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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

just on rubber duck's point of "was it a waste?" i really get my hackles up when people refer to relationships that don't work out, or even just crushes, or love for that matter.

i think every experience we have helps us grow as a person - whether we learn something about ourselves, or others...i really find it hard to reconcile how experiencing life in any way is really a waste? you certainly wouldn't be the person you are now if you didn't have any of the experiences that some people classify as "wastes".

:)
 
^^ Bingo. Well said Miss Poppins.

Regardless of how bad something is, whether in a relationship or everyday life, if you learn something from it, even if it is just not to do that thing again (I'm of the opinion that there is something to be learnt from every situation), then it wasn't a waste.
 
Basically i think that no type of love is wrong or right. For me, life is about learning and developing and maturing as much as a person as I possibly can in order to be able to be of some use to someone else one day. Every type of love whether it be manic, stable, abusive, trusting, plutonic, endearing(sp), short-lived whatever all have intrinsic value to help a person develop and gain the life experience they need to achieve whatever it is they are all about. I do not think that the "perfect" love exists, just like the "perfect" partnet does not exist. When you fantasize about certain something/ someone in your life its usually because of some imbalance in yourself, rather than in the partner. I can tell you now that the perfect love, and the perfect balance of partner are the one that you have now, and I believe this wanky crap because I believe you are together for the purposes of discovering more about yourself and who you are.

Every experience you have with someone teaches you more about who you are and what you are on about. I would not chose to have a balanced love, because its existence is impossible, and anything in its extremity is better interpreted.








yes i understand it, thats all that matters
 
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muzby said:
fine..

lets spice this up a bit..

i LOVE being single...

why?

because i don't have an annoying bitch that i have to answer to all the time..

i can pick up random girls and not have to hide my cheating from anyone..

i can treat these random girls like the trash that they are...

single is great, because you can tell a girl you are going to call, and then don't.. this way, you let them down gently.. girls hate closure.. so don't give it to them...


lol.. Will well done on such a great essay, you are marked with a A+++++ LOL

and afterall, what is this love that people talk about? love is simply two insecure people using each other a as a crutch to get through life, because they are too weak to do it by themselves..

and for those people who are whining about being single, maybe it's simply because you are ugly.
Click to expand...
:p
 
Moving right along...

I've been on BL for nearly 3 years now and I've seen quite a few BL love affairs run their course in a pretty public fashion at times. I always have a bit of an uncomfortable giggle at the spats that happen, particularly in this thread. Something I've been thinking about recently is how people deal with the etiquette of breakups in an increasingly online world.

For those who have dated someone who also features prominently in your online life (whether it be bluelight, livejournal or other webforums), how did you cope when you broke up? Did your breakup become open slather online or did you keep it to yourselves? Did you or your ex continue to post or did one or both of you stop posting? How did you feel about posting about new r'ships or reading about your exes?

And to those who haven't had a r'ship with someone you know online, how do you feel about reading the demise of someone else's r'ship online?
 
I'm in a bit of a rush but I will briefly say that I went through an icky breakup a while back through bluelight. we started going out more or less because we were introduced through here, we shared common friends who were also bluelighters etc etc. there was some ugly mud slinging for a while and then i more or less disappeared from here for almost two years.

i have also seen my fair share of bluelight breakups and as much as i feel sorry for the people involved...been there done that...if you want to put your private life on display it will inevitably come under scrutiny from those wanting to have their 2 cents. its hard when the people who post are also your friends in the real world.

more later when not in hurry...
 
^ Sounds like fun! The cards and locks or keys are a great way to get people to interract... would be a good idea for a mass house party. Rewards for the effort is always good too. Go shots!

Don't think I could handle the crowd it would inevitably attract though. Besides, I'm happilly sexually restrained these days.
 
Found the crowd to be a fairly decent cross section of people, all single obviously, from 22 to 28, everyone was smiling and getting over being shy - as you said they put a lot of effort in to make it as easy to talk as possible.

People put in a bit of effort too, its like your standard club night except everyone is openly looking for a date :)
 
I'm out of here:

I'm still single, just no longer available, so I'm 50% single and rather than fence sit, I'll just hop off... to the other side. It also saves me reading this damn depressing thread.
 
i'm single

i'm also awake

this would be a lot more irritating for me if i wasn't single, and was sleeping with someone, who COULD get to sleep.

that's quite honestly one of the most irritating things about sleeping in the same bed as people. if i'm first to go to sleep, no worries - sucked in, but it's so freaking annoying when they fall asleep first :X

i want sleep :(
 
I know, I'm sorry Brad, I know you told me not to hint, but why should our love remain a secret... IT'S BECAUSE IM FAT ISN'T IT!!!!!

You told me you loved me Brad, you did, and then you want to hide our love away from the world like it is a dirty shameful thing... I won't have it, I won't have any of it!
 
enough of that ;)

back on topic (and since, yes, i don't want grant telling anyone about our relationship because of the issues that he has with obesity ;)) - how important is physical attractiveness in a relationship?

i know the issue's been done before (but what is this thread if it isn't a topic x 3; repeat ad nauseum kinda deal?), but perhaps it has some more mileage.

personally i'm probably more superficial than the average person. while i truly believe that some people can 'learn' to be attracted to someone over a period of time - assuming of course that they're not totally repulsed by them in the first place or something - i tried that once before, and it just didn't work.

i set my standards perhaps a little too high, and unfairly too since i'm not the finest catch in the world either, but since that first failed time i've always felt it's better to just be honest (with yourself at least - perhaps not so much with the other person ;)) if you don't think things can work.

i actually really admire those who can get into a relationship where the emotional connection is far and away more important than anything else, but i've always found the necessity for both. i know that makes me superficial, and i know that's a bad thing, but there doesn't seem much that can be done about it.

what do others think? (and am i cunt for thinking like this?)

p.s. i thought i'd already been auctioned off in the Big Gay Bluelight Love-in to pop popavich? did anyone think to tell me? nooooo... ;)
 
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