4 weeks without Heroin. Now as my name says lets attack the crack

[Lawless69]

Hey guys an girls
So I've done just over 4 weeks without any heroin nome, even when ya "Friends" offer. Freebies to get you to relapse, and make themselves feel better because they haven't got the will power. Feeling better more energy and less cloudy minded

Ive admitted to my close family that im still smoking crack amd was surprised with the support from them. So now today itd currently 3.50am and today's the day i battle my out of control crack habit. I've told my mother, daughter amd ex girlfriend (soon to no longer be my ex) that today is the day. I feel as I work better and more motivated by knowing im letting them down as well as myself if i fail. My 15 year old daughter had given me the ultimatum its her or drugs. She wins hamds down.

Im meeting my ex at 12 dinner today who has a box of diazepam for the first few days n il be buying an oz of fire weed to see me though. My ex is coming to stay to make it that bit easier n harder to fail and im on this. With my heart disease and had a double heart bypass this crack is gonna kill me sooner than the heart disease.
One more rock once i nip next-door n that's me done.
Cannabis all thr way. Wish me Luck guys ill keep reporting back. I can and will see this through

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hey @Crack attack well done on kicking the H man!!! That is AWESOME, and I wish you all the very best getting clean off the crack too. Family, especially children are a HUGE motivator and I know that you can and will do this for your little one Please stay focussed on your goal, and please reach out to any of us here if you need help or if you're struggling. YOU'VE GOT THIS MAN!!!!!!! Really rooting for ya

 

[Lawless69]

Hey @Crack attack well done on kicking the H man!!! That is AWESOME, and I wish you all the very best getting clean off the crack too. Family, especially children are a HUGE motivator and I know that you can and will do this for your little one Please stay focussed on your goal, and please reach out to any of us here if you need help or if you're struggling. YOU'VE GOT THIS MAN!!!!!!! Really rooting for ya

Thanks so mucn man, i appreciate it. Im currently next door smoking my last couple of pipes i have given my neighbour my glass pipe. To make it that bit easier not having things laying about.
Here goes im fully going to give this my best shot. Have these telling me that i should just smoke once a month pfft no thanks im goin to stay well away and stick to my weed like the 17 yesrs before relapsing. Appreciate the words mate

 

[Lawless69]

I quit a five year crack addiction by moving away from anyone that had anything to do with crack. I got rid of my phone and contacts and got a phone with a new number. I moved far away from my stomping grounds and reconciled with old friends that I lost because of my crack addiction. The physical withdrawals were nothing compared to my insane desire smoke crack.

You need to get the fuck away from where you are and the people that you know or you will never get clean. Change your name, change your number, change your address, change your friends. Crack will find you if you don’t.

That’s how I did it. 9 years clean now.

Well done its easier said than done. Before my relapse i was totally clean of both H ans crack for 17 years busy being a dad etc. I lived in the same area i used in for a good 18 months and then moved cities. I think once you're done and you're ready youll achieve it where ever you are. I do have a drs appointment later on today to get a letter backing me up about drugs use my mental health etc for the local council who house every one. This should go along way. Bcoz living next door isnt going to work in the long run.

No matter what im done esy hours today was my last pipes, i will update every few days. If i fuck up ill be honest and get back on the waggon. Iam ready tho if i did it at 19 years old for 17 year's i can do it again my daughter means more than any drug!!

Stick with it mate im gonna give it my all

 

[Lawless69]

I would not be clean today if I didn’t disappear from where I was living and all of the people that there.

I know no other way to stay clean from crack than to burn down the village that you used in and reappear in a place where you know nothing of crack or where to find it.

Does that make sense @Crack attack?

Definitely keep us updated. You are doing something great!

I totally get where you're coming from mate i must admit it got easier once i moved cities. While i was still living where i used i changed all my friends. Started hanging around in bars an smoked weed all through the 17 years this helps no end imo!

