Opioids Am I the only one who rations their doses to save money and avoid withdrawal?

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I always think I should ration but I never do haha. I always say this will be the last time I will get high no matter what and tomorrow I will start rationing, but I have never done it lol.

If you give it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised with how well it can work out and how rewarding a daily rationing routine can be (both financially and in day-to-day life). I'm in no place to tell anyone how to live their own life though, so you do you and I wish you the best.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I try and balance all my resources throughout the month. That will include sleeping through several days on some Seroquel, a couple of bottles of methadone which also carry me over multiple days, my own scripts, what i can buy, some pams off a neighbour, and I still spend at least one bad stretch of sick, and a few single sick days here and there.

it's been bothering me though, the fact is I can't afford to get through the month functioning. and my budget is about to take a hit too. I'm not a party animal. and not a hustler to round up more. i don't think drugs should be illegal. I don't get whacked out or crazy, I'm a quiet homebody. I just want enough to function normally and to feel like a contented person who is ok with existing. I hate the element I am forced to mingle with, and am not good at fitting in with it, which they can tell and then i am treated worse.

It just doesn't seem fair. Even on gargantuan quantities of multiple drugs, i'm a laid back, homebody. I don't bother anyone or hurt myself, I don't see why I can't have enough meds that I feel right and not anxious or in turmoil or sick. My doctor routinely raises doses of psych meds past limits, mixes scripts that aren't supposed to go together, and yet won't just prescribe enough of a scheduled drug. She gives me drugs like candy to help with sweating on account of other drugs, and never thought twice about them and they cause brain damage, but i can't just have the drugs that work for me. no craving, no fiending, no acting weird, they just work for me. its in my genes. my sister plays the same game trying to cobble together something that works and she has a high pressure job.

i've been managing about 22-24 days a month, and in bed t rest. my budget is about to be cut in half. that just won't work.

I can totally relate to wanting to be prescribed something that has always worked for you to begin with, but of course most docs these days are hesitant to prescribe anything stronger than schedule 4 substances. Hopefully with your budget being cut you can still find a way to get by, even if that means rationing down even more. And yes, I also agree that all drugs should be patented and legalized for those 21+ (but if they ignore the warning labels, that's not the government or drug manufacturers issue). Basically, they need to be treated the same way as cigs and booze.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Same bro

You never know if its gonna work out for you unless you try, but do whatever works best for you and more importantly, don't give up hope.

 

[Joey]

I wish you the best. I gotta ask by the way, what's meth withdrawal like? I know its beyond terrible with opiates but I never had a problem with meth. Never liked it that much because sleep is very important to me and being prescribed Concerta through highschool up until i dropped out of college cost me a lot of sleepless nights. I even get too jittery if I have more than a couple of caffeinated beverages a day.

It doesn’t feel physically like an opiate withdrawal does in the exact symptoms or severity but it does get physical for me. I feel so worn down, sick like as if I’m feverish and achy, anxious, incredibly tired and want to sleep and sleep or do more meth.

Wanting to do more and do more again is the hardest part. I was a heroin addict for quite awhile when I was 25/26 and got off methadone maintenance at 27. Had a short lived fent addiction at 28. I’ve been through some major opiate withdrawals and had issues with it but the compulsive aspect of opiates doesn’t hold a candle to the mental agony meth puts me through.

It’s the most fucked up, horrible agony in my mind screaming at me that I need amphetamines to do anything ever and it wins every time. The problem is that it’s meth is that unlike anything else, it gets deep in my mind and it drives me crazy. Even if I’ve sobered up awhile, it lingers on. I’m prescribed 2 antipsychotics now which I never took or had to take until after my earlier breakdowns with meth psychosis.

I cannot get off of meth for the life of me and it’s been going on for the last 3 years about now. My heaviest meth addiction has been through 2020, almost all of this year I’ve been a daily user. When I don’t use, the depression is unreal and the monkey on my back is more like a gorilla pinning me down banging on my head telling me to go fucking use no matter what, way more than heroin or fent ever did.

