Seems like you are well on your way to becoming a full-blown opiate addict. If you can't just take what is prescribed and you keep trying to get high, you may very well already be addicted. Try not having any for aweek or two and see how you go.
-
-
Trip Reports Moderator: M!$ter-ED
Opioids - first time - Fun
- Thread starter John_Burrows
- Start date
I love how you go like 40 hours without the drug and you think your SO in the clear. but then you ALWAYS come home and "ahh what the hell , snort a few dillys"
im LOLing IRL.
At this point john, there isn't a single doubt in my mind you are dependent on them. Not a single doubt.
go 3 days or 1 week without the drug. then post back with your results.
If you honestly, as a man come back and tell me you feel OK. then i will change my name to DICK SUCKER and i will disappear from the internet.
im LOLing IRL.
At this point john, there isn't a single doubt in my mind you are dependent on them. Not a single doubt.
go 3 days or 1 week without the drug. then post back with your results.
If you honestly, as a man come back and tell me you feel OK. then i will change my name to DICK SUCKER and i will disappear from the internet.
Draigan
Ex-Bluelighter
Bro percs fuck your stomach. Honestly, 5 percs probably has your stomach bleeding.
I honestly think your going to fuck yourself. Opiates addiction is different than other addictions. They change your brain man. All youll think about it opiates. Youll go mad craving for them.
I honestly think your going to fuck yourself. Opiates addiction is different than other addictions. They change your brain man. All youll think about it opiates. Youll go mad craving for them.
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
Well, Enyay, someone said they bet I couldn't even go a day without taking any, so I tried it.
Two days will be next! Or at least trying a day or two with a far smaller dosage.
I average 5 a day (at one time), so if I can get by on two, that would be a good step.
Two days will be next! Or at least trying a day or two with a far smaller dosage.
I average 5 a day (at one time), so if I can get by on two, that would be a good step.
Uhh, dude, depression and anxiety are very shrewd fiends.
When I had never experienced withdrawals before, I thought that the depression and anxiety I would feel would revolve around the drugs. For example, I thought that the only things I would think of would be scoring some more pills to down. But I slowly realized that the the depression and anxiety would not make me think about the drugs as much as I'd think about my life from a painfully negative perspective. What I'm trying to say is that, the first time you experience depression/anxiety from withdrawals, you most probably won't notice that it's because of the drugs; you will really think that it's your life in general that you are unhappy with.
Well, I'm not you, and it is possible that you really are unsatisfied with the things you listed above, but my opinion is that it's mild withdrawals already. Addiction really is a sneaky motherfucker.
Sounds to me like the very meager beginnings of intense withdrawals. The first paragraph mentions depression, the second paragraph mentions anxiety (the kind that makes you SHAKE lol). Sure, you could say that the triggers of these emotions are the parts of your life that you are unhappy with, but do you really think that your painkiller abuse has NOTHING to do with it?
When I had never experienced withdrawals before, I thought that the depression and anxiety I would feel would revolve around the drugs. For example, I thought that the only things I would think of would be scoring some more pills to down. But I slowly realized that the the depression and anxiety would not make me think about the drugs as much as I'd think about my life from a painfully negative perspective. What I'm trying to say is that, the first time you experience depression/anxiety from withdrawals, you most probably won't notice that it's because of the drugs; you will really think that it's your life in general that you are unhappy with.
Well, I'm not you, and it is possible that you really are unsatisfied with the things you listed above, but my opinion is that it's mild withdrawals already. Addiction really is a sneaky motherfucker.
The text in boldface convinces me that you are addicted. It is simple rationalization that will only get more and more reckless if you do not QUIT now.
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
I appreciate everyone's insight and advice, I really do (except for Enyay, who at first baffled me with his negative commentary, bordering on attack. I finally realized he's jealous, so he feels the need to cut me down. Enyay, you are not helping this discussion, so please either lay off or grow up).
Without everyone's comments here, I would not have really given much thought to addiction, so at the very least I am glad to have been given the head's up. I agree that it is impossible for me to be taking so much of this stuff and NOT have some negative side effects, so it's just a matter of figuring out just how bad it's going to be and how to minimize it.
I was talking to a friend last night who has a LOT of drug experience (mostly perscription pain killer and anti-depressents) and she also has a very good doctor friend. I spoke with her at legnth about my situation. When I told her about how my tolerance had gone up and it was tough to still get high, she suggested "well you can always take more." When I told her that I was worried about addiction so I would rather deal with the disappointment of the stuff not working anymore rather than up my dosage, she said "well then you're not addicited, so I wouldn't worry too much."
