Thank you
@chinup.. Relapsing is a frightening prospect. Usually my cravings are brought about by stressors, whether immediately obvious or of the chronic, under lying type. Are there any areas of your life that are major sources of stress or dissapointment? Work, social life, self esteem, relationships or need for recreation? I am highly sucspetable to body discomfort that is a reflection of my self esteem and constant lack of a love life, even though this has rather been a matter of choice as I have chosen to work on myself.
Are you still doing NA? I haven't been going lately and have mostly avoided my sponsors calls as I was beginning to get very depressed by the process of my life being consumed by work and meetings. I honestly don't know if ultimately having my addiction replaced by the entire NA lifestyle would keep me sober. I was beginning to get those same old feelings that I had gotten in the program before and realized how dissatisfied I was and had been in the past with the program lifestyle and I realized that my using had been a choice every time and every time it happened, while being absorbed in the program lifestyle. I don't know? I wish I knew the answer. Not blaming NA. I just know I want to explore something else. It just doesn't seem to be the answer. I would still like to attend meetings every now and then.
I hope everyone has a good day. I hope you feel better
@Hylight. Congrats
@Captain.Heroin on cutting out benzos and the serious progress in cutting down the cannabis addiction.
@cj... Thinking about ya bub.
I love all you guys and it scares me to think about the prospect and reality of any of your relapses because I have been motivated at different times by all of you and ultimately the reality of being an addict means relapse could be a very real reality for any of us and this means me. The thought of being caught in the drain as everything is spiraling down gives my stomach a churn.
My last few recovery attempts and relapse experiences make me realize that if I totally torch and destroy everything again I don't know when if ever I would get the strength to pull myself back out again.. No...not today and I hope this can be the reality for all of you whether your contemplating a relapse or caught in the storm and just need the strength to take that crucial step. Stay strong my brothers and sisters...❤