Talk about a heroic dose! I admire your courage to step into that frame and wear it for 23 hours and the next few days. I was interested that you used a benzo to take the edge off the next day. I can almost feel you getting your calm back.
I'm interested to know if anyone has seen or experienced personality disturbances with overuse of psychedelics and cannabis? She takes a DAILY macrodose of psilocybin (200mg), THC (10 - 25 mg), with frequent ketamine spray, on a daily basis and taking a full dose of MDMA or LSD or mushrooms once a week. My partner has been doing this for several months and I notice that she has become increasingly agitated, negative and fearful. On MDMA she is often in a good place but when she goes back to an agitated state the next day.
She believes she is healing herself and using these substances to grow, and I support her growth, but I worry that she may becoming unhinged. She also says she needs it to manage pain. When I try to talk with her about this she shuts it down and gets angry and defensive. She is a smart, beautiful woman and she often has brilliant insights from her psychedelic use. Taking psychedelics this often can be an escape, not much different than someone who can't get through the day without a crutch. I am noticing that her frame or schema is getting distorted, like everything is filtered through broken glass. Kind of like a mild psychotic state. She also has an active kundalini. The combination of these substances might be the issue or it might just be her.
Please weigh in if you have any thoughts
Hi. I always appreciate openess and support so thanks. But I can’t really attribute the term heroic to myself regarding huge doses of LSD. It’s as much tomfoolery as bravery in my mind.
It takes a rare character too to really push the boat so far into the deep, never actually returning to shore, and still remain afloat.
I have always been unusually grounded and rooted, so deeply in my own mind and consciousness, it’s not like writing in the sand until the wind blows it over, it’s really ingrained in the hard rock underneath the sand which the wind never touches, but which is not immune to the elements nonetheless.
Not everybody is so firmly rooted deep down in their inner consciousness and mindset. Some people are much more prone to losing that trail of breadcrumbs.
I’m not exactly together and stable currently but if I was perfectly physically well, I don’t think I would whine and grumble at all, and would be as bright, chatty, chirpy and apparently together as anybody.
Infections and side effects have really messed me up, in my intestines and digestive system. I’ve had these problems for decades but have always accessed various treatments at crucial, vital points to bolster, reboot, repair, and recover.
End of 2019 I was actually the most well all round I have been since Lyme’s crippling onset in 2005.
Come Lockdown 1 I gathered some problems, but was denied access to any and all treatments. Things escalated in a way I would never have allowed them to, it’s been a vicious circle since. So many problems and each time I found a vine, started to climb, boulders knocking me from my grip, lockdown again at times I desperately needed treatment for chiropractic, and especially digestive and intestinal complications directly due to intestinal infections, blocking treatments, prolonging and deepening the impact of the disruptions.
It’s been impossible for myself, in such an unusually complex immune destroyed body to cope without the treatments which have always pulled me out of the deep into the shallows, physically health wise.
Add the stress and trauma of really seeing what is actually going on, I.e. plain pure genocide and planet wide take over, mass life destruction on a scale we’ve never seen, all in a lie, not the best recipe for dealing with pain and trauma.
It’s gone too far currently. My chiropractor who I saw Friday, I left it so late. Flu, multiple Coxsackie viruses since 24 th December, messed up my guts so bad.
I was first blocked from vital treatments in June 2020 which usually would enable me to reboot things.
By November, finally some access, things had swung the entire opposite way from 12 months prior. Zero digestive absorption, diverticulitis, malnourishment, minimal immune function and more.
All directly related to specific nasty viral infections I refer to frequently, the Coxsackie viruses I’ve battled with for decades.
I had my own brush, no immune system bare in mind and guarantee of severe widespread respiratory infection every new infection, with Corona last year.
Well knowing how to treat respiratory infections very well, it was a park walk to beat it down very quickly, no lasting complications.
But 2 different Coxsackie viruses in the fall is what messed my intestines up so bad. Both were infinitely harder also to lower and clear from the respiratory tract fully, months to complete vs weeks with Corona, with side effects and consequences I would not have survived without specific diagnosis and treatment in November.
I just started to turn the bend when true 6 week flu hit at Xmas. I was due an important follow up appt in January, which was paramour to ongoing recovery besides the Flu in between.
So that too was cancelled. 2 out of those 3 essential treatments blocked during lockdown.
Additional avenues were also denied, and things have escalated unnaturally in ways they simply would not have done in normal times and rightful circumstances.
On Friday she found my intestines very badly twisted. A hole in one area. Nothing was functioning, as I intuitively was aware, no organ, or system. Extreme malnourishment and anemia.
She corrected everything and treated every part of my intestinal tract.
For weeks, maybe months I’ve not been able to sleep, rest or relax due to a totally non functioning digestive system, and from that one far too delayed treatment, I went to sleep late Friday night, I was so over exhausted I could get up at all yesterday, Saturday. I’ve only been getting up because it was impossibly to sleep and too uncomfortable to lie there. I have lost so much life force though, I slept brokenly, but much deeper, all yesterday and night. Well over 24 hours sleep.
Having the most awful nightmares as a reflection of the deep ditch I’m in just to keep going in life currently.
I have no fight left atm. It will be quite miraculous if I see another year. I seriously would not see another 2 weeks had I not seen my chiropractor on Friday. I can’t guarantee I will even, so progressed was my exhausted state directly due to the intestinal disturbances which are entirely un drug related, but infections and stress.
Lockdowns really have destroyed my own health, life and chance of survival for a pandemic that doesn’t really exist, a virus which isn’t even worth a mention in my own health history and prognosis in my own direct experience with it, my mum’s (71 old) and others we know.
So I understandably fume, IMO at the injustice and sickness of it.
Many here strongly disagree I know. Some by their own differing personal experience, but most by the media alone.
But
@woundedhealer your girlfriend, first thought is the MDMA is very distinguishable from most psychedellics including LSD in it’s propensity, or almost guarnteehood to mentally and emotionally unhinge a person, however emotionally stable and fortified.
It’s really quite impossible to take MDMA frequently and not suffer severe disturbances.
Heavy LSD use can be a really tough ride, but you CAN get away with it.
In her position I would feel, leaving off MDMA primarily, drop THAT particular crutch as you correctly observe, would be my own encouragement.
She will need your support for a long time I feel, but will have to put a lot of work and dedication in herself and she needs to be deadly honest and real with herself too, moving forward. She may be in for a ride by the sounds. Just do your best for now to positively encourage her to be totally self honest, and consider amending her drug routine.
I would usually offer more but I’m pretty bedridden still from over exhaustion. I won’t say I’m hoping to survive. I lost the mythological hope a long time ago. Now it’s more of a predictive game but so uncertain. Still, I guess I do still hold hope. Just need to hope it will be possible for me to rejuvenate and recover, as it’s really slipped out of my hands.
I'd probably use etizolam if I had some, though. I also do the same of not feeling guilty if it's being used to regulate sleep.
