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About to make another poor decision for science

chris_p said:
Just took a bit more mdma this shit feels so fucking amazing I swear it's like the completely different drug I remember years ago. Just took some shrooms too, 2g, should synergize with the rue... The absolute state of crazy fucking bliss and full euphoria im experiencing right now is very hard to describe. I do think this type of thing can make a long term toll on me lol maybe this will be my last time with for another month.

Although I tell people never to do what I do, I've just had the most recreational MDMA experience in my life, dot that down for sciences sake...
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Good to know, I too have been known to use my body as some sort of human petri dish on occasion so I fully respect it.

I don't do MDMA anymore but if I ever get the urge I've got roughly 250g of Syrian Rue seeds leftover to experiment with and this sounds right up my ally.

Good vibes and have a great roll my man.
 
chris_p said:
Just took a bit more mdma this shit feels so fucking amazing I swear it's like the completely different drug I remember years ago. Just took some shrooms too, 2g, should synergize with the rue... The absolute state of crazy fucking bliss and full euphoria im experiencing right now is very hard to describe. I do think this type of thing can make a long term toll on me lol maybe this will be my last time with for another month.

Although I tell people never to do what I do, I've just had the most recreational MDMA experience in my life, dot that down for sciences sake...
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I hope you stick around and at least update us with how you're doing
 
someguyontheinternet said:
I hope you stick around and at least update us with how you're doing
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Lol I'll make it a rule to myself, if I'm ever going to quit posting on bluelight for the forseeable future etc i somehow deicde to get sober, I will announce it on a thread, but until then I'll be on this place documenting my stupid decision so other people can learn and know more about substances themselves, like how I do for myself,
 
chris_p said:
but until then I'll be on this place documenting my stupid decision so other people can learn and know more about substances themselves
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there is no need to. it is documented that maois in conjuction with serotonin releasers expose you to massive risk of serotonin syndrome. It does not necessarily happen but it is very dangerous.

Only thing you are proving is your self-destructive attitude. I have told you what I think about that and honestly I am annoyed that you want to call irresponsible, dangerous, straight-up insane messing around "scientific study", because that is a lie.

No one cheers up if you some day die because of your reckless behaviour. No one is going to say "woohooo, GREAT DATA we've got, now we know what NOT to do!" People are going to say "I knew it was coming to this, and it was completely preventable, if chris_p had just listened to reason, no one benefitted of this, so sad."
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
there is no need to. it is documented that maois in conjuction with serotonin releasers expose you to massive risk of serotonin syndrome. It does not necessarily happen but it is very dangerous.

Only thing you are proving is your self-destructive attitude. I have told you what I think about that and honestly I am annoyed that you want to call irresponsible, dangerous, straight-up insane messing around "scientific study", because that is a lie.

No one cheers up if you some day die because of your reckless behaviour. No one is going to say "woohooo, GREAT DATA we've got, now we know what NOT to do!" People are going to say "I knew it was coming to this, and it was completely preventable, if chris_p had just listened to reason, no one benefitted of this, so sad."
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Well I had a crazy good time, easily my most euphoric roll of all time, there was definitely some hypertension and palpitations involved but nothing I couldn't manage, I'm not willingly trying to kill myself here, what I did was risky but not dangerous I'd say I heavily enjoyed and would likely do it again, I can understand how important harm reduction is but its often a static system that doesnt see much change, people don't experiment with the combinations seen as 'dangerous' thus their status as such remains, it's clear that syrian rue + MDMA is not immediately life threatening or dangerous if used correctly in controlled doses, the erowid reports also seem to match my conclusion, it brings back out a part of the drug that I thought I long lost the ability to feel. honestly I have a hard time imagine doing MDMA in the future without this combination just because of the sheer euphoria and duration, it's like having your coffee without your morning joint

My own subjective experiences I've come to form has given me a great understanding of these substances from a sensory perspective, I just write them down here for people to see, over all I think I am doing a good thing. If I was being willingly irresponsible I'd just slam a gram of mdma and moclobemide and send myself to an early grave, sometimes small amounts of poisons is where the greatest medicine lies, I'm definitely on to something here
 
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Yeah but how much did that huge dose of that alzheimer's drug you took a few days ago interact with what you took today? I bet it's not zero
 
Electrum1 said:
Yeah but how much did that huge dose of that alzheimer's drug you took a few days ago interact with what you took today? I bet it's not zero
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If it had an effect, it was definitely highly synergistic, I have mostly stopped feeling the memantine outside of mild energy boost which is subtle
 
Glad to see you're still with us today! Palpitations and possibly hypertension are definitely concerning, MDMA already increases BP and heart rate as it is, any arrhythmia that happens would likely be worsened under these circumstances which could get really ugly really fast
 
MAOi's are literally the first thing on the list of shit you should not take with MDMA. There is absolutely no good reason to do that. And you did this after eating half a gram of memantine the other day?

