I have had hellish anxiety my whole life. Self medicated with pot, but now that does not work, and makes it worse. Trying to give up pot for the umpteenth time at the moment. When it starts affecting my tafe work, i know it's time to give it the boot. Hehe but of course, giving it the boots upsets the tafe work even more! the good ol catch 22!! Which is why i like benzos
As I am a true sufferer of anxiety, my favourite benzo of all would have to be Lorazepam. mainly because it treats/numbs my anxiety at it's core, without messing with my head and zonking me out. When treating for anxiety, I don't see the point in zonking out all day, it's like your not facing the problem, just covering it up. At least with Lorazepam, it kills the anxiety and I can go about my day normally, as if i am not on a drug at all. I have found no other benzo that does the same for me. I has allowed me to make some good realisations about my anxiety, and how it is my mind that is causing it. When I am on lorazepam, my head is so clear, and i am able to delve inside and try to uncover the true cause of my anxiety!
One thing I have noticed on here, is that for people who seem to suffer from true anxiety, we much prefer out medications to not zonk us out of our brains. I have enough difficulty functioning in my every day life, i don't need the added difficulty of a drug that is gonna zonk me out too. Damn, I completely dropped out of a Tafe course because my anxiety was so bad that i could no go without taking either Valium or oxazepam. But when i took the drugs, i was not able to focus in class, and would often fall asleep. this lead to me falling so far behind in my tafe, that my anxiety went into overdrive, and i just had to give up the entire course, to save my sanity. I am currently in the same situation with a new tafe course, but have been prescribed lorazepam instead. And I am loving it, it truely helps my anxiety, without adding anything else(such as euphoria, drowsiness etc) into the mix. Lorazepam is saving me from quitting another course!! I know quite a few people who swear by Lorazepam specifically for the reasons i have mentioned!
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE getting on the other benzos and having a good ol zonk out. My preferred for that would definitely have to be Diazepam. Once again, kills the anxiety(obviously) and just makes me feel damned great(euphoric, not a care in the world etc), although doing any form of work when on a good dose is impossible, unlike Lorazepam!! Temazepam can be fun, altho there is something dirty about it that just doesn't gel with me very well. I found the same with Oxazepam too. Only have Xanax a couple of times, and all it made me do was black out... next thing i knew it was 3pm the next day. And it's not like I overdid it, just the one bar. and I have a pretty high tolerance to benzos, and but one bar was still too much for me to actually enjoy it. Maybe i'll try taking half a bar to see how it feels, then dunk the other half when i am confident i won't black out. Hehe also got some klonnies too... but after reading the blackout stories on here, i am very weary of them. I know that shit like xanax and klonnies can feel fucking fantastic, but any drug that can also completely black you out and wipes any memory of what you did is certainly not the greatest... in my opinion anyways! that's why i never drink too much anymore, i enjoy my memories, and when i know there is a gap in my memory, it really disturbs me!
coming on bluelight and seeing exactly how many people on here are affected by anxiety in their every day lifes... it has lead me to question my previous beliefs about taking drugs as a teenager. If I could go back and change one thing, it would be starting to smoke pot at 14. I wish i had never done it. Before then I NEVER had any anxiety issues. But pretty much since i got into heavy smoking and harder drugs, it has just gone through the roof. Anyone who says that early drug use does not cause damage to your brains mental capacity to deal with certain situations, is kidding themselves. Always remember, just cos it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it doesn't happen! Sure, blast the fuck out of your mind when you are old enough(and no, 16 is not old enough) to take it, it's a helluva lot of fun... but give your mind a chance to fully spread it's wings before you go clipping them!!
heh sorry for the random tangent...