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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

I have been off the market now approaching 2 months.

Strange. Good.

There are definately perks. I might do this for a while longer.

Sorry guys - I am out of the forum for the now. Found myself a pretty girlie who gets me. No doubt see y'all again, but until then I hope a couple of you guys find someone like I did.

:)
 
its a long one but hey im still under the influence so i dont know wtf is going on

shal u almost killed this thread... it was no 52 0n my list :P:P

ok here's the update
as some of u kno i have fallen for a very close friend and have had feelings for her for years, last time i told her things fukt up and i was an immature little boy.

well after a little wake-up "chalk" whick turned out to be 5 times stronget that the usual chalk i use and hence caused me to go hypo for over an hour... i saw her online and since atm all my feelings and thoughts have beem so intense i told her after a bit of chit chat.

she was speachless most of the time, but commenting on certain things like "you shouldnt be sorry" etc....

after an hour of me getting half the stuff on my chest off she has now gone to sleep and we will soon have a proper talk, not through msn. as i said to a friend just a sec ago "My life Begins or Ends now"...as in the rest of my life begins now.. i kept her up half an hour past the original time she planned on going to sleep.

what will hapen between us i dont know, so long as she is in my life some way or another. all i really want is for her to be happy, if thats with some1 else then so be it. its just that of all the things in my life where 2 voices are talking in my head, this one has 3 and they are all praying that us being together will happen. (if we do end up together then i am thinking marrige in case u were wondering, thats how serious i am)

she is a close family friend who is from the latin church community (like me) and her family and ours have a relationship like as if she were my cuzin. she has changed my life, and i now realise how stoopid some of my actions were which i did just to fit in (i.e. lieing to a girl at schoolies saying that i was not a virgin, only so that i may lose my virinity to her (that was very shit sex and i highly regret it, since then i pass on every oppertunity for sex, regardless of who it is and how attracted i am to then, the only time i have gone ahead i was way to drunk/other to get it up)

what is now bothering me is what will happen. we shal soon talk, and i have no clue what will happen, and as much as i do car i kinda an pretending to myself that it wont affect me that much. many of you prob wouldnt have the closest clue as to how i feel about her, but my feelings are strong.

so does any1 have any ideas in wtf i should do now? i mean seriously here people, please dont stuff around with me.

(this is going in SLM too)
-dee
 
onetwothreefour said:
i'm so despreate. i'd fuck a badger. a hot one, thogh,
Click to expand...
I've always said ...

"I'm so desperate i'd fuck a black snake with an infested asshole .. but only if somebody held its head."

a la rodney rude style. i think ???

either way, its probably more desperate than fucking a badger ;) ;)

edit: I'm desperate enough to do the above, but not desperate enough to post more than twice in 30 pages of this thread.

I like the circle (ring) theory and the ladder theory. Maybe I'll elaborate on these when this thread reaches page 60 ... but for now its back to living my life with justification. Enjoy wallowing in your self pity everyone, it (sometimes) makes for enjoyable reading :)
 
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^^ Haha pinkness i think you're ready for the lounge.. go on.. you know you want to!! ;)

is it a good or bad thing if you consider yourself 'desperate' but then you still turn down sex? :\
 
Man - I'm only as single as I want to be! :D

Choice baby, choice!

shals :)
 
CHE, i feel ya...

che - well man, you can only wait and see. I know it's hard but you need to realise that if you feel that strongly about someone and she now KNOWS the way you feel, she has all the power. She is the puppeteer pulling all your strings. I don't know the background between you so i can't give that much insight but anytime you lay down your feelings on the table like that, it puts you in a position of vulnerability.

The 3 voices are all 'praying' that you will be together... hmm, it oozes desperation and intense emotion. It comes down to whether she feels the same way and from what you've said so far i'd say its unlikely she does. If she did she would've been happy and more enthusiastic when you told her, not speechless and telling you 'you shouldnt be sorry'. Basically man, i've been in your situation... fallin for a long time friend. Except ours was complicated, each had a partner at the time and we'd had a history of liking each other on and off. What eventuated was an arduous emotional journey where i was played and turned upside down because i was so blinded by infatuation. So trust me, i can relate to your position.

