Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

[CFC]

Anyone like watching ex-addicts talking about moving forward? I quite like these two, and I found their interview honest and relatable.

 

[kiely]

Thank you kiely

Awwe. Y/w.

 

[FatBellyWhipSlay]

so bit of a change here guys

on Saturday I had a bit of a mental breakdown, dont remember a thing about it, but my family were scared for me and had to go to hospital, but all they wanted to do was put me on anti depressants which i refused, they gave me 2mg of diazepam and sent me home, yeah thanks for that

not getting hooked on anything else, but i just cant stop crying (uncontrollably) at the moment and i feel good in the morning but then by mid afternoon i am yawning, goosebumps, crying... its like this bupe is saying to me you aint outta of it yet dude im gonna get every last piece i can outta ya you worthless piece of shit

 

[thatmf]

so bit of a change here guys

on Saturday I had a bit of a mental breakdown, dont remember a thing about it, but my family were scared for me and had to go to hospital, but all they wanted to do was put me on anti depressants which i refused, they gave me 2mg of diazepam and sent me home, yeah thanks for that

not getting hooked on anything else, but i just cant stop crying (uncontrollably) at the moment and i feel good in the morning but then by mid afternoon i am yawning, goosebumps, crying... its like this bupe is saying to me you aint outta of it yet dude im gonna get every last piece i can outta ya you worthless piece of shit

That sucks so much. Sorry to hear. I understand that hospitals don't really want to admit people unless they're a danger to themselves or others, but maybe look into your avenues towards getting admitted. Either way though this shitty, shitty period will end. Stay strong, reach out to whomever you can, see if there's any wrap-around services you can access. Also, don't worry about offending people etc, it's a sign of emotional pain if you're lashing out. You're only human. I hope you get through this rough patch and head towards sunnier, greener pastures. The first steps are always the hardest but you can do it.

 

[Painful One]

Man, I give up.
Some Of my family members are never going to forgive me or accept me.

I cooked a huge Early Thanksgiving for everyone yesterday and it sucked for me.
No one even wants to sit by me.
They are never going to forgive.
Doesn’t matter how hard I try.

i fucking hate the holidays.
My family are mostly Mormon, so there is this impossible level for me.

 

[kiely]

. . ., so there is this impossible level for me.

so They are probably trying to get back at you and make you angry because they were. I am really sorry if it makes you feel better.
So I guess it really did work and they got you angry because they want you to suffer like they did. I don't just think it's them.
I think it's all humans that do it. It's just in the dna. We were probably created that way. To create conflict. I don't like it either.
That's why . . . i just think mortal humans act that way on purpose.
Sry for rant. Stay calm. But your family is acting mean !!!!!!

 

[kiely]

i hope you aren't in that space now where you will take accountability blame and thinking this is your fault. You acknowledge that it exist. you know. It happens all of the time it really really does. They should be ashamed. . . of themselves. They are just blaming you and they are holding on to it. The past is the past you know. Leave it someday.
so Reactive Abuse is real ya'll.

And sorry I was just reacting but with intent to . . . or not with unkindness.

 

[kiely]

They are turning things around on you and blaming you. They are trying to make it seem like it is your fault. Painful.
And of course you will react to it. And that's how they keep abusing you. That's pretty evil if you ask me. It is.

 

[kiely]

omg i couldn't find my peace sign .. . anywhere.

i almost had to post lightning.

stay calm. stay peaceful. stay positive. and know that your family is kind of mean.

Man, I give up.
Some Of my family members are never going to forgive me or accept me.

I cooked a huge Early Thanksgiving for everyone yesterday and it sucked for me.
No one even wants to sit by me.
They are never going to forgive.
Doesn’t matter how hard I try.

i fucking hate the holidays.
My family are mostly Mormon, so there is this impossible level for me.

mmmM thanksgiving sounded so nice. i should have been there.

sry i jst felt like talking a bit. hallah

Food Sounds Wonderful. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's Hot ! At least they make it easier on you.

 

[kiely]

it's okay

just be alright

 

[Painful One]

I guess it went good.
Everyone had a good time and the food turned out great.

There is just one loud mouth who married my niece who is a dick.
He always gets little jabs in.

I’m just going to ignore him.
Fuck him!
He is jealous.

I had a good time with the rest of my family.
It is just hard rejoining in after my absence.

The main thing is that I am trying.
Gotta just keep trying and it will become easier.

 

[Jnowhere]

I hate November, my mom died and almost exactly a year later my only sibling and only friend, my sister died. It was ruled suicide but she was epileptic ànd morbid. Not suicidal, then I spent 3 weeks or so; a few days after my mom died in the hospital. My dad died in this August so the holidays are not an issue for me anymore. No grandparents left. I can't really remembering any family holidays recently. There's about a 5 foot tall fake Christmas tree in my living room since 2012-2013. Just never took it down and then family died off.
I don't hate the holidays, but this is a bad time of year for me.
I am the "black" sheep of the family. I try not to let too much bitterness at this time of year get me down. Not to mention my birthday is near Christmas.....then tax season, I have to do my dad's income taxes. At least I don't live anywhere near pockets of where my extended family live. I am spared all get-togethers. They could careless about seeing me and I don't like to travel.