Im not saying the first few months ade gonna be easy especially living in crack centre but its do able i know this much its all about the bigger picture i guess. And the 17 years clean i was living a good life so i know what. I want n where im goin its just putting it into practice now

Oh ill be sure to keel updating. Thanks for the kind words bro

 

[Jabberwocky]

The physical withdrawals were nothing compared to my insane desire smoke crack.

so true. at my worst in my crack addiction i'd have taken not having to go through that over getting really sick on dark any day. i have never felt desperation like it, its so visceral.

i couldn't have got clean off heroin and still smoked crack. sounds stressful as fuck. well done @Crack attack!! like i don't even get how people shoot just cocaine. i guess probably cos i've never done crack without also being on heroin.

anyway, i digress. i really would look at moving at least out of that neighbourhood if you can. it will just make things easier. if i still lived in my old place, i'd have been able to score within 10 minutes, even having deleted my contacts cos i knew which flats people shotted from and where the other users lived. you wanna put as much in the way of using as possible, so even if you can move somewhere else int he same city, it would probably help.

really glad you've decided to quit before your heart gives out on you. and that you're getting help. that is the most important thing. sounds like you have a good network of people to support you. are you getting any professional help? i couldn't have maintained recovery without getting to the bottom of why i was using and finding healthier ways to meet, or eliminate, that psychological need. after rehab i did some great groups at my local drugs services and i have a private therapist- its expensive but when i was using i'd smoke her fee n half an hour so she's worth it.

 

[Lawless69]

so true. at my worst in my crack addiction i'd have taken not having to go through that over getting really sick on dark any day. i have never felt desperation like it, its so visceral.

i couldn't have got clean off heroin and still smoked crack. sounds stressful as fuck. well done @Crack attack!! like i don't even get how people shoot just cocaine. i guess probably cos i've never done crack without also being on heroin.

anyway, i digress. i really would look at moving at least out of that neighbourhood if you can. it will just make things easier. if i still lived in my old place, i'd have been able to score within 10 minutes, even having deleted my contacts cos i knew which flats people shotted from and where the other users lived. you wanna put as much in the way of using as possible, so even if you can move somewhere else int he same city, it would probably help.

really glad you've decided to quit before your heart gives out on you. and that you're getting help. that is the most important thing. sounds like you have a good network of people to support you. are you getting any professional help? i couldn't have maintained recovery without getting to the bottom of why i was using and finding healthier ways to meet, or eliminate, that psychological need. after rehab i did some great groups at my local drugs services and i have a private therapist- its expensive but when i was using i'd smoke her fee n half an hour so she's worth it.

Thanks brother i appreciate you taking time to reply i definitely agree about moving out of this estate i only mived here bcoz my old place was 10 mins from a dealer and i found myself going every other day so i was told by the council and the only clean woman on the whole estate that this is a nice area! Yeah right the woman on the eastate only said that bcoz i dont look like s druggy tame care kf my self with a nice home so shes said irs lovely ans quiet bcoz shes wanting non users up here obviously. The bitch lol

So i arrive to move in and im greeted by a empty pack of pre gablin out side my door. Great. The 2 burglars opposite sell H n my next door. The woman ive previously spoke about sells both crack and H ffs!
And now im friendly with her enough she leave me in hers in charge whe she passes out after a 4 day bender to hold the fort so to speak.

While i was off hd 17 years previously i csmt say i did get sny help bare back withdrawals many of times in youth offenders. Id get 1 x df118 at night lol
I came out after rouhly my 10th sentence and knew something was differnt where as every other time id get out and straight to the nearest deamer this tine i went home the ssme home i had used in. And stayed in didn't leave for two weeks snd just smoking weed amd every craving i kinda out a mental block on no soon would i crave my mental block told me NO!! That the honest truth how i made 17 years n it just got easiest n easier as yesrs went by. Took up bodybuilding ruined mt hearr with steroidd snd here iam lol.

I was always the same cant smoke crack with out H bekmg wired and paranoid nooo not for me. But over the months i can eat sleep and go out in public in between pipes

 

[Jabberwocky]

But over the months i can eat sleep and go out in public in between pipes

that's a big thing. i would be planning my next pipe while smoking the current one. if i tried to arrange something that wasn't smoking related i'd either be hours late or turn up..... including my job til i lost it lol. would intend to sleep every night then itd get to like 9am and i'd just be like 'oh well maybe tomorrow' then fail til i ran out of money and slept 2-3 days.

but, as long as you're still smoking, you're putting yourself in danger of getting back to that point. plus your heart will be impacted, stopping entirely is the best route.