In my opinion, it is much better to SHOW how you feel than to tell how you feel. For example, if you were hanging out with her and things were getting really close and there was that moment... when you could just go for the kiss. You'd know then and there where you stood. If she felt the same for you she'd be down with it. The problem is, once youve been friends for so long there is a certain pretext for the relationship where its not really flirty/touchy feely and its fucking hard to break out of that. Hence why it's called the friend trap. You get sucked into a draining emotional investment with no real returns.

So, theres plenty of other chicks out there. I know that at the moment it seems like NO-ONE can compare to her but if you don't get the response your looking for, you need to move on. It'll be hard but you need a reality check - 'if i can't have her, is it worth feeling this way?'

Peace

Adikkal
 
adikkal - awesome advice.
im kinda in a similar situation. getting on amazing with this chick. and want to take it further but i dont know whether i can get her past the friend stage. i think the fact she kinda has a feeling that im keen, the "chase" has gone for her so its never as exciting as trying to hook up with something u know yu cant have.

maybe finding someone else will allow her jealousy emotion to come to play?
 
lethal combination

maybe finding someone else will allow her jealousy emotion to come to play?
Click to expand...


This is the kind of thing that usually backfires...it may well be true - but the 'jealousy' emotion does not always manifest itself in a way which will facilitate you two getting together.

I have seen guys do this, and even though in the back of my mind I know why they are doing it, it still really hurts and you're more likely to get her slapping you or not speaking to you (if she does like you) or just laughing and ignoring you (if she doesn't like you)...

Sure - if you find someone else, that's great, but do not mess around with two people's emotions as well as your own...recipe for disaster...

Sorry to be negative, but I have seen this situation fail too many times...

It's much better to be honest with her and just make the move. Dishonesty breeds awkward situations, and playing her off requires just as much effort as actually going for the girl you like...Good Luck!
 
adikkal - awesome advice.
im kinda in a similar situation. getting on amazing with this chick. and want to take it further but i dont know whether i can get her past the friend stage. i think the fact she kinda has a feeling that im keen, the "chase" has gone for her so its never as exciting as trying to hook up with something u know yu cant have.

maybe finding someone else will allow her jealousy emotion to come to play?
 
it's a two way situation, you see, when you have someone - it's great, when you have no one - that's great too.


but then there are times you don't have someone, but wished you did - they suck.


but think of how great it is, when you don't have to put up with continuous complaining and bitching.


I'm single and I love it :D
 
Monty - My advice in that situation would be not to deliberately hook in with another chick just to make the girl ure after jealous. A move like that is really transparent and as Mary Poppins said, fucks with 2 peoples emotions. So, with this friend i presume you guys see each other quite alot and have a real good relationship but theres that awkwardness of not knowing how to take it to the next step. What I would suggest instead of trying to make her jealous which might blow up in your face, just start seeing her less. Show her you have an exciting life outside of her. See some other girls because you want to see other girls, not necessarily to hook in with but just to hang out with (like you would be doin with the one ure interested in).

It's important that you don't become too available for her because if she feels that you will always be there and that she's special to you, she gets the feeling that she already has you, and as you said "its never as exciting without the chase". So make her chase you. Hang out with some other people for a while, see her less and have her making the initiative to be with you. By taking away something she will realise what it actually means to her. Play it cool for a while and occupy yourself with other things and as her anticipation and intrigue builds "whats goin on? how come he isnt calling me etc" so will your stakes. When you feel its the right time, schedule some time with her and make it FUCKING GOOD. You want her to have an awesome time, turn up the flirting, pay her out etc - keep it fun and lighthearted. Basically the principle is, take away something for a while then give it back better and stronger. Say if you watched TV all the time and someone took away your TV for 2 weeks, then gave you back a big screen TV with surround sound and all that shit... that's an analogy for what i'm gettin at.

Good luck dude, lemme know how it goes, PM or email [email protected] if u dont wanna post here.

Adikkal
 
*shakes fist of shame at her bubby DJC* DAMN YOU BOY!!! Now look what you made me do!! I can't believe I just read all that 8(
 
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