BDD Social and Info Booth Vs 29 -Yeah! SCIENCE, BITCH!

[smokemctoke420]

Atleast you have a job, I have been trying to get a job for the past two months, and I've had little luck

Have you ever been on bupre maintenance? It is a lot less chaotic and insane compared to buying roxies, and chasing the high, spending all your money ,ect... With bupre, you go to the doctor every month and pay for the Dr visit and the pills and that's it. Much much much less time consuming than the insanity of waiting and buying from drug dealers, chasing the high, and getting the money to do so....

Bupre will save you money, especially if you have health insurance , and will leave you more time for other shit that normal people do like sports, hobbies, friends, relationships and such, your family will probably open up to you more and won't be on your ass as much with bupre, and you can start to rebuild your life while eating your cake too. Idk I get a very nice high from bupre mixed with weed, amps, and benzos, and even alone it has a nice speedy uplifting buzz/high/mood lift. Literally on some days of taking a normal bupre dose, I can't help nodding off, my eyes feel just so heavy...anyways, good luck man!

im sorry you cant find a job lac, that shit sucks fucking balls.

i appreciate you suggesting sub maintenance but its not gonna work out. ive thought about it before to. mostly everyone is against it in my family. im not even physically addicted to opiates, its all mental.

i can get high off 2 mgs of sub. im not looking for a buzz cuz that will make me crave the real thing and i know it plus any sub doc is gonna look at me and laugh cuz i dont w/d and i got a pretty piss poor tolerance. i wish i could take 1 mg a day to help me with it. i dont have insurance anyway and the 250 every 2 weeks ill be putting away for a whip would have to go to sub maintenance that i really dont need.

it would do more harm then good in the end IMO. i talked to my mom again tonight and its fucked up. i told her im gonna stop taking oxy, which i am. im getting the next refill, which is this sunday but she leaves on monday so she wont really know im bingeing again. but i told her i was done and swore to god that i really am done. i feel horrible about it.

idk, im gonna buy next sunday but after that im not even gonna try to dabble, im gonna try to cut to zero. im confident that at the least i can drastically slow down my usage.

anyways, getting drunk on some vodka. gonna go bring in some firewood since its supposed to rain tommorrow morning and i dont want to do it in the morning so ill do it while im drunk. after that i think ill reward myself with a bowl O marijuana.

 

[dirtboy068]

SHOULD have read this thread before making one.. anyway

first im a newbie with not so good grammar, so i hope im not breaking the boards rules. second, i know cutting and purity has been discussed to death. however reading through the older threads i didn't see anything that helped with the questions . i've done a lot in the past but wanted to try some just to party for the weekend so im no expert by any means. i wasn't too dumb about buying it IMO. i asked a lot of question and even ask the guy to do a line. well im pretty sure i got fooled good. the booger sugar looked real, smelt real, and tasted real but that's about it. i tested it with the gum test and when it made my gums numb i thought it was legit. however looking back my gum weren't numb right away, it took a little bit for gums to numb. the worst part was my nose after doing 3 or so big lines. my nose was all clogged up, runny, and sinuses were soar as well. i don't remember any real bad nose problems in the last. however it very well could be me i guess. the euphoria is as follows: speedy, talkative, lazy, introvert, heart racing. it felt decent but not like the smooth hyped relax feel that coke is known for.. don't worry, needles to say in down with that guy and ill even be more cautious in the future. im curious what you think, wtf was up with that stuff?? im sure everyone has got bogus stuff so what are your experience

 

[smokemctoke420]

i dont sniff coke cuz the one time i got it from this spic it was stepped on as a mofo.

from what i hear tho, just because your mouth gets numb doesnt mean dick, it could be cutting agents. this is all my assumption tho cuz ive only done a gram of coke in my life and i hate it but thats a good thing in my case.

getting drunk af with my grandma, bout to smoke a bowl i think.

 

[Pagey]

SHOULD have read this thread before making one.. anyway

first im a newbie with not so good grammar, so i hope im not breaking the boards rules. second, i know cutting and purity has been discussed to death. however reading through the older threads i didn't see anything that helped with the questions . i've done a lot in the past but wanted to try some just to party for the weekend so im no expert by any means. i wasn't too dumb about buying it IMO. i asked a lot of question and even ask the guy to do a line. well im pretty sure i got fooled good. the booger sugar looked real, smelt real, and tasted real but that's about it. i tested it with the gum test and when it made my gums numb i thought it was legit. however looking back my gum weren't numb right away, it took a little bit for gums to numb. the worst part was my nose after doing 3 or so big lines. my nose was all clogged up, runny, and sinuses were soar as well. i don't remember any real bad nose problems in the last. however it very well could be me i guess. the euphoria is as follows: speedy, talkative, lazy, introvert, heart racing. it felt decent but not like the smooth hyped relax feel that coke is known for.. don't worry, needles to say in down with that guy and ill even be more cautious in the future. im curious what you think, wtf was up with that stuff?? im sure everyone has got bogus stuff so what are your experience

Doesn't sound particularly bogus to me...it's normal for your nose to be clogged up and runny after snorting, esp. 3 lines, and that's not a particularly strange reaction to coke either.
As you said, we can't really help you cuz it could have been cut with anything, but that sounds like a pretty straightforward coke experience really.

