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How to spot "overconfidence" and "insecurities" in ones self

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Nov 3, 1999
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The only way I know how to apply a label to something that I experience on a sliding scale with no intrinsic value, is to compare myself to the average.

Personally, what's makes me question myself, is knowing that there's millions of people that do what I pride myself on better than I do. And every single person on this planet knows something that others do not - not necessarily factual things, but things nonetheless.

Some day I may take something too seriously - the next day I may effortlessly walk away. Or in reverse which is worse, I may walk away only to realize it wasn't time.

Thoughts?
 
At one point of my life, my musical project with bandmates started to have problems. Then I developed some pains, that restricted my sports orientation. So I actually, completely, dismissed both. Which was followed by depression, anxiety and raging amphetamine addiction. I had ran out of all meaning in life.

I have realized now, I had based too much of my ego and self-worth on world view and cognitive patterns that actually set my ego vulnerable and unstable. It all turned against itself.

*Authors brain has melted off of sleep deprivation and they doesn't know if they intended to say something more*

Over.
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
At one point of my life, my musical project with bandmates started to have problems. Then I developed some pains, that restricted my sports orientation. So I actually, completely, dismissed both. Which was followed by depression, anxiety and raging amphetamine addiction. I had ran out of all meaning in life.

I have realized now, I had based too much of my ego and self-worth on world view and cognitive patterns that actually set my ego vulnerable and unstable. It all turned against itself.

*Authors brain has melted off of sleep deprivation and they doesn't know if they intended to say something more*

Over.
Click to expand...

That is brilliant.

If more words come in time that's cool. If not, also cool. Because what you said is pretty profound.

I'll be rereading that.
 
Madness said:
The only way I know how to apply a label to something that I experience on a sliding scale with no intrinsic value, is to compare myself to the average.

Personally, what's makes me question myself, is knowing that there's millions of people that do what I pride myself on better than I do. And every single person on this planet knows something that others do not - not necessarily factual things, but things nonetheless.

Some day I may take something too seriously - the next day I may effortlessly walk away. Or in reverse which is worse, I may walk away only to realize it wasn't time.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

A basic stoic approach is sometimes useful.

Do I care enough/have the will power to change myself? Yes/no.

Do I have control/an actual ability to change myself? Yes/no

If you don't have control over it then it's pretty much a non starter. If you can change and want to, then it's a matter of strategy.

Life is finite and there are only so many hours in a day. You have to consider what your priorities are.

Everything else boils down to radical acceptance and equanimity.

There are always going to be people better and worse than you. For me personally, I'd rather compete with myself than someone else, if I'm going to compete at all.
 
Madness said:
Personally, what's makes me question myself, is knowing that there's millions of people that do what I pride myself on better than I do. And every single person on this planet knows something that others do not - not necessarily factual things, but things nonetheless.
Click to expand...
Hola Madness,
I was reading this part of what you wrote ^ & thought about it’s not other people doing things ‘better’ than …. I would say just ‘differently’ than …. & guess the goal for each of us is to be the ‘best’ versions of ourselves. Which will be different for all of us as we’ve all had different unique to ourself experiences, different personalities, chemical makeups, souls ect.

I hope that made any sense, I’m super sleep deprived going through PTSD stuff.
Hugs 💜
 
Foreigner said:
A basic stoic approach is sometimes useful.

Do I care enough/have the will power to change myself? Yes/no.

Do I have control/an actual ability to change myself? Yes/no

If you don't have control over it then it's pretty much a non starter. If you can change and want to, then it's a matter of strategy.

Life is finite and there are only so many hours in a day. You have to consider what your priorities are.

Everything else boils down to radical acceptance and equanimity.

There are always going to be people better and worse than you. For me personally, I'd rather compete with myself than someone else, if I'm going to compete at all.
Click to expand...

I believe that our ability to change is likely far greater than we all think.

How exactly are we supposed to know the max of our abilities for things that are not so black and white?
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
Hola Madness,
I was reading this part of what you wrote ^ & thought about it’s not other people doing things ‘better’ than …. I would say just ‘differently’ than …. & guess the goal for each of us is to be the ‘best’ versions of ourselves. Which will be different for all of us as we’ve all had different unique to ourself experiences, different personalities, chemical makeups, souls ect.

