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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

You know, i genuinely and honestly don't know why i'm still single. I Have been forced to give that a lot of thought this weekend, and i've more confused than ever. My ex girlfriend is currently staying with me, and we've come this close *indicates very small distance between thumb and forefinger* to getting back together. Or at least sleeping together. She even admitted that she still has feelings for me, even though we broke up almost 2 years ago... :\

This whole weekend has confused me completely - i no linger know what i want... i have no idea...

My biggest problem is that all the excellent people that i meet, through which ever channels life presents to me, live so far away from me (ie, in another city) that it never occurs to either of us to get together.

I have no worries approaching a random guy and making a move .. no sweat! But as soon as I like someone (ie. start liking someone I've known for a while) I don't have the guts to make a move. I try reading their behaviour and shite ... but never work up the courage to say anything. And I know I'm gonna snooze and lose ... ARGH!
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Yeah Bop - this is me also. This is me to a "T". It always works best when the other person makes the first move - at least that way you know they're interested in something

Finally - i think i'm having too much fun. Not in a bad way, but more in a "I'm flirting with people without any serious intentions to even be with them because i'll never see them again after tonight" kind of way. I'm a flirty person and some people take that the wrong way. :\

So for the moment, i'm just happy and cruising. Not looking for anything, but should the *right* person come along, i will not say no. =D ;) :)
 
^^^^ omg we are even more alike than i thought...no wonder i feel like we connect...u just desrcibed who i am and why im single aswell 8o
 
. As much as I do want a b/f ... the more I think about it, I dunno if I could commit ... I love clubbing too much .. and like the random pashes etc ... maybe if I met the right person things would change ... but I'm enjoying myself for now
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Bopgirl, you talk like the minute you get into a relationship everything has to change about your lifestyle. Obviously the random pashes would prolly have to go, but you *can* still have a bf and continue to go clubbing :).

Being in a relationship isnt always about playing happy families and visiting respective parents for dinners.. its about having a best friend who you want to do everything with. I've been getting the impression from a lot of people's comments on here about why they are single that there seems to be a mindset that if you are in a relationship you have to completely change how you live your life. Obviously there is someone else you have to think about.. but if you actually wanted to be with this person, then doing things with them wouldnt be a burden. A good relationship shouldnt consist of you having to change your lifestyle coz someone else wants you to do so, against your will.

Its kinda unfortunate that theres a bit of a stigma about being single.. the whole 'your life would be so much better if you were in a relationship' kind of thing that gets around a lot. I reckon if you're happy being single then relish it. Theres not all that many people who are. :)

stace.
 
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Why am I single?


Well i think it is a bit out of my hands, I suppose if I am to be with someone then I will be. Can't really fight it. So i'll just go on bitching about being single.
 
i'm now single cause my ex g/f thought that the whole "drug scene" i was in was really bad and didn't want to be around it. She asked me to make a choice and i did (there were other prblems as well and it was time to go anyway)
I like being single cause basically i have all the freedom i want, i do miss the cuddles at night but i look forward to the promiscuous life once again!
 
Ummm.. Well....

Having posted a week or so ago about why i was single and how i didn't really see things changin in the near future at all, things have taken a turn for the bizarre... 8o

... and i may have to leave this thread officially quite soon... =D

It's strange the way things turn out. After almost 2 years of casual afairs and one night stands, it seems that the universe is kicking me in a whole new direction. Which is kind of dumb really, because i was just starting to like where i was. 8)

SO let me ask you this: Why is it that when we are not looking for someone, someone comes along and grabs you by the hand, but when all you really need are arms to hold you, no one is there? This seems to be one of life's little ironies. :\

Personally, i think it's because people are naturally attracted to happy and friendly people, so when you no longer care about picking up, or having a s/o suddenly you become more attractive.

Thoughts?
 
Why is it that when we are not looking for someone, someone comes along and grabs you by the hand
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maybe cos u're not working with some preconceived notion of whom u think u should love, so when u stop looking, u become more accepting.
 
one thing i must say first...

stacy ROX!!

=D =D

listen to her kiddies, she soooooo makes sense. too bad she's taken, and by a top bloke to boot.

anyway, when we're 'looking', too often our focus is narrow, and we're held back by pre-conceived notions, real or unreal expectations, burdens and issues from the past, etc, etc.

when we're not 'looking', we have a much broader view of what's around us, and we much easier notice opportunities that we would not normally twig to if we were looking for specifics.

applies to a lot of things, not just relationships. we need to allow ourselves to be open to suggestion, and not cross off too many chances presented to us before we can have a proper look at what's on offer.

mistakes are often made this way, but sometimes they're all worth it for the one time when it all pays off, and we get unexpected success.

-fluffy-
 
Well yeah, being in a relationship ain't all its cracked up to be... i'm ITCHING for FREEEEDOOOOM.

I had a teeny taste last weekend and I want MORE!

Sure I can see it for its good points (waking up not alone etc) but really, you get so used to it and begin to take it for granted etc etc.

But one word of advice VERY contrary to some things other people have said...