 

[Toz]

Tbh it's the third day I've been on the needle. Got access to any pharmaceutical I want pretty much and started IVing diamorphine and hydromorphone. When I realised what I was doing I kind of planned to end my life. Again another sign maybe I'm here for a purpose. The pentin and oxy afterwards wasn't to try and kill me just to see how much it potentiated oral opiates. I don't know why I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I'm not going to IV again though. Ending your life in that way isn't pleasant.

I posted this in the dark side before: I think about suicide alot, wanted to go through with it some years back. Aquired fentanyl, propofol and some clonazepam, figured this would make a peaceful end. However, fear of death, or rather fear of the unknown prevented me from doing it. I know for a fact that things can always get worse, I've learnt this the hard way several times by misstakes I've made and some bad luck along the way. Well, what's waiting for us beyond no one can know for sure. Who's to say the grass will be greener on the other side of the hill. The hill probably doesn't even exist. However this life is the only one I will have, and no matter how shitty it is now, I hope I will be able to look back at it one day and thank myself for not throwing it all away for what probably is nothing. Something has to be better than nothing, even if sometimes when I go to bed I still think nothing would beat waking up the next day (I suffer alot of physical pain). But something might happen during that day to make the pain worth enduring. Even if it doesn't, that's not to say there will be something to at least make me smile the day after that. When it happens, and I know for certain it will sometime, I can take comfort in that I never did throw it all away for uncertain nothingness.

I hope you can find peace without drugs, starting on maintenance would be a huge step in the right direction. I think you are beyond buprenorphine maintenance unfortunately, a methadone taper then switch to buprenorhpine would be better. Though I don't know if you are in alot of pain, if so it will be harder, maybe it's a good idea to try and stay on methadone then if it works. I wish you all the best

 

[hangyourhead]

Doug, I would get this lightheaded rush that would remind of good IV heroin and my ears would ring, but a different ring than shooting cocaine. Then you begin to feel that distinct K dissociation come on, and QUICK. It's fun, but it definitely doesn't last as long as IM ketamine. So I used both ROA

Synth, Sometimes an OD sounds like the perfect way out. I've been struggling with an IV heroin addiction and suicidal depression for years. You get one shot at this shit called "life", might as well attempt to push through the bullshit and see what it's about?

 

[Toz]

My ketamine did not arrive in the mail today I'm hoping it will be here tomorrow at least. Meanwhile I've taken 2.5mg buprenorphine to kill pain but I actually got high lol. It was years and years ago I could get high from buprenorphine. I feel quite good, smoking some great weed (grapefruit strain) that smells/tastes awesome. That + snus is a great combination, I'm laying in bed right now just chilling and listening to velvet underground

 

[opiodmaniac]

Fuck Fuck Fuck… my dumbass is in w/d because i went on a little IV oxymorphone IR bender. well went to old dudes house yesterday so i could cop and he said he had some different ones but they were supposed to be the same. so me like a dumbass didnlt look em up first. (WHICH I ALWAYS FUCKING DO AHHHH) so got home expecting my usual wonderful blissful rush and got the worst gel iv ever seen in my fucking life… they were the BRAND NEW IMPAX opana ER 10mg and im sick cuz i wasted the firs one and the second one i tried an extraction didnt work and ate it and felt nothing and on top of that didnt even relieve w/d. and now noone has anything in this town at all and on top of that my last rig just broke anywa. (i have to drive a long ways to get rigs.) my day sucks motherfucking asss.

 

[Pagey]

^Sucks dude, good luck with the WDs.

If it makes you feel better about your day, I was just informed I can't go to Sydney next year to study abroad as I'd been told a few days ago. Huge huge huge letdown
Hard not to relapse on the speedballs right now tbh, but I'm trying to stay strong.

 

[laCster]

Bleh another day without shit to do. Could get high, but I really need to look for a job. Idk why the fuck it is this hard to find a job. In the past 5 years, I have had 4-5 jobs , and each one I literally was just like are you guys hiring? And the manager would be like when can you start.....

Now I'm in a new city, applied to probably over 30-40places and still have not got one call back.I have had close snags, but the job always never calls me back even if I follow up every week asking about if they looked over my application. I have gotten interviews and shit and no luck. God damn fucking suicide Tuesdays, I I woke up at 6pm because I don't have shit to do . No cable, no computer at the moment, literally just my thoughts and my smart phone.