This is not only a danger to yourself, but you're using the website to essentially promote these activities and tell people "hey I survived so *maybe* you can too", and thus putting us all at risk. Not only will serotonin syndrome kill the shit out of you, it's gonna be excruciatingly painful the whole damn time.

You are ignoring basic harm reduction concepts and doing the exact shit that many people have died to tell you *not* to do.

It's not scientific, it's fucking moronic. Imagine how your mom or family or lover or friend will feel when they find you slumped out dead.

C'mon bro, you gotta chill. You've been around long enough to know that this is not how to take drugs safely, it's gonna end up not being very fun for you one of these days, and I for one, don't want to see that happen.
 
I have repeatedly seen different people to refer to their substance abuse as "exploration" for some greater good, in different platforms and IRL too. It results in anecdotes that are not scientifically valid for much anything and the motivation behind those statements is justification of blindly hedonistic behaviour/clearing anxiety associated to addict not being high.

You can just say that you have irresistible urges and that's okay. I do have those too. And I have lots of stupid ideas, I am addict, and I follow those stupid ideas daily. It is no shame, it is common issue for which many people are in this forum in the first place. I do not judge you for that, because it is your own life, but I strongly suggest you to stay honest to yourselves and other forum users too, for reasons distantkarma is mentioning. Because if you dismiss everything you can lose and dismiss every chance you have to get yourself 'rekt and make up lies to maintain inner coherency and sense of "everything is fine and this is how things should go", you will regret it later, if you don't suddenly die.

For realz, I don't know details of your life, what is behind your suffering you have described in earlier threads, but your rhetorics are faulty as fuck and incredibly easy to prove incorrect.

I have used drugs for 14 years intermittently of which more than half I have been actively addicted, at least to caffeine and last 5-6 years I have had serious problems with really hard drugs. I am just saying this so you understand where I am coming from, I have sooooo many times found what I just told to be true in my own life, I absolutely know what I am talking about when I make these claims.
 
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Pissed_and_messed said:
I have repeatedly seen different people to refer to their substance abuse as "exploration" for some greater good, in different platforms and IRL too. It results in anecdotes that are not scientifically valid for much anything and the motivation behind those statements is justification of blindly hedonistic behaviour/clearing anxiety associated to addict not being high.

You can just say that you have irresistible urges and that's okay. I do have those too. And I have lots of stupid ideas, I am addict, and I follow those stupid ideas daily. It is no shame, it is common issue for which many people are in this forum in the first place. I do not judge you for that, because it is your own life, but I strongly suggest you to stay honest to yourselves and other forum users too, for reasons distantkarma is mentioning. Because if you dismiss everything you can lose and dismiss every chance you have to get yourself 'rekt and make up lies to maintain inner coherency and sense of "everything is fine and this is how things should go", you will regret it later, if you don't suddenly die.

For realz, I don't know details of your life, what is behind your suffering you have described in earlier threads, but your rhetorics are faulty as fuck and incredibly easy to prove incorrect.

I have used drugs for 14 years intermittently of which more than half I have been actively addicted, at least to caffeine and last 5-6 years I have had serious problems with really hard drugs. I am just saying this so you understand where I am coming from, I have sooooo many times found what I just told to be true in my own life, I absolutely know what I am talking about when I make these claims.
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I think it is a misunderstanding of ideology, or at least value placed on life, at some point I had a 'revelation' so to speak where I realized my life as a human and the achievements I built up are essentially worthless, I see people around me clinging on to something that will one day go away anyway, so why make yourself suffer through it all? Shaving a few decades of misery away only seems beneficial in my minds eye, and if it doesnt come to be, I'll have more time to enjoy myself. I really only see a victory here either way.

I guess it's part of our innate biology to value our lives and the lives of others but self awareness made me acknowledge these are just chains that bind us to a world of pointless suffering that we needlessly partake in because we are manipulated by our own instincts, essentially we are slaves tortured by our own minds for a pointless goal of reproduction and survival of which stems from the actions of pure entropy that resulted in our existence. Being alive is not a good thing innately, we're weird masses of electrical consciousness that were fished from the void and manipulated to fear its returnal, but we were given the gift of euphoria or the ability to feel good, and most importantly the ability to escape pain/suffering through death, in my mind both of these things are only positives

Even if some part of me is mentally convinced and factually acknowledges everything I am doing is wrong from a societal, moral and instinctive standpoint, spiritually I know I am doing something correct. I am using the tools granted to me here now to achieve what I think is the best I can grant myself as an observer, the highest form of sensory experience. Humans are very good at convincing themselves they're doing what's best for themselves. I would say, whatever brings most joy to oneself is the right thing to do, as long as you're not harming anyone else. You don't need to emphasize with my actions, know I only do things to enjoy myself with little else regard, and if I didn't like it I'd be doing something else. I'm really just like everyone else, trying to make ourselves feel better, whether its through charity, working hard, caring for others, or relentlessly abusing powerful substances to reach the peak sensory experience my mind is capable of creating, they are all actually quite similar.
 