Now, I'm not saying I don't still have a cross to bear, but it is true that I refuse to keep taking more in order to get high, so I am at least happy I have that much self control.
Tonight I learned that, even with plugging, taking my dillies on an empty stomach makes a HUGE difference in whether or not they work. I didn't think it would matter that much since it wasn't going through my digestive track, but there you go. I slept most of the day and didn't eat a thing, so when I plugged a few hours ago, it was on a totally empty stomach. And it felt pretty nice.
In any case, the bottom line is I'd rather plan ahead and work with an empty stomach than take more pills.
The line I've drawn for myself is about 30mg (give or take a pill), and I simply won't go over it (I try to keep it closer to 20mg). Someone please tell me that at least THIS is a step in the right direction!
The way I look at it now is this - I have a routine. I spend my days unemployed, trying to work up the energy to get some work done and push myself closer to getting a job. In the evening, I look forward to relieving my stress by lighting some candles, putting on mellow music, taking my dillies and enjoying a few hours in cyberspace.
For the moment, I am satisfied. I am praying for a break in my routine that involves getting a job and/or a girlfriend so I have a major change in my life that will make it easier to give up the medicinal part of my routine.
For example, if I had a girlfriend and spent the weekend with her, I am pretty sure I'd be distracted and happy enough that I wouldn't even think twice about the dillies. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'd go though huge withdrawls, but something inside tells me I'm right about this.
All I know is I would LOVE to have an opportunity to just get away for a weekend, leave the pills behind and give myself something to do that keeps me away from my routine.
Sure, I could just make myself promise to lay off the pills for a few days, but of course it's not that easy. I'm not superman, and as I have seen many Bluelighters say, if you got pills laying around, you're just going to take them.
I either need someone to spend the weekend with me so I'm distracted, or to go away for a weekend and not bring them.
Until any of these things happen, my routine makes me happy and either I know myself well enough or I'm just plain stupid but I believe this routine is not going to lead to the unraveling of my life.
But I REALLY want a weekend distraction RIGHT NOW so I can find out how I'll handle 2 or 3 days without pills. THAT is the experiment I need to see how I'm going to handle it down the road.
Has anyone else every tried something like this? Have any of you been in a routine that you thought you had under control, and then spent 2 or 3 days away from the drugs? What happened?
Without everyone's comments here, I would not have really given much thought to addiction, so at the very least I am glad to have been given the head's up. I agree that it is impossible for me to be taking so much of this stuff and NOT have some negative side effects, so it's just a matter of figuring out just how bad it's going to be and how to minimize it.
I was talking to a friend last night who has a LOT of drug experience (mostly perscription pain killer and anti-depressents) and she also has a very good doctor friend. I spoke with her at legnth about my situation. When I told her about how my tolerance had gone up and it was tough to still get high, she suggested "well you can always take more." When I told her that I was worried about addiction so I would rather deal with the disappointment of the stuff not working anymore rather than up my dosage, she said "well then you're not addicited, so I wouldn't worry too much."
Now, I'm not saying I don't still have a cross to bear, but it is true that I refuse to keep taking more in order to get high, so I am at least happy I have that much self control.
Tonight I learned that, even with plugging, taking my dillies on an empty stomach makes a HUGE difference in whether or not they work. I didn't think it would matter that much since it wasn't going through my digestive track, but there you go. I slept most of the day and didn't eat a thing, so when I plugged a few hours ago, it was on a totally empty stomach. And it felt pretty nice.
In any case, the bottom line is I'd rather plan ahead and work with an empty stomach than take more pills.
The line I've drawn for myself is about 30mg (give or take a pill), and I simply won't go over it (I try to keep it closer to 20mg). Someone please tell me that at least THIS is a step in the right direction!
The way I look at it now is this - I have a routine. I spend my days unemployed, trying to work up the energy to get some work done and push myself closer to getting a job. In the evening, I look forward to relieving my stress by lighting some candles, putting on mellow music, taking my dillies and enjoying a few hours in cyberspace.
For the moment, I am satisfied. I am praying for a break in my routine that involves getting a job and/or a girlfriend so I have a major change in my life that will make it easier to give up the medicinal part of my routine.
