Recovery Alcohol is not an option anymore

[Jabberwocky]

What the fuck do I do??? I give up.

Do I just run 30 fucking miles per day? Do I sleep for a week?

I swear the God the more I want to quit and the harder I try THE MORE DIFFICULT IT BECOMES

It's so much simpler of I could just walk into a rehab

 

[Jabberwocky]

You on any prescription meds? I also have a a problem with alcohol on and off for 11 years. As soon as I turned 18 I immediately started going to the liquor store. It escalated very quickly. My current alcoholism is ending right now. (knock on wood)

It's been 72 hours since my last drink. Probably won't last forever but at least my body will get some relief.

I wish you luck man..stay safe.

No meds. Have a bunch of bipolar meds I really want to start taking but these are drugs you need to be monitored on

Might just say fuck it and start chewing on lithium

 

[n3ophy7e]

No meds. Have a bunch of bipolar meds I really want to start taking but these are drugs you need to be monitored on

Might just say fuck it and start chewing on lithium

I say this with all sincerity and love in my heart, what's stopping you from just walking in to a rehab?? You've been struggling a bit lately, lots of ups and downs. Is it feasible? Can someone look after Leroy for a while?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I say this with all sincerity and love in my heart, what's stopping you from just walking in to a rehab?? You've been struggling a bit lately, lots of ups and downs. Is it feasible? Can someone look after Leroy for a while?

Doesn't really work like that here. Even if they had space available they would never take me without insurance or up front payment.

I do not qualify for a lot of things because I'm not literally dying or some pregnant woman on heroin.

I have requested benefits maybe I can go after that. I don't have insurance. That's the #1 issue. US sucks ass for healthcare and shit like this.

Don't get me wrong, I can go to the hospital. They'd give me nothing and then I'd literally pay THOUSANDS of $ out of pocket. Not worth it.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Fuck that
Come to Australia

 

[Iceman1216]

What the fuck do I do??? I give up.

Do I just run 30 fucking miles per day? Do I sleep for a week?

I swear the God the more I want to quit and the harder I try THE MORE DIFFICULT IT BECOMES

It's so much simpler of I could just walk into a rehab

Rehab, is great while you can Afford it !! Then what do you do. You need to change a whole lot of shit in your life, to live a Sober life “ If you are a Real Alcoholic “ man has been fighting this disease, since first beer and wine where discovered! The oldest records of all civilizations make reference to the Drunkard!
I really did not give a Shit at the end what I Had to do to stop drinking ( I did not want to die at 23, and I was !!!
I did detox, very $$& Rehab in Palm Springs, very cheap in Brooklyn, but Nothing worked till I found a program and fellowship for living a sober life, “ In Real Life” with all the stress, joy, disappointments, and Triggers!
good luck, you are a very caring and helpful person , who is wired Not to drink safely !!
all is well

 

[Jabberwocky]

Rehab, is great while you can Afford it !! Then what do you do. You need to change a whole lot of shit in your life, to live a Sober life “ If you are a Real Alcoholic “ man has been fighting this disease, since first beer and wine where discovered! The oldest records of all civilizations make reference to the Drunkard!
I really did not give a Shit at the end what I Had to do to stop drinking ( I did not want to die at 23, and I was !!!
I did detox, very $$& Rehab in Palm Springs, very cheap in Brooklyn, but Nothing worked till I found a program and fellowship for living a sober life, “ In Real Life” with all the stress, joy, disappointments, and Triggers!
good luck, you are a very caring and helpful person , who is wired Not to drink safely !!
all is well

I know I've been to so many rehabs in an outpatients, I just feel comfortable there.

I know exactly what I need to do, I just can't do it. I don't believe I can do it.

A lot of this is in my own head, but if I could just get some state benefits and see a shrink I would feel a lot better about my situation.

 

[Pickledlemons]

I know how you feel man, the older I get the harder it is to pull myself back from the brink when I fuck up. I fucked up real bad about a month ago and almost got myself killed. I know one of these times I am going to end up dead but its hard to give a shit sometimes. But regardless I've stayed mostly sober since except some mdma which isnt so bad ime.

Anyway... I guess my point is... I dunno what my point is... I guess I'm just saying you're not alone, and that recovery is possible. good luck.

