• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Is having a partner one of the main goals in Life?

Love is like the best drug of all time but when you comedown it’s absolute hell. Losing that high makes a cocaine comedown seem like a walk in the park.
Utterly BRUTAL ,BROTHER. Love is the only thing that made me leave opiates for like half a year during a time where what I felt for this girl made Me come off of an IV habit without missing a day of work on a Tuesday( I even remember the date January 17th 2017).
And it also made me RELAPSE hardcore on IV cola when we broke up( I had 2 years clean from it). Took me like a year and a half to get over her, must've been one of the most painful things I've experienced ever.
 
I have been miserable being with someone and completely happy being alone so i don't see why it should be mandatory. To be honest im so turned off by modern dating i would probably take coke and dilaudid over banging someone these days anyway
I prefer banging a large dose of morphine than having sex tbh... xd
 
If it's just a one off i would probably take a speedball over it for sure. Also a huge shot of coke is pretty goddamn orgasmic on it's own. I still get coke dreams fml lol
I haven't shot a speedball in nearly a decade but I sure remember that godlike feeling...I still prefer my junk on its own, if I shoot coke once....who am I kidding there's no only 1 shot, 2g or nothing at all. Xd
 
Pain & suffering though?
It's not all roses but it should enhance your life - am guessing, you are just being raw, but I hope they are treating you right?
Yeah, I was just speaking in general terms because I know that sometimes things can end up badly. However, my current girlfriend and I have a very good relationship dynamic, so I experience pretty much 0 pain and/or suffering. We complement each other and know how to communicate, so there isn't any internal conflict.
 
It's your life period. Fo what makes you happy..yes compassion fromand to a partner feels amazing but really comes down to kids imo. Once you have kids it's hard to walk away from the woman who is giving you grief bc of bs...I love my wife but if I had no kids I am positive I would be single at this point in life.

It's a heavy burden to not see your babies even for one night. Absolutely terrible feeling, the kids give and deserve to be loved. It's sad. Ya know when fights happen and other person wants to separate.

Worst thing ever. Depression anxiety a bit of suicidal thoughts because you can't imagine living without, but wouldn't dare because I love them and they need Dad, or mama.
 
I never wanted kids for various reasons. It was mainly because I didn't think that I would make a great father, but also for the selfish reason of not wanting the burden. That *really* limited my romantic life, because 99% of the women I've know have either wanted kids or already had them.
 
I never wanted kids for various reasons. It was mainly because I didn't think that I would make a great father, but also for the selfish reason of not wanting the burden. That *really* limited my romantic life, because 99% of the women I've know have either wanted kids or already had them.

Really?!? All the women I run into don’t.

Yea I also don’t want the burden, among many other reasons..

-GC
 
I don't think anything in life is exactly mandatory.
It all depends on your priorities and perspective. Personally speaking, someone to share my life with is the only thing I've ever wanted, and even if I were to achieve every other dream of mine that wouldn't compensate for not having a companion.
 
Disney type of love forever and ever after" doesn't exist.
I think that whole 'fairytale' stuff just confuses lust and love. You can instantly DESIRE another person and feel overwhelmed by attraction and then call it 'being in love', but that initial stage is really just wanting to fuck. In order to truly love someone you have to really get to know them first and that takes time. What you're in love with otherwise is a romanticized image of the person, not who they actually are.
on average After 2 years, boredom starts to sink in. The high* u experience from love fades away, u start noticing the other persons defects and shit.
I don't get bored of the sky and yet I see it every day.

Familiarity only breeds contempt if attraction is based on superficialities or if you want somebody to fulfil some fantasy of the ideal man or woman in your head. If you relate deeply to someone (and this goes for non-romantic relationships as well) familiarity breeds increasing appreciation.
 
I don't think anything in life is exactly mandatory.
It all depends on your priorities and perspective. Personally speaking, someone to share my life with is the only thing I've ever wanted, and even if I were to achieve every other dream of mine that wouldn't compensate for not having a companion.
I agree with you completely about nothing in life being mandatory. That’s the beauty of it (and also the horror) that the only restrictions on life are human-made ones. Whether for good or ill…it’s a good thing that there are laws against murder, for example, but a bad thing when people use made-up restrictions to limit their own growth.