For example, if I had a girlfriend and spent the weekend with her, I am pretty sure I'd be distracted and happy enough that I wouldn't even think twice about the dillies. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'd go though huge withdrawls, but something inside tells me I'm right about this.
All I know is I would LOVE to have an opportunity to just get away for a weekend, leave the pills behind and give myself something to do that keeps me away from my routine.
Sure, I could just make myself promise to lay off the pills for a few days, but of course it's not that easy. I'm not superman, and as I have seen many Bluelighters say, if you got pills laying around, you're just going to take them.
I either need someone to spend the weekend with me so I'm distracted, or to go away for a weekend and not bring them.
Until any of these things happen, my routine makes me happy and either I know myself well enough or I'm just plain stupid but I believe this routine is not going to lead to the unraveling of my life.
But I REALLY want a weekend distraction RIGHT NOW so I can find out how I'll handle 2 or 3 days without pills. THAT is the experiment I need to see how I'm going to handle it down the road.
Has anyone else every tried something like this? Have any of you been in a routine that you thought you had under control, and then spent 2 or 3 days away from the drugs? What happened?
sxoxyvg
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2008
- Messages
- 66
Do this and I promise not to say "I told you so" if you get WDs
Seriously, two months is a long time to be taking hydromorphone daily, it's a strong one.
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
Well it's now 29 hours since my last hit and I'm not taking them tonight. I was out late with friends, I feel happy and just wasn't in the mood.
I have no withdrawl signs that I can identify. Ok, it's not a whole weekend yet, but a few weeks ago people were yapping that I wouldn't be able to go one day without. Not to mention most said that because Dilaudid is so short-acting, they would expect WD to kick in well before 24 hours.
So, if can go 48 hours with no WD, not even a sign, then I'm not really going to worry all that much. 30mg a day just simply may not be over the line for me.
I have no withdrawl signs that I can identify. Ok, it's not a whole weekend yet, but a few weeks ago people were yapping that I wouldn't be able to go one day without. Not to mention most said that because Dilaudid is so short-acting, they would expect WD to kick in well before 24 hours.
So, if can go 48 hours with no WD, not even a sign, then I'm not really going to worry all that much. 30mg a day just simply may not be over the line for me.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
If you're not addicted, then you would take a 2 or 3 day break on your own, since you want to.
John, the criticism is because we want to help you because we've been down or are going down the road of opiate addiction, and every post you make in here sends red flags up. I mean, really, if you're not at the beginning of an addiction, then I'm not eating freshly-ground honey-roated peanut butter right now. And I am indeed eating freshly-ground honey-roated peanut butter.
Addiction is a sneaky motherfucker... and the rationalizations are such a telltale sign. You appear to be trying to convince yourself, not us, that you're not addicted.. It seems to be working, but I think you should listen to us.
Addiction is more than physical, too.
Sigh. It's sad to follow this thread. I really, really hope I'm wrong but I'd put money on not being wrong.
Oh, but yes, it does help to change up your routine. Boredom is a big part of why I like opiates, and it's very easy to get a daily routine going that incorporates that. Changing it up and filling your day with more interesting things is probably the very best way to disrupt a fixation on drugs.
John SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH and listen to me!
god dammit man. I AM BUSTING YOUR BALLS. but WHAT THE FUCK am i jealous of! PLEASE TELL ME!
Im jealous that you have pills? i can get a pharmacy's worth at any given time. Pills are easier to come by here then fucking tic tacs.
Im banging my head against the wall because you seem like a pretty legit guy, healthy, in shape and athletic! and your life will never bee the same once you do realize what is coming to you.
I WAS LIKE YOU MAN!!!!!!!!! then everything went to SHIT john.
my frustration and anger comes from inside, because i don't want what happened to me, to happen to another person who has a good normal life going for them.
its not just MY story john, im not the only fucking guy that ate shit from a 20 story building face firt because of opiates. YOU SEE THESE 5 PAGES OF PEOPLE cringing, warning, advising you not to go down this path?
THEY ALL FELL FROM THE SAME BUILDING, ATE SHIT! AND ARE TRYING TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T
Im banging my head against the wall because even though im coming up on 3 months clean ive had to deal with intense physical and mental cravings EVERY DAY.
jealous?
ignorance IS bliss
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
When I read the first sentence I was about to tell you to keep it nice. But then I realized that it was well-placed.
Like I said, John, we're all just trying to help you, man. Allow yourself to learn from the mistakes of others. You're only listening to yourself right now. And yourself is working hard to convince you that what you're doing is okay. Again, addiction is subtle. It's not like the movies. Your posting behavior here is a clear-as-day indication of your dependence on opiates that's already begun.