 

[Iceman1216]

You can do it !! Because you Must do it !!
the party is long over, I do not know your age, but the next 30-40 years of living like this in Active alcoholism , will SUCK! I went to my first AA meeting at 23, celebrating my 60th on holiday in Bermuda with my family, and No one Hates me! I can also afford it
I am totally grateful for being sober ( I work the 12 Steps in my life)
I am not religious ( spiritual yes) do not go to any church unless a meeting in the basement! Please just take what you want and leave the rest. Sobriety for an alcoholic is a life time journey ! We never drink like a gentleman again.
Sorry I have buried too many friends , and watched good (great) men Destroy there lives and many of their loved ones, who Really really WANTED to stop drinking. The only problem they have all had: did not want to do the Hard work.
There is No Easy , Soft way! We do not get Struck sober, or drunk
good luck brother, Hope you make it

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Doesn't really work like that here. Even if they had space available they would never take me without insurance or up front payment.

I do not qualify for a lot of things because I'm not literally dying or some pregnant woman on heroin.

I have requested benefits maybe I can go after that. I don't have insurance. That's the #1 issue. US sucks ass for healthcare and shit like this.

Don't get me wrong, I can go to the hospital. They'd give me nothing and then I'd literally pay THOUSANDS of $ out of pocket. Not worth it.

Not sure about the laws where you are but since the inception of Covid, MOST states have made it possible for almost everyone to receive Medicaid and SNAP ( food benefits ). EVEN for people that did not previously qualify. They have relaxed the qualifications in other words. All it takes is an online application to you local DHS ( Dept. of Health and Human Services ) and you might be surprised what you would qualify for.

Most people get all weird when you mention welfare, food stamps etc. It's been a stigma for 40 years or more. Some are too proud to ask ( not saying you are, just speaking in general ). If people would just push their egos down a notch and see what help is available they would be surprised what's out there. Especially now. Get in on the fact that we need it now more than ever and take advantage of what your State has to offer.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Not sure about the laws where you are but since the inception of Covid, MOST states have made it possible for almost everyone to receive Medicaid and SNAP ( food benefits ). EVEN for people that did not previously qualify. They have relaxed the qualifications in other words. All it takes is an online application to you local DHS ( Dept. of Health and Human Services ) and you might be surprised what you would qualify for.

Most people get all weird when you mention welfare, food stamps etc. It's been a stigma for 40 years or more. Some are too proud to ask ( not saying you are, just speaking in general ). If people would just push their egos down a notch and see what help is available they would be surprised what's out there. Especially now. Get in on the fact that we need it now more than ever and take advantage of what your State has to offer.

Thank you so much. I applied a few days ago for food stamps and medical state benefits. Hopefully I get approved soon. No reason I shouldn't? I didn't file my most recent tax return yet but I don't owe any money anyways well below the poverty line.

For me it's a lot more complex than just a pride thing, but that is a small part of it. More general procrastination/escapism/avoidance lol. Hell I probably even qualified for unemployment, I'm sure I did... but maybe not anymore. IDK I actually think I could get backpay if they do that. Never check these things... It's so hard for me to do basic ass shit for myself sometimes.

I have a lot of questions and probably eligible for a lot of stuff. I need it.

If I simply got $200/month in food stamps that would give me $200 MORE dollars to see a doctor. that would help me so much.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Glad you got your app in. You should hear back any day. And yes you will get about that much in food benefits. My son kept procrastinating as well. He has had a full time job all through Covid and is also below the poverty line. He kept telling me he didn't have time and I said ffs, it takes 20 minutes to fill out the application online and you have already missed out on thousands of dollars in SNAP benefits. He has to pay all the stuff we have to ( rent, utilities, insurance and so on ) and is struggling. I quit asking him if he had ever applied as he is a grown man ( he's 45 ) and it's his decision. But why not take advantage of what the State has to offer in these trying times. DHS can provide so much more than just SNAP and Medicaid ( and you should be getting that too along with SNAP ) . They will pay utility bills ( if you have a shut off notice ). They will pay Property taxes if you are in Foreclosure. They will provide Child care and so many other programs that people just don't know about because their thinking is " Huh, not me. I'm not walking into no welfare office." Well....it's all online and NO ONE needs to know but the one who is reaping the rewards.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Thank you so much. I applied a few days ago for food stamps and medical state benefits. Hopefully I get approved soon. No reason I shouldn't? I didn't file my most recent tax return yet but I don't owe any money anyways well below the poverty line.

