I've only been drinking alcohol, smoking a little bit of weed, and taper with suboxone. Other than that I'm clean. I'll be happy once I get off the subs and am back to normal.
I thought you took methadone for pain; did you stop taking that or something? I just ask because buprenophine does fuck all for my pain. They titrated me up to 16mg before I left this institution I was in, and I was still suffering from severe pain.
Well I survived an overdose today... Woke up in the park with the needle still in my arm thinking I'd topped myself. Then did 400mg of gabapentin and 120mg of oxy and wham again woke up. Guess life goes on.
Jesus Christ man. You are one lucky son of a bitch...I swear I told you earlier in a thread you made to be careful with those potent narcotics lol.
Tbh it's the third day I've been on the needle. Got access to any pharmaceutical I want pretty much and started IVing diamorphine and hydromorphone. When I realised what I was doing I kind of planned to end my life. Again another sign maybe I'm here for a purpose. The pentin and oxy afterwards wasn't to try and kill me just to see how much it potentiated oral opiates. I don't know why I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I'm not going to IV again though. Ending your life in that way isn't pleasant.
Ya, man. Don't kill yourself. I know I barely know you, but it would definitely hurt me to see you in the shrine. If you ever need to talk man, feel free to shoot me a PM, or I can give you my aim ID and we can talk there. I've been in your same boat about wanting to shoot myself up with the last fix I'll ever have, but luckily didn't have the cash/proper drugs to do so, so I can definitely relate. Depression is one ugly bitch with a loose pussy.
I also would like to make sure you aren't self-medicating your depression with opioids. This is a path that will lead you to even worse depression that you started with. The opioids stop giving you that high, so the one thing that makes you happy is now rendered useless and often becomes a dependency. Being dependent to a drug you no longer enjoy is no Bueno; I've been there before lol.
But I'll stop preaching, sorry if this post annoyed you in anyway in advance, but just trying to get you to realize that there are people that care about you.
Sincerely,
Doug
Atleast you have a job, I have been trying to get a job for the past two months, and I've had little luck
Have you ever been on bupre maintenance? It is a lot less chaotic and insane compared to buying roxies, and chasing the high, spending all your money ,ect... With bupre, you go to the doctor every month and pay for the Dr visit and the pills and that's it. Much much much less time consuming than the insanity of waiting and buying from drug dealers, chasing the high, and getting the money to do so....
Bupre will save you money, especially if you have health insurance , and will leave you more time for other shit that normal people do like sports, hobbies, friends, relationships and such, your family will probably open up to you more and won't be on your ass as much with bupre, and you can start to rebuild your life while eating your cake too. Idk I get a very nice high from bupre mixed with weed, amps, and benzos, and even alone it has a nice speedy uplifting buzz/high/mood lift. Literally on some days of taking a normal bupre dose, I can't help nodding off, my eyes feel just so heavy...anyways, good luck man!
That's awesome cloudy! Sub is a huge step from heroin, while they are both still opiates, I am able to live a seemingly normal life on bupre. Where as with heroin, all my time was consumed, waiting for dealers, hustling for money to buy more boi, getting that rush and chasing the highn my life was fucked when I was in active heroin addiction.
Idk about you, but I'm extremely psychologically addicted to marijuana. For last five years, marijuana has been my top priority. I'm hoping that in the future that I will be able to smoke once or twice a week, though people don't change IMO, they just grow old and adapt.I'm rambling but anyways... I guess what I am trying to say is that while mj and alcohol aren't as life-destroying as heroin, it is easy to replace one habit for another. Though one step at a time yah know? You made the biggest step and improvement getting off the boy, and remind yourself and be proud. It is no easy thing to do!
Stay strong man, make sure you have no free time and staying busy, I always get inside my head and want to use when I have free time with nothing to do. Boredom is my number one enemy
Lolol Pagey, I saw mugs say good luck with your job and I was like good luck too but now I'm confused
He already said he didn't have health insurance, so the psychiatrist visit will cost like
<snip> every month, plus the pills (if he get's suboxone and doesn't have insurance, he'll be spending around
<snip> bucks for it. I don't know how much subutex costs, but I'm pretty sure it's quite a bit cheaper...
And while once a person becomes an addict, they remain an addict til death (IMO), people can change their habits, and sometimes drugs start having paradoxical adverse effects from particular drugs. Me for instance...Ever since I was first prescribed tramadol, whenever I smoked weed, it would make me really panic-y, and I couldn't handle being around people (and weed used to be my top priority as well; well, cigarettes came first, but that was a close call - let's just say weed was super fucking important to me lol). Whereas, before the tramadol, weed would relax me, and calm me down. I do still occasionally smoke, when I do, I have to limit my self depending on the weed I'm smoking. Often times I will wait 5 minutes between each hit to avoid getting too high, and to avoid getting high too quickly. Most of the time I can't take more than 3 hits off of good shit, and often, I have to limit myself to 1 or 2 lol. This is the main reason I quit smoking weed for the most part lol. I do it once in a blue moon.
(Don't get me wrong; I'm not advocating the use of IV heroin, but I would like to give a comparison of the two evils and show that alcoholism has just as many problems if not more than heroin.) And ya, alcohol isn't quite so bad for your life as heroin is (a lot of this probably has to do with prohibition of drugs, and the prices in turn in which you pay for that feeling from heroin is a lot more expensive than drowning your sorrows), alcohol is an even worse addiction because of the side effects from detoxing. It too can ruin your life: it could make you lose your job for showing up intoxicated too many times, which makes you lose your house because you can't pay for it, and then your car is repo'd, and so on and so forth. The other issue with alcoholism is your liver. Heroin isn't nearly as hepatotoxic as alcohol is, and it's not toxic to any other internal organ, once again compare to alcohol. The adulterants in heroin might lead to hepatitis and enlarged liver, but there's a smaller chance of cirrhosis than from alcoholism. Alcoholism is also about the worst thing you can withdraw from. A hell of a lot more people die from alcohol detox than opioid detox (death from opioid detox is very, very rare) - You don't have seizures from opioid detox.
I'm starting to ramble now, so I'll shut the fuck up lol...
And ya, good luck with that job, Pagey.
I plan to dose 0.5mg myself, think I'm just going to buy a single strip, see how I like it, and go from there.