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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

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well i only took 4mg vicodin today.

have to go to work later anyway.

have severe stomach lower intestinal
cramps for going on over 6 days in a row
now.

the last three days were soo bad.

it was so terrible my whole lower area
was so soar and hurting. thought for sure
it was going to be colon cancer or some kind
of something deadly. WOW.

then all of a sudden got a little better today,
not sure what that was all about.

or it could be from still trying to quit the
opioids. not sure.
yet. still.
 
10 signs you're doing well :

1. You have a roof over your head
2. You ate today
3. You have a good heart
4. You wish good for others
5. You have clean water
6. Someone cares about you
7. You strive to be better
8. You have a dream
9. You're breathing
10. You washed your hands
 
Hylight said:
10 signs you're doing well :

1. You have a roof over your head
2. You ate today
3. You have a good heart
4. You wish good for others
5. You have clean water
6. Someone cares about you
7. You strive to be better
8. You have a dream
9. You're breathing
10. You washed your hands
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Thank you so much for posting this! It already brought a great start to my day.
Aww damn I dunno how to do the heart symbol
 
Quitting Heroin after a horrible relapse this past month. Had been a year without since I fell back in, got bad really quickly and my arms are all tracked up. But its been three days now without and I'm holding out on getting more. Went back on Bupe today I took 6mgs and it seems to be holding me well. Been drinking Beers all day but whatever I could be doing worse, was smoking Crack one day and everything so yeah shit got real. It all came about after my girl through me out after going off the deep end with Dissos.

So yeah right now I'm trying to just limit my drug usage to Beer and Bupe and see how that treats me. Lost all of my psych meds in a blackout so I'm off those now also and I'm kinda using the booze to get through the withdrawals. I'm gonna be okay I have some amazing people in my corner and as long as I'm trying to better myself they will be there to help. Just gotta take this one step at a time but if I keep getting high it's just gonna push her further away from me. And I love that woman so much and don't wanna keep letting her down. And I deserve better than this honestly, yeah it feels good shooting up but the aftermath is hard to cope with. Hope everyone else struggling gets better, I love you all.
 
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Cosmic Charlie said:
Quitting Heroin after a horrible relapse this past month. Had been a year without since I feel back in, got bad really quickly and my arms are all tracked up. But its been three days now without and I'm holding out on getting more. Went back on Bupe today I took 6mgs and it seems to be holding me well. Been drinking Beers all day but whatever I could be doing worse, was smoking Crack one day and everything so yeah shit got real. It all came about after my girl through me out after going off the deep end with Dissos.

So yeah right now I'm trying to just limit my drug usage to Beer and Bupe and see how that treats me. Lost all of my psych meds in a blackout so I'm off those now also and I'm kinda using the booze to get through the withdrawals. I'm gonna be okay I have some amazing people in my corner and as long as I'm trying to better myself they will be there to help. Just gotta take this one step at a time but if I keep getting high it's just gonna push her further away from me. And I love that woman so much and don't wanna keep letting her down. And I deserve better than this honestly, yeah it feels good shooting up but the aftermath is hard to cope with. Hope everyone else struggling gets better, I love you all.
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♡♡♡♡♡ omg
 
argh charlie i am glad you've managed to kick the dope and i hope when you stabilise a bit you're able to start rebuilding your life and work towards sobriety.
 
i tried sooo hard not to take anything yesterday. i didn't take anything all day yesterday, it worked.
i had to fight it, lot's of good good bud, an excess dose of edible at night to sleep, even jumped in the ice cold water in the daytime for a dope, then got drunk okay, never even used to drink, didn't really have time to.

i was going to try to go three days this time but by 11 a.m. took around a 4mg dose. vicodin.
or should i say vicagain.

i couldn't take the stomach cramps. i couldn't do it. now i do not have the intestinal cramping, or pain, and i am happy again. And after everything i went through. i felt like i was doing so well.

i have pain, i have paws, my brain is playing tricks on me maybe but all i want is my vicodin back. that's it. AND i get by on such low doses now that it is incredible... . . BUT THE POINT IS THAT IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT FUCKING HELPS ME. the only thing.

i actually even tricked myself into thinking that i just had a touch of stomach flue or didn't cook my food long enough.

now i can't quit because i get stomach cramps BAD ONES. i will have to try some kratom at nighttime in case i get sick again from it at least i can sleep it off. that is what i have been trying with the edibles. i wake up in the middle of the night fried in the twilight zone and eating tortilla chips with the sound of trumpets blasting off in my ears. then i awake to sobriety. i need my pain relief, i mean it !
 
^^^ @C.H. !!

yes, and i remember what you said about being in withdrawal from rosin and it made sense. i thought it was part of the paws so that helped understand i really am getting through it slowely but surely.

but it is tough to get through it all when i don't know if the real pain is just cancelling out the temporary agony that is also just the new struggles from moving out of the difficulties of always having to medicate allot.

thank you !! with your being able to share your experience helps make the world seem more explainable and also so not alone either, when also so much and also alot of the world undignifies everything into something derogatory all of the time.

but thanks !! ♡♡♡♡♡

edit: oh yes, as always !!
 
so i did take some vicodin, and yes it did help.
And yes it was just a small amount BUT made all the difference in the world, SO i must really be in pain OR it wouldn't be working IS the only clarity that i can make out of the whole situation right now anyway.

so i went outside today, walked out by the river and the trails with my two dogs mudhoney and budi !! drove around in the 85 degree breeze, drank redbulls !! played with my doggies, smoked great flower. had soup and snacks. walked around and enjoyed some freedom and was able to realize chronic pain was gone and i was able to leave the house.

my brother gave me a movie to watch. said it was not to watch with moms and dad. o.f. whatever.

so at first i thought oh no this is going to give me ptsd because i had not saw the movie before but it was once upon a time in venice. don't mess with a mans dog.

but after i started watching it, i remembered that was exactly what it was like there so that was cool and that i was able to focus on sitting and actually watching a movie was totally awesome and seriously great being able to laugh.

yah.

sorry for all of those who have to detox and suffer through all types of withdrawals. i know it is not a fun thing to try to understand sometimes but is reality. 😁
 
oh yeah.
thanx Brahh.
eeee heeeeeee he
way too funny.

a little moonlighting anyone !!
 
Going strong! Except for my bone-aching weariness matched only by my crippling insomnia. Still, better than being on meth and it won't last forever.
 
Been having trouble staying away from the booze. Too stressed out lately and I got a legit anxiety disorder.
 
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CB-1 withdrawal is real, and it really hurts. If it's causing any of your symptoms Hylight then be mindful of it because it creeps up on you. You can feel GREAT and not NEED it, but your BODY NEEDS it even if your mind doesn't. Your brain needs it. It's insidious.

nuttynutskin said:
Been having trouble staying away from the booze. Too stressed out lately and I got a legit anxiety disorder.
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I'm so sorry man, I have been theorizing for a while alcoholism is going to surge because of huge unemployment surge, lack of benzos/medicine for anxiety patients, etc.

Stay well man, every day you drink less or none is a victory and pat yourself on the back for it!!
 
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