Tryptamine*Dreamer
Ex-Bluelighter
I have posted in this thread before. Just decided to pop by this thread again - haven't done any kind of significant self harm in recent times though and really don't want to at this point.
What I did see, is at least a couple of people wanting to do this kind of thing, like cutting. I'm just going to give a bit of info on something I have found that works similarly well and does no real damage.
For me, there are two reasons I self harm: #1 Feeling the pain makes my mood better. #2 I self harm because I want to damage my body or shorten my lifespan (or in some cases, I do more dangerous things just to see if I'll die - that has not happened in a long time.
If you are wanting to do it to improve your mood, here is my advice - It is quite likely that the improved mood is in part due to a release of endorphins. Perhaps it also makes you feel better by distracting you from your emotional state. In either case, this can be accomplished in less destructive ways. I would recommend just chewing a raw habanero pepper. This did not initially seem to me like something worth trying, but it is what I chose to do the last time I felt like that and it actually worked just as good as burning with cigarettes and soldering irons. If you just want to feel the physical sensation to improve your mood, this is a better way to go about doing it for several reasons:
1. It has the same physiological(minus the tissue damage) and neurochemical type of effects as cutting or burning
2. It is generally completely safe *this may not apply if you have a heart condition, there are rare cases of heart attack induced by hot peppers
3. No scars are left behind - no trace of what you did
I used to put huge amounts of hot peppers in my food. I'd have tears running down my face the whole time I was eating. Everybody wondered why the hell I did that and I really didn't get the connection between the burning mouth and the resulting mood lift for a long time. My mom and brother would make jokes about me being a wetback or part wetback (that is their language, not mine). Perhaps that would be worth a try instead of cutting or burning?
I did most of my burning where nobody would see it, but then I started burning my arms and hands. I did not care when I was doing it but was embarrassed later, especially when people asked about them - nobody has asked in a long time now, and I am glad of that. It took at least two years for them to get light enough that people weren't paying any attention to them and they have faded more since then. It did take a long time though - if you are anything like me, you will not like other people seeing that. Opting for hot peppers will allow you to avoid that problem. Hope someone finds that suggestion useful.
If you just want too cause damage to yourself, then I guess that probably won't work - not quite sure what to tell you if that is your only reason for what you want to do.
What I did see, is at least a couple of people wanting to do this kind of thing, like cutting. I'm just going to give a bit of info on something I have found that works similarly well and does no real damage.
For me, there are two reasons I self harm: #1 Feeling the pain makes my mood better. #2 I self harm because I want to damage my body or shorten my lifespan (or in some cases, I do more dangerous things just to see if I'll die - that has not happened in a long time.
If you are wanting to do it to improve your mood, here is my advice - It is quite likely that the improved mood is in part due to a release of endorphins. Perhaps it also makes you feel better by distracting you from your emotional state. In either case, this can be accomplished in less destructive ways. I would recommend just chewing a raw habanero pepper. This did not initially seem to me like something worth trying, but it is what I chose to do the last time I felt like that and it actually worked just as good as burning with cigarettes and soldering irons. If you just want to feel the physical sensation to improve your mood, this is a better way to go about doing it for several reasons:
1. It has the same physiological(minus the tissue damage) and neurochemical type of effects as cutting or burning
2. It is generally completely safe *this may not apply if you have a heart condition, there are rare cases of heart attack induced by hot peppers
3. No scars are left behind - no trace of what you did
I used to put huge amounts of hot peppers in my food. I'd have tears running down my face the whole time I was eating. Everybody wondered why the hell I did that and I really didn't get the connection between the burning mouth and the resulting mood lift for a long time. My mom and brother would make jokes about me being a wetback or part wetback (that is their language, not mine). Perhaps that would be worth a try instead of cutting or burning?
I did most of my burning where nobody would see it, but then I started burning my arms and hands. I did not care when I was doing it but was embarrassed later, especially when people asked about them - nobody has asked in a long time now, and I am glad of that. It took at least two years for them to get light enough that people weren't paying any attention to them and they have faded more since then. It did take a long time though - if you are anything like me, you will not like other people seeing that. Opting for hot peppers will allow you to avoid that problem. Hope someone finds that suggestion useful.
If you just want too cause damage to yourself, then I guess that probably won't work - not quite sure what to tell you if that is your only reason for what you want to do.
I like hearing about the different ways people get through thoughts of self- harm. I still get the feelings from time to time so it's valuable to me and I think others in our little community that might be struggling with this as well.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