 

[Lawless69]

@chinup Indeed i didnt think it would ever get to the point of being abkw to eat sleep an go out while on it ever , but that's the same with all addictions as i kmow all to well.

Yes iam or was at the point of spending 20 after 10 after 30 smoking right thru until 5.6am mist days accept bcoz this is going to be it ive been up two nights in a row, ffs!
Currently sat wired tf at tesco supermarket chemist waiting on my methadone looking rather baked after the big joint i had a hour ago . I actually get more paranoid by smoking weed than crack i NEVER Thought id say that

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Well done with the H mate, you're smashing it.

Honestly now, next time you get the just-one-last-rock feeling (which will be pretty much every couple of hours especially as it's next door), you'll have to remember that you've already had your last one

With crack especially I think, the only possible time to quit is immediately.

Next time you wanna buy a rock, donate to MAPS here instead and change your BL: username to something non-crack related, cos that isn't you anymore.

Chinup also makes a great point regarding private therapy. One session per week is gonna cost as much as a couple of hours using - if you can afford to use for a couple of hours then you can afford it and the investment in yourself might just be priceless.

We're all with you man, as you say if you fall off the wagon don't beat yourself up but just hop straight back on...and your essential being *knows* you can do this as you've done it successfully before..

 

[Lawless69]

Well done with the H mate, you're smashing it.

Honestly now, next time you get the just-one-last-rock feeling (which will be pretty much every couple of hours especially as it's next door), you'll have to remember that you've already had your last one

With crack especially I think, the only possible time to quit is immediately.

Next time you wanna buy a rock, donate to MAPS here instead and change your BL: username to something non-crack related, cos that isn't you anymore.

Chinup also makes a great point regarding private therapy. One session per week is gonna cost as much as a couple of hours using - if you can afford to use for a couple of hours then you can afford it and the investment in yourself might just be priceless.

We're all with you man, as you say if you fall off the wagon don't beat yourself up but just hop straight back on...and your essential being *knows* you can do this as you've done it successfully before..

Brilliant reply that is mate very useful information thank you
Strange how i can smash oxys up to 200+ mg a day for months ive done this twice now both times i just stopped both times i suffered no withdrawal symptoms none zilch slept like a baby every night. I was amazed after reading om here others experiences
With fentanyl was on 25mcg/hour patches gmfkr just over two years and sillu mr thought it cant be that bad n just stopped no taper nkr use of ANY other drugs well, whst a nasty hard miserable four weeks that was! Think heroin withdrawals and times that by ten that how a bare back fentanyl rattle feels lermt my lesson never again but i stuck to it like the oxys the heroin fentanyl diazepam and zanax ive abused them all to be honest!.

But theres just something about them pure white rocks that keep me coming back but as you say as ive successfully done this for 17 years i believe in myself that is half the battle!!

Great idea abour the name mate i will do this after a fee days clean alnost a treat so to speak
Thanks matey

 

[n3ophy7e]

i can do it again my daughter means more than any drug!!

This. This, this and more this Do it for yourself, but do it for her too man. She NEEDS you

 

[Lawless69]

This. This, this and more this Do it for yourself, but do it for her too man. She NEEDS you

Indeed she does she is my world my best friend. We have a great farther daughter relationship. She is better than any amount of crack 1 million percent
Thanks mate nothing more precious than our offspring

 

[Jabberwocky]

It seems you have all the right intentions @Crack attack (please change that name - I will donate 20$ for you if that will make this crack reminder go away...and I am not kidding ). The fact that you have walked away from heroin and are not constantly smoking tells a lot. Doing it for yourself is the way to go, but our kids are us in a real sense and doing it for our future self is even better reason in my book. You have some great support here and I believe that you will conquer your demons. In the meantime don't forget to be kind to yourself also. Keep us updated.