For me it's a lot more complex than just a pride thing, but that is a small part of it. More general procrastination/escapism/avoidance lol. Hell I probably even qualified for unemployment, I'm sure I did... but maybe not anymore. IDK I actually think I could get backpay if they do that. Never check these things... It's so hard for me to do basic ass shit for myself sometimes.

I have a lot of questions and probably eligible for a lot of stuff. I need it.

If I simply got $200/month in food stamps that would give me $200 MORE dollars to see a doctor. that would help me so much.

I posted above but I forgot to tell you that your Medicaid will also pay for any services related to recovery , addiction, and so on. Also the regular stuff like wellness checks and even ER visits. I'm not sure about your State but DHS guidelines are pretty universal across all of the US. Good luck !!

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Before I got clean on my own they would have paid for therapy and 30 day inpatient. Didn't want to leave my home and animals so I pulled up my big girl pants and faced the demon head on. My habits weren't really big enough to require inpatient but had they been, I would have been covered. I hope so much that your expenses will be covered too.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Before I got clean on my own they would have paid for therapy and 30 day inpatient. Didn't want to leave my home and animals so I pulled up my big girl pants and faced the demon head on.

I feel this. Been to soo many rehabs over the years but never had many commitments like animals. I'm sure my sister could look after my cat, she would love to.

My habits weren't really big enough to require inpatient

Mine don't either.... but they do.... but they don't... but they do....

It's so damn confusing.

My physical addiction to alcohol is not severe enough (??) to warrant it, but my psychological one IS. I don't know. My heroin/meth/polydrug addiction is all boiled down into my psychological addiction for alcohol even though I hate it as a drug. It's fairly complex and confusing.

But the point is I cannot stop drinking on my own. It's like 20 years of addiction all arrowing into one cup. It also apparently is a good way to manage my bipolar which I am learning.

At this point no matter how head strong I am, no matter how much I want to quit, I think I need to wait until I talk to a shrink or get some help or rehab.

Then I doubt myself so much this all seems like an elaborate excuse I made in my head just now as a reason to keep drinking.

all I can do is smile and keep hope

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Everything in due time. Get your Medicaid benefits rolling and then you can start making phone calls. It will for sure pay for your office visits and meds.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Everything in due time. Get your Medicaid benefits rolling and then you can start making phone calls. It will for sure pay for your office visits and meds.

Medicaid is federal? I think I qualify. Actually went down to the office when I had my liver scare 8 months ago. Got an application. Filled it out. Never turned it in.

I do a lot of stupid hangups like that for no reason. :/

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Medicaid is federal? I think I qualify. Actually went down to the office when I had my liver scare 8 months ago. Got an application. Filled it out. Never turned it in.

I do a lot of stupid hangups like that for no reason. :/

MedicAID is State funded. MediCARE is federal. So you will get your medicaid approved when you get your SNAP benefits approved.

 

[December Flower]

Doesn't really work like that here. Even if they had space available they would never take me without insurance or up front payment.

I do not qualify for a lot of things because I'm not literally dying or some pregnant woman on heroin.

I have requested benefits maybe I can go after that. I don't have insurance. That's the #1 issue. US sucks ass for healthcare and shit like this.

Don't get me wrong, I can go to the hospital. They'd give me nothing and then I'd literally pay THOUSANDS of $ out of pocket. Not worth it.

I'm sorry intruding with this question, but thousands? This can't be right.
How the entire US population hasn't emigrated to Canada I will never understand.

I hope you can defeat that devil on your back

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm sorry intruding with this question, but thousands? This can't be right.
How the entire US population hasn't emigrated to Canada I will never understand.

I hope you can defeat that devil on your back

Yes. Thousands.

Story time.

About 8 years ago I was blacked out on benzos and my family thought I was trying to kill myself (I wasn't, I was just high out of my mind). The police gave me the choice to go to the hospital (was having mental issues), or GO TO JAIL. Obviously yeah, lets go to the hospital. (I was literally passed out and woken up by police, but people thought I was going to kill myself, and police didn't want to deal with this type of shit. I was basically passed out and causing no problems when they arrived).

I got to the hospital, the emergency department. Told them I was just really high on benzos. They agreed. I was discharged within the hour, went home and slept it off and was absolutely fine. I never even spoke to a fucking doctor....

The bill was $3400. and I HAD INSURANCE AT THE TIME. Probably 10k+ without.

It would actually have been cheaper and less damaging to have the police arrest me and spend the night in the drunk tank.

haha go America #1 country