The physical symptoms I experience are the cherry on top. On top of what I’ve already described I get diarrhea, can get nauseated and vomit, lightheaded, sluggish, no pleasure in anything, complete collapse of all my faculties mentally. It’s the sleep of death and once it’s done all I’ve ever wanted to do is more meth. I had a brief period of sobriety recently, it didn’t last long. It never does.

I feel hopeless and helpless. I don’t know what to do. This is the most severe addictions I’ve ever had in my life and I’ve been abusing substances since I was 14. Over half my life.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

With pills, I always rationed. The stability of the regulated market just made it too easy. Once I started doing heroin, it became impossible to attempt, which was a terrible cycle of anxiety and escalating use.

That's one of the main reasons why I try to stay away from H (aside from its scarcity in my town). Smack is much harder to ration, especially since it wears off a lot faster than other opiates.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

It doesn’t feel physically like an opiate withdrawal does in the exact symptoms or severity but it does get physical for me. I feel so worn down, sick like as if I’m feverish and achy, anxious, incredibly tired and want to sleep and sleep or do more meth.

Wanting to do more and do more again is the hardest part. I was a heroin addict for quite awhile when I was 25/26 and got off methadone maintenance at 27. Had a short lived fent addiction at 28. I’ve been through some major opiate withdrawals and had issues with it but the compulsive aspect of opiates doesn’t hold a candle to the mental agony meth puts me through.

It’s the most fucked up, horrible agony in my mind screaming at me that I need amphetamines to do anything ever and it wins every time. The problem is that it’s meth is that unlike anything else, it gets deep in my mind and it drives me crazy. Even if I’ve sobered up awhile, it lingers on. I’m prescribed 2 antipsychotics now which I never took or had to take until after my earlier breakdowns with meth psychosis.

I cannot get off of meth for the life of me and it’s been going on for the last 3 years about now. My heaviest meth addiction has been through 2020, almost all of this year I’ve been a daily user. When I don’t use, the depression is unreal and the monkey on my back is more like a gorilla pinning me down banging on my head telling me to go fucking use no matter what, way more than heroin or fent ever did.

The physical symptoms I experience are the cherry on top. On top of what I’ve already described I get diarrhea, can get nauseated and vomit, lightheaded, sluggish, no pleasure in anything, complete collapse of all my faculties mentally. It’s the sleep of death and once it’s done all I’ve ever wanted to do is more meth. I had a brief period of sobriety recently, it didn’t last long. It never does.

I feel hopeless and helpless. I don’t know what to do. This is the most severe addictions I’ve ever had in my life and I’ve been abusing substances since I was 14. Over half my life.

I had no idea meth withdrawal was THAT bad. I always thought it was mostly severe jonesing and mental anguish coupled with feeling extremely drained and exhausted, as if your body is trying to recoop from all those sleepless nights. I guess its fair to say that withdrawals in general are going to feel like the polar opposite of how the drug made you feel, meaning with meth withdrawal you're gonna have no energy and wanna sleep away the anguish and if you were addicted to opiates you can kiss sleep goodbye. So with opiate withdrawal its more physical than mental or about equal and with meth its more mental than physical? Like with opiates you're at war with you're own body and with amphetamines you're at war with you're own brain. That's gotta be tough. Many fellow opiate addicts, myself included, say things like "if it weren't for the withdrawal, I could get clean" (and we would if it was that simple) but with meth addicts its a constant battle with their state of mind, making it extremely difficult to quit as well. I've also been using drugs in general for half my life. Smoked weed for the first time when I was 15. I'm 30 now, about to be 31 in a month or so. I noticed that when it gets to the point that an addict has been using for half their life or longer, that's when most addicts start to self-reflect and question their life choices, or at least that's how it is for me currently. Kinda like the druggie equivalent of a mid-life crisis. Sorry if that's a bad analogy and sounds insensitive. That's just my example.

