in failure (but I haven't tried much).

But hey, thanks for your replies =D Now there aren't any cool chicks on the coast who just happen to be around the same age as me, please ?
















Yes, I am joking. :)
 
Leprechaun said:
Hehehe... I am newly single. I think either way, your always looking for something, so make the most of the moments you have. ;)
Click to expand...

*hugs* sorry to hear babe.

magpi: i do understand what you are saying. im really not sure what i want right now...i know i want a relationship with him (friends or whatever im not sure) but im just not sure hes the right one...and i dont want to break his heart. which i can see happening... the whole friends thing im not sure will work with him because of his personality...if i reject him (serious girlfirend way) its going to be messy...not go down well and i will lose his friendship all together...

hes a lovely guy but i can see myself getting bored...

i went out on a date last night with another guy and was totally blown away at how different the two of the guys im mulling over are...

i get myself into so many pickles... :\
 
Or Dontchya Think We'd Have That *Spark*.... ;)

up all night said:


Someone should tell you that using big words only makes you look like a self righteous prick.

_____

We all know you can't control who you fall in love with and I don't believe you should have to 'settle' for someone who you don't love but I'm starting to realise that there are so many different definitions of love... and I'm not sure which the supposedly healthy one is.

I've always believed that people should only ever settle for that crazy, manic love where that person means everything to you, which is the sort of relationship I'm in now. I'm not really a very passionate person [read: I'm one of the most apathetic people you'll ever meet] but this guy drives me crazy and I love it. But things are never stable, we fight all the time and he's the most unreliable person in the world.

My last boyfriend was quite the opposite. I trusted him completely, we never fought and I knew that he would always be there when I needed him... but it didn't work out. That being said, he would have made the perfect, stereotypical husband.

So, what do you guys think? Are you the sort of person who chases a spark or the sort of person who prefers the 'dependable' types. Which do you think is the better type of person to date?
Click to expand...


Can you be crazymaniclove&reliable/dependable
AT THE SAME TIME?!?

Caus I think Ima like that.
So cool am I.
Cooler than AKON.

So, Miss UAN,
hyperthetically if I was single,
an' samelongwordabovedowntwannaconfusedKittyKs&'nix,
you & I could because partners-for-life.

Caus I love ya prose,
baattidue,
an' ya Sunglasses...

...which you occasionally would lend to me, yeah?

Horay for Miss UAN,
an' my post bustin' skills...


UnShame
:)
 
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