Like I said, John, we're all just trying to help you, man. Allow yourself to learn from the mistakes of others. You're only listening to yourself right now. And yourself is working hard to convince you that what you're doing is okay. Again, addiction is subtle. It's not like the movies. Your posting behavior here is a clear-as-day indication of your dependence on opiates that's already begun.
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
I get what everyone is telling me. You're not beating your heads against a brick wall, because like I said, without all of you I would not have even considered that I might find myself addicted and in trouble.
But based on some of your recent comments, the one thing that I don't know if people are paying attention to is I AM NOT ENJOYING OPIATE "BLISS" ON A DAILY BASIS. As I have said, most days I'm lucky if I feel anything at all. Ever since all this started, I can count the number of times I've been REALLY high on one hand with some fingers missing. On a good day, the opiates help take away some depression and make me feel a bit more normal.
So I just don't have a history of bliss that I'll be trying to claw my way back to when the pills run out. Sure, I'll be bummed, but it's now 51 hours since I took any pills and it's just no big deal.
I'm not denying the possibility of addiction and withdrawl, but after 2 days of no pills, if I *AM* heading for trouble, wouldn't I feel something by now? Wouldn't I be craving a fix?
Everyone has warned me of fever, sweats, intense anxiety, etc. So where is it?
I truly believe that the severity of my withdrawls HAS to have some sort of relationship to the severity of how high I've been getting. Sure, if I was taking enough of this stuff to be floating off into opiate oblivion on a daily basis, and all day I was looking forward to my fix, yes, absolutely I'd be ready to belive that I'm in for a big mess when I can't do that anymore.
But my highs are mild at best, so how can any impending withdrawls be so far out of proportion? Is there nothing to be said for the fact that I refuse to keep taking higher doses to get past my tolerance? Is that not at least some sort of sign that I have this under control?
Isn't it POSSIBLE that, given my height, weight, natural tolerance and mental state, that the amount of drugs I'm taking is not enough to create insurmountable trouble for me?
But based on some of your recent comments, the one thing that I don't know if people are paying attention to is I AM NOT ENJOYING OPIATE "BLISS" ON A DAILY BASIS. As I have said, most days I'm lucky if I feel anything at all. Ever since all this started, I can count the number of times I've been REALLY high on one hand with some fingers missing. On a good day, the opiates help take away some depression and make me feel a bit more normal.
So I just don't have a history of bliss that I'll be trying to claw my way back to when the pills run out. Sure, I'll be bummed, but it's now 51 hours since I took any pills and it's just no big deal.
I'm not denying the possibility of addiction and withdrawl, but after 2 days of no pills, if I *AM* heading for trouble, wouldn't I feel something by now? Wouldn't I be craving a fix?
Everyone has warned me of fever, sweats, intense anxiety, etc. So where is it?
I truly believe that the severity of my withdrawls HAS to have some sort of relationship to the severity of how high I've been getting. Sure, if I was taking enough of this stuff to be floating off into opiate oblivion on a daily basis, and all day I was looking forward to my fix, yes, absolutely I'd be ready to belive that I'm in for a big mess when I can't do that anymore.
But my highs are mild at best, so how can any impending withdrawls be so far out of proportion? Is there nothing to be said for the fact that I refuse to keep taking higher doses to get past my tolerance? Is that not at least some sort of sign that I have this under control?
Isn't it POSSIBLE that, given my height, weight, natural tolerance and mental state, that the amount of drugs I'm taking is not enough to create insurmountable trouble for me?
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I use opiates every day. The last time I actually felt more than just normal, or slightly good on them was maybe last year. The best feeling I feel from them is when I'm starting to get all restless and antsy (withdrawal is beginning)... then when I take some, I feel relief because I go back to normal.
The text I bolded especially reminds me of me. And hey, even if you don't get withdrawals, the ability to take a pill to feel normal and remove depression is a tantalizing idea... it seems easy to stop when you have more, but once you've run out, you might find yourself coming up with all kinds of reasons and ways to get more, "just for those times you need a little extra help". try as I might, whenever I have opiates, I use them every day, even if I went into saying "I'll use these once a week, no more". The amount of rationalization you will do to convince yourself you need to dose is astounding and kind of disgusting. I mean, just from your posting, already you've displayed that numerous times, you intended on missing at least one day, but ended up dosing anyway.
