I try and balance all my resources throughout the month. That will include sleeping through several days on some Seroquel, a couple of bottles of methadone which also carry me over multiple days, my own scripts, what i can buy, some pams off a neighbour, and I still spend at least one bad stretch of sick, and a few single sick days here and there.
it's been bothering me though, the fact is I can't afford to get through the month functioning. and my budget is about to take a hit too. I'm not a party animal. and not a hustler to round up more. i don't think drugs should be illegal. I don't get whacked out or crazy, I'm a quiet homebody. I just want enough to function normally and to feel like a contented person who is ok with existing. I hate the element I am forced to mingle with, and am not good at fitting in with it, which they can tell and then i am treated worse.
It just doesn't seem fair. Even on gargantuan quantities of multiple drugs, i'm a laid back, homebody. I don't bother anyone or hurt myself, I don't see why I can't have enough meds that I feel right and not anxious or in turmoil or sick. My doctor routinely raises doses of psych meds past limits, mixes scripts that aren't supposed to go together, and yet won't just prescribe enough of a scheduled drug. She gives me drugs like candy to help with sweating on account of other drugs, and never thought twice about them and they cause brain damage, but i can't just have the drugs that work for me. no craving, no fiending, no acting weird, they just work for me. its in my genes. my sister plays the same game trying to cobble together something that works and she has a high pressure job.
i've been managing about 22-24 days a month, and in bed t rest. my budget is about to be cut in half. that just won't work.