Poor quality jokes contrived around drug related puns

[VyperPunk]

Irishman caught his son snorting charlie. He said, "If I catch you doing that again, I'll rub your fecking nose in it."

 

[Top_Cat]

message will self-exist in.. now

lol. :D

now, get back in your wheeliebin.

but they was times of innocence: didn't even know what smack was...

now I know too much.. nah not really

or do I?

 

[Cornishman]

Not a strictly drug related joke, but one I came up with last night whilst rendered on booze and coke.

Q:What did the blind man with the stutter say when he walked into a science lab looking for his dog.

A: "Has anyone seen my pipette"?

 

[foal]

I've smoked marijuana almost everywhere in Cornwall.
I've smoked it in Newquay, I've smoked it in Bude,
I've also smoked it close to St Ives, but I did not in Hayle.

Shamelessly borrowed and modified; the original with less geographical bias:

NSFW:

I must admit to smoking marijuana.
I smoked it in the sleet,
I smoked it in the snow,
I even smoked it in the rain.

But I did not in hail...

 

[cletus]

Q: How do you entice a junkie slapper into bed?

A: With great E's

 

[The RZA]

Not a strictly drug related joke, but one I came up with last night whilst rendered on booze and coke.

Q:What did the blind man with the stutter say when he walked into a science lab looking for his dog.

A: "Has anyone seen my pipette"?

Fucking LOL!!

 

[MrTiHKAL]

Inspired by the B+D AMT thread.

Two vendors walk into a bar and one says to the other one "How you getting on with that AMT hydrochloride mate, selling much?
"Yeah" the other one says "Pretty good, shiftin' loads of the stuff but I've got this one customer who's really pissin' me off"
"Why's that mate?" the first vendor asks.
"Every five minutes he's emailing me asking what's the best way to take the stuff, like" he replies.
"Every five minutes? that would get right on my tit's, tell him it's for feeding plants, innit"
"I tried that mate but he was fillling up my inbox every two hours and it was affecting the business, in the end I had to tell him to shove it up his arse."

 

[Cornishman]

fucking lol!!

*Takes a bow*

 

[jancrow]

What's santa's favourite psychedelic?

4-HO-HO-HO-DMT

 

[missing old pills]

What's santa's favourite psychedelic?

4-HO-HO-HO-DMT

Lol topical
Two smack heads sat on a park bench waiting for their mate to come back from scoring and one falls asleep.
Mate returns and says "shall I give him a dig?"
The other one says "no, we'll have it!"

 

[jancrow]

Why do goldfish have such short memories?

Finazepam.

 

[brimz]

What do you call a cat that keeps falling asleep ?

Mogadon

 

[strungout2010]

Did you hear about the fella who sniffed half Oz of curry powder. ??

He's ended up in hospital in a korma.

 

[Cornishman]

Q: Which island is made up of dry powdered tobacco and dirt bar?

A: The isle of mull.

 

[bogman]

i like my women the same as my whiskey

12years old and full of alcohol.

 

[Cornishman]

^^^ I like my women the same as my whiskey.

Aged 12 years and mixed up with coke.

 

[jkyl]

Two horrible jokes for yall.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2C-T-2lips he planted last week.

also

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Bob Monkhouse:

I tried cocaine once. But i was too high on heroin to feel any effect.

 

[jancrow]

What bovine draft animals have the best painkilling properties?
Suboxen





Sorry, I've been wanting to revive this thread for ages and that's the best I can think of this morning.

 

[Na'vi]

Q: Why did the racist psychonaut's friends not want to hang out with him?

A: Because he kept dropping the N-BOMe.