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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Self-harm support thread v. 3

I still haven't done any stupid shit in...many months. trigger warning

It's hard to look at my arms sometimes though, with my normally huge veins and not want to stab them and draw blood with a syringe though -_-
 
i recently started. i dont know why. but im scaring the shit out of myself. i cant stop already. im too young for this. ii guess its just my only release.... the drugs i can get dont do anything to me anymore and the ones i cant get are exactly what i need. so im fucked. i want to tell someone but im so fucking weak the only people i can tell are across the internet. better than nothing i suppose.

its so scary how easy i lose control. did it for the first time like 3 weeks ago and been doing it multiple times a week since then. yuck.

/rant
 
yea thats what im worried about. im already kinda losing my grip on reality so not being able to tell people in real life doesnt feel great
 
i do. spend a hell of a lot of time here. but still feels lonely as fuck.

ive done it twice in one day now, this is getting out of hand.
 
It can get out of hand very easily, it's very addictive. I've always found talking to strangers who don't know me so much easier than talking to one who "know and love" me, in fact I'm usually just a closed-up shell around friends when it comes to how I feel etc.

Luckily I found some people online from a different state who I could talk to about it and I think that's what's really helped me to stop. I'm sure if I'd been on Bluelight at the time, it would have helped too.

Anyway, you might find anonymous people are the best to talk to about this. Good luck :)
 
^^ That's so good that you got through the urges without cutting, bw <3
But please be careful with the drinking. It's just transferring one self-destructive behaviour for another, and drinking can be just as addictive and harmful as cutting.

Have you considered seeing a psych/counsellor to actually talk through some of the issues you're having? It sounds like you need to get to the root of the problem, rather than just finding ways to cover over it, a "band-aid" solution, if you will. What do you think? <3


RedRum, how are you today man?? Did you get my PM? <3
 
im doing a little better. but the more i think the scarier it is. theres always been something inside me that like forces me to do too much drugs and be irresponsible like that. but now its pushing me to hurt myself by cutting and like punching brick walls. i just dont get it.

im going to do my absolute best to try and be nice to my body all day.

EDIT: didnt make it. might even go twice in one day.. ughh. hope for better tomorowwww
 
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I definitely know that desire for release that you're experiencing RedRum. Have you tried other, non-invasive ways to get the endorphin release that occurs when you cut yourself? Things such as:
*crushing ice cubes in your hand
*snapping a rubber band on to your skin
*going for a run
*going to a secluded area and just screaming your lungs out (I'm always weary of this one because I don't want to make anyone worry. I know if I heard someone screaming bloody-murder I would assume just that...and probably call the police :D)

You get the idea though. There are so many other ways you can achieve the release of emotional tension that you're craving. Do you think this might be something you can try?
 
Not cutting, but I'm self-harming again. Just took 15 ibuprofen capsules after 3 days without eating... I would have taken more pills, but the packet ran out. Hoping to do some damage. :\
 
^^ Please be careful doing things like that hun, you could cause permanent damage to your organs by abusing some meds. PM sent, I'm here to chat if you want okay? <3
 
yeh I know about the booze thing, I've been through alcoholism already and I'm only 19. it's fucking horrible.

I'm pretty good now, my fiancee & I have sorted everything out & I start work 5pm tomorrow. I'm even seeing my mum & grandma for lunch tomorrow which I think will help me & atleast I'll be out of the house.

<3
 
Sweet P said:
Not cutting, but I'm self-harming again. Just took 15 ibuprofen capsules after 3 days without eating... I would have taken more pills, but the packet ran out. Hoping to do some damage. :\
Click to expand...

wow 15 ibuprofen, that's too much. Sweet P you are really hurting eh? Why don't u ask to be admitted into a hospital for a couple of weeks so that u can stabalize?
 
^ At this rate, I'll probably be forced into hospital (psych ward) under the Mental Health Act. I need to do some shopping today, and I'm considering picking up some more packets of pain killers. :\
 
Um. No. Stomach bleeding doesn't sound fun. This one poor fag (I mean that in the most endearing way since I am also gay) I adopted last night was like...holy shit...why? (looking at my arms) I explained that when i was trans I hated my body, so I did this. Up and down both arms, on my one ankle, both thighs. It's fucking horrible. I wish they'd go away. Especially the two keloids on my arm. I'm performing drag this next tuesday and can't wear short sleeves on that arm cause of it.
 
^^ Could you wear a bracelet/bangles/cuff/long gloves to cover them up??

And I'm in the same boat too, but my keloids are on my thighs. I can't wear shorts and I have to cover them up with bandaids when I play soccer. It's so obvious though.

Some days I look at my arms and think "Meh, it's not that obvious", but then other days I look at them and it is so fucking obvious!!! :(
 
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