 

[Joey]

I had no idea meth withdrawal was THAT bad. I always thought it was mostly severe jonesing and mental anguish coupled with feeling extremely drained and exhausted, as if your body is trying to recoop from all those sleepless nights. I guess its fair to say that withdrawals in general are going to feel like the polar opposite of how the drug made you feel, meaning with meth withdrawal you're gonna have no energy and wanna sleep away the anguish and if you were addicted to opiates you can kiss sleep goodbye. So with opiate withdrawal its more physical than mental or about equal and with meth its more mental than physical? Like with opiates you're at war with you're own body and with amphetamines you're at war with you're own brain. That's gotta be tough. Many fellow opiate addicts, myself included, say things like "if it weren't for the withdrawal, I could get clean" (and we would if it was that simple) but with meth addicts its a constant battle with their state of mind, making it extremely difficult to quit as well. I've also been using drugs in general for half my life. Smoked weed for the first time when I was 15. I'm 30 now, about to be 31 in a month or so. I noticed that when it gets to the point that an addict has been using for half their life or longer, that's when most addicts start to self-reflect and question their life choices, or at least that's how it is for me currently. Kinda like the druggie equivalent of a mid-life crisis. Sorry if that's a bad analogy and sounds insensitive. That's just my example.

Youre perfectly on point how you described it like opiates are physical > mental and meth is the inverse.

I’m 29 and going through a similar sort of crisis. You’re right that this is a major turning point. It’s do or die. Most of the lifers out there I think this point in our addictions around this age is where they finally lost. If I don’t get clean by the time I’m 30 or so I don’t think I ever will.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I appreciate the kind words. I know rationing doesn't work for everyone but it has worked well for me so far. Luckily where I'm from most pills still cost a buck per mg...when you can find it and if you know the right people, that is.

I'll just post a bit about my history to make a point: I was using 20-30 milligrams daily for two years. I didn't think anything of it at the time because my tolerance didn't seem to rise and I was still getting wonderfully high. Come year 3 something bizarre happened... All the sudden I was on 90-120 milligrams a day/fent at the end. This was never the plan lol. A bad relationship made my use rise exponentially. Suddenly an M30 blue felt as strong as a teeny puff of weed. I do miss those times though.. but now that I'm off oxy I don't know if I'd go back? (Who got dat clean Purdue tho let's hang out)

As long as you keep track of your use and notice that it's escalating you can just put yourself through minor withdrawals here and there to prevent it from happening. But eventually the sickness can't really be avoided. You always see famous lawyers or doctors being busted for heroin--and they're like "lol you finally got me!" You can really hide your use and keep that shiz under wrap but what you don't want to do is withdraw at the wrong place and time (which is bound to happen when you're consuming alot). You have the right idea though.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Youre perfectly on point how you described it like opiates are physical > mental and meth is the inverse.

I’m 29 and going through a similar sort of crisis. You’re right that this is a major turning point. It’s do or die. Most of the lifers out there I think this point in our addictions around this age is where they finally lost. If I don’t get clean by the time I’m 30 or so I don’t think I ever will.

I was hoping to quit by the time I turned 30, but now that I'm about to be over 30 I'm wanting to push trying to quit by my mid-30's. Seeing that I don't have any children and i live in a sardine can, I wanna quit before its too late to save money for a decent home and raise a child (risks go up for women over 35). I refuse to bring a child into the world until I get my shit together and its something I really want from life, so I have every intention of getting clean (or at least from opiates, not weed since i see no harm in it).

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I'll just post a bit about my history to make a point: I was using 20-30 milligrams daily for two years. I didn't think anything of it at the time because my tolerance didn't seem to rise and I was still getting wonderfully high. Come year 3 something bizarre happened... All the sudden I was on 90-120 milligrams a day/fent at the end. This was never the plan lol. A bad relationship made my use rise exponentially. Suddenly an M30 blue felt as strong as a teeny puff of weed. I do miss those times though.. but now that I'm off oxy I don't know if I'd go back? (Who got dat clean Purdue tho let's hang out)

As long as you keep track of your use and notice that it's escalating you can just put yourself through minor withdrawals here and there to prevent it from happening. But eventually the sickness can't really be avoided. You always see famous lawyers or doctors being busted for heroin--and they're like "lol you finally got me!" You can really hide your use and keep that shiz under wrap but what you don't want to do is withdraw at the wrong place and time (which is bound to happen when you're consuming alot). You have the right idea though.

