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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

Thanks hun :). I don't know, I feel like my insight is wasted on me. I can figure all this shit out but I just write it down, or talk to someone about it--I don't do anything with it. Even though I can see it, and I believe it and know it's true, the fear gets me and stops me from making a change. If I die in the next few years from this I'll leave behind a bunch of pages talking about my ED/meth/heroin addiction and everyone will wonder what the hell, she figured it out why didn't she DO something about it? And whatever insight or truth I do have, or know, will have been wasted on me when there are other anorexics/addicts who aren't so goddamn weak.

I'm glad things are going better for you out of the house. What happended with your mum that you had to leave?
 
It was about how she coddles my older brother (who is obviously paranoid skitzophrenic) like a toy puppy lapdog, instead of actually caring about HIS LIFE, which could be improved with medication and therapy.

I'm loving my body just a bit today. It is HARD rewiring your brain back to positive thinking, and harder still to break an addiction, though.
 
I don't have a eating disorder but I do have problems eating enough food. Usually I eat one meal every 2 days at this point in my life, maybe 1 meal a day at the most if I'm lucky enough to be that hungry. Even weed doesn't work for me, my damn medications are messing with my eating habits very much so. I hope this doesn't last :(

-dp

Depression & Anxiety MEGA Thread - Depression/Anxiety Talk + Over 100 Links of Info
 
Well dear, if you want someone that understand that one ALLL to well, I feel ya! Its kinda a constant thing for me. The weight I've put on is starting to drop off again and I feel pretty helpless to do anything about it.
 
How are you going these days stardust.hero?? Do you still have issues with weight/food etc? I hope you're doing well <3
 
^ Yeh, stigma aside, it sounds like the job is good for you mia :) Lots of exercise, you get to keep practicing dancing skills, and good pay right?
 
I still and will always feel disgusting, ugly, fat. Everyone tells me I'm not even fat, but you all know how it goes...
I've fucked up my stomach not just from purging but also from fucking around with a lot of pills (prescription and other drugs). I can't ever eat without wanting to throw up. Unless it's lots of greens/veggies. Can't drink soda and orange juice upsets my stomach (I love the stuff :[)

I've tried to get better so many times, but I just can't. The habit of purging always comes back.
 
I know what you mean; I have such bad body dysmorphia that the only thing that snaps me out of it is going to a workout class and seeing my body in COMPARISON to most- then I get an epiphany "i AM kind of thin!"

It doesn't last though, and I wonder if I will ever see my body in the way that others do.

My stomach has been really nauseas lately as well. For the past few days, I was sick ALLL the time b/c I was dosing w/GHB to go to sleep (super manic insomniac right now). It was nice getting some sleep, but sucked ass feeling like a nauseaus wreck all day.

It's been a decade-long ADDICTION for me. I'm just taking it one day at a time. That's all we
can do.
 
BeckyLee said:
I know what you mean; I have such bad body dysmorphia that the only thing that snaps me out of it is going to a workout class and seeing my body....looking fit in the mirrors
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I feel the same way up until the part where I edited your quote ;)

This is why I take nearly naked pictures of myself and expose myself to strangers. Not for reassurance but to remind myself of me. This is why I take group exercise classes in front of huge mirrors. To share positive energy and motivate one another to excel physically. This is why I buy form fittng work-out wear that accentuate my committment to a healthy lifestyle. To remind me that I CAN wear clothes that fit me!

I lost a good chunk of time not appreciating myself and dealing with emotions improperly. I spent many years pretending I was truly happy.

I have overcome a binge eating disorder for the most part. The mental aspect comes back and lingers shortly every once in a while. It has been a year since my last therapy session. Thank you Dr. for helping me and making me work to find my way.

I remind myself of who I am and who I want to be in different ways, not all of them physical. I am a kinder person. I don't ever want to be that girl with the eating disorder that no one knows about. It was a lot of stressful negative work being that girl. I am done with that.
 
I'm going through sort of a problem at the moment. It's exam time at uni and the stress of studying has made my meth use skyrocket and my weight plummet.

I've always had issues with my body. I HATE how I look. I feel as though people are lying to me when they compliment me and I want to be thin. Basically I want to be perfect but I dont know my perfect weight? Aargh I'm not explaining this properly....

*distressed*

The thing that prompted me to write, and the main thing that is worrying me at the moment is I stood on the scales and saw that I had reached my scary low weight. Thats when I look a little scary, dark circles under my eyes and my hip bones dig into the mattress so I can't sleep properly. I dont like being at my scary weight but there is a part of me that wants to push it further to see how low I can go.

I have no energy at the moment. I can't really move. I can't really think. But now I need to study so I guess I'll get high, learn a bit, and maybe forget about my stupid weight, my stupid body and my stupid innability to be perfect.

I hate me :(
 
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i suggest watching Intervention on hulu.com

there is a touching story about a woman addicted to eating, laxative pills, and water pills

its a serious illness that can really effect your health mentally and physically
 
belarki said:
^ Yeh, stigma aside, it sounds like the job is good for you mia :) Lots of exercise, you get to keep practicing dancing skills, and good pay right?
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Pretty much. And I have guys telling me how hot I am with $ and words constantly which helps! haha.

The only thing I hate is I'm too lazy when I get back at 5/6 am to cook myself good food, so I've been eating junk.
 
Of course it is work to stop the cycle of any addiction. Try again.
I am saddened that you would rather use meth to maintain your weight, combat stress, and aid in studying.
 
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