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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

We Love Cricket Thread

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In the past week I have read a couple of stories that illustrate his dry humour. Andrew Strauss told of the High Commission function in India where Hoggard spied the Duchess of Cornwall and the Prince of Wales appearing to head for the door and addressed her with: “You’re not leaving early, are you? If you are, I’m coming with you.”

Then there was his line at the Downing Street reception during last year’s Ashes celebrations. As the prime minister led the players out to a bank of waiting cameramen, saying, “I wonder what they want?” Hoggard hit him with a scathing put-down: “A photo, you knob.” I would have been proud of that, even if I might have left out the last two words.
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I hope Hoggard falls in favour with the selectors again in time for the Ashes :D
 
What the fuck is this reduced over bollocks. We would have trounced the WIndies was it not for that.
 
You realise there was a thunderstorm at the ground? Match didn't finish till after 9pm?

They did the best they could to get any play in at all. I wish they were able to finish games the next day, but with modern tournament structures that's just not possible. Was bad luck for England, you were all over them for large parts of the game.

Spent Sunday at Lord's watching Ireland-Lanka and England-India, all comped thanks to a mate who's a big client of our hosts :). Far, far too much Pimms. But was a great day. Fascinating to see how many Indians were there; also how loud they were compared to English (bear in mind, I've been at matches in NZ where the crowd has been 75% English, and they've made all the noise, but then to go to Lord's and see the reverse, and not hear anyone singing English chants, was quite weird. I nearly started some myself but I'm not sure the English would have known them.

Anyone know why the Barmy Army wasn't there?

Also, impressed by Ireland; they look to have some real proper cricket players there, and I hope they can go on to greater things.
 
If there's one thing more predictable than England getting beat in tournaments they can't win it's South Africa getting beat in tournaments they can win.

Hahaha.

:)
 
Pakistan v Sri Lanka should be a good final, in'shallah.

NZ vs Aus or England in the women's final. Could be interesting, the Kiwis seem to be in good form (though I've only been following it on Cricinfo). But the English women's team are pretty damn good from what I've seen.

Could be the last match England win this summer, hope you lot are all watching ;)
 
I fucking hate cricket. It's fucking shit. Its summer get outdoor and stop watching fucking cricket. Fuck cricket. Cricket cricket fucking cricket.

I HATE CRICKET..there ---at the risk of losing all my male friends on IFF..i have finally said it..

I fail to understand what it is about this game that turns perfectly normal , sane , handsome Indian guys into..either wild tribal dancing screaming banshees on winning or totally depressed , abusive , alcohol inclined, malicious schizophrenics on losing ..hey guys its just a gameeeeee.. and a very stupid one at that..

ok just explain this LBW TO ME PLEASE..First you ask a guy all guarded up to go , stand infront of 3 damn sticks and protect them from being hit come what may... and when a guy does that by using his legs..you send him packing..if you don't want him to use his legs ..might as well tell him to stand 'behind' the wickets and play with his bat infront of the wickets..right?

Another thing i fail to get..the orgasmIC look all guys get when a ball is caught.Listen guys ..if a speeding ball was coming at your face / head / neck / shoulder , abdomen etc..you would catch it as a reflexive action...right ?..unless you want to be served as curried brain / neck/ shoulder / abdomen etc on green grass to the spectators..and whats so great about catching with all that protective gear anyway.? Also remember a dead man can't spend all that moolah..uffff.. keep that look for when you see Mallika Sherawat do her gyrating number... it looks more appropriate..!!

And yesSSS..i really pity Sachin Tendulkar..he must be rueing the day he was born an Indian..i mean..guys come onnn..there are only so many ways he can show you how to execute a cover drive , a straight drive , a cut or a pull , a reverse sweep etc..and yet you refuse to learn..i mean..he's already given you what 36 centuries and more..and yet you keep asking for more..hey ,get a brain or leave the poor guy alone..he needs to retire..( reminds me of the saying about a dogs tail never straightening..!!)