I used to think that I was happier single. After all, I had wasted many years in an unhappy marriage, and being single meant not having to account for myself to anyone. But I’ve come to realize that when a relationship really functions as intended, and isn’t so terribly toxic, it’s way better than being single, no contest :) I sincerely hope that you find the person you are looking for (if you haven’t already) and then never have to be parted from them again. Long distance relationships are HARD 😢

Familiarity only breeds contempt if attraction is based on superficialities or if you want somebody to fulfil some fantasy of the ideal man or woman in your head. If you relate deeply to someone (and this goes for non-romantic relationships as well) familiarity breeds increasing appreciation.
I had no idea you were such a romantic idealist. I agree with this once again. I have friends that I’ve had for decades and have never grown bored with their company. Even when my best friend and I have nothing to say to each other (because we’ve said it all already) we’re still happier hanging out in quiet companionship, maybe reading our books in a coffeehouse in those wonderful plush armchairs, than we would be if in the same circumstance alone.

And knowing someone intimately and still feeling that strong attraction is the only way to know that you feel love, not lust; how can you TRULY love what you don’t know? But if you do intimately know someone, it doesn’t necessarily lead to a sense of ennui over time; I believe that in a good relationship, the connection between two lovers should grow stronger, not weaker.

You are wise, @TheUltimateFixx :)
 
Hey guys so as im approaching the age of 30, with the current state of world events and shit, ppl don't wanna either marry nor have kids anymore.
I'm asking myself whether truly it is a must requirement in life or not?
Tbh, since I chose this path of fucking sorrow ive only made people suffer and actually I've been avoiding having to deal with a relationship in years.
are some of u lone fucking wolves like I am? Or u guys can't live without being attached to someone? What are ur opinions?

Nothing is mandatory, it just depends on what you want. I think the narratives in our society definitely push romantic partnerships too hardcore without creating enough narratives about being happy and single. They tend to depict single people as miserable or something is terribly wrong with them. The truth is that there's a lot of single people out there. I know spinners and spinsters who have been single for over a decade. These are highly intelligent, attractive, capable people who just prefer their own company and the company of friends and family. The narrative about partnership in our society is probably to dupe people into having kids, which is in the government's interest. Most people I know who have kids are miserable and regret it, and the studies I've read on this show that parents who say "it was worth it" are suffering from "buyers bias." That's when you end up spending too much money on something low value but tell yourself it was worth it to avoid remorse.

Most of my long-term romantic relationships have been abysmal crash-and-burn failures, but have been valuable learning experiences. I have gone very long stretches of being single and pining for a partner, only to sometimes wish I was single once I was partnered. In other partnerships, I struggled long and hard to try and keep the relationship alive because I really wanted it. These days, I seem to be with the right person, fingers crossed. My personal life values mean I eventually want to end up in a permanent relationship with someone for the long-term, but you may have different values than I do. I consider my failed relationships as "training wheels" for my ultimate partner.

Relationships take work and joint effort. It means sacrificing some of your autonomy and independence to be with somebody else. In return, you get regular physical touch, a companion who hopefully shares your values, and pooled resources. I personally can go very long stretches being alone, maybe seeing a friend once a week. I can do this for months and months. Being a hermit and an isolationist doesn't bother me. But then I end up in romantic relationships and there is something magical and delightful about them, so I just go with it. Plus I like having regular sex with the same person and I enjoy practicing loving connection, it makes life very sweet and meaningful for me.

Anyone you end up with is just going to reflect you back at yourself. They show you where you still have work to do and where you need to do more learning. The person you choose also reflects your virtues and gifts back at you too. Is this work mandatory? Do you really need this kind of reflection? No. Sometimes when I'm single I say no to dating offers because I just don't want to deal with it. Other times, I enjoy the complication.

It all depends on what you want... but just because you're single doesn't mean you're "failing" at life. Life is your creation, so create something that has meaning for you. Plus you're only 30, I would not exactly say you're over the hill lol. Your life is really just beginning. There is really no roadmap in life, nowhere you're "supposed to be," despite the societal narratives. You can be anywhere you want, or nowhere. You have the freedom to choose.
 
Last edited:
I think that whole 'fairytale' stuff just confuses lust and love. You can instantly DESIRE another person and feel overwhelmed by attraction and then call it 'being in love', but that initial stage is really just wanting to fuck. In order to truly love someone you have to really get to know them first and that takes time. What you're in love with otherwise is a romanticized image of the person, not who they actually are.

I don't get bored of the sky and yet I see it every day.

