• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Self-harm support thread v. 3

Butterfly_kisses said:
thanks theartofwar,,, sadly i cut pretty bad last night and tonight isnt looking any better. it seems ive gone back to my old patterns of not eating, sleeping and now cutting. all day i was craving the feeling of cutting and im sure as soon as everyone goes to bed tonight ill end up cutting again.

so proud of you theartofwar though!! thats great to hear... hopefully ill be able to be proud of myself again, sometime.
Click to expand...

It's not too late to try to change some of that.

What have you tried to help assist in sleep? Going for a walk (if that is an option) can really help.

Do you find it hard to eat/be hungry?

Best of luck.
 
yeahh i do a bit of exercise... i walk for an hour every morning then go to the gym for an hour or 2 in the afternoon.... usually i stay away for 4 or 5 nights and then i just crash at some point.

yeahh i find it really hard to actually be hungry and then when i do try to eat cause im feeling faint, well i just cant seem to want to eat it and then if i do i usually dont keep it down...


Its my last year at school, and i really dont want to be back to my old ways,,, any advise would be much appriciated!
 
Hey, I don't know if anyone in this thread even knows who I am because it's been so long since I was really an active part of BL, but I just wanted to say thanks for the support.....I used to cut myself pretty much every night; I stopped for years, then I've been going through a hard time and did it again about a week ago..

..I really thought I was going to tonight as well, but I came here and remembered how much support I always got from people here and it's made me feel really good about myself like I haven't for a while, so thanks heaps. I am happy to say I am going to bed with no new scars tonight.

Little victories are how you get there. :)
 
^ Those little victories win the battle !!! At least on my limited experience. I know I'll never be "clear" from this and will always fight it. We add it to the list, lol, my drug addictions aren't much better.. so yeah. Makng it work.q
 
^^ That really is what it's about man, it's something that requires constant work and awareness. You're doing really well taow <3

Raz said:
Hey, I don't know if anyone in this thread even knows who I am because it's been so long since I was really an active part of BL, but I just wanted to say thanks for the support.....I used to cut myself pretty much every night; I stopped for years, then I've been going through a hard time and did it again about a week ago..

..I really thought I was going to tonight as well, but I came here and remembered how much support I always got from people here and it's made me feel really good about myself like I haven't for a while, so thanks heaps. I am happy to say I am going to bed with no new scars tonight.

Little victories are how you get there. :)
Click to expand...

Mate I had no idea *hugs* <3
I'm so glad you could use this thread to help you get through it last night. It's a reminder that we really are all in this together. Sometimes for me it really does comes down to taking each day as it comes as well. I can't guarantee that I won't ever cut again, but I can control my actions for the immediate period of time, and I can get through that one particular day without doing it.
Raz, please PM me if you ever want to talk about it okay? <3
 
Raz said:
Hey, I don't know if anyone in this thread even knows who I am because it's been so long since I was really an active part of BL, but I just wanted to say thanks for the support.....I used to cut myself pretty much every night; I stopped for years, then I've been going through a hard time and did it again about a week ago..

..I really thought I was going to tonight as well, but I came here and remembered how much support I always got from people here and it's made me feel really good about myself like I haven't for a while, so thanks heaps. I am happy to say I am going to bed with no new scars tonight.

Little victories are how you get there. :)
Click to expand...

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better Raz. You can PM me if you would like to.

theartofwar said:
^ Those little victories win the battle !!! At least on my limited experience. I know I'll never be "clear" from this and will always fight it. We add it to the list, lol, my drug addictions aren't much better.. so yeah. Makng it work.q
Click to expand...

Agreed.
 
Man what the fuck, I reached out to one of my closest friends that I know who has been a good guy to me. I told him that I was struggling cutting. His response "you're a fucking idiot, whose stupid enough to cut themselves?" - fair enough it's not something most people even talk about , let alone who knows how wide spread.

I responded, "bro you've known me your whole life, lived at my house kicking dope countless times, we've been through hell, please understand their are areas of me you cannot and will not understand because I don't feel comfortable sharing details - I tried to share tonight and I'm not thinking it's a good idea to go any further."

response from my "friend : "You're easily the stupidest fucking person alive if you cut yourself, burn yourself, what possible fun can that bring you?" - I warned him one more time and then whooped his ass with a fucked up knee.

You know what im not sorry, im fucking not at all sorry, I've stayed away from this shit - he said "why not just go shoot heroin if you have a tough day" - GREAT that's 4-5 OD's , almost lost my life (well I did for 8 FUCKING years) - and lose the girl I love if I go back to habitual use (which would take about ohhh one shot). GREAT FUCKING ADVICE.

I'm fucking furious, his family is bullshit I threw him thru a fucking door - so I'm going to go buy and install that tomorrow. I'm just fucking furious right now - and you know what , fuck it , he's no saint , nobody is - we all have dark passengers. So fuck people who judge on others, I judge them for being cowards and not trying to help - yes by all means point whats wrong, but fuck helping...

FUCKING pissed.
 
^^ Man i'm sorry to hear that shit went down. I hope you're feeling better now <3



For the first time in about 12 months I am really serious about wanting to cut. This shit NEVER goes away. We can easily suppress it when we're strong but it's always there waiting for us when our guard is let down.

I'm really scared that I'm not strong enough tonight. I'm all alone in this house, just me and my mind. I just want some pain. I keep imagining doing it and fantasising about the endorphin rush. I've hidden the knives away but ummm I'm the one who hid them...so how does that work??

