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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

Mowy: If you did made the singles thread quieter (but I don't think it was 'cos of your posts), then that's only a good thing IMHO, we need more posts like your last few... :)
Insomnia: I wouldn't say girls in general don't want relationships...
 
Hi Gelly *wave* I hear you!
Insomnia: I wouldn't say that *grin*. I think it's more a matter of balance, it's so hard to get it right these days. we all think too much, want too much, want our own lives and the other person too. Either I fall in love and they don't, or it's vice versa, or in the case of the last one we were forced apart by distance and he decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Plus with the whole 'equality' thing there's no defined roles anymore.
So what are we all to do? It's getting to the point where it's all too hard! I know there's more fish in the sea, but I'm getting a little tired of working whether it should be me or him baiting the hook, using the lure, winding the reel, having to let it back out cos the fish needs some 'space', maybe catching the fish only to have to throw it back, or be bitten on the finger *grin*, or to find out it's scarred and not really interested in being your fish.
Hmmm... I was in a positive mood yesterday... monday/tuesday blues anyone?! :) I hate fish!
 
Originally posted by 2 of Cups:
I think it's more a matter of balance, it's so hard to get it right these days. we all think too much, want too much, want our own lives and the other person too. Either I fall in love and they don't, or it's vice versa

Exactly....I think relationships are a matter of luck and timing. Finding the right person is hard, finding the right time is hard, having both these factors combine.....well I'm surprised there's anyone in a successful relationship!!
mmmm...I don't like those odds.
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ooops, meant to say I hate ~fishing~ too *nods back at Tarsy, and at up all night*, not fish (and whatever that may imply from the analogy in my previous post ;) .
But yeah, the odds are decreasing as the jaded factor rises ;) . This isn't in contrast to my other post on relationships and why we want them, cos I still believe it's better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all! But the motivation to go fishing starts to wane. So if it happens again some day that will be nice :) .
PS what is this neverending orgy sposed to be about anyway? I don't see no orgy! Why wasn't I invited? ;) I heard being single was all about neverending orgies... I was lied to dammit!
[ 23 April 2002: Message edited by: 2 of Cups ]
 
Life is just too dam confusing these days. My friends are settling down and getting married havening kids etc and while I'd like a relationship and someone to cuddle up with. a large part of me likes being single and going out and enjoying my life free of ties and responsibilities.
Magazines like cosmopolitan tell me its ok to not to settle down to later in life and its the norm. but when i look around everyone seems settling down young!
I want a career and everything!! but people always wanna no why dont i have a boyfriend its like which century are we in?
 
Originally posted by sydkiwi:
Magazines like cosmopolitan tell me its ok to not to settle down to later in life and its the norm.
Cosmo also said snakeskin was a great fashion idea....
Singleness isn't all bad but sometimes I just want to be with someone who knows me well enough to finish my sentences. But then when I do meet someone like that, they bug me. I don't even know what I want so it doesn't really matter if I'm actively looking for a partner or not!
Besides....you never find that perfect person until you stop looking. I just think if you're really desperate to find someone then you end up creating a false perception of a person so they fit to your ideals. We blur reality so we can fool ourselves into thinking that they really are perfect.
If you aren't looking on the other hand, and someone does catch your eye, then it means there must be something really, really special about them.
[ 24 April 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]
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*ponders upon up all night's post*
I know exactly what I want, which is one of the reasons i've stopped looking, finding she who is my idea of the perfect girl would be nigh on impossible...
Along the lines of what up all night said, if you look for someone of a certain type and manage to find someone close to that image, you're quite likely to create a false perception of who they are, moulded by the perception of who you want them to be... That's another reason I've stopped looking, I want to be sure I don't place unrealistic expectations upon someone... I'm not sure that awareness of the intangibility of those expectations is enough to ensure I won't allow those unfulfillable expectations to be our downfall...
That said, in the last year and a half I met two girls who fit that perfect image quite well, and I've known them both for long enough now to know that even though they don't perfectly fit my preconceived image they fit it well enough for the differences to be inconsequential... Go figure...
 
4 years. 4 years and its over.
*wipes the tears from my face*
If we'd got together 5 years down the track, I reckon we would be together for the rest of our lives.
She cracked the shits when I told her that!
oh well, better to have loved
 
Originally posted by Tarsarlan:
That said, in the last year and a half I met two girls who fit that perfect image quite well, and I've known them both for long enough now to know that even though they don't perfectly fit my preconceived image they fit it well enough for the differences to be inconsequential... Go figure...
Agree with all of your post Tarsy, but this bit above in particular sum it up I guess - everyone knows what they want, it just has to be the right mix of wonderful qualities and tolerable flaws for a relationship to work. Some things you can ignore if the person is incredible in other ways. And you should ignore too - relationships end up being about expectations, and therefore compromise should follow if it's going to work. I think a lot of people spend a lot of time working out that the compromise bit is needed. :)
*hugs* to all the single BLs! :) Specially if you're sad today! (I know I shouldn't be too discriminatory with my hugs, but today I'm feeling biased ;) )
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I honestly don't know what I want. Not that I've really thought about it very carefully. I tend to just be attracted to people who have that elusive indescribable that makes them stand out...that connection.
Maybe if I look back at all the guys who I've liked at some point, there'd be common factors in all of them....but its a subconscious thing.
I don't know....I think if I knew what I wanted and actively looked for those qualities I might overlook someone who might be what I need rather then just what I want.
[ 25 April 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]
 
well this is my first post in here and i feel kinda dirty already.
difficult break up whilst living in bankok, and had to live with my ex for 2 months before i was able to leave. anyway, enough of the sob story.
whilst at dave seaman on wednesday, i met this really cool girl that i clicked with really well (or atleast i think i did, coulda been the drugs...), and subsequently have a big scary crush on her now. the problem is now that having been in and out of long term relationships for the past 6 years, i don't know how to approach things gently without make her think i'm the scary oily guy out of human traffic, but still want to be her friend.
to complicate matters, i'm leaving to go overseas indefinitely in about 5 weeks so i don't really want anything to happen (except i do), because i'm not even going to entertain the idea of another long distance relationship (i've had 3...messy). but i want to see her and want ot be her friend and...
*okay, shoot me now for being so damn pathetic*
 
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