I wanted to let you all know that I am getting better, with THERAPY, and diet/exercise, and relearning old habits.
It's hard but it CAN be done, even after 10 years. You are not bound to who you used to be, and can become the person you want yourself to be! My mom always belittled me for my weight growing up, (and then, for my ED) & then I though I HAD to be this thin person for people to like me... After all, it was my identity, right?
The thing is, I didn't want to answer the hard questions like, WHY AM I DOING THIS? REALLY?
Journaling has helped. And also accepting that I cannot change my parents.
I still face doubts and anxiety, but drawing up the courage to FACE my issues, instead of masking them with food, has truly given me a new perspective that YES I AM A WORTHWILE PERSON.