Please help me through this guys, I really don't want any more scars :(
 
awww neo i hope youre alright tonight... stay strong you know you can get past this!

for the past week ive cut every night so far,,, i crave it soo much and i think its getting worse.
i use to fight for everything,., but i think ive just given up. everything just keeps crumbleing around me.
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ Man i'm sorry to hear that shit went down. I hope you're feeling better now <3



For the first time in about 12 months I am really serious about wanting to cut. This shit NEVER goes away. We can easily suppress it when we're strong but it's always there waiting for us when our guard is let down.

I'm really scared that I'm not strong enough tonight. I'm all alone in this house, just me and my mind. I just want some pain. I keep imagining doing it and fantasising about the endorphin rush. I've hidden the knives away but ummm I'm the one who hid them...so how does that work??

Please help me through this guys, I really don't want any more scars :(
Click to expand...

hey rosie
i <3 u!
It's going to be okay, u got everyone here! I know it can get lonly at times, I've been alone since i started using. would stop avoiding everything, my parents didn't understand anything. so i turnd to drugs, and turnd to the blade. the only things that made me feel good. after a while i got hook'd on both. i've got massive scars on my arm to remind me how fucking stupid i was, people ask me in the streets what happend to my arm, even employers. what am i susposed to say?
i know its hard, get out of ur head. do something. clean up ur place, re arange furniture, take ur doggys out for a stroll. hell what ever u can do to get away from the computer screen for a while. i noticed that when i get the "urge" to cut, i know for the next 5 mins, my mind is going to keep telling me to do it, and will rationalize it that it wont be so bad, or dont go so deep this time. i've learned that if i go do something for that 5 minutes, even if its take a nice hot shower. anything!
after that 5 mins, the craving to cut goes away, some thoughts still linger, but not as bad as they were before.
i admit that i'm powerless over the knife, so if i ever pick one up and intend to use it like that then it's all down hill. i know that if i dont pick the knife up, then i wont cut. its hard to do this atfirst. i tell myself that theres other ways of dealing with shit.

i'm going through a massive shitstorm right now, cutting is only going to make it worse.

hang in there rose, i care for ya! i know i'm silly at times. if u ever wanna laugh hit me up! :D
<3!
Butterfly_kisses said:
awww neo i hope youre alright tonight... stay strong you know you can get past this!

for the past week ive cut every night so far,,, i crave it soo much and i think its getting worse.
i use to fight for everything,., but i think ive just given up. everything just keeps crumbleing around me.
Click to expand...

hey kisses.
good for u for fighting the urges. shits hard, you did damn good to make it through the week. i couldnt do it at first. it took a lot of strength and courage to get out of the rut.
don't give up before the miracle! shit may seem rough right now, it's only temperlary(sp). lifes a bitch lol, dont let the pitfalls of life get the best of you. be strong! keep ur head up!!
if no one said teh love u today, i love u <3

:)
 
n3o, I truly hope you made it through alright man -- I know what emotions trigger me, but I can only say you've been making great strides w/alcohol and that is a HUGE stress - one that does not go away over night. Hang in man. I feel ya dude , no more scars :( - hope you're doing well.
 
<3
Thank you so much D's, taow and ButterflyKisses <3
I ended up just going to bed before I did anything bad. I still feel like shit today and am just constantly on the verge of crying. But I think I'm okay for now.
 
Thank you darling <3
I might wait until I get home before I let the tears roll. Managing to keep it together while I'm at work :)
 
okay so...I had this huge entry written and the internet gods decided to delete it; the short version is, thanks guys, I really appreciate the support <3

To everyone who is doing the same shit that I am battling with at the moment; don't EVER feel ashamed about it; it's not ideal but we do this because we need to. I think we all have enough to worry about without beating ourselves up over our own coping mechanisms. Much love to y'all. :)
 
Hello everyone, I'm new here but have been lurking for a while
I started cutting when I was 13 after experiencing sexual trauma. It was never a major issue for me at that time as I eventually stopped and choose to deal with my problems in other (not good) ways. After not self-harming for years I recently fell into a deep depression and started again. I cut myself deeper and deeper as my depression got worse. One unfortunate night I was particularly upset and had recently thrown away my old razors. Using a brand new blade I cut much too deep, and I watched my arm split open over an inch. Several hours and ten stitches later I was back in one piece. I can honestly say I have never been more terrified in my life. I NEVER meant to cut that deeply. But I did. I'm lucky that I chose my upper forearm and not my wrist, because I would have almost certainly cut through tendons and not have a fully functioning hand. I quite possibly could have killed myself.
The good news is that I haven't cut since, so about two months.
I really want to remind everyone to be careful because accidents can and do happen, and I hope none of you need to go through what I did to find the strength to stop.
 
Hi joe, welcome to the thread <3
I had a similar experience with a freshly sharpened knife once, so I know the terror and regret you felt that night. It's great to hear you haven't cut since, I hope you manage to keep on dealing with life without cutting.

I have tried Bio-Oil for my scars. I was using it 2-3 times a day, for about 4 months. Some of the scars reduced a little bit, the keloid scars on my legs are the ones I'm most concerned about. I want to get them tattoo'd over one day soon, so I'm going to give the Bio-Oil another try, so they will soften up a little bit more.
It's definitely worth a shot if you want to try it:)
 
I certainly hope so too.

I have keloids on my legs as well :/. I actually have some scar gel I picked up from the drug store, I just keep forgetting I have it. I'm glad to hear that it did help a bit, I was pretty skeptical.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top