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Self-harm support thread v. 3

^^ Yeah there's definitely a connection. Depressants such as alcohol and benzos reduce our inhibitions, i.e. they switch off that little voice in your head that says "This is not a good idea" or "Don't do this". We're much more likely to follow through with our thoughts/plans when we're drunk or high. That, plus they reduce our ability to feel pain, so you're much more likely to cut deeper or more frequently when you're drunk or high.

Which is why it is so dangerous :|
 
n3ophy7e said:
This is the endorphin rush hun. It very clearly explains the exact feelings you get when you cut. It makes perfect sense as to why cutting is so addictive as well.

You can use other methods to get the exact same endorphin rush kc, things like crushing an ice cube in your hand, or snapping a big rubber band on your skin, it produces the exact same chemical release in your brain which gives the same physical and mental relief that cutting does.

Total fact hun. Do you think you could try and put this in to practice next time you feel the urge to cut??
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I can deffo vouch for that !

Actually helped me stop, when I felt urge to cut i'd just hold onto an icecube until it had completely melted in my hand.
 
^^ That is so awesome to hear that method worked for you! It really goes to show, when we really put our minds to it, as addictive as it is, we CAN stop this pattern of behaviour. We ALL have the power to choose a different outlet/release of emotion.
 
Yet again I'm back here, I cut again today, after 10 days "clean" :'(
I've cut my wrist, my bicep, my thighs, my groin and my foot.
I've managed to lose literally my one piece of hope in this world, a letter from my girlfriend, she wrote it for me while I was on the brink of suicide and it gave me something to hold onto. Every time I felt down I read it, over and over, and everything became okay, it all made perfect sense. It made me feel whole, optimistic and as close to happy as I've ever been. But I've lost it, it's gone - yet miraculously the razor blade is still here, with yet another tally on his scoreboard.
I have nothing right now, I'm sat here alone in the dark venting my anger to someone possibly thousands of miles away, someone who may quite possibly have problems of their own, far greater than dealing with whatever shit I choose to depress myself with. :'(
 
Oh man I'm so sorry to hear you did it again, after 10 days. I know you must feel bad about doing it again, but you know this doesn't mean you have to continue to cut on a regular basis. Just get back on track after this slip-up and keep on going the way you were when you managed to abstain from cutting for 10 whole days. I know you can do it man. You should really think about getting some professional help. I know it's a difficult step to take, but once you've actually gone in to that doctor's office and told them what's going on, and starting the process, you will feel SO much better already. Honestly, it's like a physical weight has lifted off your shoulders. It's for the best man. Good luck, and let us know how you're going okay? In the meantime, please don't cut any more, just hold on <3
 
possibly triggering

Still good here. I've engaged in "blood letting" a few times with needles, now that I have access to needles cause I'm rx'd them. But I don't count that as cutting. I count that as art.
 
^^ Do you get an endorphin rush from blood-letting? Just curious. It's great to hear you're not cutting as well man! <3

Pillthrill said:
Still holding strong. Still no cutting. I'm confident that I can kick this. :D
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That is excellent to hear hun, very inspiring!! <3
 
^^Yeah, I do. I think with self harm its more in seeing the blood and plus, I get to make pretty things with the blood after I draw it...I really do...I write with it >.> Like I said...It's art.
 
So it's therapeutic for you in multiple ways? It's certainly a controversial artform. In terms of self-harm it would be preferable if you didn't act on the compulsions to do it, because there's an endorphin rush and blood loss involved it could still be classified as a form of self-mutilation. But in terms of harm reduction, just make sure you're careful to prevent infection, and allow enough time for your blood reserves to recouperate in between sessions <3
 
Wow, blood-letting sounds kinda cool (compared to cutting or drug abuse etc) and a good way to turn your pain/suffering into something beautiful. I may have to google some more into this.

I think you're right about the whole seeing the blood thing, I've noticed when I've needed blood tests I haven't cut myself for weeks (even months) after.

Things are all good on my side of life, I actually stopped myself from cutting, I was staring at the knife for an hour, but I didn't pick it up & cut like I normally would.
I got to see my 2 best friends & their fiancee's last night, which reminded me why I'm alive, I even got cuddles with a 6 week old, first time I'd ever held a baby in 20 years of walking this earth. It made me realise how bad I want to live & have kids...
 
billyswifey said:
I even got cuddles with a 6 week old, first time I'd ever held a baby in 20 years of walking this earth. It made me realise how bad I want to live & have kids...
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This is so amazing to hear hun, I totally know what you mean! I remember when I held my baby nephew for the first time, that was really the first time I'd ever had direct interaction with a baby, and it really did spark that maternal instinct in me. So I really do know what you mean hun. I'm glad you had that revelation. There are many reasons why you need to stay alive and take care of yourself, and being a mother is one of them <3
 
Yes, you need to make sure you're on the right track before your baby plans come to fruition. Are you considering starting some anti-depressants again sometime soon?? Obviously the sooner you can organise that, the better.
 
Doc appointment on July 5th for my hospital appointment (general & specific bloods) as well as "please, please give me new SSRI's."

So far I've been on Zoloft & Levelen, Z was shit & sent me psychotic, my body has built up resistance to L. Any recs? I know they all work differently for different people but opinions would be awesome so I know what to ask for.
 
Sorry hun, the doctor's suggestions are going to be worth more than ours. Best to see what they come up with first before we make any suggestions.
Good luck!! <3
 
I am/was a cutter for 12 years. My whole body is basically covered in scars and burns. I havent had any self injurous behavior in a little over a year now (longest Ive ever gone), but lately I cant stop thinking about it. I dunno, it could b any number of reasons, I mean I used to cut my self because it was the only thing that would make me tired. Summer is really crappy for me cuz i have to wear long sleeves and long pants to keep my scars covered. No one understands why I keep them covered, they always say its no big deal, until theyre with me when someone is staring or says something to me. The other day I was at walmart n I had just a tank top on (I was on amps n forgot to put my hoodie on) and some lady saw my scars, got closer, ans then freaked out, and I mean literally freaked out. She was yelling saying that I go against God when I do that. Then some baby started crying. Of course I also have a very bad anxiety problem, so naturally I had a panic attack. Yea I dunno why I even started writing this, I guess sometimes I just wished I had someone to talk to about everything. I pretty much live inside my own world and keep everyone away, that damn anxiety problem again. I'm just hoping I can keep strong and stay away from hurting myself again.
 
Wow I cannot believe that woman in Walmart said that. It upsets me just to read it so I can imagine how awful it was for you :(
But you've come to the right place, there are a LOT of people right here to talk to about what you've been through, and you know we've all experienced similar things with self-harm as well. If you're not comfortable talking about it in the public forum you can PM one of us moderators <3
It is so awesome that you've not cut for over a year, that is truly admirable. Do you do any exercise? I am finding more and more that exercise really is a natural cure for my problems with depression and self-esteem/body-image problems. Are you seeing a psych/therapist about your anxiety, or are you on any medication for it or anything?
 
when my mom found my razors today she started screaming. 'thats for babies, what are u in the 8th grade? are u retarded? are u gay?' etc. that hurt so much cause she clearly doesnt understand the levels of hopelessness i feel when i actually do it.
 
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