I've been rationing like I do for several years and so far I haven't had any major issues or setbacks, though some people who know about my problem think I'm doing nothing but prolonging my addiction.

 

[CfZrx]

Just wondering. Its pretty easy with pills if you only take 1 dose a day. I just cut them in half or quarter them. The worst part about rationing is getting through a couple of sleepless nights while adjusting to a dosage change, but you likely won't experience full-blown withdrawals. After that, its all about willpower.

Well, I am taking only 7mg Sub instead of ten this week, trying to keep tolerance low and stay low stress if crisis hits maybe a forestfire disrupting supply.

 

[CfZrx]

It doesn’t feel physically like an opiate withdrawal does in the exact symptoms or severity but it does get physical for me. I feel so worn down, sick like as if I’m feverish and achy, anxious, incredibly tired and want to sleep and sleep or do more meth.

Aw, man, meth WD is brutal. I don't think anyone can quit meth if there is a supply. Espec now that the cartels put fent in the meth, its literally worse than heroin WD.

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

Back when i Was addicted to benzos and pregabalin i did anything but. It escalated further when i quit but didnt quit and always took too much. Nowadays my DOC is bupre 1mg once a day, and im rationing pretty well. Its a waste of money but it lets me live with relatively good mental health and allows me to be stable. I mean yeah im propably quitting it in few years but currently its pretty good.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I love all the people that automatically assume that if you use opioids (or meth, anything really) daily/on the reg and are able to retain self control etc you must be young and naive/haven’t been using long.

Sure a lot of people do lose control after a few years but there are those of us who can maintain control and retain a net positive benefit from our drug use.

Just don’t be too quick too assume your experience is universal and anyone who describes a different relationship with drugs is just placed earlier on some universal trajectory and just hasn’t realised what you have.

Opioids are a pretty sustainable addiction to be honest. Most people have problems only at the end really. You can go for years without anyone discovering you even have a drug problem but then one slip-up at the wrong place and time and your cover is completely blown. A 10-20 milligram oxy per day habit is affordable even by someone who doesn't have a large salary. All of the sudden they need 50 milligrams daily after two years and then the money problems/regular withdrawals start kicking in.

I do think there are functional meth users out there. But probably about 5% of the ones that use daily. A lot of the effects from substances are incredibly euphoric and make one care-free so they don't notice when someone is staring at them the wrong way. People can definitely tell when I'm ripped on stimulants and I can see them trying to figure out what's different about me or what is causing it And people have called me out on being around them on high dose opioids but can't seem to tell I'm on something if it's only about 20-30 milligrams of oxy. It's just something to think about if you take things recreationally and I have to notice these things because I'm in an "anti-drug" environment which is honestly bullshit. Most of the people around me are on something of some sort. People can usually discern if you're ripped versus buzzed. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend knows there's something off about me but can't figure out what it is yet. I should probably just tell him sometimes I'm on drugs.

Back when i Was addicted to benzos and pregabalin i did anything but. It escalated further when i quit but didnt quit and always took too much. Nowadays my DOC is bupre 1mg once a day, and im rationing pretty well. Its a waste of money but it lets me live with relatively good mental health and allows me to be stable. I mean yeah im propably quitting it in few years but currently its pretty good.

This is the kind of situation where someone starts to think "well it's been a while now so I may as well get off bupe." I get why they want to get off it but then most of the time from what I've seen... as soon as they get off bupe or vivitrol they're actually in a high state of potential relapse. At first the thought of feeling opioids again does not bother them. But then it's like an itch that grows to full blown body itchiness and the concept of feeling it again bothers them more and more until they relieve it. Something I've noticed about myself and others as well is that when people are finally forced to kick opiates they suddenly escalate their use onto other substances. Not only does this completely always fail to replace opiates, but it also causes them maybe even more grief than the opiates ever did. Sometimes forcing someone to stay clean off of a certain substance actually does far more harm than good. There's no answer to any of it lol.