These past weeks have been definitely enjoyable, I was able to smoke weed for a couple weeks and I was literally in heaven. Now, I can't smoke weed because I am afraid I will get drug tested at my doctors office in two weeks and I don't know what to do with myself. I know getting high will just prolong the inevitable and won't help me get a job.

Currently, I am out of school for a semester and I have always filled my time with studies and school kept me out of depression, gave me something to work for, now with no job and no school I just feel depressed. I would go job searching everyday , but I don't have a car so I have to depend on borrowing my sisters car and asking my roommate to take me to look for jobs, but they have their own shit and helping me find a job is not their number one priority.

I just feel like sleeping all day like I did today to escape, ans sleeping 18+ hrs a day really does the trick when I don't have drugs or even cable to entertain ne.

Idk this past year has been the shittiesr year of my life, and it seems like I have plenty of shitty months ahead of me at the rate I'm going.


Lol sorry for the bitching and ranting, I usually don't bitch much in bdd social, but I just want a job

 

[Mugz]

Mumma is cancer free :D

There was a mixup in her cancer test results and she is all clear

 

[smokemctoke420]

^ that's awesome to hear mugz. Glad she's ok

Waiting on my buddy so I can get some more green. I'm fairly stoned right now tho

 

[Mass08]

Mugz thats amazing news man congrats. Feeling good got a gram of fire H today. Gonna have a nice noddy night, wake up with a fat shot tomorrow and then buy some more! Man me and opiates are such a love hate relationship. I hate that i love heroin.

 

[Pagey]

I hate that i love heroin.

Don't we all...you may as well enjoy it in the meantime though!

 

[Mugz]

I should be asleep but I love it too and I've only done less than 1g of it in my life, but it was all good except for almost ODing, lol.

In recovery now though so shouldn't be thinking too much about stims or heroin.

 

[effie]

Mugz, that's brilliant news!

I can't sleep and was feeling quite upset/worried about various things, whether I'd upset a couple of people, how I never have time to catch up with all the people I want to talk to, how braindead I am feeling right now, how much I miss my boyfriend, etc etc etc.. all trivial stuff though, and hearing your news has made me remember that the most important thing in life is that the people we love are safe, healthy and happy. You must be so relieved

Pretty bad about the mistake though, I hope there's going to be an investigation.. of course, medical staff are only human and make errors just like everyone else.. the difference is, the errors they make can kill someone (or cause unnecessary distress in your mum's case). Still, better to give a false positive result than a false negative result and give someone the all-clear then discover actually they did have cancer but hadn't been getting the right treatment!

How is everyone tonight? My night is mostly full of insomnia and sobriety. I'm too tired to chat or to make useful posts so Im just bumbling around on the net hoping I get sleepy soon. Maybe I should close my laptop and try to sleep..

laC my lovely, don't apolgise about having a rant! Let it all out.. I'm sorry you've had such a shitty year things will improve for you at some point, though - I know they will. Sometimes we just have to get our head down and push on through the shit. I tend to sleep a lot too when there isn't much positive in my life. Things will get better though. I really hope you find a job soon

Pagey.. yep, fucking heroin, such a lush, despicable, gorgeous and disgusting drug. My faourite most-hated drug. I'd bloody love some right now, but I am on a very extended break as I can't be trusted with it, it seems and now would be the worst time to pick up a habit...

Mugz: stay the fuck away from heroin, please!! You've only done a gram and nearly OD'd, and you have one of the most addiction-prone and reckless personalities I know. It's so insidious but very few peope walk away unscathed or without paying a high price. No one thinks they will become addicted or overdose You and smack are the worst idea ever. Dave would give you a clip round the ear!

 

[Mugz]

Mugz: stay the fuck away from heroin, please!! You've only done a gram and nearly OD'd, and you have one of the most addiction-prone and reckless personalities I know. It's so insidious but very few peope walk away unscathed or without paying a high price. No one thinks they will become addicted or overdose You and smack are the worst idea ever. Dave would give you a clip round the ear!

It's so lovely though and you know who is to blame for my recent loving of it, ME, well I guess and the person that gave it to me, but they are not really to blame, it was me that wanted it and I got it and I loved it, I was just shit at chasing and didn't wanna pin so snorting was my only option which knocked me out a few times and a half.


I'm trying to get going with this whole recovery thing, if you are on fb chat then I'll tell you my dilemma now, if not then I'll sleep as I have a big day tomorrow.

 

[hatrix]

Bleh another day without shit to do. Could get high, but I really need to look for a job. Idk why the fuck it is this hard to find a job. In the past 5 years, I have had 4-5 jobs , and each one I literally was just like are you guys hiring? And the manager would be like when can you start.....