When you've been single for a while and you're looking, don't open yourself up too much! Still have an idea of the person you can see yourself with, because sometimes you get so caught up in the idea of being loved, or someone loving you and showering you with attention and affection that you may not really have enough in common to keep it going... and sometimes you're in too far before you realise it.

I just mean that while it's good to not have TOO solid an idea of the person you wanna be with, but just don't end up somewhere cos you want it so bad.

So anyway... bring on the random pashes ;) I'm modelling myself on you from now on apples hehe ;)
 
I would like everyone to know i have taken the time to actually read the posts and identify with most of you. i also think its lovely when someone replies specifically to your post, so please excuse me for takeing the liberty here. ;) but a couple of questions, sorry i couldnt make centeniall park to see most of you, so if you dont mind ill ask here.

backo - how old are you? re: ur confidence but inablity to have a nice relationship i identify, but its very reassureing when friends say that you havent met the right person, because more that likely its probably true. i think that as much as you feel that yourself is a rare commodity ( for one of a better word), its hard to find that girl that compliments u.

queenbeat - condonlesnce from me. in a way i wish i was there, i wish i did have someone to cry over, but quite simply i dont.

punchepunch - i agree excuse should not be made, but everyone has that time of being...melancholic. the posts seem to indicate that everyone has defense mechanisim in regards to relationships, which sort of prooves your point, they are excuses in a way.

mr fluffy - i agree, you got to look at relationships in an analyitcal sort of way, and if they are wrong move on and be happy. realise that what is, is. and what was, was.

miss apples - lucky you. you have a boy(s). you dont belong in this thread..... ;) -grins-

fetish jester - what you said about people interesting you is how i feel sometimes as well. its possibly my drug use that i have a low tolerance for people who are unintersting. but you got to be careful, i look back sometimes a week or even a month later and wish that i had taken the time to "entertain" that person, or possible more so taken the time to find out who they really are. But at the end of the day, like me you sound like you quite simply cant be fucked running around with wastes of time. to which i lift my hat to you...

hoptis - uhh...i really dont know what to say, but your postcards made me smile. i've been at the front too. ;)

raz - *sigh* if it were only as easy for guys to have promiscious sex all the time. i would have to say that i have been guilty of too soon becmoing clingy, and i know that its been the result of some relationships ending shorter. possibley if i played it diffferently i would have a string of fuck buddies, but there seems to be something inside my head that refuses to treat relationships in a casual sense. which is frustrating.....i'd like to think now that i am just a bastard, but down inside i know im not.

candyflip - i tried anal once....it makes your dick feel like its a 2mm pencil in my opinion. ;) oh...i gave, not received. not that theres anything wrong with receiveing if you are a guy. have i dug a big enough whole for myself yet???

sorry...guys i have to run at work. ill add on later.
 
starfalls69 - the desire to just hold and talk, or cuddle with someone at night, that would have to be thing thing i miss the most. i can only remember one relationship out of many that i have felt an absolute comfortablness with...and she is getting married over in irleand. but sometimes in a breif momemnt of melancholic saddness, i think, " jesus, i would love a hug from someone."

bopgirl - oh bopgirl. lol. jesus, i think i have the same complex as you. i love my music, and my dancing much more than anything else. in a way, i think that i run away from the awkardness of starting a "romantic" relationship because im am obessessed with my passion for the club scene. i feel much more comfortable saying "hey, lets go get fucked on saturday, walk out of the place on sunday morning, go to sounds etc..."...rather than hey, would you like to go for coffee. As wierd as it sounds, i find it a bit..... of waste of time. But to qualify this, in the last 12 months i have had a huge social change for many reasons, and im trying to put my friendship status with people back together. Maybe i just need new freinds.

vurt - yes it made sense. cant be fucked replying though. ive been typing for ages. no offence.

cosmic mist - sounds like you me and bopgirl should get on it one night......oh and doofqueen.

fuck me! there are more people in this thread than i thought. i think ill stop here.
 
papermate said:
cosmic mist - sounds like you me and bopgirl should get on it one night......oh and doofqueen.[/B]
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Hell yeah! Us singles have to stick together :)

The more friends the merrier ;)
 
Haha Papermate thats very sweet... I think though that if i took the opinion that I cant find someone to compliment my character would be an arrogant thing for me to say... ive had friends say similar things but i dont agree... U have identified my confidence which i believe I do have but I had a really bad experience with a girl that kinda Fucked my head up around them... long story short I now get a feeling that I come on too strong when I know I dont and it is proved that I dont since then but having someone bail on you at a formal because they were going to meetup with a friend telling u it was because they thought u were going to rape them was a fucking hard thing to take.... needless to say i was really fucked up. :( those of u who have met me would see how this statement could never be true.

Oh yeah Im 20 years old.
 
Liar! You tried to rape me on Saturday night!

PFFFT!

Can I just say Backo, that whoever said that about you certainly doesn't deserve you AT ALL! I hope she gets her just desserts!

You deserve nothing but the best my friend ;)
 
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