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Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

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Broke my clean time... have had 2 pipe-loads of crystal. But me and drug_wench (my girlfriend) had a good long talk about things, and we're feeling a lot more positive now. We've agreed to get clean from all hard drugs by the end of this year, to stop associating with gang members and dealers, and to find hobbies, clubs, or just something to keep us busy and "replace" the addiction. We both have addictive personalities, so we've gotta find a healthy addiction instead of a negative one. :)
 
Sweet P said:
Broke my clean time... have had 2 pipe-loads of crystal. But me and drug_wench (my girlfriend) had a good long talk about things, and we're feeling a lot more positive now. We've agreed to get clean from all hard drugs by the end of this year, to stop associating with gang members and dealers, and to find hobbies, clubs, or just something to keep us busy and "replace" the addiction. We both have addictive personalities, so we've gotta find a healthy addiction instead of a negative one. :)
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what do u mean by associating with gang members? are u connected like that? i saw a documentary on the mongrel mob, are these guys really heavy where ur from? they seemed like a bunch of drunkard clowns. are they for realz where ur at?
 
I'm back everyone. After I relapsed I ended up in the hospital again because I was having anxiety and panic attacks and also going into psychosis. Everyone kept asking me if I was trying to kill myself which I wasn't. I just convinced myself that I could do a little meth and be ok. I was so wrong!!!! I have been clean for 4 days now. It isn't much but it's a start. I am so scared of the damage that I have done to my body and my mind. I don't know where to start to get healthy again. I have been sleeping and eating a lot the past few days. I am so unmotivated but I am forcing myself to get out of bed, get dressed and find a few things around the house to do every day. Work has been hard the past couple of days, but I made it through. I hope everyone else is doing well.
 
Lifeandtimes said:
what do u mean by associating with gang members? are u connected like that? i saw a documentary on the mongrel mob, are these guys really heavy where ur from? they seemed like a bunch of drunkard clowns. are they for realz where ur at?
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I'm not a gang member, but I have associations with a couple of biker gangs... one is local to my home city, and the other is in another city. The second one is much larger and more well-known, with chapters in at least several countries I think. I've worked for them in the past, I'm friends with a few members, etc.

But yeah, New Zealand does have a big problem with gangs. Some cities more than others. Have you seen the film Once Were Warriors? Here's a trailer (be warned: it's violent!). It gives a glimpse into the gangs and the lives of their members - the predominantly Maori/Polynesian ones (similar to the Mongrel Mob), rather than the predominantly white biker gangs that I'm associated with.
 
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I forgot to mention that I have an appointment at a substance abuse clinic Thursday and my family doctor Friday. Also, sometime next week I am going to a walk in mental health clinic. Hopefully they will be able to help me. I've been thinking about going to an inpatient rehab but I'm going to give myself one more chance to get clean as an outpatient.
 
^ I think that'll be a good move. The drug & alcohol service in my city has helped me immensely, and I also have a long history with the mental health service. I think you'll find them very helpful.
 
Sounds like a big plan Sweet P. Are you sure you can/want to take that all on at once. Not that I'm saying that you shouldn't do all of those things. I'm just concerned about you being upset if you fail in one area and giving up on all of it.

I wish you lots of love and luck! That stuff is so...near impossible to deal with...
Hang in there! If you wanna talk you know where to find me

*hugs*
 
ive been just reading this thread for the last few days.. even stuff that i already read..it just helps to know that im not the only one that has this tough of a time with this shit.
this has been my first real day off of it in a while.

..i kind of want it to stay that way but fuck these cravings!
 
Pillthrill said:
Sounds like a big plan Sweet P. Are you sure you can/want to take that all on at once. Not that I'm saying that you shouldn't do all of those things. I'm just concerned about you being upset if you fail in one area and giving up on all of it.

I wish you lots of love and luck! That stuff is so...near impossible to deal with...
Hang in there! If you wanna talk you know where to find me

*hugs*
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It'll be tough, but I think me and DW can do it. We have to anyway... both of our health is suffering because of our drug use. After a recent binge (smoking and IV'ing 4 grams a day for almost a week), my doctor blatantly told me that if I continue I'll be dead sooner or later.

Anyway, thanks for the support and encouragement. I appreciate it. :)
 
^Good luck to both of you. I can relate to that use, I used about that for at least a year a couple years ago.

Trying to get off it for good is really difficult when the source is still there and having your good friends being meth addicts is really dangerous for people getting off it.

I am really good friends with my fellow ex users- but thats long distance, I moved to where I could be clean and not crave and influence others to break the sobriety and get high.

I have been clean for about a year, I no longer crave it or really think about it even though I know I could get it- sources pop up from the strangest places.

I was supposed to go to Byron Bay for new year, but didn't. I had a bit of drugs then but not nearly the drug fest I would have had if I went. It was my first new year waking up without being seedy.

<3
 
Sweet P said:
I'm not a gang member, but I have associations with a couple of biker gangs... one is local to my home city, and the other is in another city. The second one is much larger and more well-known, with chapters in at least several countries I think. I've worked for them in the past, I'm friends with a few members, etc.
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wow that's pretty cool, but these must be low ranking gang members, street hustlers right? What is the most powerful gang there? what is the Mongrel Mob like? are these white gangs your talking about racist? I am assuming they are. Gang culture has always interested me
 
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Lifeandtimes said:
wow that's pretty cool, but these must be low ranking gang members, street hustlers right? What is the most powerful gang there? what is the Mongrel Mob like? are these white gangs your talking about racist? I am assuming they are. Gang culture has always interested me
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I'd rather not talk too much about it here - we're kinda going off topic anyway. But no, the white biker gangs generally aren't racists, and I know more than just the low-ranking street hustlers. PM me if you like. If you wanna read more about the New Zealand gangs, check out this site.
 
^ It isn't how I got myself into meth, but it's probably the reason I'm now in so deep. :\
 
5 years of ecstasy use, 2 years of cocaine use all cumulated in 3 years of methamphetamine use. Yes that's 10+ years of use, one drug at a time.

Lost my father, mother, brother and best friend of over 20 years.

But I know who I am and where I'm going.
 
im trying to get a new phone with a new number. also trying to find people who can help me stay clean (wich is a hell of a lot harder then everyone makes it seem). but every day is a new day
 
Just wanted to share that a friend of mine is in the "having fun" stage of meth addiction right now... really sucks. Her tweaked up thought process rationalizes the fuck out of the whole ordeal. She's using daily now I think. Seeing her go through this has really made it clear that some drugs really shouldn't be fucked with.
 
^ Yeah, I remember the "having fun" stage with meth. I was on top of the world and thought it was the best thing ever. But as time passed, the fun wore off and I was using the drug daily just to function as a normal human being. My health has also seriously deteriorated. Maybe you could show your friend this thread, so she can read about some of the shit meth addicts have to deal with? Could be a wake-up call for her. Best wishes. <3
 
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