Maybe this won't happen to you, but you really have no way of knowing until you're in a situation where you don't have more. It's always easy to say you'll be good when you know where your next dose is coming from.
Last edited:
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
Ok well the last few posts have really opened my eyes. I was under the assumption that most people were actually getting high from this stuff - seeing Nguboi concur that at least some others - not just me - reach a phase when they are taking them "just not to feel crappy" is a big wake up call.
So, I have begun what I hope is a successful phase-out.
For me, it's been hard to tell if my feelings of depression and overall crappiness have been due to drug withdrawl or life itself - losing my job and girlfriend and having very few friends over the holidays definitely took it's emotional toll.
Ever since the weekend, I was feeling MUCH better emotionally. Much happier and dealing with things more rationally. I went 48 hours without taking any dillies and didn't notice a change at all.
Sunday and Monday I took my pills "just because." Mind you, my goal was not to completely quit yet - I just wanted to see how I would handle 48 hours without. To see if I was staring at a big WD problem. I had decided I wasn't, so I continued my fun.
But to be honest, generally when I was taking my pills I was feeling down, but the last few days I was feeling so good, I seriously debated taking anything. I mean, why bother? I did for the same reasons I mostly do now - habbit and the HOPE that I'd get a buzz.
But I regretted dosing, since they didn't do shit for me. Oh well.
Then I read the new posts on here and decided I need to start phasing out. If I'm feeling better anyway, it's a good time to strike!
Last night (tues) as part of the taper process I only took 2 (as opposed to my usual 5 or 7). If I was feeling good, my goal for wed and thurs was none.
Well, today (wed) I'm back to feeling depressed and shitty. For the first time I'm accepting that some of it may be due to the drugs and that in the last week I have taken about half of what I had been. Could be WD, could be life, but it doesn't really matter - I need to drop the daily habbit.
I'm hoping I can skip tonight, but I don't know. At the very least, I am forcing myself on reduced dosage, so if I do take any it won't be more than 2 or 3. Hell, if I can consistantly keep myself to half of what I was taking before and skip a day here and there, I'll be happy with that as a first step.
So, I have begun what I hope is a successful phase-out.
For me, it's been hard to tell if my feelings of depression and overall crappiness have been due to drug withdrawl or life itself - losing my job and girlfriend and having very few friends over the holidays definitely took it's emotional toll.
Ever since the weekend, I was feeling MUCH better emotionally. Much happier and dealing with things more rationally. I went 48 hours without taking any dillies and didn't notice a change at all.
Sunday and Monday I took my pills "just because." Mind you, my goal was not to completely quit yet - I just wanted to see how I would handle 48 hours without. To see if I was staring at a big WD problem. I had decided I wasn't, so I continued my fun.
But to be honest, generally when I was taking my pills I was feeling down, but the last few days I was feeling so good, I seriously debated taking anything. I mean, why bother? I did for the same reasons I mostly do now - habbit and the HOPE that I'd get a buzz.
But I regretted dosing, since they didn't do shit for me. Oh well.
Then I read the new posts on here and decided I need to start phasing out. If I'm feeling better anyway, it's a good time to strike!
Last night (tues) as part of the taper process I only took 2 (as opposed to my usual 5 or 7). If I was feeling good, my goal for wed and thurs was none.
Well, today (wed) I'm back to feeling depressed and shitty. For the first time I'm accepting that some of it may be due to the drugs and that in the last week I have taken about half of what I had been. Could be WD, could be life, but it doesn't really matter - I need to drop the daily habbit.
I'm hoping I can skip tonight, but I don't know. At the very least, I am forcing myself on reduced dosage, so if I do take any it won't be more than 2 or 3. Hell, if I can consistantly keep myself to half of what I was taking before and skip a day here and there, I'll be happy with that as a first step.
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
Oh I have no plans to stop using them completely! But my goal is to ditch the every day use and save them for weekends when I'm stuck with nothing to do, or days when I'm feeling really down. If I can keep it to once or twice a week, I'll be happy. That's what I was doing with the poppy tea a few months before all this shit with my back started and I got the pills.
I think I still have about 200 pills, so if I can reach my goal, they'll last a long time.
And, of course, I have to keep a stash on hand just in case I have any, you know, actual PAIN! The whole reason the doc gave me such a large perscription was so I could have them around just in case.
