I am a strong beleiver in second chances.
The way I see it is the past is the past. It;s pointless to toil over events that will forever remain unchanged... What matters is the path you choose from this day forward. Not words about the future or your plans, but your current actions. None of us have a spotless past.
I have the opportunity for a second chance now. My brother's wife is giving birth in a few months & I face a crossroad. My soon-to-be nephew will not know of my past but rather he will get to know me how I choose. This is my chance to leave the selfish beaten down weak addict behind and become a person of value. Someone to look up to, who can be trusted- a selfless loving person. I hope I can be a solid role model for him.. someone who he will be proud of, not ashamed. He will get to know me based on the actions I take, not that of my past.
Of course these are worthless words at the moment..as I am still on buprenorphine and chipping once a week. I have the choice to continue down this seemingly endless road leading to hell on earth, or I can clean my self up. I have been tapering my bupe lower and lower, & in 20 days I will be at .25mg bupe and ready to walk off of it. There has to come a day where you take the last drug you will ever take...where you say I am done, but this time you actually follow through with it. Rather than that be on my death bed, my will is for it to come soon.. Helping to raise a kid will give meaning to my life which it has lacked for quite some time.
The way I see it is the past is the past. It;s pointless to toil over events that will forever remain unchanged... What matters is the path you choose from this day forward. Not words about the future or your plans, but your current actions. None of us have a spotless past.
I have the opportunity for a second chance now. My brother's wife is giving birth in a few months & I face a crossroad. My soon-to-be nephew will not know of my past but rather he will get to know me how I choose. This is my chance to leave the selfish beaten down weak addict behind and become a person of value. Someone to look up to, who can be trusted- a selfless loving person. I hope I can be a solid role model for him.. someone who he will be proud of, not ashamed. He will get to know me based on the actions I take, not that of my past.
Of course these are worthless words at the moment..as I am still on buprenorphine and chipping once a week. I have the choice to continue down this seemingly endless road leading to hell on earth, or I can clean my self up. I have been tapering my bupe lower and lower, & in 20 days I will be at .25mg bupe and ready to walk off of it. There has to come a day where you take the last drug you will ever take...where you say I am done, but this time you actually follow through with it. Rather than that be on my death bed, my will is for it to come soon.. Helping to raise a kid will give meaning to my life which it has lacked for quite some time.
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