 

[OntarioGuy]

I always think I should ration but I never do haha. I always say this will be the last time I will get high no matter what and tomorrow I will start rationing, but I have never done it lol.

Thats how i often get with my benzodiazepines

 

[Gaz_hmmmm]

I always had a hard time rationing my doses. Actually, I only do it with benzos, but it is not the same as opiates. If I have opiates, I will probably take all of them, or more than I had planned to take even though I am nodding my head and in my comfort zone. Even when the pandemic started I bought a 50ml bottle of ketamine of 50mg / ml, that shit has 2.5g of ketamine, I thought about rationing it and that it would last for months, but this was not like that, I ended up taking large doses and my nose was destroyed. Lately I'm going to the hospital to have my abstinence controlled, they leave me with serum for a while and they apply morphine, it's the only way to contain myself I guess ... here in Argentina there are no methadone clinics or something similar, I received methadone sometimes but the hospital in my city denied it to me after 2 months. So, I could say no, it is very difficult to ration my dose of anything, especially opiates, with marijuana something similar happens to me but it is not so compulsive.

It may seem funny to you, but the price of my DOC today is equivalent to 2 dollars. And I don't even have that, I'm sweating a lot and my anxiety is unbearable as is the pain.

What do you mean you go to hospital to have your abstinence controlled?

What serum do they use and are they using morphine topically on your skin?

Is there no form of legal opioid maintenance in Argentina?

How do you get by, just buy opioids on the streets with the money you get?

 

[Nicocastillo7]

What do you mean you go to hospital to have your abstinence controlled?

What serum do they use and are they using morphine topically on your skin?

Is there no form of legal opioid maintenance in Argentina?

How do you get by, just buy opioids on the streets with the money you get?

In Argentina the consumption of opioids is not a common problem, the rate of street consumption is not as high as other drugs. For this reason there are no legal treatments like methadone clinics, in my case a doctor is in charge of my treatment, a clinic for addiction problems. Anyway, it is logical that opioids are bought on the street, heroin does not exist here, I am addicted to tramadol and oxy.

 

[Gaz_hmmmm]

In Argentina the consumption of opioids is not a common problem, the rate of street consumption is not as high as other drugs. For this reason there are no legal treatments like methadone clinics, in my case a doctor is in charge of my treatment, a clinic for addiction problems. Anyway, it is logical that opioids are bought on the street, heroin does not exist here, I am addicted to tramadol and oxy.

How does your doctor treat you, is it with opioid maintenance like morphine, heroin, buprenorphine or methadone maintenance?

Do you pay or does the government or both?

I'm in the UK where we have the NHS but you can go private, especially in London and get whatever you want in the form of opioid maintenance if you have the cash, though IV heroin maintenance isn't as easily available as IV morphine or methadone maintenance.

 

[Nicocastillo7]

How does your doctor treat you, is it with opioid maintenance like morphine, heroin, buprenorphine or methadone maintenance?

Do you pay or does the government or both?

I'm in the UK where we have the NHS but you can go private, especially in London and get whatever you want in the form of opioid maintenance if you have the cash, though IV heroin maintenance isn't as easily available as IV morphine or methadone maintenance.

I don't know how to answer everything, you have so many questions from what I see.
Here in Argentina health is public, hospitals are public and you do not have to pay for any of that, except for some things.
My treatment at the moment is different, rubbish compared to the help you can receive, I am on 40mg of diazepam daily (I have been taking benzos for 4 years), venlafaxine, pregabalin, naproxen and carbamazepine. As you can see, here they do not know very well how to treat an addict to opiates, since consumption here is not so common and as I said before, heroin does not exist in Argentina, literally.

 

[Nicocastillo7]

How does your doctor treat you, is it with opioid maintenance like morphine, heroin, buprenorphine or methadone maintenance?

In the emergency room I have been given intravenous morphine to calm withdrawal syndromes, but only in some moments of crisis (almost always) but we still have not found a suitable path to follow with my doctor
And as I said, I have received methadone for a while, but the hospital in my city decided not to give me more methadone since they use it to treat pain, not maintenance of opiates, those protocols do not exist here.