Self-harm support thread v. 3

[n3ophy7e]

I hate that too.

How've you been doing hun??

 

[Sweet P]

Some days I look at my arms and think "Meh, it's not that obvious", but then other days I look at them and it is so fucking obvious!!!

I have those days too. Some scars have faded, but others still look pretty obvious.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

^^ Could you wear a bracelet/bangles/cuff/long gloves to cover them up??

And I'm in the same boat too, but my keloids are on my thighs. I can't wear shorts and I have to cover them up with bandaids when I play soccer. It's so obvious though.

Some days I look at my arms and think "Meh, it's not that obvious", but then other days I look at them and it is so fucking obvious!!!

I could wear some fishnet I have. I may try that, or just wear long sleeves. Idk. my one arms has tats so it distracts from the not so bad scars..but the other arms doesn't and it's like "hi, i'm a keloid"

 

[RedRum OG]

i was getting head and my girl noticed the cuts for the first time. theyre on my inner thighs. after that she started touching them and i couldnt handle it and i broke down crying. most embarrassing moment ever

 

[n3ophy7e]

RedRum I'm so sorry to hear that happened. I've had embarrassing scar-discovery moments like that too so I know what it's like.
Did you and your girlfriend talk about it afterwards??

 

[gorgoroth]

ugh, my arm looks like HELL

 

[versd]

I'm so sorry to hear that versd
What's the plan from here? If it's gone from bad to worse it might be time to intervene your actions. I'm only a PM away if you need to talk to someone about it, and you know I'll understand. Please be careful

i got the wound professionally dressed, then as soon as the scabs came off, i got a nice big henna tattoo over to cover it while i was overseas and wearing short sleeves. on a positive note ive handed over my blade to someone in my life who understands. so now im left with the same emotions and no cutting outlet.

we'll see how it goes. thanks for the help everyone.

 

[n3ophy7e]

so now im left with the same emotions and no cutting outlet.

What about other outlets?? It can be hard to break the cutting habit and then to make new more effective emotional outlet/release habits. But it's definitely something you should try and do

gorgoroth, please tell me you haven't been cutting again???

 

[versd]

therapy soon, to try find a way to deal in a more healthy way.

 

[n3ophy7e]

That's great to hear, best of luck with it

 

[Sweet P]

Back to self-harming again, which seems to be getting normal for me. I'm taking at least 5 grams of paracetamol a day, plus alcohol, plus shitloads of benzos, plus opiates. Hoping to seriously fuck myself up. I've realised that cutting only leaves superficial wounds - I want permanent long-term damage.

 

[panic in paradise]

sweet p, you are asking for help here, getting advice, taking it, utilizing it, and doing the same for others.

now you are doing this? youve realized that cutting only leaves superficial wounds, and this will be permanent. what do you want us, or the people around at home to realize. we have seen the good and bad you can achieve, why choose this much more bad?!?

 

[imnakedrightnow]

awww comon sweet p dont talk like that your only fueling the fire i know how you feel you wanna fuck yourself beyond repair but its not ganna help shit

an update on me i havent cut in a few months "yay me"

 

[Sweet P]

^ Congrats!

I guess my new form of self-harming could be a passive form of suicide. I don't wanna go ahead and kill myself right now, but instead I want to slowly poison myself over time.

 

[billyswifey]

It's taking all of my willpower not to right now. I seriously hate everything & think its all a fucking joke.

 

[gorgoroth]

I havne't been cutting recently EXCEPT last night, I LITERALLY was banging my head against the wall waiting for SOMETHING good to happen... it didn't, so I took it out on my flesh

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Man I'm sorry to hear you had to do that. I know you're going through a rough patch at the moment with the loss of your friend but you don't need to take it out on yourself. You know where to find me if you need to talk to someone okay?

Back to self-harming again, which seems to be getting normal for me. I'm taking at least 5 grams of paracetamol a day, plus alcohol, plus shitloads of benzos, plus opiates. Hoping to seriously fuck myself up. I've realised that cutting only leaves superficial wounds - I want permanent long-term damage.

Hun it sounds like you're not even trying anymore, and that makes me so so sad. You're such a valuable person, you have so much to offer the world, why give up now?? The future always holds a lot of beautiful things, for everyone, no matter what shit they've been through before. But you have to stick around and take care of yourself to experience the wonderful things that this life has in store for you

It's taking all of my willpower not to right now. I seriously hate everything & think its all a fucking joke.

Please stay strong hun, you've gotten through the urges before, you can do it again.

 

[Sweet P]

Hun it sounds like you're not even trying anymore, and that makes me so so sad. You're such a valuable person, you have so much to offer the world, why give up now?? The future always holds a lot of beautiful things, for everyone, no matter what shit they've been through before. But you have to stick around and take care of yourself to experience the wonderful things that this life has in store for you

Thanks hun. I appreciate all your positive words. Some days are worse than others for me. I went to see my drug counsellor today and had a chance to vent about all the crap going on in my life, which seemed to help. So I'm not feeling as bad today. But you're right - when I'm feeling low and self-destructive, it's like I'm not even trying to get better any more. And I don't know how to fix that.

 

[Pillthrill]

It seems that I've stopped since the stitches. Guess I'm too afraid... I still want to at times.

But I'm sure some other form of self torture- other than drug use- will come about. I could see the self starvation filling the space. Why am I so messed up? Ok, I know this... a better question is why me... but that is impossible to answer.
Guess I live with it or don't. *shrug*

 

[Sweet P]

^ Yeah, I guess us self-harmers always find some way to hurt ourselves. But don't starve yourself hun. I recently went a whole week without eating, and it was SO hard. I've seen photos of you and you're very pretty - don't starve yourself and ruin your looks.