Familiarity only breeds contempt if attraction is based on superficialities or if you want somebody to fulfil some fantasy of the ideal man or woman in your head. If you relate deeply to someone (and this goes for non-romantic relationships as well) familiarity breeds increasing appreciation.
Shit,you always got the right words. Love you buddy ❤️
 
Nothing is mandatory, it just depends on what you want. I think the narratives in our society definitely push romantic partnerships too hardcore without creating enough narratives about being happy and single. They tend to depict single people as miserable or something is terribly wrong with them. The truth is that there's a lot of single people out there. I know spinners and spinsters who have been single for over a decade. These are highly intelligent, attractive, capable people who just prefer their own company and the company of friends and family. The narrative about partnership in our society is probably to dupe people into having kids, which is in the government's interest. Most people I know who have kids are miserable and regret it, and the studies I've read on this show that parents who say "it was worth it" are suffering from "buyers bias." That's when you end up spending too much money on something low value but tell yourself it was worth it to avoid remorse.

Most of my long-term romantic relationships have been abysmal crash-and-burn failures, but have been valuable learning experiences. I have gone very long stretches of being single and pining for a partner, only to sometimes wish I was single once I was partnered. In other partnerships, I struggled long and hard to try and keep the relationship alive because I really wanted it. These days, I seem to be with the right person, fingers crossed. My personal life values mean I eventually want to end up in a permanent relationship with someone for the long-term, but you may have different values than I do. I consider my failed relationships as "training wheels" for my ultimate partner.

Relationships take work and joint effort. It means sacrificing some of your autonomy and independence to be with somebody else. In return, you get regular physical touch, a companion who hopefully shares your values, and pooled resources. I personally can go very long stretches being alone, maybe seeing a friend once a week. I can do this for months and months. Being a hermit and an isolationist doesn't bother me. But then I end up in romantic relationships and there is something magical and delightful about them, so I just go with it. Plus I like having regular sex with the same person and I enjoy practicing loving connection, it makes life very sweet and meaningful for me.

Anyone you end up with is just going to reflect you back at yourself. They show you where you still have work to do and where you need to do more learning. The person you choose also reflects your virtues and gifts back at you too. Is this work mandatory? Do you really need this kind of reflection? No. Sometimes when I'm single I say no to dating offers because I just don't want to deal with it. Other times, I enjoy the complication.

It all depends on what you want... but just because you're single doesn't mean you're "failing" at life. Life is your creation, so create something that has meaning for you. Plus you're only 30, I would not exactly say you're over the hill lol. Your life is really just beginning. There is really no roadmap in life, nowhere you're "supposed to be," despite the societal narratives. You can be anywhere you want, or nowhere. You have the freedom to choose.
Wow, that was very long and deep. Makes a lot of sense what you're saying 👌 your years of experience speak for itself. Very insightful, thanks for your input bro. 🫶🏼💯
 
As far as I know having a wife was mandatory for men only in Italy under Mussolini, so unless you are into time traveling you should be fine...seriously mano, I m 40, I had 3 serious relationship and the first one was when I was ...26, before I was more into sleeping around when possible, friends and obviously drugs. My first relationship was a total shitshow that made me realize that there are way worse things in life than heroin addiction, the second was super intense, the third...happened, I had just moved to Brazil, sleeping around as if there was no tomorrow and with absolutely no interest in a serious relationship still, boom, here I am , with the same beautiful Brazilian girl after 9 years. So I ld say it s not mandatory, but be open to the possibility because you ll never know.
 
Last edited:
As far as I know having a wife was mandatory for men only in Italy under Mussolini, so unless you are into time traveling you should be fine...seriously mano, I m 40, I had 3 serious relationship and the first one was when I was ...26, before I was more into sleeping around when possible, friends and obviously drugs. My first relationship was a total shitshow that made me realize that there are way worse things in life than heroin addiction, the second was super intense, the third...happened, I had just moved to Brazil, sleeping around as if there was no tomorrow and with absolutely no interest in a serious relationship still, boom, here I am , with the same beautiful Brazilian girl after 9 years. So I ld say it s not mandatory, but be open to the possibility because you ll never know.
Awesome story bro, cool happy ending. Wooo cheers for u my friend, I think I just have to be patient. A lovely girl will appear at any given time, when it's the moment. I won't try to force it cause that's when shit goes wrong. I'll just let it flow 🥳 thanks for sharing that.
 
Top