50 mics became 400 with a tonne of edible cannabis and vapor and a good hundred grams of kava, another mindbended of a trip with the purest, warpy alive LSD visuals.
Was all good. Was really wasted still yesterday after crashing for about 3.5 hours until 5.30 pm.
I could have done without though, at a pinnacle moment in life in so many ways it's uncanny, another Guiness Record's row with my mum at 8.30 pm last night, household stuff, new beds coming tomorrow (mattresses) and still stiff to be done.
My nerves cracked a long time ago from these turbulent rows we have.
I ended up taking 25 mg's Etizolam last night JUST to calm down not go mental.
I've never taken that much benzo in a day. It's extortionate. I can't really allow myself to take any today, major hang over and nausea from it too.
My intention is to try and leave a whole day off, so in theory I can go back to the 10-12.5 mg range I aim for, which is still wild, tomorrow, or who knows maybe use this momentum to go cold turkey.
I am in the most utterly extreme frame of mind of my life. I have no intention currently of attemlpting to eat food. Food is a real curse for me in best times, cannot work for me in difficult times, and these are officially worst times.
I have enough commitment, resolve and drive in me to basically fully commit to a fast.
I'm really, seriously not looking, asking, expecting attention or counsel.
I just settled at last after shower and whole daily allergy routine with a strong black coffee.
I have loaded a weed vaporizer but I know weed atm will drive my nerves insane espec with the Acid very fresh in me still.
Just trying to calm down I guess, that's why I post this, not for sympathy or attention or drama.
The plan was to set up the new 4 foot metal bed frame in my room today but that's gone out the window now.
I'll settle for this piece of foam I'm using.
This is probably the most "extreme" post I have made here, and I have made as many extreme statements and suggestions as anybody hereI strongly argue.
This is an extreme moment in time though.