I hope that made any sense, I’m super sleep deprived going through PTSD stuff.
Hugs 💜
Click to expand...

Hope you find peace, b e z, I accept the hug and gently hug back but not a long one, made great sense yes.

That's a good realization and mindset to have. Now that I think on that path, isn't it crazy how so many, for example, pro football players, they're all at least a certain speed, a general height, and they all play by the same rules. The foundation is simple. And the players are seemingly very similar. But the amount of variation on the field, the amount of pro, grown, smart and strong men who get straight out duped on plays and blindsided by subtle shifts in position is pretty amazing.

Thanks for that idea.
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
I have realized now, I had based too much of my ego and self-worth on world view and cognitive patterns that actually set my ego vulnerable and unstable. It all turned against itself.
Click to expand...
That's most people's problem. And even though in moments of clarity they realize it, they stubbornly return to those views and patterns (at least I did several times in life). It takes constant work and strong will to get out of that circle.
Foreigner said:
For me personally, I'd rather compete with myself than someone else, if I'm going to compete at all.
Click to expand...
That's where I am now. I try to be the best perfectionist I can, and surpas myself every day. But I can live happily with myself on days/occasions when I can't. Just try to do better next time.
Madness said:
How exactly are we supposed to know the max of our abilities for things that are not so black and white?
Click to expand...
You'll have to find first a way to measure those black or white things before being able to determine a max. As long as you can't do it, there is no max. Only a little more (or less) than before.
 
Maybe take the risk.

Maybe try something new..

I know that extreme situations show character sometimes. That's what I'm looking for. I'm tired of not learning anything new about myself. Page 2 Google articles can only share so much. And it's not even written by me so who cares anyway? It's not like I'm your average non playable character.

Tough to find the path.

@lecroute
 
Madness said:
I know that extreme situations show character sometimes. That's what I'm looking for. I'm tired of not learning anything new about myself.
Click to expand...
Are you looking for exteme situations (to show character)? Or just for new a facet of your character? Or a new "peak" of a specific part (which can be be a new experience and open new doors)?
I gave up on finding answers in the thousand search engine results that are all basically the same BS.
I also gave up on reading the fifth book about personal growth and spirituality and psychology (shit, I even studied psy for 4 semesters).
For now I'm trying a more intuitive approach. A little (or a lot) trial & reflection.
 
Looking for something else I stumbled over this thread again. My answer to just the title

How to spot "overconfidence" and "insecurities" in ones self​

Click to expand...
Whenever I do something, after a second or a few hours or even days, it either feels okay, or it doesn't.
If it feels okay, then I'm happy with myself and enjoy the feeling of being such a wise and smart person.
If it doesn't feel good, I ask myself why. What part of what I did led to that odd feeling? What made me do this or that? At this point it's almost obvious.
 
lecroute said:
what I did led to that odd feeling? What made me do this or that? At this point it's almost obvious.
Click to expand...

I try to do this. Sometimes for me it's hard to pinpoint what caused what. I put an extraordinarily large amount of effort into analyzing things such as social interactions.

In high school id blank out watching TV after school - maybe a couple hours a day at some ages if not playing video games - most the time watching TV I was more thinking about my day than watching.

I wish I didn't have to keep doing that, but it gets easier. Thankfully as I've gotten older I have been able to recognize patterns, opportunities, where things went wrong, in others, myself, and just in general.
 
overconfidence produces bitter fruits

insecurities are felt internally and everyone has a different level of awareness of them.

humility is the antidote to overconfidence

insecurities are just part of the picture and voices we have picked up over time, its not the whole picture.
 
Madness said:
put an extraordinarily large amount of effort into analyzing things such as social interactions.
Click to expand...
I did that when I was younger, too. Because I felt I had had to learn them so I could fit in by copying others. Then came a time when I realized that I didn't like who I was when trying to fit in. Curiously enough, whenever I had such a fit-in phase, it's when I took the bad decisions. So I stopped doing it.
Now I just work on becoming a better version of myself under my own conditions, views, and moral code.
I know I will probably have to pay the price for this one day.
 
Madness said:
My thing about the thread is I'm usually faced with the two feelings later than I'd like.
Click to expand...
You mean you would like to recognize your overconfidence / insecurity the moment your doing something, instead of three hours or so later?
 
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