So I've done H a few times now. Now, everyone I talk to says I'll be a full-blown addict within 6 months. I told my psychologist about my occasional heroin use and he basically said that it's near impossible NOT to become an addict because the drug is so addictive. I've assured him and others that it won't happen to me. He says that's what everyone says when they first start out. I believe, however, that I have the WILLPOWER to keep my use of H only every now and then.
I think people who become addicts just don't have the same mental fortitude as me. I always get my priorities right; I pay my pills on time, spend money on healthy food, and never skimp on such things to buy a hit of H. I pretty much only ever buy it when I have spare cash on me and just feel like kicking back on Friday night at the end of the working week to unwind. I'm no different to others who have a few beers after a week's worth of work. Do most of these people become alcoholics? Fuck no. So why would it be any different for H? Again, I have strong willpower, and don't spend my money on H when I need that money for other things.
You sound a lot like me (and most other addicts throughout history), like 5 or so years ago.
Nobody can tell you that you're going to become addicted in a few months though. It can be weeks, months, or years from now, or never!
do you think ppl who try heroin once and then use it again dont have the same mentality as you?
a decent proportion of people who chip with H get a habit
its not really glamourous lifestyle to risk falling into
if you have so much mental fortitude, kick back with a joint once a week instead of one of the most addictive and expensive opiates known to man
i have tried H a few times and was fantasising about the high for months after...
dont compare alcohol to heroin, h is a lot more addictive
imo u should avoid hard opiates
I agree with all of what you said.
First, I can't smoke weed. It's not euphoric and gives me panic attacks. The fact that I've been chipping on H for a good three months now demonstrates that I can keep it under control. I've also used oxy in the past, and like H, I never developed a habit. I know these substances are highly addictive which is why I use them sparingly. It just pisses me off that everyone thinks that in six months time I'll be sucking other dudes' dicks to get money for a bundle. Bullshit.
Nobody can tell you if you are going to become addicted or not. However, I will say that 3 months is nothing in terms of keeping it under control. I probably don't know anybody that got strung out that quickly after picking up the drug, so don't think that 3 months of controlled use is any great feat. I'm not saying that to try and put you down or say you'll become an addict, I'm just trying to put it into perspective. It took me 7 years to get a proper heroin habit, so I know first hand about feeling like I've got in under control, like I'm not like everybody else who gets addicted, etc... Be aware and be careful.
Something like 10% of people who try heroin get addicted to it, though I'm not sure what the stats are regarding chippers who become addicts.
I chipped for almost two years before it started getting out of hand, then I went to rehab for a while & I've been chipping again for about a year now. It's certainly possible but it's not likely.
BTW don't delude yourself into thinking that because you've kept it up for a whopping 3 months, you're invincible. That's absurd. You have almost no experience with the drug IMO.
See my final part of this post which addresses this.
True. Yet I've met people who've become hooked after using for only a month. Also, I've been chipping on oxy for about a year and a half before trying H. Never got addicted to that, either. And oxy can be just as addictive. So what does that tell you?
Perhaps. I find working out in the gym provides a great release. However, it is, of course, a different feeling to H.
I too don't understand how you're saying that you never got addicted to oxy but then started using heroin. You don't have to be physically dependent on the drug in order to be addicted to it. Even when I was just using on the weekends I still considered myself addicted. Hell, even when I was just using a few times a year I still considered myself an addict, as I would regularly think about my next high, even if it was months away. If a person uses once a week but spends the 6 days in between counting down the days to the next high then that's being an addict. If you are planning out the frequency in which you use, then that's a sign of addiction. Someone who is not addicted just takes it when they come across it or friends offer it to them, and they don't really think about it in between uses. Once you start justifying and rationalizing then that's when the problems start.
I chipped for ~3 years before getting addicted for 8 years.
It is a risky practice, because you never know when life will get so painful, stressful, traumatic, boring [etc ad infinitum] that your resolve will falter, you'll get too much comfort from using that you'll let it become every day. Or you'll chase the rush down into some dark places that you never would have dreamt of in your "chipping" days.
No matter how gradually or suddenly you go from "chipping" to "physically dependant" - and whether you let it happen carelessly or knowingly surrender to addiction - It is always a risk.
Some people with really stable lives and intense determination may stand a better chance of not getting in too deep.
Chipping is a risky practice.
So is using opiates. You know this.
Anything is possible - but the anecdotal evidence alone is kind of pessimistic on this one. Probably the only people I've known to do it are ex-addicts - do they count, or are they excluded for having been (presumably) failed chippers to begin with?
If at first you don't succeed...
Full blown addiction can take many years to develop. I've met plenty of rising stars who eventually gave in after many years or even decades of toying with this and that. I'm talking cream of the crop motherfuckers who always seemed to have their shit together.
The way you feel right this second is not necessarily how you'll feel in the future. Changes in finances, relationships, health, employment, etc can have huge effects on your mentality and swing the balance in either direction. Even being successful at life does it to some people.
Maybe/maybe not in your case. But why fuck around?
I was using 'on-again-off-again' for years before becoming addicted. I was using pills on the weekend for about 2 years before I switched to heroin due to my oxy dealer switching from selling 40 and 80mg OxyContin pills to selling heroin, and it took me a few times of him saying "I don't have any oxys now, but you can get a bag of dope from me and it will be like 60mg of oxy at a fraction of the price" for me to decide to try it. After a few months of that I ended up in an outpatient drug rehab for treatment court due to a possession and sale charge of oxycodone, and so for the almost 2 years of treatment court I stopped using, aside from getting high 5 or fewer days during those two years.
After completing treatment court I went away to college, and aside from using vicodin 3 times in the 3 years away, and getting 4 or 5 orders of poppy pods which I drank with a group of friends in the dorms, I didn't touch anything else while I was away at school. I did however use when I was home for the summer and winter breaks, but while being home for those 2 month increments I didn't always use, and never used enough to develop physical dependency. For the 3 winter breaks I used during 2 of them, and one of those 2 times it was only 3 or 4 times that I got high, and then the other time it was more like 10-15 times in those 2 months. During the summer breaks I used more, but never more than 3 days in a given week, and the first month or so of summer break I was using even less than that. So it's safe to say that from 2004-2011 I was a 'chipper' but then once I crossed the line I became more addicted.
I graduated from college in 2011 and was now back home where I had access to all opiate painkillers as well as heroin. That summer I tried Opana for the first time, and then oxy, and then I was right back on the H train. At first I was still chipping, but after being home for a few months and not being able to find a good job, things seemed more hopeless so I started using heavier. After going on a few job interviews and not getting those jobs which were great jobs that were in the field that I went to college for, it just gutted me and made me use more. The rest as they say is history, and although I've been working at dead-end jobs to pay the bills, not having a career after college makes me feel lower than my friends that got good jobs after they graduated, but heroin makes me feel higher than them if only for a few hours at a time, and that's been my downfall with heroin.
So there's my example of how you can never predict how your drug use will end up even if it's under control now and you think that it will never get worse. I made it through college and got a degree that is difficult to obtain, all while keeping my use to a minimum. But then after graduating and things just continued not going my way I dealt with them in a way that was already familiar to me; opiates...