Anyway, it's weird, like you said, there seems to be very little consitency. Like over the weekend, when I hadn't taken any in 48 hours, I was feeling FINE. No obvious WD or feeling crappy at all.
And the last few days were fine, but today for some reason, WHAM, I felt shitty. And I have a feeling it's WD. What I'm guessing it happening is I'm really being inconsistant with what I'm taking, so my body is freaking out and going haywire. Maybe the way I feel today is the result of 5 days of random usage and dosages.
So, right now I'm in my tapering phase. Everyone says it's not a good idea to go cold turkey, and my experiment not to take any for 48 hours was probably a bad idea.
Tonight I plugged 2 and a half (yes, I actually cut a pill in half) which is less than half the usual for me. For the next few days, even if i'm feeling good, I'll probably still use a few, just so I can consistently drop my usage.
Next week I'll go from 2 or 3 a day to 2 or 1 per day, then I'll start every other day.
Another thing I like is that, even if I'm not taking enough to feel anything, the psychological satisfaction of actually still taking a few helps deal with the anxiety of just not touching it at all.
With any luck, in a few weeks I'll be at my goal.
Poor Enyay will be so pissed off!
I think I still have about 200 pills, so if I can reach my goal, they'll last a long time.
And, of course, I have to keep a stash on hand just in case I have any, you know, actual PAIN! The whole reason the doc gave me such a large perscription was so I could have them around just in case.
Anyway, it's weird, like you said, there seems to be very little consitency. Like over the weekend, when I hadn't taken any in 48 hours, I was feeling FINE. No obvious WD or feeling crappy at all.
And the last few days were fine, but today for some reason, WHAM, I felt shitty. And I have a feeling it's WD. What I'm guessing it happening is I'm really being inconsistant with what I'm taking, so my body is freaking out and going haywire. Maybe the way I feel today is the result of 5 days of random usage and dosages.
So, right now I'm in my tapering phase. Everyone says it's not a good idea to go cold turkey, and my experiment not to take any for 48 hours was probably a bad idea.
Tonight I plugged 2 and a half (yes, I actually cut a pill in half) which is less than half the usual for me. For the next few days, even if i'm feeling good, I'll probably still use a few, just so I can consistently drop my usage.
Next week I'll go from 2 or 3 a day to 2 or 1 per day, then I'll start every other day.
Another thing I like is that, even if I'm not taking enough to feel anything, the psychological satisfaction of actually still taking a few helps deal with the anxiety of just not touching it at all.
With any luck, in a few weeks I'll be at my goal.
Poor Enyay will be so pissed off!
pissed off?
dude ile be as happy as a motherfucker.
i hope everything works out for you john. Im not an asshole, well i am but i have good intentions.
i would not want to see someone else go down the road i did.
you think getting addicted is tough? you think going through a a month of HELLISH almost suicidal withdrawals is tough? and PAWS is tough?
try relapsing john.
try relapsing......
makes you feel like a piece of shit in a port a potty that has not been cleaned in months...
:-(
dude ile be as happy as a motherfucker.
i hope everything works out for you john. Im not an asshole, well i am but i have good intentions.
i would not want to see someone else go down the road i did.
you think getting addicted is tough? you think going through a a month of HELLISH almost suicidal withdrawals is tough? and PAWS is tough?
try relapsing john.
try relapsing......
makes you feel like a piece of shit in a port a potty that has not been cleaned in months...
:-(
recovered80
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2009
- Messages
- 1
Just out of curiousity...how many people in here go to pain management docs? I go because of several herniated discs in my back (my car was literally cut in half by a tree in an accident over 10 years ago). Its very odd with me though. I started out addicted to drinking..so bad that I had to go to inpatient rehab for 10 days. I hadnt yet been to a pain management doc at the time, and I confided in other patients in rehab that I had some opiates (codeine, oxycodone) at home that my reg doc had given me,and I didnt see a big deal with what opiates were about...I thought it was very lame that people would actually abused prescription meds. Well, when I got out of rehab, I started going to pain management for my back, and my doc put me on dilaudid immediately, and about a year later on opana. I now have over 6 months clean of alchohol, but am hooked on these opiates. (I figured that alcohol was making me gain way too much weight, and took a lot of drinking to get a buzz, whereas opiates didnt make me gain anything, and could be taken within seconds)
What do you all think of pain management doctors? Are they just glorified drug pushers, or do they actually help?
What do you all think of pain management doctors? Are they just glorified drug pushers, or do they actually help?