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Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v11

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cloudflare said:
I also have sleep disturbances and waking up at night; they developed around 2 months being off the shot and not before. Lately, I also experience a lot of intrusive thoughts or painful nostalgic recollection as some have put it.
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I have the same sleep disturbances. The painful nostalgic memories have eased a bit as of recently.
 
Little close to four months and it seems practically no improvements except my akathisia has eased up. I did report improvements before, but that was just placebo. This by far has been the hardest trial of my life and I don’t know if I can hold on. I hope by at least month 6 I will notice some improvement. I would pray for help, but after this experience I’m not sure if there is any god. I’m experiencing suicidal thoughts as of now, as the thought of living with my situation is painful. I’ve lost everything.
 
lukeflowz said:
Little close to four months and it seems practically no improvements except my akathisia has eased up. I did report improvements before, but that was just placebo. This by far has been the hardest trial of my life and I don’t know if I can hold on. I hope by at least month 6 I will notice some improvement. I would pray for help, but after this experience I’m not sure if there is any god. I’m experiencing suicidal thoughts as of now, as the thought of living with my situation is painful. I’ve lost everything.
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I think you should hold on. 4 months is super early. Most people recover… I know it’s hard but you should give yourself a chance.
 
rawbanana said:
I think you should hold on. 4 months is super early. Most people recover… I know it’s hard but you should give yourself a chance.
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Thanks for the encouragement, I hope you are improving since the last time I spoke with you. It’s a weird drug—you would think at least in time of almost 4 months that you would find at least some improvements in your mood, energy, motivation—but I don’t.
 
lukeflowz said:
Little close to four months and it seems practically no improvements except my akathisia has eased up. I did report improvements before, but that was just placebo. This by far has been the hardest trial of my life and I don’t know if I can hold on. I hope by at least month 6 I will notice some improvement. I would pray for help, but after this experience I’m not sure if there is any god. I’m experiencing suicidal thoughts as of now, as the thought of living with my situation is painful. I’ve lost everything.
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Think of it as a speed bump in your life. Right now it does feel like things will never be the same again. Just today @IOSIP shared how many suicide attempts he made thinking the same as you. He fully recovered in 12 months. Start smoking or injesting weed whenever you start to feel it is what i recommend.
 
anonymoususer777 said:
Think of it as a speed bump in your life. Right now it does feel like things will never be the same again. Just today @IOSIP shared how many suicide attempts he made thinking the same as you. He fully recovered in 12 months. Start smoking or injesting weed whenever you start to feel it is what i recommend.
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Unfortunately weed for me is a no go as it could trigger another psychosis. I’m going to just have to wait this out. I’m taking supplements and drinking teas. I hope you find some recovery signs soon. It’s a tough situation for us all.
 
paranoid android said:
The test is going really good just had to give myself a injection of it actually. Im on 150mg's every week now. Im going to wait until i get blood work back and also wait 8 weeks for any hair losss to show up before i go up to 200mg's every week. I l probably go up to 250 but im going to get more blood work done before that happens. I managed to put n alot of muscle by working out to. I went from doing 25lbs dumbbell curls to doing 165lbs barbell curls now.

Coke is shit anyway lol. I really only did it i think because i didnt have my morphine and couldnt get it up lol. I was pissed off. When got my morphine back and eventually my sex drive i didnt really need it. I think i was just sublimating with coke. Freud would have a field day with that loln

And ya nothng beats waking up in your own bed knowing you dont have yo get a blood test done after waking up. They had sanka "coffe" at our psych ward but if you where allowed off the ward and had money you could buy coffee at the canteen. It was pricey and not as good as tim hortins and in any case i used ay excuse to leave the hospital lol. I so hated going back to the psych ward every night. I didnt go home as i live a hour away from the psych ward but i did go to my grandmas old huse whre my mom was and slept there for abit cause nooe slept in the psych ward. It was impossibl;e to sleep in there with the nurses checking on you wth flashlights every half hour, the noise and all the light on the ward. It was so hard to go back to that goddamn hospital bed after sleeping at the one at my grandmas.

I so appreciate the little thibgs more in ife. Juat simple shit like being able to have s coffee and a cig whever i want, a joibt or a drink whe never i want. Or cook my own food thats not shitty psych ward food. Thay was disgusting but i ate it anyway usually
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Awesome the testosterone is going well for you, do you have to take it for life now?

I remember drinking the decaffeinated coffee at the ward not realising it was decaf but wondering why it wasn’t doing shit for me, didn’t take me long to figure it out. Absolutely hated how the nurses would come check on you so frequently, i forced myself to sleep there cause if you’re not eating or sleeping they don’t let you leave but I mean, pretty fucked forcing yourself to sleep on a shitty bed while some nutcase in the next room is scratching at the wall and speaking to spirits, nurses coming to check on you, bright light coming through from outside and it being freezing fkn cold. Psych ward food was actually pretty decent where I was, a couple of the plates looked questionable but other than that I’d say they pay the kitchen people pretty well here
 
Invegatorture said:
Did you need the coffee to think because of the antipsychotics? When I was in the psych ward I also drank a lot of coffee on my leave to make me feel more alive.
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I think cause I’ve been drinking coffee for a long time so it’s habit plus having such poor quality sleep. I was refusing medication cause I didn’t wanna be knocked out hence why they sent me home with injections but a previous time I was in there I remember calling my dad and asking him to bring me double shot iced coffee cause the drugs had me fucked up and I felt like I needed to wake up
 
demileigh said:
Awesome the testosterone is going well for you, do you have to take it for life now?

I remember drinking the decaffeinated coffee at the ward not realising it was decaf but wondering why it wasn’t doing shit for me, didn’t take me long to figure it out. Absolutely hated how the nurses would come check on you so frequently, i forced myself to sleep there cause if you’re not eating or sleeping they don’t let you leave but I mean, pretty fucked forcing yourself to sleep on a shitty bed while some nutcase in the next room is scratching at the wall and speaking to spirits, nurses coming to check on you, bright light coming through from outside and it being freezing fkn cold. Psych ward food was actually pretty decent where I was, a couple of the plates looked questionable but other than that I’d say they pay the kitchen people pretty well here
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Ya its for like unless you wanna go back to having lower then normal test levels of course. I dont mind anyway a injection once a week isnt a big deal

Ya the tea and coffee was fucking decaf. It's like they took the fucking joy out of everything lol
 
From what I've read, these painful nostalgic memories are most likely caused by a hyperactive amygdala paired with an underactive/weak prefontal cortex. The prefontal cortex (PFC) is responsible for planning, decision-making, working memory, social behaviour, as well as language. For many, this is one of the last area to heal coming off of a dopamine antagonist like invega.
 
cloudflare said:
From what I've read, these painful nostalgic memories are most likely caused by a hyperactive amygdala paired with an underactive/weak prefontal cortex. The prefontal cortex (PFC) is responsible for planning, decision-making, working memory, social behaviour, as well as language. For many, this is one of the last area to heal coming off of a dopamine antagonist like invega.
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I get those too
 
cloudflare said:
From what I've read, these painful nostalgic memories are most likely caused by a hyperactive amygdala paired with an underactive/weak prefontal cortex. The prefontal cortex (PFC) is responsible for planning, decision-making, working memory, social behaviour, as well as language. For many, this is one of the last area to heal coming off of a dopamine antagonist like invega.
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Those painful nostalgic memories gave me absolute hell. They’ve stopped for me now though thankfully
 
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