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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

Opioids - first time - Fun

Ok so here is an update... haven't quit yet, but I am still holding at half what I used to be taking. I'm currently on four 4mg dillies per day. Seems like a managable number.

I was ready to taper down even more, but my damn sciatic nerve pain started acting up again, so I;m back to actually needing this stuff for the reason it was intended. Believe me, I'm not happy about it, for 2 weeks I was totally pain-free, then it kicked in again.

And I let my medical insurance lapse, so I have to hope it goes away again soon. Can't afford to go to the hospital and get any more cortisone shots.

I may have to go back to my doc and get another script for dillies if this keeps up, I have maybe a month of pills left. If I remember, they're not very expensive, maybe a buck a pill.

In any case, I'm glad I was able to cut down my dosage. 4 pills still does the job.
 
Respect

John, i only stumbled across this site not too long ago, and i have just sat here reading all these posts for the last hour or so.

I first off what to say im sorry for your back pain, and that im envious of your tolerance to opiates. All i get is about 1hrs worth of nausea out of them at far less dosage than what you are taking.

I think that your are starting to get a physical dependence(Natural side effect from your dosage), but as for psychological one.(You do have to be honest with yourself.if you end up plugging even if you said to yourself you woudnt, then maybe you have a problem) Your ability to cut down and your refusal to IV'it show that you are indeed have at least some control over your actions, and therefore not a junkie in my eye.

But you are on a perilous cliff where so many of us have been before, for one reason or another. Im not here to point fingers or to pick at you as i know i dont know what the pain is like or what else you have been through, just to express my concern.

Best of luck!
 
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Once you have a real experience on opiates and realize how awesome the high is and how seamless the comedown is you suddenly realize it would be nice to have some PKs laying around.

However, although everyone goes through that phase, the next step is finding more opiates.

I believe pretty much the only thing stopping a good chunk of the people who have tried opiates and managed not to get addicted is that those people did not have a steady and reliable source for their PKs. Looking back at the times opiates could be readily found I am actually thankful all those connections dried up (the dealers all went to rehab after they needed 100's of MGs) and know that I would have spent all my money on them and certainly sought ways to make an extra buck

Once you find a steady source you realize how agonizing it is to be in love with opiates...

If you already have a steady source all I can say is Good Luck!
 
Hey John

Just wondering how you have been and how things have been going for you?
 
Just like to say that I have also been reading this for the past 90 or so minutes, very interesting!

Keep on posting! :)

Now I am tempted to try and find some strong pain killers and get this buzz, wonder what it's like? :D
 
This is not the appropriate place to:

1 - Insult addicts

2 - Ask questions about how to score pain meds

3 - Insult people at all

So please don't, anymore.
 
^^^

Thank you very much :)

john are you alive?

all jokes aside i hope your doing well. Give us an update man
 
Honestly, when I first saw this thread I thought it was a troll. Like someone posting the complete picture of a clueless person getting hooked on drugs against all advice.

I'm glad you came to your senses, John. Pills maybe be legally prescribed to you, but they are just as capable of taking over your life as any other drug.
 
You didn't "See Elvis"? What exactly are you seeking in an opiate experience, an acid trip? That's not what opiates do. For most people who take them recreationally, they serve as a short-lived mood brightener/euphoriant that decreases inhibitions and self-consciousness and provides a warm, somewhat numb feeling in the body. The most intense thing you're gonna get from an opiate--ANY opiate--is a strong nod on the one end of the spectrum (a "nod" consists of closed-eye visuals and a feeling of deep relaxation similar to sleep) and intense itching, vomiting, and dizziness at the other end. Elvis apparitions won't be making an appearance unless the opiates trigger some sort of latent mental disorder that causes hallucinations, which I've never heard of but could happen in theory.

There are some relatively safe ways to enhance an opiate experience, like by smoking some high-grade weed, using antihistamines like promethazine or Benadryl to increase the sedation and "nod", or taking some quinine with your dose, which is supposed to potentiate opiates. Mixing them with alcohol, tranquilizers, or benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium, etc.) is dangerous, especially for an inexperienced user, and can cause respiratory depression and death.

If you're not getting anything much out of opiates, maybe they're just not right for you, which could actually be a blessing in disguise. Try it a few more times, but resolve to move on and give it up if you find yourself constantly seeking ways to keep the high going or make it stronger. And whatever you do, DON'T snort or inject.
 
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It seems like john has preformed a disappearing act.

Another one bites the dust....
 
man this is too bad.... i'm no doctor, but i think i've got a pretty good understanding of addiction.
so many misconceptions end up doing so much harm - i wish you all the best john, really hope everything is ok!
 
I am just finishing page two of this thread and am in tears. I'm not sure I can finish this one out. I pity you John_Burrows and hope you can come out of this okay. I was hooked taking 1/4 of the doses you were taking. and I didn't even know it either.

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Wow, I really wish you would give us an update John_burrows, I really an wondering if you have weened off and are the strong person you think you are,
Or the alternative, detox which I'm guessing followed by residential rehab, or outpatient rehab
And of course the suboxone treatment.

Please let us know how you are, believe it or not you started this story you should be able to finish it for us :(
 
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sounds like you're a hardhead

this is a blessing, not a curse

take your meds as directed and be happy with that
 
defn said:
Please let us know how you are, believe it or not you started this story you should be able to finish it for us :(
Click to expand...

he prides his ego to much and isn't willing to admit his wrong.

prove me wrong john. i want to hear that your doing ok and that you have no problems.

you started this. we tried to help and you ran like a little girl.

crawl out of your hole and let us know whats going on.
 
As usual, thanks for the schitzophrenic comments, enyay. Even when I'm NOT posting you still need to pop in and make a few jabs. What IS your deal, man? Get some help!

Anyway, to the others, thanks for voicing concern. I apologize for dropping out for so long. Honestly, there wasn't much to report - at first. Since my back pain had faded, I was phasing out my dillies and everything was fine.

Then at the end of January I was in a car accident. At first it seemed like my car was the only thing damaged, but a few days later the back pain started up again... and became WORSE than it was before!

Long story short, I got the results of a new MRI about a week ago and the disc herniation has gotten MUCH worse. The return of the pain - and I'd say at about double the intensity of before - meant I had to start taking MORE dilaudid.

Sigh. Sure, of course part of me enjoys having a legit excuse to take pain meds, but at the same time I was actually happy to be phasing them out. I was down to 12mg a day!

Sure enough, I began to see the first signs of withdrawl symptoms, so at least I know how to identify them now. Basically, it's a vague, overall crappy feeling. It takes maybe 12 hours or so for it to get to the point where I want to do something about it, so I take ONE 4mg dillie and it does the trick (and it helps the pain too - imagine that!)

So here is where I'm at now - same as before, I take a large dose in the evenings (24mg) when I need to take care of the pain most so I can sit in front of my computer and work.

Twice during the day, I take a single 4mg pill to deal with pain and withdrawl symptoms.

This has been my routine since the end of January. Since I've maintained consistency, I am naiive enough to believe i have it under control.

In two weeks I go in for surgery (microdiscectomy), and in theory the day after the surgery the sciatic pain will be gone. My back will be sore for a few weeks, but if all goes well by mid-april I should be back to normal.

That's when I'll be able to, once again, start phasing out the painkillers. I did it once before, so I'm confident I'll be able to do it again... a little less every week.

Since I last posted this has been it. No binges, no experimenting with new meds, and no IV.

And every day I take a long, hard look inside the toilet - sometimes with a flashlight - and as of yet there is no sign of my life down there!

Fingers crossed...
 
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