As for all that protective gear..gosh..SISSIES..THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM..Now i have played hockey in my time..and with no protective gear..( not even a breast guard ok.?) and i took all the bruises , scrapes and hits on my shins and legs and am still alive ..why the hell can't they be strong enough and take a few bumps and bruises...? is it an oxymoron..? A STRONG MAN..? sissies sissies sissies...

ANDDD to top it all..After getting paid so damn much ,they get all their gear sponsered...and you guys still don't get it..its not cricket..its the MOOLAH...!!HMMM but one 'guard' i would love to see sponsered..the 'abdomen guard 'and it should be made mandatory..for the batsmen to come to the crease..take out his abdomen guard from his pant and show it ..along with what it protects ..for atleast 3 minutes in front of the live cameras before taking his line up..hmm the commentating would surely get a damn more interesting rather than boring drivel they keep dishing out to you Indian guys who still can't seem to get enough..the commentaters could spend hours just discussing the size , shape , look , worthiness , value etc..----of the abdomen guard..guyssss...

As for the language..if i did not know what i do know about the game and was only listening to commentary..i would surely be blushing and would realise why the population in our country is as it is..ok so heres a sample ..

" HE GENTLY SLIDES THE BALL THROUGH THE COVERS..SO SWEETLY.."

" HE IS RUBBING THE BALL RIGOROUSLY BETWEEN HIS HANDS..TRYING TO MAKE IT SHINE.."

" HE CATCHES THE BALL WITH BOTH HIS HANDS AND HOLDS IT CLOSE TO HIS CHEST.."

" THE LONG LEG GOES WIDER..THE SHORT LEG COMES UP AND NOW WE CAN SEE THE WIDE SPACE BETWEEN THE COVERS.."

"THE BALL JUST SLIDES SMOOTHLY BETWEEN THE SLIPS..."

" THE FORWARD SHORT LEG STANDS AS CLOSE TO THE BALL AS POSSIBLE HOPING TO CATCH IT..!!"

"---AND THE FINGER OF THE UMPIRE GOES UP..."

" THE BALL SEEMS TO HAVE LOST ITS SHAPE..AND IS NOW CERTAINLY LOOKING OLD AND SCRUFFY DUE TO THE HARD HITTING IT HAS BEEN PUT THROUGH "

i am sorry but i just can't continue anymore..gosh is it hot in here ..?

Of course one more reason why i really am not interested in this game..i have yet to see my son's nails grow beyond one centimeter in length..everytime they threaten to grow a bit ..we have these games where our team turns a 100% winnable match into a nail biting , hair standing / hair pulling, heart attack provoking , anxiety attacking , blood pressure raising , panic overtaking , murder desiring , despair overtaking, beating the living daylights out of wanting , anger mounting etc etc..DEFEAT..Any one who saw the last SA v/s India series will agree with me i'm sure..

Anyway , i just needed to write this and get it off my chest..and i have..hmm..I HATE CRICKET.

BTW--When is the next series starting...? NO NO i am not going to watch the match..i just want to check out the latest sunglasses Yuvraj is wearing..and Tendulkars Tag Heur watch..and Dhoni's diamond ear stud..and Sreeshanths gyrating hips ...(i need to practise it to get it right for the marriage i am attending!!)
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That quote is so bad its not even funny.

Wonder why the person can still refer back to SA vs India though.

Fail troll is fail.
 
But afternoon tea is had so it must be ok, while tea scones and lil sandwiches are being served anyway... :D

ok I'm leaving this thread now :p
 
Do stay :)

I really should go to sleep, off to Bath tomorrow afternoon. Big(ish) match tomorrow.
 
eDDe9 said:
Do stay :)

I really should go to sleep, off to Bath tomorrow afternoon. Big(ish) match tomorrow.
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Have you got strawberry tarts and cucumber butties? If yes, I'm all yours <3

Surely it'll be a fine sunny day tomorrow for tea and checked tablecloths =D hmm n rubbing balls on your trouser leg :|
 
Oh and a pint of cider or semi-chilled glass of white.

Hope you know how to work the score book :)
 
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