 

[Lawless69]

It seems you have all the right intentions @Crack attack (please change that name - I will donate 20$ for you if that will make this crack reminder go away...and I am not kidding ). The fact that you have walked away from heroin and are not constantly smoking tells a lot. Doing it for yourself is the way to go, but our kids are us in a real sense and doing it for our future self is even better reason in my book. You have some great support here and I believe that you will conquer your demons. In the meantime don't forget to be kind to yourself also. Keep us updated.

Hi sunyecho matey. Your right mate thanks for your reply!.

My intentions are true and serious yes mate. For my daughter and myself my heart to be exact. Those 3 things are more than enough reason to change. Some people aren't as lucky to have these things. Had i not got clean of both these toxic nasty substances..

I did look how to change it earlier mate went on my profile edit and couldn't find how to do it. For the life of me.

Wow my beautiful ex well now girlfriend forgot how beautiful she is. Size 8 blonde. D cup natural boobs n damm shes looking hot... There is reason, reason number 4. Listen guys I have alot of experience with beating class a drugs and saving what special people yoj have. You have to tell your self and BELIEVE you can and will do this. Habe you're final few days or weekd having fun! This is my 3rd night awake. Only evee done 48 hours then force myself to sleep and recover but as this it... i went for it hahaha last night until 9am i sat with my neighbour dealer smoking 3.2 gram in 20 stones! Half hour between buying stones fucking hell talk about paranoid wired fukery hahaha went for my methadone after a huge stawdawg joint shitttt walking through packed tesco to the back to the pharmacy felt like someone was gonna come jump on me... No rational reason why other than one wired stoned paranoid me

Thats very nice of you to do mate the donation. Im sure you must have some good Karma. Cheers again for taking the time to reply

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hope you're journey to crack free land will be as painless for all involved parties as it can be. Something as addictive as crack can not be beaten in a week. But you can start this week. We will try to encourage the best part of you to come forth. I am cheering for you man! And for your daughter.

 

[Jabberwocky]

@Crack attack I have made $25 donation so you can change your username in something less triggering. Someone will contact you about that in next 24 hours, but if nobody contacts you please inform me so I can correct it. And please change your name into something that will not be triggering in any way. Go man!

 

[Jabberwocky]

@Crack attack how are you doing man? Do you have any motivation to post here? In one sense I hope not cause I believe that if you're not smoking crack that you must be feeling really down. But that would be a good thing in this situation. Hope you feel better soon and are back to update.

 

[Lawless69]

Hey @Sunyecho
No yesterday was a nightmare /blur after 3 full nights so the 4th day fully awake if my partner, "Lolli" had she not if known my hatred n strength towards H would of swore to god i was under the influence of ALOT lol. I was in n out if dope up sleep all day saying things that make no sense or are relive to anything
Feel in to bedroom wall failing asleep as well as the radiator. That was a humongous come down like non ive ever saw or had hahahaa. Woke up at 1pm today in pain cramps stiff joints etc but all in all im getting through it guys!
& thanks for kindness @Sunyecho look forward to having something abit more personal. Much love my friend

The make up the sex was out this world after 5 weeks with none lol we're definitely making up for the last dry five long weeks

 

[Jabberwocky]

man get out of that neighbourhood now.

also if you arne't going to stop at least stop buying 8ths in 20 stones its so expensive. the cost is one of the absolute worst things about crack addiction and buying small bits doesn't help. my addiction got a lot easier to manage once i admitted to myself the level of my use. it went from getting bits of money (i was a 'working girl' and hadn't totally destroyed my looks so making quite a lot) and immediately spending it on points then desperately needing more money to disciplining myself to wait til i'd got enough for an 8th and then being able to take 6 hours off fucking gross men to just enjoy my smoke.

but you need to stop this. your heart isn't going to last forever. the more you stay up nights in a row smoking the worse it'll get. lack of sleep destroys all your bodily systems.

get anywhere, now. please.

you're in the same place as every single other person suffering from addiction. at a fork in the road between recovery and death. only it sounds like you are on one of the later of such forks, when they get harder to take.

your neighbour dealer is not your friend. without havng met him i'm confident he's a fucking scumbag, like every other dealer of hard drugs, and all he cares about is profit from you. so having someone with such a monetary motivation to stop you quitting next door makes your chances of success very much lower.