When you have burnt yourself out or caused yourself brain damage, whatever you call it, you are going to carry on living with the issues you have caused to yourself, possibly decades, asking yourself "was it worth it?" and you either answer yourself "no" or you lie to yourself. If you are going to die, it will be extremely agonizing and totally not worth the high.

Even if you didn't reach the point of no return, there are studies pointing out that MDMA use that is barely even heavy abuse by many standards, commonly causes increase in physiological and psychological markers that either imply or directly causes decreased life quality. That means, people who roll regularly, are commonly chronically tainted all the time, and it is very difficult for me to perceive that as fair trade for getting high for few hours once a month or something.

There. It is this easy to point out where you have deluded yourself.
 
chris_p said:
I think it is a misunderstanding of ideology, or at least value placed on life, at some point I had a 'revelation' so to speak where I realized my life as a human and the achievements I built up are essentially worthless
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I also had this revelation when I was binging my prescription stimulants and barely sleeping or eating. Quit abusing drugs for a bit and start focusing on improving your health and you'll quickly find that your revelation was nothing more than an excuse to keep ruining yourself.
 
I think its important not to judge people for decisions they make only to themselves. Of course, it's your duty to tell them to do otherwise, but the message here is fairly clear, and I don't really feel the need to make excuses for pointless reasons. I am very well aware of what risky things I'm doing to myself and have been doing similar things for many years and though perhaps it has injured my life to some degree I go back to it because there is a benefit that outweighs a positive here, enough for my body to instinctively move and act towards it regardless of what my actual goals in life are. I don't attempt to fight my desires, there's no point, I cannot change what I am without making myself purposefully miserable, if I'm not getting fucked up every day I might as well be comatose since there's nothing else to look forward to. I only remember my life being better after starting drugs, and somehow, despite all the things I do to myself, I work 9 hours 5 days a week with no real complications
 
I hear you. Just don't call it science. And do not expect to not get feedback in harm reduction forum, we are doing our best to accept you without enabling you.
 
I've been a volenteer for several HR and recovery services over the years.

You know what I've noted time and time again? Clients taking the same unwise combination of drugs for long periods of time and then, one day they stop turning up and later someone tells you they were found dead.

In short - just because you survive a combination once, it's unwise to presume that it proves safety.

Over the years we have noted some patterns that aren't yet fully understood. One is that clients were more likely to OD if they used in unfamiliar surroundings. A few theories have been put forward but we have talked to some and they were very clear that they used exactly the same dose as usual but the outcome was different.

Also that mood appears to be more important than most people imagine. We even produced a cartoon which noted that depression appears to be a risk factor in overdoses. Again, it's not entirely clear why this should be a measurable risk factor.

There are a few others but those two are often overlooked.

I don't think it's a secret that MAOIs amplify the effects of a drug that releases monoamines so I'm not quite sure what the experiment was meant to show.

Still, you are in the land of the living and THAT is the important thing.
 
There are a lot of great things in life to experience, drugs and otherwise, and it would be a shame to miss out on wonderful experiences in the name of going out with a bang

We can enjoy life while living the whole thing. It only takes one slip up to lose everything
 
BTW that and other risk factors are all in the animated film 'Mr Mange Goes Over'. While it is primarily dealing with heroin, all of the other risk factors apply to other drugs.

Be warned - it's EXTREMELY dark humour. Michael actually asked 'do you think I can put this one out?' and I just said 'if it saves just one person, it's got to be a good thing'.
 
This is a deep thread it expands beyond the drug-combo now.
Speechless, but as Pissed_Messed said others may read this.
And give em a bad idea.

Then 4DQSAR came with a other strong point. About the patterns,
and their unpredictability.

And overal it seems that every post says:
we would hate it if you hurt yourself.
And you will be missed might it go wrong.

And despite i totally get what you wright to,
can t imagine their besides us in your life
ain t people you will leave behind.

I almost killed myself intentional. A after effect of a Seizure.
And side effect of the medication they put me on.
Just forgot to inform me. The hospital specialists.

Glad i told my plan, tools and plan worked out already.
A painless death not a painful one, like SS or ...
Called my mom told my plan.
She talked me out of it, you wil be missed and are
worthful no matter in what crappy state.

I think the same applies to you,
as you worded yourself so clear.
Feels a bit, following your explanation
like a state very similar, as far as one can.

i have.
 
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