 

[kiely]

Man, I give up.
Some Of my family members are never going to forgive me or accept me.

I cooked a huge Early Thanksgiving for everyone yesterday and it sucked for me.
No one even wants to sit by me.
They are never going to forgive.
Doesn’t matter how hard I try.

i fucking hate the holidays.
My family are mostly Mormon, so there is this impossible level for me.

i hope you aren't in that space now where you will take accountability blame and thinking this is your fault. You acknowledge that it exist. you know. It happens all of the time it really really does. They should be ashamed. . . of themselves. They are just blaming you and they are holding on to it. The past is the past you know. Leave it someday.
so Reactive Abuse is real ya'll.

And sorry I was just reacting but with intent to . . . or not with unkindness.

They make you look like the problem. It's very real. It's reactive. And is done in such a way as to poison you.

Try not to let them make you look like that is all that I can really contribute in the moment. Reactive Abuse. It's another level of gaslighting, only much more harsh. Or should I say vindictive and uncalled for booolshtt.
This situation will in some way find its way into life. Somehow. And most likely.

But, also they will try control, blackmail, anything.

And they might take it so far that they will . . have you apologizing for your behaviors. . . . ''' I'm sorry I slung it at you, I don't know what got over me.''' And then they gotchoo.

But you have to be careful because I think people are the problem? lulz? I guess we have to try to not be part of the problem somehow. Yeah they know what makes someone tic. So they know they trigger you and they can control you. It's always the nicest people too that will tell you how nice they are. They have to or else you won't know.

And they tell everyone else too how nice they are and then point out your negative behaviors that they instigated in the first place. You almost cannot win with the situ.

They don't want you to be in control of yourself. And they trigger. It's like we gotta change the access code. lo. Work on triggers I guess.

They are avoiding accountability and putting it on you. And everything and anything that can be blamed on you will be blamed on you.

I guess just tell them that you are nice too.

But you are and you are a real human being as well.

srry rant ovr

see this is why i just get tired so much

bye ttyl

 

[kiely]

but you can't tell me i'm more fck'd than i already am. heee. tht's hot.

 

[Jnowhere]

Painful One: that part about no one wanting to sit next to you, even though you made the meal, was really sad. Ignoring the dickhead sounds like a mature, good response. Even though a knock down drag out fight; At a family get together sounds like fun, you would have been stuck with the mess. Besides, if a lot of your family is mormon; I am quessing that their was little, if any alcohol served. But hopefully Christmas will be better.

 

[kiely]

I hate November, my mom died and almost exactly a year later my only sibling and only friend, my sister died. It was ruled suicide but she was epileptic ànd morbid. Not suicidal, then I spent 3 weeks or so; a few days after my mom died in the hospital. My dad died in this August so the holidays are not an issue for me anymore. No grandparents left. I can't really remembering any family holidays recently. There's about a 5 foot tall fake Christmas tree in my living room since 2012-2013. Just never took it down and then family died off.
I don't hate the holidays, but this is a bad time of year for me.
I am the "black" sheep of the family. I try not to let too much bitterness at this time of year get me down. Not to mention my birthday is near Christmas.....then tax season, I have to do my dad's income taxes. At least I don't live anywhere near pockets of where my extended family live. I am spared all get-togethers. They could careless about seeing me and I don't like to travel.

Do you live rural, or suburbs !! Yes, stay away from relatives they can get weird. Some of them.

I hope the snow is pretty this year !! Or am I depressing you. lol

Try to hold on to your family memories those ones of the good times. Your sister sounds cool af.

I am so sorry she is gone. I am glad that she was such a great best friend. That is so awesome.

bye.

Oh yes . . . and holidays are just the worst aren't they. lol. I just ignore them anymore.

now bye.



blaaa

 

[kiely]

Painful One: that part about no one wanting to sit next to you, even though you made the meal, was really sad.

omg i couldn't even read that correctly the first time

that was a horrible burn.

a scortch

maybe even a permanent one .

 

[kiely]

sry bye

 

[Jnowhere]

Do you live rural, or suburbs !! Yes, stay away from relatives they can get weird. Some of them.

I hope the snow is pretty this year !! Or am I depressing you. lol

Try to hold on to your family memories those ones of the good times. Your sister sounds cool af.

I am so sorry she is gone. I am glad that she was such a great best friend. That is so awesome.

bye.

Oh yes . . . and holidays are just the worst aren't they. lol. I just ignore them anymore.

now bye.



blaaa

They pass by until I realize it ain't 't sunday; there should be lots of mail, oh holidays are around, whatever, no bills!

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Hey guys, yea holidays are tough for me as well.
Sometimes I can talk about it sometimes I can’t so much.
November is the time of year I get really bad PTSD symptoms, flashbacks, night terrors ect. from when my ex tried to murder me. I was beaten up so badly & barely escaped with my life .. literally… escaped running block after block so beaten up I don’t even know how I was able to run other than adrenaline & survival mode…. stayed in hotels & motels while trying to deal with my wounds & having a miscarriage alone …. (The actual story is really fd up & crazy but I’m not going to tell it here, don’t think I can do it & don’t want to trigger anyone too much) I guess this is enough

Hope it’s okay I wrote this here

Big hugs