Now I'm in a new city, applied to probably over 30-40places and still have not got one call back.I have had close snags, but the job always never calls me back even if I follow up every week asking about if they looked over my application. I have gotten interviews and shit and no luck. God damn fucking suicide Tuesdays, I I woke up at 6pm because I don't have shit to do . No cable, no computer at the moment, literally just my thoughts and my smart phone.

These past weeks have been definitely enjoyable, I was able to smoke weed for a couple weeks and I was literally in heaven. Now, I can't smoke weed because I am afraid I will get drug tested at my doctors office in two weeks and I don't know what to do with myself. I know getting high will just prolong the inevitable and won't help me get a job.

Currently, I am out of school for a semester and I have always filled my time with studies and school kept me out of depression, gave me something to work for, now with no job and no school I just feel depressed. I would go job searching everyday , but I don't have a car so I have to depend on borrowing my sisters car and asking my roommate to take me to look for jobs, but they have their own shit and helping me find a job is not their number one priority.

I just feel like sleeping all day like I did today to escape, ans sleeping 18+ hrs a day really does the trick when I don't have drugs or even cable to entertain ne.

Idk this past year has been the shittiesr year of my life, and it seems like I have plenty of shitty months ahead of me at the rate I'm going.


Lol sorry for the bitching and ranting, I usually don't bitch much in bdd social, but I just want a job

Keep trying man. I've been there. Filled out tons of apps, even had THREE places call me for an interview, TWO of those called for a second interview. Still no job. I was like wtf seriously ? These aren't positions with high qualifications, I mean come on.

You'll get one eventually. I after like 5 months. My job fucking blows though, I'm ready to quit ASAP. As soon as I can get ahold of a different job, I'm done with this one. Slave labor at the least.

I know I definitely had that sleep all day mentality for a while. Made me feel even more tired than usual, sore and overall just shitty. Add that I did MXE just about every night and it probably wasn't helping.

Mumma is cancer free :D

There was a mixup in her cancer test results and she is all clear

Glad to hear Mugz! Cancer is a terrible thing.

Just plugged 80mg of 4-FA. Took 0.25mg of xanax about 45-60 minutes before hand just because I don't want any anxiety and plan to sleep at a reasonable time as I have to wake up early for class as usual. I actually took the last of my Alprazolam last night but today I refilled it, two days early actually and they didn't even say anything. Not surprised since it's schedule IV. Still a shitty sized prescription though. Have 19x 0.25mg left, but a doctors visit on Thursday to hopefully rectify the situation. I doubt the doc will be happy I didn't take the SNRI they gave me. I could always just say I did for a little and felt jittery, probably wouldn't be wrong either because the SSRIs they gave me did the same thing. They really don't want to keep me on Alprazolam but I think there's no harm always having refills if I don't take it everyday.

 

[Pagey]

Pagey.. yep, fucking heroin, such a lush, despicable, gorgeous and disgusting drug. My faourite most-hated drug. I'd bloody love some right now, but I am on a very extended break as I can't be trusted with it, it seems and now would be the worst time to pick up a habit...

Well put...good on you for staying away from it though, seriously. I'm trying to go back to snorting rather than IV'ing it right now, which feels like challenge enough, and I haven't even started thinking about getting it off completely yet but I don't expect that to be fun
I hope you feel better btw

It's so lovely though and you know who is to blame for my recent loving of it, ME, well I guess and the person that gave it to me, but they are not really to blame, it was me that wanted it and I got it and I loved it, I was just shit at chasing and didn't wanna pin so snorting was my only option which knocked me out a few times and a half.


I'm trying to get going with this whole recovery thing, if you are on fb chat then I'll tell you my dilemma now, if not then I'll sleep as I have a big day tomorrow.

Don't blame yourself for loving it...or for trying it in the first place, you're only human. Just please, please don't do it again. It's really bringing me down in every aspect of my life right now and I'd hate for someone (else) I care about to go down the same route.

 

[Mugz]

I know I was supposed to be asleep an hour ago, but just finished the whole season of HOUSE OF CARDS in a row on netfix, an amazing political drama with Kevin Spacey back on the small screen.


Pagey, I fear and am almost sure that I will do it again, whether it be next week, next month, next decade or next century. It's got my under it's spell now even though it's "just a nice feeling" "Yeah, it's nice an chilled" and that is pretty much all there is to it. I'm glad you have switched from IV, but be careful with snorting, is how I almost ODd I'd love to have a session with you, but know it's not in my best interests, even though London is only an hour away, and for that fact, so is Portsmouth.

Come down for my birthday Pagey on Saturday and you can be my date and it will be soo cool.