Those are some wild combos. DiPT and 5-MeO-DiPT sounds like an interesting combo. Is that karmic rebirth cycle something that you ever aim to achieve, or just something that is likely to happen at doses that you take?
The first handful of times that it happened (ayahuasca, LSD, mescaline, large mushroom doses) I didn't know it would happen, but was delighted and fascinated to experience what ended up being the most transformative, pivotal kinds of experiences that psychedelics/hallucinogens can elicit imo. It's something akin to a DMT breakthrough as far as possible impact, and it's often able to elicit more change to the trauma or whatever I'm addressing than anything else could even dream of. So, I suppose that to answer this question, at first it was accidental, but now I pursue it when I feel the need to and I know I can get there by turning the dose up high enough. Most recently it's occurred from ~160mg of 2C-B orally, which had me repeatedly oscillating in and out of that fractal space. The kind of oscillation where I get out of my desk chair to walk to the bed (6 feet at the furthest) and hit the ground twice on the way, in a fully unconscious state akin to a DMT breakthrough. Poured that 2C-B in a cotton candy Faygo and now the thought of that soda gives me goosebumps haha.
I imagine that the rebirth cycle takes on a different flavor depending on the substance(s) taken.
Absolutely, but there's more divergence in sub-breakthrough experiences, at a certain point all of the fractals kind of blend into similarity. I have a tough time distinguishing say, 3-4mg of LSD, from 160mg of 2C-B, from that quad mix of DiPT/5-MeO-DiPT/2C-B/LSD, it only varies if I step out into including NMDA antagonists, or monoamine releasers, but it seems like there are the unique "sliders" of experience that can be separated by vague pharmacological mechanism, from the array of [norep/serotonin/dopamine agonism, NMDA antagonism, monoamine releasing, MAO inhibition, ACeH inhibition].
Did you know your fiance before they reached out or was it like a dating app sort of thing or what? If you don't mind my asking. Either way, it's beautiful that you've had someone close to you for some time and that they've helped you become a bit more social. Being somewhat social is something insanely important in humans lives but that I feel like gets put to the wayside in this capitalistic society. It's a damn shame. When I was 18 I had a ton of friends. I'm 31 now and I have one friend, and my roommate who I consider a friend but now pisses me off and I don't enjoy spending a lot of time with, and then like maybe one or 2 more friends where we no longer hang out but keep in contact through facebook.
We'd met about 3-4 months earlier, I was introducing an old friend to LSD and he asked if he could invite a friend along, and that friend he invited is my fiance. He's actually got a BL account (
@Felidaez) but he doesn't use the site super often. He spontaneously reached out 3-4 months later, and then the day after that we went on date #1 and it's been playing out since then. I also don't know if I worded it correctly in the last post, but by prosocial I don't necessarily mean the drive to socialize, but the drive to be a normal person in society. I'm naturally driven towards radical action for sociopolitical reasons, and it helps for me to surround myself with more prosocial people than antisocial people. I should've specified that deviation between asocial (avoiding socialization) and antisocial (being normal instead of running a pseudocult to do things society isn't fond of). I've been really fortunate in that wherever I've been in my life or however I've been feeling/living, I've usually had a very easy time finding a community. My mother's like that too, she reminds me of Ma Dukes Blizzard from the second American civil war, where my mother naturally attracts community, I think I picked up on that to some degree.
I know it sounds like a cliche, like telling a depressed person to "just be happy", but for me at least finding friends is just a matter of engaging in activites I enjoy, as most are inherently communal and lend themselves to communal immersion. Things like making/performing music, skateboarding, working with plants, etc. all tend to have you at a skatepark, a music venue/store, or a community garden, and by virtue I've met a ton of people essentially on accident just by doing things I enjoy, and striking up conversations with people.
Sounds like you burned the NEP when you tried. I found NEP to be a bit more finicky to vaporize but I eventually got the hang of it. It of course just led to me compulsively hitting it every few minutes while sitting at the computer and listening to music. Meth is best eaten and also great insufflated. I don't know why I always go for vaping it because it always ends in the same way, me compulsively hitting the damn bowl until I'm overstimulated, running around trying to get a million things done until I make things even more of a mess, and then hitting the bowl again. I can attest to it forming memories extremely well, for better or worse. There was a study that found that soldiers who took amphetamines as a pep pill were I think it was 5-times more likely to develop PTSD, which makes sense as they form memories so vividly. I would imagine that noopept would help with it forming memories.
I almost certainly burnt the NEP, but even in a nail with a raised core I just could not get it right, and didn't really care to due to the asthma attack induced by that burnt hit which I couldn't even emulate with a full gram dab of white diamonds perfectly vaporized out of an enail. I'd love to try to design some studies surrounding the varying qualities of different drugs' impacts on memory formation. Amphetamine memories feel so visceral, like a perfect replaying of lived experience, whereas modafinil and noopept feel more like an abstract thing that I find more useful for studying abstract concepts. If I'm reading about computational complexity or the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis or any other heady, nerd shit like that which relies heavily on abstraction and the interconnection of ideas, noopept/modafinil feel superior, and they seem to function better for others in that context as well. Subjectively, amphetamines make me recall weird shit, like a drive I did once bringing a piece of furniture to the dump, or cleaning the house with both vigor and haste, but when I'm trying to go hard on abstract concept with just amphetamines I end up remembering staring at the book more than what's inside of that book. That experience seems somewhat consistent with others', but not fully, so I'd love to see this actually studied at some point.
OT: Currently, 25mg of promethazine, and a rather heavy amount of vaporized MDMB-4en-PINACA that was stuffed inside of a 30 cent cigarillo from the liquor store. Was going to trip today but I keep feeling weird as hell (even before the spice), so I may put that off for later tonight, or another day. May also just take a small dose of something as a sort of "seasoning" on the day but without being too disruptive. As far as serotonergics go, I'm working with ethocin, miprocin, psilacetin, mushrooms, metocin, 5-MeO-DiPT, N,N-DPT, N,N-DiPT, harmala alkaloids, DOB, DOM, peyote, HBWR, allylescaline, 2C-B, and a handful of others. I suppose that it's a very good problem to have, to face this option paralysis. Of the things listed here, what do you think would lead to the best composition of math rock on guitar?
